~ Flashback ~
I woke up to find myself slumped at the backseat of my own Durango. He was at the back of the wheels, ready to drive through the main gate and out of my pad. I have to give credit to him for using my car, less suspicious you know? I wish I could have done something, like lunged out of the car and try to escape, I mean, isn't that what the heroes always do in the movies? Oh yeah, I guess I'm not the hero huh? That'd explain a lot.
Now, is it asking too much that I'd be allowed to loose consciousness a little longer? I mean, we haven't even got out of my pad and I'm already coming into in the car. Don't the victim always woke up when everything is over and done with? When everything is too late? Not only am I rendered helpless at my current situation, the scalds that are now burning my back are hurting me and as if that is not enough, I'm lying on my back so having the scalded area rubbing against leather surface of the seat just makes it more…unbearable.
We are out of my compound and on to the main road. I stared up right, watching the little movie of stars passing by from what little view I could get lying on my back and looking out the window. My stomach hurts, obviously from the blow the asshole had given me earlier and the burning sensation that hurts like a bitch. Where is he taking me? And why did he say I have something 'in' me that he wants? Is this for real? I'm being kidnapped? And my kidnapper has a high probability of being a fag? Is he gonna rape me?
Okay, trying to force myself to get up is a bad idea. It only encouraged a whole new batch of pain. And I can't afford to let the bastard know that I'm awake. He's been driving for quite sometime now and I curse the whole damn neighbourhood for being too quiet! Now if there is at least a car that would stop next to us at a traffic light, I would have given my all to get up and scream for help. But Tampa had to be so damn quiet tonight. Where have all the fans gone to when I need them?
Pain, pain, go away, come again another lifetime…oh man, stay awake Nick, you can't afford to drift off again. Remember the roads…find some distinguishing signs…whatever…just don't sleep again! Hey, even if I do, it ain't my fault, touring gets the better of you and did I tell you how much I'm in pain right now? Yes, I am!
Have you ever felt total helplessness before? Like your only last chance of help was standing right in front you but somehow, through the sick twisted sense of fate, missed it? Well, the asshole just drive past my parents' house, the house I grew up in. There are people in there, my family, all of them waiting for me to come home for dinner like the old times and I promised Angel I'd come!
Too late now. We had left the house behind and he is still driving further down the road in the dark night. But I don't really give a damn. My thoughts are on my family, wishing I could scream and ask them for help or push myself up and jump out of the car and rush back into the house. I wish on a lot of things, (having me lying down at the backseat of a car and in pain gives me lots of free time to think…thank God the brain still works!) and one of them is to hope that all these had just been a bad dream.
Wake up Nick!
Oh wait, if I wanna wake up from a dream (no matter a bad one or a good one), I should be asleep too and right now, my eyes are opened so that means I have to close them. Okay, I'll go back to sleep.
When I wake up, this will be a bad dream.
~~~~~~~~~~~
So much for waking up from a bad dream, I'm still in it! We're in a motel somewhere, I think. How he got me all the way in here without raising any suspicions got me. He must be real slick at this!
This bed stinks like my soaked socks! I wonder what the previous tenant had done in here…the asshole is talking to someone by the door. Should I look? What if he saw me waking up? I shouldn't be eavesdropping on their conversation now right? Will he kill me if I do? Argh! What the hell, he's done enough damage, I don't care anymore.
"You never see him and I was never here, geddit?" He shoved a stack of money to the guy standing at the door, he's got tattoos all over him man! I thought it was AJ for a second there! So, he's not that slick after all, just loaded with cash that let him buy off anyone who gets in the way. I think that man is the manager here or something. Who cares right? I'm in a lot of pain and wondering about who the hell he is isn't in my agenda for tonight.
I saw the man backed away and he closed the door, so I did the only thing I could, I pretended to sleep again.
I heard his heavy footsteps walked pass the bed and then stopped. The bed creaked noisily and I realized that he had climbed up next to me! Oh no, is this for real? He's gonna rape me in this cheap motel? I'm just downright insulted! Oh shit! He's grabbing for my shirt and pulling it off my head. I'm topless and the damn room is cold. Should I wake up and give a fight?
Oh wait, he's pulling my hand up. What is he- oh, he handcuffed my right hand to the bedpost! Okay, that'd rule out fighting back. I'm gonna loose and end up ten thousand times worst than I already am. Why did I pick ten thousand? Why not a million? Okay, I think it's got something to do with ten thousand promises or something. I know, I'm weird. I shouldn't be thinking about all these right now should I?
Crap it! He's going for my pants! Now if my kidnapper is a lady, I really don't mind. No wait, I would have mind coz I have a girlfriend if I want a fuck, no, if I want to make love, (that's better), but at least, being rape by a woman would be less…disturbing? Emotionally it would be terrible but physically, I know what's gonna happen right? But being raped by a guy…I just don't get the 'position'.
What am I thinking? Focus Nick!
Focus on what? How he is now pulling my pants down to my ankle? Or how I hear a soft thud as he threw my pants on the floor? How is that suppose to make anything better? Wait! He just dragged out of bed! And he's walking away! He's not gonna rape me? What? Did my body turn him off? My body's mighty fine man! What's wrong? I'm insulted yet again!
Nickolas, you're a dumb ass! He's not raping you, be grateful!
I got sidetracked again, didn't I?
Oh no, what now? Someone just knock on the door. To think that he has an accomplice who is damn polite.
"Did you get him?" Hey, it's a woman!
"Of course I got him! You think I'd fucked up again?" Fuck who? Now, I'm nervous!
"Why is he chained up like that? The boy give you a fight?" Wait, there're three of them in the room! There's another guy! What is this? A party?
"Precautions." My kidnapper said briefly.
"Let's get this over and done with. I'm setting the stuffs, you give him the jab." The woman ordered. What jab? Like an injection?
Ooooww!! Okay, now I HAVE to wake up!
"Hey, nice for you to join us!" The two guys are wearing ski masks, very original.
"What did you give me?" I sound freaked out. Now they know I'm scared. Damn it!
"Something for the pain Nicky, something you'd appreciate eventually." Who said that? I can't see the lips moving when you're looking like spiderman.
"He's up? Come on, let's get this going." The woman said. Hey, I never saw that just now. They have something that look like a table in the middle of the room. Like a gurney except that the surface is hard cold metal. And they have all these machines…it's like being in a hospital. What's going on? The woman even had a mask covering half of her face, like a doctor about to operate on someone.
Hold up! Did they just give me anesthesia? For what?
One of them was taking off the handcuff and quickly dragged me to the table. I can still feel my limbs but it's fading real fast now. I feel so naked.
"What are you doing?" I heard myself asked.
"The question here Nick, is what are we going to do to you." The woman said. I bet she's smiling under that mask.
"Okay, what are you going to do to me?" I asked. Seriously, I need to know! They effortlessly laid me on the table and once again, my scalded back screamed out in pain coz it's damn cold.
"Just go to sleep Nick, it's better that way." The woman said. I don't understand her. She's pretty. Brunette, almost red for a hair. Too bad she tied it all up, I bet she looks sexy to wear it down, those big curls rubbing against her neck and shoulder…and that green eyes. What is she doing with these bastards?
"I don't want to sleep! You let me go or I'll scream!" Yeah, like a wuss.
"You're not going anywhere Nicky so just stay still alright?" The woman said, she had a knife on her hand now. Shit. What is this? Some lunatic wanna open me up? For what? See what Nicky had for lunch? What?
"Please, I won't tell anyone about this if you let me go!" If this don't work, nothing will.
"Don't talk Nick." She's bringing that sharp looking thing down on me now! Oh God, please, tell me this isn't happening! I just wanna have dinner with my family, is that too much to ask?
Oh Lord…she's cutting me open.
Focus on something Nick, no not the pain you idiot! Something else…focus…
Yes, gold…something gold out there. What is that? I'm getting blurry now. I think the med is working. No wait, it's bright again! Okay, gold…ah, her necklace. Nice necklace. I think it's her name or something. I don't really know…no wait…yes, I can see it…Amanda…eeww! Adds to the pain if you know what I mean! Why do Amandas always wanna hurt me? Damn it all to hell! Do what you want to me, I give up!
But I will remember Amanda. By God, I will remember you and what you're doing to me if that's the last thing I do!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Nick, are you alright?"
I remember you! I remember her! I don't care what Justin and Ashley said, but the woman they have in custody is not the one who did this to me. She's still free and standing right in front me! All this time, I let her touch me and nurse me back to health when she's the one who stole what's mine!
"Nick, it's alright. We're going to make you feel better."
To hell you would! I'm not letting you touch me again. Ever! Why didn't I remember this sooner? How could I even forget? I'm going to die because of what she did to me! How could someone like her be a doctor?
"Nick, come on. The sooner you get checked, the faster we get to see Brian. You want that don't you?" Howie asked. He's grabbing my hand and I think they want me to get into the examination room. No way in hell am I gonna let that happen!
"Are you afraid of something bro? Is that why you're trembling so much?" Yes AJ, I am! Thank you Lord you let the weird one see the truth!
"I…I don't want this…" Okay, that's not so hard to say right? Shit, how am I suppose to get out of this mess? I have to tell the police! They're holding up the wrong person!
"Of course you do bro. You're sick remember? She's gonna make you feel better." Please Howie, I know your intentions are nothing but good, but I can't be with her. She's gonna kill me!
"Please…don't let me do this…I wanna go home…" The bitch is looking at me and I can tell that she knew that I knew.
"He's just nervous, I'll get something to soothe him down a bit." Yeah right, Amanda. It ain't gonna work.
"No! I don't want anything alright! I want to go home!" I sound like a spoilt child. But who cares right? She's gonna jab me and God knows what it is that she's gonna poison me with.
"Nick, come on. Why are you like this?" AJ, please, I can see it in your eyes that you don't trust this woman, let me go!
"It's the fever, it's making him feel delirious a little bit. I will get something to calm him down. Why don't you let him sit down at the sofa again?"
"Thanks." No! Don't thank her Howie! She's my killer!
"Okay Nick, let's hear it. Wassup with you?"
I looked at AJ, he is truly scared. I can't help myself if I'm trembling this much. I just saw my soon to be killer!
"Calm down, no one's here but us. Talk." Thanks man, holding my hand like that to stop me from trembling…that's very thoughtful. Although it just cut down my age in half.
"That woman we identified…we…I…I got the wrong person. I…she's not the one who did this to me…she…"
"What? Are you sure Nick? Is that why you're trembling so much? You remembered something?" Yes Howie, I did! Took me forever but I did!
"Something scares you just now, what's wrong? You have to stop crying so you can tell us. Come on Frack, help us understand." I will AJ, I will.
"It's her…Amanda…she's the one…she did this to me…"
"Dude, Mandy, Manduh, Willa or whoever she call herself these days are not the one who did this to you. I mean, yeah she screams and shout like a bitch but-"
"Will you shut up? Damn AJ, you can be dumb when you want to, like right now." Howie cut in. Jeez, Howie's mad.
"It's Amanda the doctor. Or were you too busy checking her statistics that you didn't see her name tag?" Ouch! That really hits the bull's eye bro!
"What? That woman did this to you? And you…you just found out? What…what are we gonna do now? And I don't appreciate the sarcasm D!"
"I wanna get out! Take me home, please!"
"No. We can't. She just excused herself, for all we know, she might be on the phone calling her gang to ram our car when we get out of here. If we stay in this place, she can't lay a finger." Howie said.
"Good point. But she's gonna give Nick something and it might be poison for all we know." Good point AJ.
"We can prevent that from happening. J, you take Nick to the restroom and call Marlon ASAP. I will distract her. And don't come out until I call your cell. Geddit?"
"Got it! Come on Frack, let's get out of here." My pleasure!
"D, take care alright? You're still not a hundred percent fit yourself." Howie just winked at me and I left. The end is near, I can feel it. Brian's gonna be alright. They get the right culprit. And I feel like shit multiplied by a million.
~~~~~~~~~
AJ decided that we go to the restroom on the second floor where the place is like a maze and loaded with people so the risk of getting caught is less. I have no time to be arguing or protesting the fact that climbing up the stairs did not go well with my stomach or the headache. We could use the lift but it was on the other side, the side where Amada my killer doctor was last seen. We couldn't take the risk of bumping into her now could we?
Thank God the restroom is huge and clean and empty. AJ made me sit down on a rather comfortable bench at the far corner of the restroom and bolted the main door shut. I couldn't stop trembling, maybe it's the aircon or maybe it's just me being sick. Or scared. I watched him dialed the digits on his cell phone and started pacing up and down the room while he waited for an answer.
"It's AJ, did you get Brian?" The million dollar question. Now he got my attention. Please, say yes.
"You did? How is he?" Oh Thank you Lord! Brian's fine. He's gonna be alright!
"Great. Listen we've something for you. That woman you got hold up is not the one. Nick remembered and it's Dr. Amanda Lewis, the one who took care of him in the first place."
He went quiet on me. What's wrong? Don't they believe me? I might have the fever and all but I'm telling the truth!
"We're not going out coz they might be waiting for us. I have Nick hold up in the restroom on the second floor. Howie's still down at the E.R. You have to come down now."
Did they buy it? Did they believe me?
"Okay, thanks. We'll be here." AJ end the conversation and started dialing another number. Thank you AJ for not letting me in on your little intentions. The least you could do is tell me who you're gonna call.
"Hey, Brian with you? Yeah? How is he? Great. Hey, Nick remembered something. That Doctor Amanda Lewis, she's the one behind all these. I know, it's crazy. Yeah, he's coming down now. Listen, can Brian talk right now? Ya sure? Okay hold on a sec."
Can I just tell you that I don't understand a single damn thing he just said? Maybe it's me being blonde but I have a feeling it's because of my situation right now. You see, while my brother here was busy chatting away with God knows who, that damn fucking painful sensation had made a huge come back and it's killing me. Okay, I know I'm gonna die, but please, not in the damn restroom! Give me some dignity at least?
"Nick, you okay man?" What does it look like? But hey, was I ever one to complain I'm sick when I'm sick? No. So I just nodded like before.
"Okay then, maybe this will cheer you up. Brian's on the line, he wanna talk to you." My eyes lit up, for a moment, I forgot about the pain. Brian's on the line? For real? I grabbed the phone with my free hand while the other is still holding on to my stomach, like as if I don't, my intestines are gonna fall off. I swear to God, I do funny stuffs when I'm in pain.
"Brian?"
*Hey, Nicky, I miss you buddy!* He's alright!
"It's really you huh? Did he hurt you bro?"
*I'm okay Nick, just some bruises and a little tired. Hey, I'm proud of you. After today, we're gonna be alright again.*
How do I tell him that I'm gonna die? Hmm, maybe I don't even have to tell him.
"Me too bro… It's been too long… I'm just glad that-"
*Nick, why do you keep stalling like that? You don't sound so good. Are you okay bro?*
"Nick, are you alright? You don't look so good."
*Nick, put AJ on the phone, you need help! Your breathing is too heavy!*
"Nick, what's wrong bro? Come on, give me the phone, you need to take a breathe!"
*Frack, listen to me. Give the phone to AJ, you need help you hear me! Come on Nick, don't do this to me! Give AJ the damn phone!*
You know, if they give me some time to get over the pain, maybe I could move and give the damn phone to AJ! And while we're at the subject, AJ could just grab the damn phone off my hand, it's not like it's gonna be a first for him!
"Yeah…something's wrong with him I don't know what to do! I can't go out, they might be out there!…hold on, he just collapse on me!"
I just need to lie down on this bench AJ, don't exaggerate your stories!
"Hello! He's fading out on me man! What should I do? Give me something! You have to call Howie or the Detectives! They have to come now!…tell Kevin to hurry up, I'm loosing him man! I'm loosing him!…"
AJ keeps going on and on and on…I can't even listen to him anymore, it hurts my eardrums. But hey, the ever familiar darkness is coming to get me again, that's good right? I don't have to bear with this pain any longer. And AJ will be alright. He's got Brian for company. He's not gonna be so lonely if I left him.