Premature Ejaculation

Caused by over-excitement, premature ejaculation occurs when a man ejaculates too early in a sexual situation. Thus, premature ejaculation is cured when you’re able to train your body to stave orgasm until the time you desire to have one. Unlike the average twenty-something, who ejaculates within three minutes of insertion, you can learn to hold an erection for as long as you like and take control of your orgasms.

By nature we’re most like programmed to ejaculate quickly—there’s little evidence that shows much physical advantage in dragging out an orgasm for men. (The exception may be that, when trying to conceive, it’s best for a woman and man to orgasm near the same time; contractions from a woman’s orgasm draws sperm into her cervix and makes fertilization more likely.) Regardless, most men want to learn to stave their orgasms in order to intensify pleasure for themselves and their partner.

Above all, we must remember that unhurried sex is the most delicious kind. The longer a man spends in foreplay prior to his first orgasm, the more explosive and powerful that orgasm will be. With enough time to build, blood engorges the pleasure receptors in and around the penis and testicles and allows for great sensitivity well beyond a normal erection. Cultivate your orgasm. Be patient and enjoy building it toward a better, more earth-shattering experience.

Most importantly it’s helpful to understand that orgasms occur in two separate actions: one is when the prostate gland releases ejaculatory fluids (which feels much like the start of a good sneeze); the second is when the pelvic muscles powerfully contract and push the fluid out of the body. You probably know that it’s possible to ejaculate without having an orgasm, but you may not know it’s also possible to orgasm without ejaculating. Learn how below.

Preventing Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation can be caused by a variety of psychological and physical factors. If psychologically-based, men often have pervasive feelings of fear, doubt, shame or insecurity that they will need to overcome before curing their problem. If you are struggling with psychologically-based premature ejaculation, identify your concerns and try to talk to your partner about them. If need be, seek the help of a professional to help you work through your issues.

For physically-based premature ejaculation, one of the simplest ways to change is to get to know your sexual responses. While you masturbate, notice how your body feels while on your way to orgasm. Identify the point after which you cannot contain yourself—the moment when climax is unavoidable—and learn to stay just underneath this point during lovemaking. If you feel yourself creeping up to the point of inevitable orgasm, learn the following technique to help you last a little longer.

The Stop and Start Method

At the point just before you feel that you’re reaching an inevitable climax, press your pubic bone against her body and stop all movement; your penis will be entirely inside her vagina. (Tell her, “Resting time, love.”) Use this time to catch your breath, kiss, or tell her how beautiful she is. Once you feel your orgasm is under control you can begin to thrust once more. Repeat as many times as you like to build endurance and prolong lovemaking.

For variation, you may also try to rapidly flex your PC muscles (the muscles that control the flow of urine) while resting.

Multiple Orgasms

It’s a common misconception that women are the only creatures who can be multi-orgasmic. With a little knowledge and a lot of practice, men can enjoy multi-orgasmic sex as well—all thanks to their PC muscle located on the pelvic floor. See our section on PC exercises for more information on building strength, read a brief summary below.

Cut-Offs

After ejaculation, most men find it difficult to retain an erection. Learn how to retain your semen by exercising your PC and you’ll be able to orgasm again and again.

First you must locate the PC muscle. The PC controls your urine stream; if you try to stop urinating mid-stream, you’re using your PC. It also makes your penis nod up and down when you have an erection. Have you ever moved your erect penis without your hands (see the animation below)? To do that you used your PC muscle.

Learn the location of your PC muscle is easier if you practice cutting off the flow of urine at least six times while urinating. Don’t worry if your control is too weak to do little more than disrupt the flow, as you practice you’ll become better able to perform the exercise.

PC Flexes (or Kegels)

Once find your PC muscle, practice tightening and loosening it 20 times, hold your last squeeze for 10 seconds. It may be difficult to control your PC at first, but over time it will become easier. In several weeks you’ll be able to hold your PC tight for as long as you like—this will allow you to control your ejaculations so that you only orgasm when you want to. With strong PC muscles you choose when you ejaculate!

Once you’ve found your PC muscles rest until the next day or proceed with the PC warm-up. To warm up, simply flex your PC 30 to 40 times. Rest and repeat for a total of 2 to 3 sets with a minute’s rest in between each one. Eventually you can increase the number of flexes you do. Aim for about 250 to 400 flexes (though some men do 500 or more).

Proper PC Flexing does not involve the muscles of your abdomen, hips, thighs or stomach. If you’re not sure whether these are in use, talk while you’re performing the exercise. You should be able to maintain a conversation comfortably without straining your voice in any way.

Within six weeks of a consistent daily routine involving cut-offs and PC Flexes you’ll notice a difference in your orgasms—they’ll be more powerful, longer and more satisfying. If you choose, you’ll be able to last for hours during sex and will be closer to achieving a multi-orgasmic state. Begin today and give yourself an incredibly gratifying, potent sex life.