I drove up to the gate of my beach house and clicked the remote control. I heard the ever-familiar buzz and the gate opened up automatically. Technology these days, I don't think I would have survived living in the past. I don't like the idea of rushing out of my car and unlocked the gate and pushed it apart myself and then climbed back in the car and drive through it and then stopped a few feet away from the gate, come out and locked the gate behind me and hopped in the car and drive to the garage. How much work is that? And after all these weeks of tour, I don't think I have the patience to do all that without going insane. Yes, I am spoilt. So?
I switched off the radio, preventing my Durango from being filled with AJ's voice going `I don't need another life line...' They were playing our song, and I'm kinda tired of listening to my own voice when I've just got out from another performance. The tour had been excellent. Sold out every venue and I didn't make any foul ups the whole time. That's a great achievement for someone like me. You think I could get a pay raise or something?
I pulled the gear once again and drove up the long stretch of road, a miniature garden to my left and green, open space to my right. I heard the gate closed at the back and I turned left, heading for the garage. My dream house. Now my reality. This is my castle. Who would have thought at such a young age, I would be the owner of a two million dollar beach house? Nobody I guess. Took me years just to get it done the way I want it and with tours, I had to put the project on hold several times before. But it's all worth it. I earned this. I deserve it. Yeah, I am living the dream.
I reached into the small compartment on the passenger's seat and took out another remote. This one is to open the garage door. One of these days, when I'm totally free and bored, I should sit down and count how many remotes I have in this house. And how much I spend a year for the batteries. Little things like this tend to be left unnoticed and that's not how I want it to be. This is my house and yet, most of the times, Maira was the one who took care of it. Did the shopping, did the cleaning, cooking and maintenance. And she has a life of her own to take care of. I can't keep her doing this for me. That's not how it's supposed to be. I wasn't playing fair. I mean, She is the lady of the house. My better half. I have to start treating her better than this. She deserves it.
Saying that, I really miss her now. Okay, drive real quickly. That's it, don't over do it or you'll be ramming this baby through the wall. Don't want that to happen. Okay, that done, I can turn off the engine and head inside. The garage door fully shut, I waited for the red dot to start blinking, signaled that the alarm system was set on again. One final look, satisfied, and I'm out of there.
The living room was empty. Not as in empty, empty. There're a decent number of sofas and furniture and stuffs that you find in a living room. It's empty as in silence. No one was busy chilling out in front of the TV. Well, of course, that would usually be me. Maybe after I get settled in, I will do just that. Some serious chill out session. I can definitely see that happening. Yeap.
"Maira? Baby, I'm home!" No respond. Where are all the squealing and screaming? I am expecting a brunette, green-eyed girl running towards me with open arm, jumping into my embrace and planting a huge kiss for me. I need my hug right about now.
Okay, she might be taking a shower up stairs. Let's just wait. Maybe make myself a coffee would be a good idea. I'm sleepy but I want to be awake to have a conversation with her. It's been a month. There's definitely a lot of catching up to do. So which means, I should be in the kitchen. That's where the coffee bag, mug, hot water and sugar are kept. I hope everything is just the same as they were before I left. Maira have this habit of rearranging stuffs when she's totally bored. I hope she hasn't been bored when I wasn't around. It might take an hour just to get everything ready otherwise.
Cool. So far, everything's the same. It's either she's been real busy these days or she simply have no other new ways to arrange all these stuffs.
Great! No hot water. Which means I have to boil it first. That's easy, I've done it before. Let's see...kettle, pour water...okay, that's enough for me...put on stove, fire: high, wait. See, I can make my own cuppa. Might as well go take a shower while waiting for it to boil right?
Wait, Maira's in the shower, I should wait for her to come out first.
What am I? A nun? Ouch! Okay, I deserve that smack on my forehead.
Alright then, I'm gonna join her in the shower. A little surprise for my love one.
Going up stairs now.
Damn. She's not in the bathroom. That left me kinda disappointed. I have all these surprises I wanna show her. Fine, guess it's shower alone for me. Okay, I'll get my towel in the room. This place is awfully quiet. This isn't the way it should be. This is just wrong.
The bed was untouched. I was tempted at jumping on it and just lay there for a while. But I know if I did, I wouldn't be getting up again. So I went to the dressing table and that was when I saw it. A note for me.
*Baby, gotta go to France, emergency assignment. Coming back in a week. Miss you!*
Oh well, that's what you get for dating a photographer. She's such a professional. That's how I met her. She was assigned to do some photo shoot of the Backstreet Boys. She caught my eyes immediately. Hair all tousled up to a messy bun with bangs catching her eyes and even in her tank top and baggy pants, she looked gorgeous to me. No make up in sight on that natural face. She's different. She wasn't a fan, so we were spared from her screams. She did however, kept taunting me with her teases. It actually really turns me on. Kept persisting that I show some muscles or some chest like the other guys and I told her I ain't got no chest hair to show off. She offered a fake one plastered. Humor. That's one more thing that attracted me to her.
After the session, she said and I quote, "You guys are very natural. Much better than the session I had with Nysnc." That just does it for me. I asked for her number. Surprised even AJ coz I beat him to it. The rest, as they say, is history.
I went to reach my towel at the rod stand when a sudden creak on the floor startled me. I didn't do that. How could that be? I didn't get to think of it. My attention was diverted when I heard the phone rang. I rushed over to the bedside table and answered the phone.
"You're home?" Brian.
"No, this is a machine, just leave your message after the tone. Bleep." I replied sarcastically.
"Oh, okay. You had me fooled man." That's my specialty bro. "I thought it was really you on the phone. Okay so anyway, obviously you're not home. I just wanna-"
"Frick, this is me! Jeez!" I cut him. I can't believe he could fall for that.
"What? Damn Frack!" Brian groaned in my ear.
"I was being sarcastic!" I exclaimed. So he didn't think I sounded sarcastic. This is such an insult.
"What'ev man, listen, just got a ring from management, we're having an urgent meeting tomorrow at nine. Don't forget alright?"
"I can't believe this. We just got back from tour for God's sake! They won't let us rest?" I whined. I have the right to. This is my life you're talking about. Nobody control it.
"I know, but it's important. He said it's got something to do with the shocking disappearance of Nsync." Brian replied. So?
"So? They realize they can't handle the competition anymore and just fade away, what's that got to do with us?" I asked him. Well, I know that he don't know but it's just fun listening to his theories sometimes.
"They want us to help them get their feet back into this business or teach them a thing or two about singing, wait, that doesn't sound nice. I take that back. I can't believe I just said that! Damn it Frack, how should I know? Just get your butt here alright? Don't be late!" I love it when he started blabbering like that. A stupid sight.
"Fine, I'll be there." I groaned.
"Frack?"
"What Frick?"
"What time again?" He asked. Umm...
"Umm...twelve?" Take a stab in the dark, that's gonna work Nick.
"Nine Nicky! Nine! Don't be late or they'll be grilling my ass for this!" He screamed down the phone.
"Okay, okay. No need to tear my eardrum!" I whined.
"You deserves it! I'll see tomorrow." Brian said.
"Later!" I grumbled and that was the end of the conversation.
I slumped onto my bed, wishing I could scream at the top of my lungs for that bad news. Wait, actually, I could. I mean, who's gonna hear me? This is a beach house, it's facing the ocean, everything will just be drowned by it anyway. And the next house is like...how should I know how far they are? They are just far, okay? Don't blame me for not knowing, they didn't state it in the brochure when I bought this place. It's not like it's important or anything. As long as I get my privacy, I'm a happy man.
About the screaming thing, I'll let it hold for now. My throat is kinda dry from all the singing I've been doing for the past month and somehow, screaming just sound like a bad idea for now. My mind drifted back to the meeting. Why would they want a meeting just to explain why Nsync suddenly disappear from the music business? It's not like they're the first band to do that. I heard nothing from 98 Degrees for a long time now, and O-Town has been quiet. It don't just happen to boybands you know, it happened to musicians and actors all the time. It's just about survival.
I mean, months ago, they were saying that our survival is not gonna last and we shut them up with this new album we're working on now. And so I came to a conclusion that this meeting is soooo unnecessary. I mean, they can always tell us that after we had like a week of rest. It's not important. It's not a matter of life and death. It's...stupid!
I closed my eyes, wishing that Maira were here with me. I never planned on coming to an empty home. The other guys are coming home to their loved ones tonight, I should too. Oh well, it's not too late, maybe I should call home and see if mom's there.
I got up and reached the receiver again. Dialed the familiar number and waited for someone to answer. It kept on ringing and I felt myself sunk into disappointment again. Where's everybody?
"Hello?" I spoke too soon. Always been like that.
"Angel?" I asked. Of course its Angel, recognized that voice from a million miles away. It's just a telephone habit I got. I mean, what else can I say? Not much really. I could say, `Hi Angel' or `Hey lil' sis' but as you can see, Angel is just a name, a singular, simple and short.
"Nicky?" She squealed. I hate people calling me Nicky, but Angel can call me anything she wants. She's my baby sister for God's sake. I mean, BJ called me Gene and I hate it. It made me sound like a girl. But did I slap her across the face like I did when AJ called me that? No! She's my sister and she can call me anything she wants. So long as it's not obscene.
"Yeah. How are you?" I slumped back on the bed, closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on the sounds that projected from the other line. I tried to imagine the house again. The house I grew up in. It must have been so silent now that most of us are away. Angel would be sitting on the sofa, facing the TV while she answered this call. I hope she really concentrate on our conversation and not the TV instead.
"I'm okay, I guess. Where are you?"
"At home. Listen, is mom and dad there?"
"Yeah. Aaron's coming home tonight, we're waiting for him. Everyone else is here."
Oh great, everyone is coming home and I'm alone. They're waiting for Aaron; will they mind waiting for me too?
"Really? Listen, will it be too crowded if I come home too?" I asked. It's been awhile since we got together, sometimes I feel like I've detached myself from my family. After what happened with Mandy...I've disappointed my family so much. All the feuds I went through with them, I no longer feel like I'm momma's boy. I think Aaron beats me to that finally. I should have known. Is it too late now?
"Are you kidding me? We missed you brother! You come home now, we'll be waiting. This is gonna be so fun! All of us will be having dinner together like the old times!" Angel cried, deafening my ear in the process. Not that I mind, its like music to my ears. To know that I'm still wanted and loved after all these.
"I'll be home. Don't start eating without me alright?" I joked. I heard her giggled. Sometimes, when she speaks, she let out this giggle that Aaron has. I think it's the twins' thing going on. I wonder how it feels like to be born into this world with a partner.
I imagined another me walking around in this earth. Like a mirror reflection of myself, talking back to me. I imagined two Nick Carter on stage with the Backstreet Boys. How weird is that? I toyed with the idea that maybe if I do have a twin, we could swap places in the band so that I can have more rest than the other guys. Heh, that would be cool. I wonder what mom and dad would name him, if I have a twin. I like the name Mikhael, so maybe he could be called Mikhael Gene Carter. Nick and Mike the twins. Oh that is just too much for me right now!
Or what if I was born with a twin sister, like Aaron and Angel? What would she be called then? Nicolete Jean Carter? Coz ya know, then they can call us Nick and Nic. Or Gene and Jean. Okay, I'm drifting again! Can I even see a girl version of me? That's just...gross.
"Oh Nicky?" Nick back to Earth.
"Yeah?"
"Are you bringing Maira with you?" Oh-oh. My mistake. I haven't told my family about Maira. Part of the reason being I don't know how to. After what happen with Mandy, I'm not sure if they ever wanna see anymore of my girlfriends. I mean, I dated around, but never commit myself into a relationship. It's hard to trust people again. But I fell so hard for Maira and I hope that she feels the same way too. I'm not sure yet. She's nice and all but I'm not sure. I've never asked her. We were always away doing our own thang, I'm not even sure where we stand right now. She's a photographer, her job always surrounded by male models or male artists or actors and I'm sure they're gonna appreciate how beautiful she is. What am I suppose to think? I have insecurities too ya know. I think she does too. Me with the fans. It's just so complicated; I don't want to bring it to the family again. I bet they found out about this from the media.
"No sugar, she's not here. Maybe another time." I replied.
"That's okay. Another time perhaps. She's beautiful; you always get the beautiful ones. I think it's because you're handsome." Angel said. And I thought it's because I have a good sense of humor and a very nice guy to have as a boyfriend. I have to laugh. Her friends want to date me for crying out loud. They should be eyeing for Aaron.
"I'll see ya soon okay? I have to go now. Tell mom I'll be there in fifteen minutes." She said her goodbyes and I put down the receiver.
I was smiling now. I feel so happy. There's no time for a shower or a drink. I'll have my shower there. I can't stay in this quiet house any longer. I need laughter and people I love around me. I grabbed my car keys and climbed down the stairs and to the kitchen. The kettle was whistling. The water is boiling. I rushed to it and switched off the stove. Such a waste now that I'm not gonna use it.
Then I saw it.
By the reflection of the kettle, I saw a masked man creeping up behind me. Yes, and I am not kidding! I had no time to think. Panic waves kept rushing in me. I turned and tried to run pass him but he grabbed me by the waist.
I'm tall, yes, and I'm big, yes, but my physical strength is nowhere near this asshole. His grip was the grip of death. I couldn't move. I don't know if my sudden immobility was the caused of his strength to hold it against me or the uneasy feeling I got for being held in that position. I could feel his breath on my neck and the raw smell of his body. If you ask me, I'm getting too close for comfort with this motherfucka.
In my desperation, I stomped on his foot, (they teach that in self-defense classes for the old folks. Er, don't ask me how I know this.) I felt his grip loosen around me and I pushed him back and made a run for the door to the garage where I could easily get into my car and drive away.
That had been the best plan I could think of at that moment in time. Get in the car and sped off. I don't care if he wanna take the whole damn house with him, I just wanna bail out of here. I could hear him grunt behind me but I never look back. All those horror movies I watched, they always HAVE to turn back. What are they expecting to see anyway? It will only slow them down. So I'm just doing what I preach. Run and NEVER look back. That should work, right?
No.
The next thing I know was the feeling of burning sensation as something hit me from the back and I heard it rattled as it made contact to the wooden floor. My entire back was seared in ultimate pain. Oh man, if I could even describe it as that in the first place! It's pain I've never felt before, that's for sure. I didn't even have time to cry out my disapprovals. Seconds after the rattling, I heard the thump as my head slammed against the wall and my body dropped to the floor.
I felt his hand grabbed me by the hair, pulling my head back. When did he even move? I met his dull dark brown eyes, boring into mine. I tried to scream, I really do, but the pain made sure that I didn't.
"Please...just take what you want, I don't care." I trembled. So much for not wanting to show fear to this piece of crap. Now he knows that I'm totally under submission.
"It's you that I want Nicky. You have it in you. Not this damn house." He hissed his intentions. What does he mean by that anyway? Anyone care to answer or elaborate on it? My head is too dizzy doing some roundabout numbers that I can't think straight.
Wait. Did he just say he wants ME? Eurgh! What the hell is he?
"Let me go or I'll scream!" I shouted at him. Like I can do anything else. I can't even move. This is ridiculous. Please God; don't let this bastard be gay or something. Anything but that.
"Scream all you want, you know no one's gonna hear ya from here. The ocean drowns everything, remember?"
Change of plans.
I guess they have to start dinner without me.