I have three chances now. First would be waking up in another realm, having someone welcoming me to heaven or hell. Judging by how I live my life, I might be in a limbo. Second would be waking up and finding a gorgeous nurse checking me up in a hospital somewhere. Or third, back in the damn motel, buried under ice cubes.
I opened my eyes and found no angels welcoming me. Nor were there any gorgeous nurse or found myself buried in ice. But the empowering smell of medicine that lingered around the room gave everything away. I am in the hospital, so I am alive. Which is good.
I wondered upon questions after questions. Who had found me? Whoever you are, you're my angel. Yes, even if you're one of those scary looking guys with tattoos and piercing. I have tattoos too and I pierce my ears, only that I have a much friendlier face than them. Can't discriminate people for what they look like now, can we?
Did my family decide to start dinner without me? They must have thought that I was lying. You know, messing with their heads again. They must have thought I'm being a total jerk. Mom would be so disappointed in me. Haven't I hurt her enough? I have to get someone to call her for me. Tell her that I didn't mean not to show up.
Oh man! The guys must be cursing me by now. "Typical Nick Carter not to show up in time for a meeting. He's always so irresponsible!" They would start saying. Always will be the young one no matter how old I get. Bad habits die hard, they would say. If only they knew...I would trade all these with a year of listening to them explaining to me the cause of Nsync's disappearance. I still don't see the importance of this.
I looked around the room. I was alone. Which I'm not sure is good or bad. I really need someone here with me. Someone I know. But being alone is good too. I know they'll just bug me with questions and saying stuffs like "Oh poor baby you!"
I heard footsteps entering the room and my body started to shake involuntarily. I know it couldn't be the asshole. I mean, this is a hospital. He wouldn't dare to just barge in, right? But that thought still didn't do anything to control the tremble I'm having.
"Oh great, you're awake!" No, he doesn't sound like the asshole at all. In fact, he sounded soft and loving. He approached my bed and studied me for a second. I studied him too. He's got long straight dark hair that was tied in half. Full rosy lips and big, green eyes. Oh, it's a she! Yeah! My angel...
"Do you know where you are right now?" She asked gently. Her hands now touching my wrist, checking heartbeat I guess.
"Hospital." Duh?
"Good." Yeah, here's a cookie.
"Do you know your name?" She asked again. Oh puh leez!
"Nick," I croaked. Great, real macho now Nick. "Carter."
"Great. Now, I know you're in pain but I want to know, do you need any assistance in breathing?" Assistance in breathing? Like you're gonna do a CPR on me? Yeah, sure, I have trouble breathing. Please help me.
"No, I'm breathing fine." Oh well, maybe next time when I'm feeling really horny that I don't care about humiliating myself. Besides, I'm still puzzled why she had asked me that in the first place. Should I be having trouble breathing? But why?
"I know you're still tired so I will tell you more about your condition once you've settled comfortably in here okay? I'll check on you again later."
"Wait. Could you please call my parents for me? They don't know that I'm here." Oh way to go Nick! You're 21 for God's sake! You're asking for a call to your PARENTS? Very independent of you.
"Well Mr. Carter, you do have quite a number of visitors waiting for you outside. Would like to see them?" Yes! Please!
"Who are they?" I have to ask.
"Your friends. The four Backstreet boys." She replied. She knew us? She knew who I am? Why did she ask for my name then?
"Please, let them in." She nodded her head and walked out. I was left all alone again. I closed my eyes and tried to shift my body a little. Huge mistake as always. The pain had started to resurface again. I think they had my back wrap in some kind of gauze or something. I think it's for the burn. My right side ached again. I cringed as I felt another pain soared.
I heard footsteps now. I opened my eyes and saw my brothers at the foot of my bed. I smiled, just to let them know that I'm okay. I don't think I was convincing enough though. They didn't move.
"Hey guys!" I whispered. I didn't mean to. It's just that my throat is still dry. I really need a drink. "You guys wanna get a little closer or just stand there?"
AJ smirked and moved in to my right. Howie came to my left while Brian stood next to AJ, his frowned never leaving his face. Kevin went next to Howie, his eyes never left me.
"Do I look that bad?" I asked again. They had to laugh. I smirked.
"Sorry Kid. How are you?" Howie asked.
"Been better ya know? But at least I'm still alive right?" I replied. They're not being themselves. I feel like I have a boiler growing on my nose or something.
"You're always stubborn." AJ joked. Ah, good old AJ. Could always count on him to make things seemed normal.
"AJ!" Kevin shot a look. Relax Kev, it's just a joke. I don't mind it at all.
"What? It's a joke! He needs it." AJ replied. Oh well, some things never change.
"Are you in pain Frack? You wanna see a doctor?" Brian asked. Man, he read me like a blueprint. I've been trying to hide the fact that my side was cutting my body from the inside and he could read it. Am I an open book?
"It's all pain right now guys. I won't lie about that. But I don't need a doctor Bri. I'm okay now." I replied. The guys nodded. Well, this is awkward.
"So, I guess I missed today's meeting huh? What's the deal?" I asked, hoping that will divert their attention. "Not that I'm interested in hearing stuffs about Nysnc."
"Dude, you have no idea do you?" Howie asked. What? I shook my head.
"They found you four days ago man. You just woke up from a four day long of sleep." AJ replied.
I did? Oh wow! Thank you eyes for waking up! Thank you for not shutting forever.
"I did? Oh wow." I replied.
"Your family was here together with Maira hours ago. They had to get back home to catch on their sleep. We promised them we would call if you wake up." Kevin replied.
"That reminds me that I have a phone call to make." Howie said as he excused himself and went out of the room. He's calling my family. Yeah!
I can't believe they have to meet Maira in this kind of a situation. How did she survive meeting my family like this? And what is she doing here? Shouldn't she be in France or something?
"Maira's here? I thought-"
"She called two days ago and we have to tell her everything coz she was asking me what I was doing answering your cellar." Brian explained. "She took the first flight home."
Oh man, I am really in love with this girl now. I can't believe she would do that for me. She must have scored big time with my mom by now. Which means, it saved me all the trouble of meeting them up. I can't handle that.
"Nick," Brian called me. Will he ever get that frown out of his face? "Do you know what happen to you?" Oh boy...what should I tell them?
Where do I begin really? Should I tell them that I was on my way out to my parents' house coz Nicky suddenly need some lovin' in his life? That'd make me sound pathetic wouldn't it? But then again, I've been out for four days, I'm sure the guys had been talking to them. They would have told them of their agony of waiting for me to come home and I never showed up. Then of how they received the call saying that their son was in hospital, bleeding to death. But I'm sure they left that last part out though.
So should I begin with the reflection on the kettle? How then he had rendered me helpless by his death lock? (Okay, way too much wrestling) and my desperate attempt at stamping his feet and ran away. I wonder what their reaction would be when I said he practically pour boiling water on my back? Love to see their expressions. It would be a classic. But that aren't grossy yet. Maybe I should just skip that part and begin when I found myself in that bathtub, buried in ice cubes. The state I was in then and my famous escape to freedom. Oh yeah, which reminds me of that discovery I made.
I wish I hadn't remember it. Just thinking about it made the pain throbbed even more. What had he done to me? What did I do to deserve this? There's something missing, I can feel it. How do I tell that to the guys?
"Nicky?" AJ asked. There's something in his voice that disturbed me. He sounded serious. That's not AJ.
"Nick, please tell us what's wrong. Say something!" Brian asked me in panicked. I looked at him and I thought I saw his eyes glistening, like as if he was about to cry. I felt my own visions blurred, clouded by my own tears. I wish I could tell them that I'm not ready to say anything yet. I wish they'd understand. I wish for someone to dry my tears coz I really can't see anything now. And why was I crying in the first place?
"Oh no!" I heard Kevin whimpered. Why? What's wrong? Everyone is talking in circles, I don't understand them. "I'm getting the doctor, he can't breath!"
Oh wow! Thanks for the newsflash Kev. Now that I registered that to my brain, I guess it's true. I am...having difficulties...breathing. Yeap, I could feel the irregular rise and fall of my chest and that sound that I made when I inhale. Sounds like I choke on something. Oh man, this is too much. I panicking right about now. And I should really stop crying, it ain't helping.
And I really, badly, need to breath now.
"Hold on Nick, help is on the way." Brian said. I felt his hand brushing my hair out of my face, wiping the tiny beads of perspiration on my forehead in the process. That helped to calm me down but I still can't breath. And since when had Brian moved to my left?
"What is taking them so long?" I heard AJ trembled. Oh man, I wish I could see his face right about now. I'd be happy if that's the last thing I see before I die. It would at least left a big smile on my face. AJ trembling? Hah!
But that didn't happen. I heard the doctor came in. Yes, the same gorgeous one. I can't see her but I heard her. "Relax Nick, I need you to take in deep breaths for me okay?"
Anything for you beautiful. I felt her strap the oxygen mask over my face (what else could it be right?) and I forced myself to take deep breaths. Difficult, I have to say. But I want to live, so not much choice there.
Air. I love air. Or Oxygen. They're the same right? Oh well, I felt myself breathing normally again. I feel so tired. That had been one hell of a workout. I should just sleep. The guys will understand right? I don't mean to leave them again. I really want to stay awake and tell everyone I'm okay, but obviously, I'm not. I'm tired. My whole body is in pain. I have to sleep. It's the only way I can stop this continuous, horrendous attacks on my body.
I promise I will wake up soon. I promise.