I am in the house, three of afternoon of Saturday.

I am returning of the cinema, and here I put myself to think.

In front of my sandwiches, in the mail a letter of a person to whom esteem much. I commented moments ago a person to him that I went to the cinema, by ICQ.. and she asked to me of bad way with that I was. And she is not my fiancee nor nothing of the sort.

I am in a quite strange mood. Short while ago I cried for the first time in several years, and third time in the last ten.

And I confess it. It was a film of Walt Disney.

TARZAN.

There are many things that leave to shine by the film, I recommend to see it to them.

Let us begin.

One of the questioned points but throughout my life in the Nagualismo, is the necessity of integration without separation nor mixture of both worlds; of the world of the knowledge and the power, with the world of the appearances and the apparent realities.

To leave the world is not allowed. It is not either allowed to seat and to lament themselves. Lahiri Mayadasa, a philosopher and contemporary teacher, speaks in its writings that the true initiate lives both in worlds; it cannot flee from his reality, and in her it has you compensate, like the love of a wife, the trips in airplane, and mainly the possibility of having access to the knowledge and experiences of other people through books.

Nevertheless, the life in the world of the power, and the magic, depends on which we maintain lives in us that magic, that we do not extinguish it, nor we are sold.

In the case of the Naguales, something that was repeated to me over and over again was that the suitable person would arrive at her moment, and that the true one would not be of the work. This I understood it immediately; the person who arrives at my life could not be of the world of the appearances, and the battlefield; because that is the work, a battlefield where they stay sharpened the senses.

The important thing is that the person who is with us, must arise from the times of peace, but not leave to us in the times military. In the personnel, something that I have always thought is that the person who arrives at our lives she must fulfill the oath that becomes in the catholic church.

But.... although of me the jealousy at the time of my training disappeared, I am sure that if (we hope that not) put the horns to me, it would clear to me of in the middle. I am not saying to leave the home, but if to put bunks instead of a single bed. It is difficult to explain this; when somebody demonstrates us that it is with which we despised (the scorn is a valid emotion in a warrior), he is automatic to despise the person. Memory a somewhat idiot example. In the times of faculty, a girl was a very near friend, perhaps my fiancee, if we can use that term. We left, we went to the cinema, to slide in ice, but a day, a companion of both who had three fiancees, requested aid to me. And I denied it. The result of that was that my near friend/girlfriend put itself of the side of the "multiboyfriender". That was the last time that we saw ourselves.

A phrase says will tell me with who you walk and I will say to you who you are. It is a good right. I it can understand everything, from a girl who smokes, to that likes one cotoots once in a while, but a woman that uses drugs, or lies, happens to be just like a man who did the same. A despicable being, excusing the expression, a being who no longer is human, and who not even serves like stock market of his own excrement.

We chose our friendships, but he does not have case of surrounding by people who know to us less than we " to astonish them with our wisdom ", nor by people who in the middle of a round of beers in the middle of a baptism celebration say " that amused we are ".

To be ruthless is not to be hypocritical.

Another clear example that memory is a woman of 30 years, director of the station of classic music of the city, that at the same time who between her friends was " the rich one ", with its family was " the cultured ", because it was but easy much to be " triunfadora " being conceited of cultured between the rich ones and rich between the cults. She is the same person who years after leaving that work, oía to the TRI in its short whiles of leisure...

Both let us see another case of life mistaken in worlds, and pardon to take them from my own life, but they are my datum points.

In 1988, months before being run over, it saw me in a strange situation. He was the natural leader of the school, had a handsome fiancee, two precious German sheepdogs, my own car. And this young person entered a school of high middle-class. And her mother began to think that nothing was the sufficiently good thing for its daughter. And something happened. I saw myself suddenly in the necessity to choose between two ways, the way of the hero, to live better, to enter the game and the world that was offered to me. And by the other, to do the unthinkable thing, to let see this person.

Then I took the Iching and I asked to him: That it demands my to have to me? And Hexagrama one with the fourth line left; that it says according to the version of Wilhem the following thing:

What happened in that occasion went that I let see that person, having decide between madness and the reason, madness to let see it, and the reason that she said deserves it. But I realized that could not continue seeing it at the same time and see me in the mirror.

In the film which I saw awhile ago, they mention it of a very simple way. Two worlds, a family. In the same introduction of the film I was crying. I confess it. I do not know if this means that I am single, or simply, that the message arrived to me.

The important thing is the people, not them circumstances.

In the true history of judge Samson, the one of the superhuman force, he house with a woman of the filisteos, and this deceives it and betrays with the riddle of the honey and the lion. During the time that lived in that house, Samson no longer was the hero of the Israelites, the judge of the tribe of Dan. It could not live in those two worlds.

But to the being the treason of its family, the person let be of its family. And the world of its family called he and it took it to the death, with his blow of Samson.

For that reason the selection of a wife or husband is so important, and for that reason the body is the one of less. He must be a person who understands that the family is first, in any world. Without the commitment the man would be single a beast, and is in the nature of the man to kill animals, and is in his nature giving a kiss.

There is time to embrace and time of not embracing, there are peace places and there are times of rest, but in anyone of those modalities or ways of the world, which matters is the person.

He does not matter who was your grandfathers, matters what will be your grandson. One of the contradictions that he had for me the Nagual Andrés was that it took in his portfolio a photo of a young person who could be his daughter. I asked to him for its family and it answered me that he had two children to whom did not want to return to see, and was widower. I asked to him for the young person of the photo, and it said to me that she was his wife in the times of his youth, when he was a young end in the army, at the beginning of his thirtys.

I asked to him that if she were a Nagual woman or something thus, and he answered to me that no, that she had been something but difficult to find, and but extraordinary: A good person, that she listened to his heart. He lived in one on the houses of the Nagual Rafael, from the death of his wife. He said that where wants that they were the finders of the truth, it was the place for a Nagual. Any other would not be it.

He was then when it explained to me that some times in the life we make a selection of which we are not conscious perhaps at its moment, that is what we are choosing. In my case the selection went to let see this girl.

It commented to me that nevertheless, the love is it everything, never. Because there is something is before.

At the same time which it spoke to me of the gift of the wolf (power without fault, love without a doubt), it told fragments me of his own training. I will try to reconstruct the fragments that that said to me little by little, and later I could reconstruct when I reviewed the personal papers of the Nagual Rafael to its death. Like always, any error is of my part and not of them.

< * * >

When the Nagual Andrés was trained, he was hiding in the mountain; since as a result of the revolution of my country, he lost the resources of his family. In those times it lived in the mountain range like an animal, dressing rags. Account occurred that was not the sufficiently strong thing to face the enemies of its family, which they shot to his mother and sisters, and extremely became a wild being.

Late, by the zone near the border, he found a single puppy of puma, near the rest of a dog. He had not eaten in several days anything of meat, so with a rudimentary bow, killed the puppy and took it. But in its stupidity account that the puppy had a mother or papa, and of return did not occur to the mountain range, this attacked he. Account occurred that did not have anything to lose and fought with all its forces, but puma opened the stomach to him and it tried to him to tear the neck. Then he was given to his death, and two shots saved he. They were cristeros that they looked for people like, hidden in the mountain range.

They took he with a healer who lived close, and Andrés, thinking that they wanted to him to clear his food, embraced to the puppy of puma with all its forces. Thus they left to the Nagual Federico it, same who forced he to return to be a man.

Years but late, one fell in love with Rosario, the daughter of one of the notables of the town, and she said to him that never they were going away to be able to marry, because his father would never let it marry with whom he did not have at least just like the dowry that she was going to contribute, who was extreme a quite respectable one.

So she said to him that they fled from the town, that would go with him, always. And he said to him that no. Because she could reproach it all her life to it, and with reason. So they reached an agreement. He would return in five years, with the money. And that would remember its word to him.

That night she was herself sad to her house, knowing that a woodcutter never would have the necessary money, and not understanding it. She had 22 years.

On the following day she went to look for it, and they said to him that he had gone away.

They spent five years.

Afternoon in which the five years were marked, it hoped in the seat of the town, with that dress that to as much it liked. She stopped a cart, that was what it was used like transport of passengers, but Andrés was not there.

A horse arrived, and anxious she was... and she was not.

When arriving it completes cart, she returned to her bank of the seat, and there it was Andrés. Seated with his clothes of work, the hands tanned by the sun, and she went to embrace it. She said to him... you remember what I promised five years ago? She said yes to him that. I come to remember your promise.

Then one of the aunts of Rosario approached, and it said to him to Andrés that that taste to see it. He called it and he said to him to the aunt that if they valued to Rosario in that sum, twice took the amount in that stock market, that threw on the feet of her.

Rosario, I fulfilled my promise. You come with me with nothing, or you remain here.

And they went on foot, without suitcases, nor nothing but that few bucks that took in their pocket.

For Always.

< * * >

Two worlds a family.