LORELAI: No, and I was the very picture of awkwardness, and basically, I just fled. And when I saw Luke later, we got into a fight about it, and I told him his coffee pots were stupid.
RORY: So it was very sophisticated.

LORELAI: That was some of the best hovering I've ever seen you do.
RORY: I was taught by the best.
LORELAI: But the focus - you never blinked. And the sneeze - so tiny, so dainty, so terrifying to the old.
RORY: Luke's gonna be mad. I mean, he hates it when we commandeer two tables during rush hour.
LORELAI: Oh, he only hated it that one time.
RORY: What time?
LORELAI: The time when we did it and he was mad.
RORY: He's hated it every time we've done it.
LORELAI: No.
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: No, only the one time.
RORY: Which time?
LORELAI: The time we did it and he was mad.
RORY: You're gonna do this to Luke, aren't you?
LORELAI: 'Til he's so dizzy he throws up.

LORELAI: Where are they all going? It's Saturday morning, they should be in bed.
RORY: They're excited about life. It's a college thing.
LORELAI: How come you're not excited about life?
RORY: I find nothing exciting before eleven.

EMILY: The very first Yale mascot.
RORY: Oh, my.
RICHARD: Just look at him, will you. Strong, determined, the very essence of dignity.
LORELAI: Got cotton stuffed in his butt. How dignified is that?

LORELAI: Oh, wait, are you Pennilyn Lott, my dad's college sweetheart?
PENNILYN: Yes.
LORELAI: You're my almost-mommy.
PENNILYN: Well, I suppose you could put it that way.
LORELAI: I'm so glad to finally meet you. Let me ask you something - would you have let me get a pony?

MARTY: I, uh, had an unfortunate experience with a keg and a party and a need to take my clothes off and fall asleep in a hallway.
EMILY: Oh, my goodness.
RICHARD: Oh, please, that's nothing. I was naked an entire month my sophomore year.
LORELAI: Welcome to tonight's episode of "Things I Never Needed to Know About My Father."

RICHARD: I and a group of like-minded young men decided to protest the new dress code by wearing silk ties and nothing else. We were written up by the dean of admissions and threatened with expulsion. We were also suddenly very popular with the ladies.
EMILY: Ah, yes. This is exactly the kind of conversation I had hoped we would have with our granddaughter and her friend.

RORY: It's culs-de-sac.
LORELAI: No way!
RORY: It is.
LORELAI: The plural of cul-de-sac is culs-de-sac?
RORY: Yes.
LORELAI: That doesn't even sound like English.
RORY: That's because it's French.
LORELAI: You know what I mean.

LORELAI: So, what, the plural of yo-yo is yos-yo?
RORY: Yeah, 'cause that sounds so natural.
LORELAI: As natural as culs-de-sac.

LORELAI: Hey, when did Lane start working here?
RORY: Oh, a couple of days ago. She filled out an application, and Luke brought her in for an interview and everything.
LORELAI: An interview? So official.
RORY: Yeah. They sat in complete silence for a full five minutes, then Luke said, "How ya doing?" and she said "Good," and then he gave her the job.

LORELAI: So what do we get out of this?
RORY: What do you mean?
LORELAI: We got someone on the inside now, a friend of ours.
RORY: And out of it we could get?
LORELAI: The secret things he keeps back there.
RORY: His showgirl costume.
LORELAI: Extra jelly packets, butter, discarded day-old bread.
RORY: But we get that when we go dumpster driving.
LORELAI: This'll be easier on our shoes.

LUKE: When there was a lull, she cleaned the menus without being asked.
LORELAI: Do you mean mens-u?
RORY: Stop it.
LUKE: This isn't challenging enough. She's gonna get bored.
LORELAI: Buy her a chemistry set.
RORY: Or a foosball table.

LORELAI: So, now, why do you have to get back to campus so early? Classes don't start for a couple of days.
RORY: Yeah, I have a lot of stuff to do. And it'll be nice and quiet with no roommates around.
LORELAI: Where are the rooms-mate?
RORY: Um, Janet's mountain climbing, Tanna's home, and Paris went skiing with her boyfriend.
LORELAI: So you're just ignoring the plural thing now?
RORY: Yeah.

LORELAI: Boy, maybe this Lane/Luke team isn't gonna work out.
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: Where do you think Luke will go?
RORY: I don't know. Maybe a big chain will take him on.
LORELAI: I wonder if he has a forklift license.
RORY: He could redeem recyclables.
LORELAI: You mean recycs-able?

MICHEL: I'm being Punk'd. I know I'm being Punk'd.

TOBIN: It's okay, little baby. I think your voice hits a pitch that hurts his ears.
MICHEL: My voice has the same pitch as anyone else's.
SOOKIE: Michel hates babies.
MICHEL: I do not hate babies.
LORELAI: Well, babies hate you.

LORELAI: Okay. So Mariah Carey is out with some friends and she's had a couple cocktails, she glances down from the roof and says, "Oh, look at all those culs-de-sac."
RORY: Why are they on the roof?
LORELAI: It's a rooftop bar.
RICHARD: How have you been saying it?
LORELAI: Cul-de-sacs.
RICHARD: And no one ever corrected you?
LORELAI: No, because that's the way it should be. Even if it isn't technically correct, it should be pronounced that way.
RORY: Mom, Mom, just let it go.
LORELAI: I will never let this go.

RICHARD: We got the pigs for you and the bunny for your mother.
LORELAI: You got me bunnies?
EMILY: They're for whomever now.
LORELAI: Well, no, I'll try a bunny.
EMILY: Don't force yourself.
LORELAI: I'm not. I want a bunny. Give me a bunny.

LORELAI: No, no, what did you mean when you said Paris was not with Jamie?
RORY: Paris is seeing somebody else.
LORELAI: Really? A psychiatrist?
LORELAI: So what age are we talking here, like 35, 40? 45? 46? 47? 47½? 48?
RORY: Sixty!
LORELAI: What?! Shut up!
RORY: He went to school with Grandpa.
LORELAI: Sixty?
RORY: That's how they met. We were having lunch, he came by, Grandpa introduced them. She wanted to get an interview, and apparently, she got one.
LORELAI: Sixty? Like sixty-sixty?
RORY: Mom.
LORELAI: I'm sorry, it's just. . .now I know who Woody Allen's next leading lady's gonna be.

LORELAI: Well, what would the school say if they knew about this?
RORY: Yes, what about that? This guy's risking everything - his job, his reputation.
LORELAI: Yes, well. . .he'll always have Paris.
RORY: How long have you been waiting with that one?
LORELAI: I just had a feeling the opportunity would present itself eventually.
RORY: Maybe it's a phase. It'll pass.
LORELAI: Oh, yeah, or he will.

MICHEL: I heard Sookie talking to the potato man about wanting to go out, and there was no one to watch the baby, so I offered to watch it for her.
LORELAI: It?
MICHEL: Him. Watch him for her.
LORELAI: And she let you?
MICHEL: Yes, she let me. So I came over, and the minute that she left, it started to cry.
LORELAI: It?
MICHEL: Him, he started to cry. He wouldn't stop. I did everything. I did the jiggle and the bouncy and the airplane, and then I even picked it up.
LORELAI: It?

LORELAI: I can't believe you rolled little Davey under the bed.
MICHEL: Davey?
LORELAI: Yes, Davey - Sookie's baby.
MICHEL: Is that his name? I've been calling him Truman.
LORELAI: Why?
MICHEL: I thought that's what his name was.
LORELAI: Where'd you get Truman from?
MICHEL: I don't know, I heard it wrong, okay? Do you think he's gonna hold this against me?
LORELAI: What, the man that rolled him under the bed? No, I think you're good. Oh, man, he really is sleeping. He looks so peaceful.
MICHEL: See? I made him happy.

LORELAI: No. We like Tobin. We're addicted to you.
MICHEL: You are?
LORELAI: Yes. We asked you to come with us to the Dragonfly, didn't we? We love you, Michel, and as long as you stay far, far away from little Davey, we will continue loving you.
MICHEL: Oh. I can do that.
LORELAI: Good.
RORY: Okay, hold on. And. . .what do you think?
PARIS: It stinks.
RORY: Well, it's a newspaper hat. It's not supposed to spark a trend.
PARIS: There.
RORY: How'd you do that?
PARIS: Martha Stewart.
RORY: Martha Stewart actually did a segment on how to make a hat out of newspaper?
PARIS: Yes.
RORY: Oh. Well, it looks nice.

LORELAI: Oh. He's cute. . .and very still.
JASON: Yeah, he's the best.
LORELAI: What is his name?
JASON: Cyrus.
LORELAI: Cyrus, sure. Perfect name for a dog. Cyrus. Hi, Cyrus. Is he breathing?
JASON: Yes. Cyrus was actually trained by the monks of New Skete.

JASON: He's incredibly well-behaved. He was housebroken in an hour. He has a two-bark minimum for delivery guys, three for everybody else, but the best thing about him is he doesn't do any of the standard "sit and lie down" commands. I taught him very special commands that only my dog could know.
LORELAI: Like what?
JASON: Uh, like. . .a little to the left.
LORELAI: Shut up.
JASON: Cyrus, a little to the left.
[Cyrus moves to the left]
LORELAI: What the hell's that good for?
JASON: Well, what the hell is "sit" good for?
LORELAI: When you sit, you get a cookie.

JASON: Well, when you move a little to the left, you get the satisfaction of knowing you are doing something, but you are not pandering for a dog bone.
LORELAI: Can he move a little to the right?
JASON: No, not yet. We just do a little to the left until he hits the wall, and then I turn him around.
LORELAI: You and your dog are extremely weird.
JASON: Thank you. [they kiss]
LORELAI: Thank you. [they kiss again] I'm not sure we're setting such a good example for Cyrus over there.
JASON: Oh, you might be right. Cyrus. . . [gestures for Cyrus to turn around, which he does]
LORELAI: Okay. Well, that one, I get. [they kiss again]

LORELAI: Now you gotta get yourself a nickname like Smitty and start talking really fast.
RORY: Faster than I already do?
LORELAI: Hey, whatever it takes.


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