Being me is damn boring right now. If you're looking for action, don't expect them from me. I know, I am beginning to bore myself too. But it's not like it's my fault or anything. Give me my kidneys back and I'll be the most interesting or amusing person you'll ever know. Or you might find me irritating, depending on what kind of a person you are. If you think I'm interesting, then you're one of those highly intellectual people around. If you think I'm irritating, you could be one of those people I always love to bug. Like Kevin, for example. He finds me irritating. I find him exciting, coz he always give me new ways to bug him. He is never boring to study at.
But things are starting to heat up. Kevin and Brian are outside. The Kentucky Cousins to the rescue. How the hell did they get up here undetected? I'm not really thrilled at their sense of 'adventure'. It is enough guilt that I got these guys trapped with me in this damn restroom, I don't need the two guys to suffer the same fate. Goes to show the type of police security we're getting. Even our personal guards did a better job at protecting us. Okay, so right now they don't seem to be as effective coz they somehow managed to lost Kevin and Brian. MOST of the time, such things won't happen.
I wonder how my kidney looks like. Imagine mucus infested…slimy and yellow…euw…ugly enough this thing inside me, as if mutating and spreading its germs in my blood, on its way to the valve connected to my heart…is that how I will die? My heart gets infected and it will just stop beating? Maybe. I've learnt not to take myself seriously in this aspect, coz I ain't no doctor. My theories might just be wrong or unheard of.
Ashley was telling everybody that we couldn't let them go ahead with whatever plan they're cooking coz we all know they will only end up with the rest of us here. I mean, look at Howie. But then again, Kevin and Brian are always the guys with the mater plan. The idea of having 'a mansion that flies' as AJ would have put it, is courtesy of Mr. Brian himself. He might not have come up with the idea of having toilet seats that was somehow hidden or bathroom fit for a hotel room, just the idea of 'having a plane that feels like home' and they turn it into Backstreet Haven.
"Look, there are five of us here against her alone. I'm sure we can do something about this." AJ said. But you see, someone needs to remind my dear brother here that-
"No offense, but Nick is in no position to be standing up for a fight, in fact at least four of us aren't that fit and you have to remember that she does has a gun. Something that we don't have." Someone needs to shut Justin up. I wanna say that line! Makes me sound smart. He just have to have everything that I have.
"I can't just sit around and let Kevin and Brian did the same mistake I did." Howie whispered.
"And we don't have much time left." AJ reminded us all. Wow, how long do I have? Fifteen? Ten?
There was a knock at the door, too late.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm not sure how long I was out but the way things are looking right now, I'd say it's been quite awhile. As always, the pain brought me back to reality, but seriously, I don't even know when I actually lost consciousness. I remembered the knock on the door and that's about it.
There were so many things going on around me at the same time and I also noticed that I wasn't lying down anymore. In fact, I was being dragged along by someone. I saw a blurred vision of what looked like Ashley and Justin running down the hallway and AJ shouting for Kevin. So that means, by some miracle, we are no longer in the restroom. How did that happen?
"Stay with me Nick, we're gonna get you in time." I turned to my left and found it was Brian who was supporting me. Not to sound ungrateful coz I really am, but being short and me being tall, I have to bend down to his height and that kinda hurts my side even more. But all praise goes to Brian coz it is really amusing that he could balance both our weights.
Two things were going on around us then, one, Justin and Ashley kept looking back and yelling at us to run faster -like I can do that- and there was this identical fear in their eyes that made me took them seriously. Two, I was hearing AJ calling out for Kevin and Howie saying that we have to go now. And then AJ would yell at him and said that we have to get Kevin.
So here's the thing- What the hell happened to Kevin?
I stared down at my own shirt coz my head suddenly felt too heavy and I saw blood on it. Instincts told me to check my scar and of course, it's not bleeding. The stitches have long healed there is no way for it to tear again except if someone stab me again or shoot me. Which I don't think is the case. Because my theory would be, another impaled object through this body, and I'm as dead as a corpse. Okay, bad comparison but I really can't be fussy right now.
"Why…why am I bleeding?" I asked Brian and I looked at his shirt, he was bleeding too. So in my panic, I asked him why he was bleeding. Was he shot? What happened to that psycho bitch?
"You were coughing blood back there Nick, don't you remember?" Er, NO? I did? When? Yeah, whatever. I told him I was sorry for staining his shirt and all and he just shook his head.
"That's Kevin's blood."
I almost stopped on my track if it hadn't been for Brian who keep pushing me forward. I heard AJ arguing that we shouldn't leave Kevin behind and I have to agree with him. We cannot leave any brothers behind. Why are they leaving Kevin behind? And Howie was yelling at AJ that we have to get going. I can't believe what I'm hearing. We DO NOT leave our men behind! Like soldiers.
"I'm right behind you! Move NOW!" Okay that was Kevin. He's okay right? Wait, the blood…No, he's not okay.
"Quick Kev!" I heard AJ shouted and then Kevin gasping as he told us to move out and that he won't be far behind.
The lift was waiting for us when we arrived. Well, actually, Ashley was holding it up for us while Justin kept ushering us to get in quickly. Once inside, I grabbed the rails to balance myself as I looked on the figures of AJ and Howie rushing in. Then, seconds later, Kevin staggering in with blood all over his leg. He was shot alright. We locked eyes when the door closed and his stare said that we're gonna be just fine. With that as an assurance, I slid down to the floor, unable to stand much longer. This somehow, frightened my brothers. I wonder why. Do I look that bad?
I started to cough and wow, does that hurts like a bitch or what? Immediately, they squat down around me while I saw Ashley and Justin guarding the door and looking very nervous.
"Hold on bro, we've made it this far, you have to hold on!" Brian was whispering. Why was he whispering beats me. Another cough hits me and it felt like as if my ribs just snap. I saw AJ taking out his handkerchief and wiped my mouth. I dodged away like I always do of course. I hate people touching my face. Ask our makeup artist, she'll vouch for me. But Howie told me to stay still and he was so serious about it that I obeyed. I was coughing blood it seems.
Then it occurred to me. I'm getting worst. Even if they get me there five minutes before I ran out of time, it wouldn't do much good right? It's gonna take time to prepare the whole procedure. By the time they cut me open, the kidney won't do any good anymore. Speaking of which, did you know that our kidney has this thing that acts like a filter? It filter our blood from dirt and there are millions of these filters in just one kidney. Can you believe that? To think that before this, I didn't even know. Took it all for granted.
Damn, I really am gonna die, aren't I?
"I'm gonna die!" I didn't mean to say it out loud. I guess I did cause they were looking at me all funny. And it's suddenly blurry. I think I'm crying. I can't help it, I'm scared okay? I'm gonna fucking die in this elevator!
"You are not gonna die! Stay with us man!" Howie shouted at me. He was actually slapping my face. Nice parting gift D. AJ, for God knows how many time now, was crying. I remembered telling TRL when we had the AJ Rehab interview that Backstreet will always be here until one of us dies. I can't believe I'm gonna be the cause of the end of the Backstreet Boys! I'm so sorry guys. We could have gone for many more blissful years.
How did we end up here? How did we manage to get out of that restroom? And what the hell happen to the bitch? I need to know all these first. I can't die without knowing. But DAMN this hurts so much!
"Howie…I…I think I know…how it feels like…to have…broken ribs." I said. Well yeah, I do! I have to tell him that. Might be unable to next time.
"What are you talking about bro? Did you break yours?" Howie asked, panicked. My bad. Shouldn't have said it that way. I told him I didn't break anything, just that whenever I cough it hurts my side, like as if my ribs were rubbing against my flesh. I wonder if it's possible to take out my kidney and plant a new one coz that means, in between it, when they took out my infected kidney, my body would be without any kidney left coz the other one was long gone. Can a body survive without kidney for even a second? I told the guys my thoughts on this and none of them had the answer. Wouldn't expect to coz you know, they aren't doctors.
And yeah, how long does it take to get down to the first floor when we're in the second? It seems to take forever! I told Kevin to sit down coz squatting down will only hurt the shot leg. He smiled and actually listened to me! I like it. I wanted to tell them more…you know, there're just so much to talk about. When we're on tour, most of the time taken would be on the stage and when we're in the bus, we were too tired to even talk to each other. We could barely say more than five sentence and everyone would be dozing off anyway and everywhere. So I can't just die without having this conversation. But then, another cough came by and damn it was really, really a pain in the butt. I nearly chocked in my own blood if it hadn't been for Howie who told me to spit it out.
I heard AJ telling Kevin that I was shivering but I, of course, couldn't feel any of that. My nerves were paying utmost attention to the pain only. He was telling Kevin that I'm not going to make it and that scared the shit out of me. Don't say that when I can hear it. I'm not ready!
"He's not dying AJ, calm down!" Kevin told him. Well, I can trust Kevin right? He wasn't lying, was he?
"Nick, I'm going to make you lie down sideway so you won't chock okay? Can you do that?" Brian asked. I nodded. It's gonna hurt but I also damn well don't wanna chock to death. I felt Howie and Brian pulling me from the side so that my right side was down and my left side, the one with the mucus infected kidney, was the one facing upward. Damn that hurts, but then again, what's new right? I quickly balled myself coz it seems to feel better that way and when I cough, it's less painful. And the blood did come out of my mouth on its own. Brian's smart. I felt a hand rubbing my back, and that helped a lot. Sooths my nerves.
"First floor!" Ashley announced. I heard the soft 'ting' sound when the elevator opened and I heard buzz of voices and footsteps stampeding towards our direction. I heard someone telling Kevin that they need to look at his knee and then Justin telling someone else that Ashley was given that Digoxin jab. Is that the name? I don't know. Why do medicines always have funny, difficult to pronounce name? Who create all these names anyway? They should be sued.
I heard Howie, AJ and Brian all telling me to hang on, and then someone saying that they will take over from here. Someone else was talking about the O.R. being ready for me and someone else was questioning someone about what happened to the psychobitch. Stupid FBI agents, they should be the one holding that answer, not my brothers or Ashley or Justin! They should be the one risking their ass to save us and not Kevin and Brian.
I saw Brian started to get up to give way to someone else and I took all the strength I had left to pull him back down. He looked at me questioningly. I just motioned him to come nearer. I have to do this one last thing.
"Tell mom I love her…and…everybody else…" there, I've said it. Never thought I could get this emotional. Brian looked at me firmly.
"Tell them yourself, after your transplant." I smiled. This guy just have all the confidence in the world. I pulled him down again. Did I say I was done?
"Hey, welcome back bro." Okay, now I am done!
"Thanks. Could never do it without you. Fight okay?" Yeah sure, will do.
So, anyway, everyone else is safe now right?
Okay, now I can rest in peace.