Two days had gone by after that 'attack' in my hospital room. Lucky for me I had managed to press the emergency button before I went 'mental' and they had found me in time. The last thing I remembered seeing was a nurse checking my I.V and quickly pulling the needle off my arm.
I woke up the next morning feeling totally drained. I couldn't even get myself to talk. There were questions swimming around in my heavy laden head but I just couldn't find my voice. I noticed the security in my room had tightened and never once, when I was conscious enough to be observance, was I ever left alone. Voices kept buzzing in and out and shadows of people I recognized kept lingering somewhere in the spacious room.
It was on the second day-today- that I found the strength to hold a conversation. The two detectives had came for a visit again after so long. Cameron told me that I was given an overdose of heroin. I told him finally one of my rumors came true. He couldn't find it in him to admit that it was funny and I seriously thought that he needed to take a chill pill pronto.
However, knowing me, the guy who had miraculously survived so much torment in this body, I was told that I was out of danger. The officer guarding my room said that the 'nurse' who had given me that injection had shown all the clear passes to him before entering and this had led the detectives to suspect that it was an inside job.
Kevin (yes, shot leg and all) had questioned why I wasn't moved to another hospital where I would be much safer and they had told us that it would only made 'whoever the fucking insider is' suspicious and it might just blow the detectives' plan. I wasn't even going to ask what their plan were. So far, their plans sucked.
I was also told that there were two other men on that day when we were held 'hostage' in the restroom and one of them had been responsible for shooting Kevin's leg. They had four bad guys (my kidnapper included) and none had spill. How sad is that?
After I had given my statement, they left. Always glad to be of service detectives. Once you get what you want, you leave. It's like a relationship gone bad.
Dr. Irwin came in after that and the guys were asked to wait outside while he did the check ups. He told me that I had to go through dialysis since my kidney was not strong enough and with my blood contaminated with the drug, I had to stick to dialysis for a rather long time. He told me my lifestyle will have to change. I can't be too hyped, which in my opinion will be hard not to; I have to watch my diet very carefully and I can't overwork myself. If anyone knows the truth of how the Backstreet Boys live 365 days a year, they knew that I can't meet the demands this doctor asked of me.
"We will have the first dialysis this afternoon, if you're not running a temperature." He said and I nodded as always. Feeling satisfied that I understood all that was to be done, he left.
The guys came back again and I told them what Dr. Irwin told me and they offered nothing in return. I mean, all they did was listen to me and nod their heads knowingly. I was expecting more. I dunno.maybe protested that I shouldn't have the dialysis or something. I don't want the dialysis. What is a dialysis?
"Did he tell you when you can leave?" AJ asked. Didn't he hear anything I said at all?
"And where do you think he's gonna take that dialysis?" Brian asked.
"Can't he do it at home?" AJ asked.
"And how is he gonna do that?" Howie asked.
"Can't we hire a home nurse or something?" Kevin asked.
Now tell me, who's gonna answer?
"Guys, do any of you even know what dialysis means?" I asked.
"I dunno.something to do with needles? Like you take a jab of something every day?" Howie offered.
"How do you even spell it?" AJ asked.
Now, if I ask you to guess how many blondes are in the room, think you can get it right?
We decided that the question should be presented to the next nurse who will come to the room any time now. Leave it to the professional, as they say.
The room fell silent all of a sudden and if I hadn't paid much attention, I wouldn't have noticed the uneasy look they were giving each other. Talk about being discreet.they were so bad at it.
"Is there something you guys wanna tell me?"
AJ had flipped first. He went straight to the 'Why would we have something that we wanna say?' speech. He was talking too fast, it was just too obvious even for the blind to see. I reminded them of the last time they had decided to keep me from knowing that I was practically walking around with just a kidney and the ugly turn it took. It was enough to get them to spill.
"It's Maira."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So much for suspense, I thought they were going to say that she was kidnapped or something. But then, that would be so unoriginal! I mean, Brian already covered that department. If you're really good at what you're doing (yes, being bad included), you have to be original and creative.
They showed me a letter from her saying that she had to fly off to France immediately for her show. Now two things got me puzzled (or maybe it was just my head); first, why didn't she tell me that last night? Why did she leave just like that? It was totally out of character. Second, I swear to God, she has a much better, nicer handwriting than that. But of course, the guys dismissed these. Hello? I'm her boyfriend, I know her better! But then again, when you're in a hurry you tend to scribble right? Okay, maybe that's it. Nothing to worry about. In fact, having her away is cool, she would be safer there.
I wasn't left to ponder on these things for long, dialysis beckons! Well, I guess I have to wait for her to call me from France then and tell her how hurt I am that she left without saying goodbye.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dialysis is one hell serious matter. So serious that Dr. Irwin had taken the steps into preparing for it eight weeks in advance. Yeap, from the very first day I was in this damn hospital, he already foresee my future. Dialysis will have to come in at one point or another. I appreciate his awareness in this matter coz if he didn't do what he had done eight weeks earlier, (they had to do this complicated procedure to create a bigger opening in my vein for the blood to flow out.don't ask me.I wasn't paying attention.) they will have to draw my blood from my neck, or my groin, which I don't think will click very well with me.
I was told that I had to go through dialysis three times a week and each session will last five hours for someone built as I am. AJ had accompanied me since Kevin and Howie were in no condition to be looking after me and Brian I had ordered to go back home to his pregnant wife.
The first thing that caught my attention was the machine that was suppose to act as a substitute for my kidney. It was damn tall and huge with tubes of all sizes running in and out of it and all those complicated looking color buttons.
Alyssa, the nurse in charged of my dialysis, made me sit on a very comfortable looking sofa and that was when my nightmare began.
"That's a freaking big machine." AJ said as he studied the machine. I told him not to embarrass me and made him sit on the chair next to my right.
"Okay Nick, what I'm going to do next is placed two needles into the vascular access-"
WHAT?!
"What?" Gulped.
"Two!" AJ cried. Somehow, ordering Brian to go home to his wife doesn't seem to be the best idea after all.
"Relax Nick, AJ.now one of them is to remove blood and the other is to return the cleansed blood to your body. Only a cup of blood is outside your body at any one time so don't worry."
A cup? That's A LOT! And needles!
Okay, one thing disturbed me seriously. Even when we had showed our fear of having two needles poked in my arm, Alyssa never once assured me that it's not gonna sting. This was not good.
"Is this gonna hurt?"
Alyssa looked at me with that 'oh I'm so sorry' look the people around here seemed to be wearing all the time. I hate it. "You will get use to it." She then proceeded to prodding my 'fistula' (whatever that means) vein with the needles, started the machine and left.
When the needles were in my vein, the blood flowed through the tube in waves. Just the sight of it made me wanna faint. And the pain.oh Lord.I could feel the soft sucking vacuum as it sucked my blood and it hurts like a bitch. Alyssa said that I shouldn't move my arm too much and it was just awkward. I saw my blood being 'washed' in the machine and then the purified one flowed in another tube and into my body from the other needle.
"Are you alright Nick?" Why shouldn't I be? Oh yeah, this. No, I'm not alright. Why was I even here? I didn't have kidney failure! I don't have the disease! Whoever the fucking fan that wanted my kidney so much did this to me! I am supposed to be healthy damn it! My job depended on it! How was I to dance and sing live on stage if even the smallest task might just kill me? This isn't fair!
"Man this hurts!" I wanted to make it sound like I hate it but my voice betrayed me. Damn voice! I cracked half way and before I know it, I was crying. AJ, not one who knows how to comfort others, started to rub my back in circular motion. To tell the truth, it felt good. I think I'm getting muscle cramps.
"I can only be here to support you bro, that's about all I can offer you." AJ whispered while I tried to compose myself.
"It's good enough, trust me."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Five freaking long hours and I did nothing except stare into empty space in front of me and filled my thoughts with ugly 'what ifs'. AJ had proceeded from reading to switching the channels on tv to sleeping on the chair. Sometimes, his head would snap back suddenly and he would wake up and check on me and I would tell him to just go home since there was nothing that he could do for me but he insisted that he stayed. And then it was back to sleeping for the guy.
You know, its amazing to see blood coming out of you and then going in again. It's like good bye you freaking dirty thing and hello there pure redness. And the machine.whoever invented them? How many more people like me were dependent on this machine for dear life?
Alyssa came back after five hours with Tony in tow. He had been guarding the entrance ever since I stepped into the dialysis center.
"Looks like you're all done." Alyssa smiled. I returned the gesture weakly.
"Three times a week you say?" I asked.
"It will get better Nick, I promise."
"Yeah man, soon you'll be out of this routine." Tony tried to encourage me. Yeah well, Nick Carter can't sit around doing nothing for five hours!
"Can I go now?" I asked after Alyssa had smoothly took off the needle and covered the bruise with a not so very attractive looking bandage.
Let's just say I was told to stay put for another hour before they allow me to go back to my room and all this time, AJ was dozing off. Alyssa told me it is not a good idea to get up after a dialysis coz I might just ended up fainting. So the one hour was spent talking to Tony. He didn't touch anything about my current position and that was good.
Once they had wheeled me back to my room, the side effects of dialysis kicked in. I was too tired and the mild headache had introduced itself again. But that wasn't the worst. They didn't tell me that I'm gonna be feeling nauseous twenty four seven!
"We need a new bowl." It was already eight at night and the guys were all back in my room. Even Kevin who was supposed to be resting at his own room had been wheeled in. Everything seemed so good at first, just the five of us talking like the old times. And then I had to puke. Over and over and over again.
"Make it a new large bowl." Howie commented as AJ disappeared to get a nurse. I didn't know I could puke this much. And I have to do this three times a week? Seriously?
And the muscle cramps wasn't helping either. It made it even more difficult to sleep. My back ached the worst and it seemed like I could never get that one comfortable position no matter what I did.
"What's wrong?" I think I just made a noise.
"I can't sleep.this back ache is killing me!" I feel like snapping my neck.
"Can you turn to your side?" Kevin asked in his wheelchair.
"Yeah, but it won't do any good, nothing could!" I whined. Yeah, I know.
"It's just that if you could, then Brian could do that little massage thing."
"Oh yeah, I could give it a try. Howie's good at it though but he's not in a position to be doing this." Brian agreed.
"Yeah, turn to your right Nick so you won't hurt your arm." Howie said. Oh well, I can't argue now, can I?
It wasn't easy to turn, my body felt like led. But once Brian started to put pressure on certain areas of the joints, it felt good.
"I think I'm going to sleep now." I said, closing my eyes and welcoming the darkness. Maybe if I concentrate on sleeping, I won't feel so nauseous.
"Yeah, you're just tired." I heard Kevin said as I felt someone wiping the sweats off my forehead.
Everything was calm then. The concentration had worked and I felt myself drifting to sleep. Occasionally, I heard their soft footsteps walking around the room and small discussions lingering at the back. All these doesn't bother me coz it meant I wasn't alone. Which is good considering.
Then I heard Kevin calling out to Marlon. He was here, again.
"I hope you have good news." Kevin said.
"We have a strong lead." I heard Marlon's voice replied. Strong lead my ass! That was what they said the last time!
"You know the man behind all these?" Howie asked. I don't really wanna give a damn. All I know is that I wanna sleep and feel better the next day.
"Not yet, but we have someone who could just help us break the whole syndicate." Marlon answered. Interesting.
"Tell us." Brian said and the room remained silent for a while.
"We found the girl who had Nick's kidney. She's in the hospital and she's dying."