Brian gazed at the coarse, cold floor with disinterest. There weren't much that he could do when he was tied to a chair and his movements restricted. The kidnapper had took off the fold that had kept him from screaming since there was nothing for his to scream for anymore. He had even stopped his useless attempts at trying to get the knots to loosen up on his wrists. All his strength had drained away, leaving him lifeless.
He heard his kidnapper's movement just inches away from him, moving and setting things up. He had no idea what he was doing and was afraid to find out. That morning, he was given dried bread and a glass of water for breakfast and once he got all the food flushed down, his kidnapper had hit him in the abdomen, knocking the wind out of him. He didn't understand why, he had been co-operative with the man.
Gasping for breath, his entire body throbbed, pulsing with pain. But the man didn't stop there. He went for his face, and hit his left eye. His whole world spun around him and dizziness took over. The nauseous feeling creeping up his throat and finally forcing him to throw up.
"Smile Brian, you're gonna go solo today." He didn't understand what he was saying about. He saw him wearing the ski mask and his eyes caught sight of the camera standing a meter away from where he was.
The camera turned on, he approached him and let loose of the rope that had kept him bound. He shoved a piece of paper at him and demanded him to read it to the camera. He swallowed his saliva, tasting blood instead. His hands trembled as he gripped the paper and it took him a few seconds to stop the words from being jumbled up from his dizziness.
It hurts to open his swollen eyes but he knew he had no other choice. He looked straight at the camera and read the letter.
Nick,
As you can see, I am in pain. You have yet to proof anything to my kidnapper and because of that I am in pain. It's your fault. The clock is ticking, you have four days left by the time this tape reaches you. If you can't clear Darren's name, my death is inevitable and it's all because of you. I can't hold on much longer.
He had to stop reading, none of it were true. He couldn't let Nick feel that way for the kidnapping. He refused to read another line, his heart aching so bad just thinking of having to read it all. His kidnapper became tired of waiting and lunged straight at him.
He grabbed him from the back by his hair, his head next to his face, he could feel his raspy breathing. He raised his left hand up in the air, curled it into a fist and brought it down to his chest. He stifled a scream, the pain hurt so much but he didn't want Nick to hear his screams. Instead, he was focusing hard to breath.
"I know about his heart condition Nicky, and I will continue to torture him until you get the culprits to face the law. You don't want Brian to miss out on fatherhood now do you? It's a wonderful thing Nicky but I'm sure you don't know what's that all about. Four days Nicky, or he dies!"
"Nick, wake up…" Oh man, it's a dream! Brian, I have to get Brian!
"Bad dream?" I stared up into Howie's eyes. Why is he here? Oh yeah, we're sharing a room.
"Did I wake you up?" I asked.
"You were calling out Brian's name, so yeah, you woke me up."
"I dreamt of the tape D." Don't I get dehydrated or something? I keep on sweating buckets and I'm not even thirsty.
"I don't blame you." Two grown men, sitting up on bed, looking as if they are afraid of the dark or something.
I had expected that tape to be the one that this anonymous guy had threatened to sell to a TV station and not of Brian. It had been a relief to hear him on TRL. He sounded so good, not beaten up. But the tape had shown otherwise. He looked like crap. I couldn't even recognize him at first. He had him tied to the chair and he looked almost lifeless.
What he read on that piece of paper had definitely hit home to me. Yes, I bear all responsibilities. It's all my fault. Brian is in pain because of me. I have to do something.
KC was shocked as expected. I was expecting him to get on the phone to management right away but instead, he sat down and think about it over and over again. We talked as a group and we explained the reasons why we have to keep the management out and he agreed to keep it under wrap for now.
Leighanne didn't see the tape, thank God. She was asleep in her room when we got back we all agreed that in her condition, it's best not to show it to her. Sarah said she had been crying non stop when she heard Brian's voice on TRL. Well, who doesn't right?
"Nick?"
"Yeah?"
"What were you doing in that surgical room yesterday?" Yesterday? What time is it now? Great, three in the morning. I have three days left!
"I've been having this recurring dreams… sort of like flashbacks…I have to check something out." Should I tell him everything? Will he think I'm crazy?
"I'm guessing Justin had the same dreams too?" That's cool D. You can really read people's mind, can't you? It's not just some BSB comic strips?
"Yeah."
"You know Nick, we might not be able to understand everything that you're going through, but we can help you know. It's our responsibility too to get Brian back." Not really D. It's me who got him into this mess.
"And please don't believe what that bastard forced Brian to say in that tape. It's not true. You know Brian wouldn't say those things."
"I know…D, I think we may have a lead on who is behind all this stealing kidney syndicate." I think.
"Oh yeah? So the sneaking around helps?"
"Yeah…the woman you were asking for direction, she's the one who cut me open." If you think Howie's eyes are big, you should have seen it then, it's huge.
"Oh God! Nick! Are you going to tell the police this?" I'm not sure D.
"I don't know…I mean, when Justin saw her, he was practically shaking all over. From where we were standing, she did resembles the woman I've been dreaming about. And their conversation did sound suspicious." I hope you understand what I'm trying to tell you coz I'm rather confused myself.
"So…you're trying to say that some part of you, you're still unsure if she's the one?" Howie's a genius, have I told you that?
"Yeah."
"So don't say anything until you're sure."
"But…Justin saw her cut him open, he was awake so his memory serves him better than mine. You should have seen him D, he was really out of it. Everything seems to point at her, she was talking about someone getting suspicious over something and that she's the one who signed the authorization forms for stuffs that got out of that room. It just seems fit together." Don't you think so? Please say you do, coz then we can get to the police and start questioning her and then Brian will be free.
"I think you need to talk it over with Justin one more time. Make sure you get all your facts right and then make a decision." Okay, that's assuring enough.
"Thanks D. I will talk to him tomorrow."
"This is something big you've just found out Nick, I'm proud of you." Really?
"I hope I'm not making a mistake."
"I hope so too. And Nick,"
"Yeah?"
"We will get Brian back, alive."
*****
The cold shower really did wonders for me. I feel so much refresh now that I'm not sticky with my sweat. Other than the thoughts of Brian constantly bugging me, I feel really good. No pain, no discomforts. I looked at myself on the bathroom mirror, the dark circles around my eyes are still there and yes I looked like a walking corpse but I feel good. Justin is coming over today and he sounds fine to me over the phone. If we do get this all right, Brian is coming home in no time.
"Nick? You in there?" Ah, just the person I'm looking for.
"Yeah." I replied, opening the door for her. "Come in, I'm about done."
"Oh shoot, I thought we could shower together." Eh?
"You know…I could use another shower." I'm in a good mood, what can I say?
"Too late. Actually, I've already took my shower." She grinned.
"Yeah well, you still stinks, go get another one."
"You're a very mean boyfriend." She pouted. I love it when she does that.
"Come here baby, I miss you so much." It feels so good to have her in my arms again. To have her hands on my bare skin, to taste the sweetness of her lips. To feel the heat of her body warming me. I could get lost in this moment forever.
"I miss you too." She whispered as our lips met again. Can I be like this forever? Can the time just stop and let us drown in this together? Can we not get out of the bathroom?
She really loves me.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I have pulled her away from me. I wish I could tell her but I can't. I hate it when this happens.
"You're scaring me, what's wrong honey?" I need the toilet bowl. No, too far away. Sink will do right?
I just feel nauseous, no biggy. Throw up some food I had last night and then I'll brush my teeth and we can continue. The heaving part was the most difficult. I just realize I hadn't eat anything last night. I was too upset over the tape that I went straight to bed and tried my damnest to sleep on it. But that didn't stop me from throwing up.
"Oh Nick…baby, what's wrong?" I don't know. I just threw up blood.
Red. Blood. Like a whole lot of it.
Pain. The pain is back and I really need to sit down. "Maira,"
"What is it baby?"
"I need to sit down, this bathroom is spinning…" Just my luck this bathroom has got no chair. I guess the floor will do it. I felt her arms supporting my weight and soon, I was on the floor. Her hand rubbing my back, always work in calming me down.
"Feel any better?" I'm not sure. "Wait for me, I'll get your pills." She left before I get to tell her not to.
What's the point right? I know the pills won't work. Damn it, I really need to throw up. Getting up is out of the question, I could just throw up here right? But Kevin will find out. Besides, these tiles are just too beautiful to stain.
Maira came back shortly after with the bottles of pills in hand. She had lock the bathroom door just in case someone found me like this. She knew I'd hate that to happen.
"Help me up, I need to throw up." She discarded the bottles immediately on the table next to the sink and helped me up. We were in time, I threw up again right after. And again, it's nothing but blood. Sprayed in the sink, changing the pure white ceramic to red. It's getting worse, I realize that now. Time is against me, I have to get all this done not within 3 days but with how much longer my body could take it. I have a feeling it's gonna be a lot less than three days.
"Feel much better now?" I wish it's that simple.
"Yeah. Can you get my shirt and boxers over there?" I stared at the reflection that was staring back at me. I look like shit. Who am I kidding? I'm like dead man walking.
"Here." I took the shirt and pull it over my head and wore the boxers. I surprised myself I could get it all done without her help. I wrap the towel around my waist again, just in case I bump into any of the girls out there and with Maira opening the door for me, we walked out.
Maira understood me very well. She didn't offer to help me walk back to my room, she knew I don't want to raise any questions about my health. We were only half way back to the room when Kevin called.
"Nick, Justin and gang are here." Already?
"I'll be in a few."
"Are you okay Nick? You look sick." I know.
"Tired, that's all."
*****
I can't believe it. The whole freaking Nsync are in the house. What is this? Visit Nick week? Seeing the guys and Sarah and Kristin mingling with them seems foreign to me. I know we're not really enemies but we're not really close either. Justin looks healthy, I think he heed my advice. Good for him.
The basic greet and small talks occurred and that went pretty well. I swear Joey was hitting on Maira but then again, he hit on every girl he sees. He's like AJ. Justin excused himself and asked if he could talk to me alone. We went to the kitchen and discuss the whole matter through.
"I think we should ask Ashley to see her too. It'll just make our stand more credible." I explained.
"Whatever man. I know it's her." Justin had said. He remembered their conversation very well, it's like he was repeating word by word. I can't believe he could even do that considering how worked up he had been when he saw her.
"Okay then, I'll call Marlon."
We went back to the living room where the rest of them were and I can't help noticing how Maira had stuck with Joey. Should I rescue her? Nah, let's have fun first.
"We're gonna do this. We're calling Marlon." I announced.
"You have our support." JC replied.
"Yeah man, whatever you feel is right." AJ said. I nodded my head and dialed his number.
*****
"Are you ready for this?" I heard Justin asked Ashley as we walked into the FBI room.
"I guess so." Ashley had been the luckiest. He was in the pink of health. Not a slight problem physically. Emotionally, who knows right?
"Hey, think of it this way, after all this, we can finally set our mind at ease." I offered. Except for me though. I gonna have to start worrying about my funeral. I'd like to choose my own coffin.
"Yeah." Ashley replied, offering a smile. He reminds me a bit of Darren Wight. Something about those flushed cheeks I think. I remembered Darren always spotting blushed cheeks on all his photos.
"Okay gentlemen, if you're ready, we'll call the line up in." Marlon announced. We nodded. He pushed a button and called the line up in from the mike. Seconds later, five red haired, green eyed women took the line from the next room. I thought I heard Ashley gasped. Justin was fidgeting. I'm still not sure. They all look the same.
"Number five." Ashley said suddenly.
"Son, I need to call each suspect out and then you inspect them carefully." Marlon explained.
"No. It's number five, can I go now?" Ashley asked, almost in tears.
"Same goes to me. Number five." Justin stammered, refusing to look at the suspect again. Oh well, number five look the most similar to that woman we saw in the room that day.
"Number five." I said.
"Okay then, thanks for your help gentlemen. You may go now." I hope I have made the right decision.
*****
I went back home, somewhat lightheaded. Could be from the headache or simply because now I have one less thing to worry about. Now that they have her detained, they could easily get more information out of her. I don't think she'll let herself go down alone and not drag the whole team together with her.
I'm developing a mild fever but I don't think it's necessary to alarm everyone. Maira is already like my third eye after what happened in the bathroom. Everywhere I turn, I could see her not far away.
Great, KC's here. Did I tell you that KC is always the bearer of bad news?
"What is it this time Kase?" I sighed as I stepped in to Kevin's living room once again.
"Good news or bad news first?" Oh, we have good news? Great!
"Good."
"We managed to get hold of the bastard who threatened to sell the tape to the TV." Cool.
"Great. Bad news?"
"That one, you'll have to watch this." I joined the others in front of the TV. Leighanne was there too and she was looking at me with this sympathetic look on her face. What else could be getting worst?
"We received an anonymous call this morning, revealing something very ugly that Hollywood had successfully kept a secret from the world for almost a year now. Almost a year ago, the Hollywood industry was shocked when a male actor in his early 20s were reported missing and found buried in a bathtub filled with ice in a motel near where he was staying. He was barely alive and was found with a fresh scar that was about fifteen inches long on his right ribs. Upon check up, doctors confirmed that he had lost a kidney. A few months later, the same fate befell another fellow male actor. This was followed by another actor and then a few weeks later, the first music artist was found the same way. We believed that the number of victims had so far raised a total of eight. It was said that this syndicate was masterminded by a doctor considering that it needs someone who is a medical expert to perform the operation. It is also rumored that their kidneys were bought by fanatic fans of the artists. This fans will then undergo a kidney transplant, to replace their healthy kidney with their idols. Their own kidney would be transplanted over to the artists. It was believed that some of this artists rejected the kidneys and are now living with only a kidney. There are also rumors that some of these artists includes Darren Wight, who was reported dead in an accident. Also among the lists of artists linked to fall victim is Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys. Following the recent news of Nick Carter being sick and found stab in a carpark near a rehab center might have some truth after all…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
They mentioned my name...oh shit...this is not good. Why me?
The telephone rang and I jumped at the sound involuntarily. Oh man, someone's jumpy today.
"It's okay baby, just the phone."Maira whispered.
"I'll get it."AJ replied and got up from his seat.
"Bet it's some reporters."Kevin muttered.
"Nick, it's for you."AJ said, shoving the receiver at me.
"He can't take calls right now J. Can't you take a message?"Sarah pointed out.
"I know. But...this guy said he's got Brian."What! I looked over at Leighanne, she looked so lost. Her eyes were glistening and her lips were quivering. Kristin went over and showered her with comforting words. I tore my eyes away from her and took the receiver.
"It's Nick."
"I watch the news on TV."
"You're a very well informed man."
"Everything is out in the open now Nick."
"Not exactly."
"Oh yeah?"
"You kidnapped Brian, they don't know that."
"And when they finally find out, it's about finding Brian's dead body lying somewhere."
"Fuck you."
"Well Nick, have you ever ask yourself how they got the hang of this story?"
"You told them?"
"You're a smart boy. Yes, I did."
"Why?"
"Because you didn't deliver Nick. And you have three days left."
"I have a suspect arrested in jail right now you moron. She's gonna spill and everything will be solved. But you can't wait now, can you? You have to tell everything and ruin our lives!"
"Your lives? How about Darren? He died and people are saying that he was too drunk to drive and killed himself. A spoilt, teenage rebel they call him. How does that make me feel huh? You have no idea! You're still alive boy, but he died! He died because you escaped! Don't think I don't know that!"
Breathe Nickolas, breathe!
"I will get the killer and everyone else whose hands are dirty in this, I promise. Just don't do anything to him."
"I would have hated that too. He's gonna be a father, I know, and it's a beautiful feeling to have a son. I understand. But that's not gonna stop me from killing him if you didn't get anything out in 3 days. It all depends on you Nick. Don't waste your time."
Click.
End of conversation.
Just like that.
"Fuck!"If this is my phone, it would have been dysfunctional right now.
*You don't want Brian to miss out on fatherhood now do you? It's a wonderful thing Nicky but I'm sure you don't know what's that all about.*
"Kevin,"I hope I can still think straight. Headaches, the pain, the guilt, I am not at ease.
"What is it Nick?"
"It's Darren's father. He has Brian."
"Are you sure? I mean, how do you know?"
"Nick, please tell me Brian's okay."
"He's gonna be Leigh."
"Kev, call Marlon, I'm sure Nick has his reasons to suspect him."Thanks D.
"How did you know Kaos?"AJ asked. Wish I could tell you but I am in so much pain right now bro.
*He's gonna be a father, I know, and it's a beautiful feeling to have a son.* How did he know Brian's baby gonna be a boy? Unless he's very attached to having a son too. It all falls at the right spot right?
*****
My fever had gone too high up that the guys convinced me that it's time I pay Dr. Irwin a visit. I agreed just so they could get off my case. They promised that Marlon and Cameron are on their way to get Brian.
It was hard to convince them at first. And when they finally agreed, we have to wait for a few more hours before a warrant was finally issued out to raid his house. KC had issued a statement denying all rumors about the Kidney stuffs. That had the fans cool down for now. The police had stepped in and took over control of the TV station that had release the news to the public. For now, we're all denying it. I know it's against our beliefs to lie to fans but this is no longer about me.
This is about the lives of many other people. When I personally, really don't mind telling the fans that I am indeed living with a kidney that's failing and dying, some artists wish to remain anonymous. I understand their plight. I mean, after all is said and done, they're the one carrying the burden twenty four seven. People will look at them differently and the emotional distraught that they are facing right now won't get any lighter. For me, I don't have to deal with it all coz I'm gonna be dead by then. Some people just have the...luck?
"Are they there yet?"
"They're on their way Nick, relax."Howie said.
"But that's what you said the last time."I protested.
"Which was a minute ago."AJ reminded me. Okay, my fault.
Kevin had gone to the raid together with Mark and Josh. At least Brian is gonna find a familiar face when they rescue him.
"I don't feel so good."What's taking Dr. Irwin so long?
"That's why we're in the hospital, see?"I could kill AJ right now.
"Quit it AJ. Hold on, I'll try the nurse again."Try the nurse again? What kind of a language is Howie using nowadays? Too much porno, sie?
"Can someone please make this place stop spinning?"I'm almost desirous, please forgive me.
"I would love to help but I can't reach the ceiling."AJ said. I giggled. He joint in. Not a good thing to do when you're having the headaches but it's funny. I mean, I'm not gonna be able to laugh at his jokes for long. I'm gonna miss this guy.
"Your fever is really going up, are you sure you're cold? You're burning."He touched my forehead and normally, I would have hated it. It made me feel so small, like a child, but right now, I love the touch of his hand on my forehead. It shows that he cared. It shows that I'm loved.
"Yes I'm cold J. I don't shiver out of nothing."He smirked.
"You don't seem to be getting any better Nick, are you sure you're not hiding anything away from us?"Please don't ask me this, it's only gonna make me lie to you and I hate lying to you!
"I don't think the pills are working."Well, that's not exactly lying right? I mean, the pills are really useless, so basically, it's the truth.
"Then you have to tell Dr. Irwin that. Maybe he could get you more stronger medications."Morphine would be nice. At least then I don't have to feel the pain.
"I will."
I saw Howie appeared again with a female doctor. Yes, the same doctor who had taken care of me when I was first brought in to the hospital. She's back. Well, at least she's much more interesting to look at than Dr. Irwin.
"Damn your lucky star is smiling on you Nick."I heard AJ whispered. I replied a simple ‘I know' and we got up to approach her.
"Nick, nice to see you again. But I'm not happy that you're sick."We shake hands and I studied the doctor again. I've never really know her name. Never did find out and I should be thanking her for taking care of me all those time. I'm a typical guy aren't I? I remembered checking her out the first time I saw her. Red hair and green eyes and that beautiful smile. I tried to find her name tag but she wasn't wearing one. Then I saw the necklace hung around her neck. She had one of those gold pendants that spelt out their names.
My body started to convulse. I backed away. Thoughts swarming in my mind, I had a difficult time trying to understand it all. The icy fear I hoped was gone now gripped my heart again. Is my body shutting down? Is this it? This is how I'm gonna die? But I haven't see Brian yet. I have to see him. What is it that my mind wants me to think about?
*shiny and gold...shiny and gold...* Her name is Amanda.
Shit! I remembered!