((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))
LORELAI: Jeez, who the hell's ringing the bell? It's a party! Get your ass in here! (Emily and Richard walk in the door.)
LORELAI: Or asses I guess.

EMILY: Lorelai, I just tried some of thse hors d'ouevres. They're unbelievable. Who is your caterer?
LORELAI: Sookie.
EMILY: What's a Sookie?
LORELAI: That's a Sookie.
SOOKIE: Hi. Sookie St. James.

LUKE: Well I'd better get these in the freezer before they melts.
LORELAI: Well, not very likely in here.
MISS PATTY: I'm still crushed beyond belief that she quit her ballet lessons. LORELAI: Oh, not me. Miss Perfect Work Ethic would prance around this room 24 hours a day.
RORY: And I still stunk.
LANE: I can vouch for that.
MISS PATTY: That's not true!
MOREY: She was pretty bad.
MISS PATTY: No, don't you listen to them. You had a true gift.

EMILY: He seems to like you.
LORELAI: And you're judging this by what?
EMILY: By they way he looked at you.
LORELAI: Which is how?
EMILY: Like you were about to give him a lap dance.
LORELAI: Mom, he did not look at me like that.
EMILY: You're pleased.
LORELAI: What?
EMILY: You smiled. You're pleased that the ice man looked at you like a Porterhouse steak.
LORELAI: I'm smiling because you're crazy and that's what you do to crazy people to keep them calm.

RORY: What's going on? Is it the smoke detector? Are we on fire?
LORELAI: It's not the smoke detector, it's the alarm!
RORY: What alarm?
LORELAI: Our alarm.
RORY: We don't have an alarm.
LORELAI: Well, then, we have really angry rats. Did you cut your hair?

LORELAI: And apparently, now that I'm the pretty spinster living all alone, he's concerned for my safety.
RORY: Did he tell you all this?
LORELAI: Do you think I labeled myself the pretty spinster?

RORY: I can't even believe there's a security company in Stars Hollow. Nothing ever happens here.
LORELAI: Oh, that is not true. Plenty happens here.
RORY: Like what?
LORELAI: Like, people now break into your houses and install alarm systems.
RORY: I heard about that.
LORELAI: And we have a new mail carrier.
RORY: We do?
LORELAI: Yeah, so now if you wanna get your mail, you just have to go see Miss Patty.
RORY: Why?
LORELAI: 'Cause that's where he brings it. He brings Babette's mail to Andrew's, Norma's mail to the deli, and Taylor still hasn't found his mail, which I have to admit is kind of fun.
RORY: I rescind my previous statement. This place is hopping.

RORY: Mom?
LORELAI: Follow the Post-It's.
RORY: Does our life seem at all ridiculous to you?

ZACH: Dave is dead to me. Comprendo? Dead. Cover the mirror, rip a shirt, that guy doesn't exist.
BRIAN: He just went to college, Zach.
ZACH: No, he did not just go to college. He walked out on his art, man. He walked out on his sound. Do you think a sound is so easy to find? Did you ever see that Glenn Miller movie? For two hours, Jimmy Stewart's walking around, "I gotta find a sound. I gotta find a sound." Well, we had a sound and Dave took that sound to freaking California. You don't come back from California, man. It changes you

ZACH: No true rock 'n' roller goes to college!
RORY: Mick Jagger went to the London School of Economics.
ZACH: What?
RORY: Yeah, and, uh, Dexter Holland of The Offspring got his PhD in molecular biology at USC. Greg Ginn of Black Flag graduated from UCLA. The guy from Bad Religion got his masters in geology from UCLA, and he's working on his PhD in evolutionary biology at Cornell.
ZACH: Lane, she's your friend.

RORY: Well, it's nice. It's, um, it's pretty. It looks like heaven or a Victoria's Secret commercial, which, to some people is basically the same thing.

DEAN: I didn't want you to think -
RORY: No, I didn't think. I don't think. I go to Yale now. They think for you.

LORELAI: Well, we know where all those Calvin Klein ads went to die.
SOOKIE: They look like they all had the same mother.
LORELAI: That must be one tired supermodel.

SOOKIE: You called me! You kept me on the phone for over an hour. I missed the beginning of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and by the time I got back, they were all gay
LORELAI: So, he invited us to his wedding.
RORY: And we're having beef.
LORELAI: Well, what was his body language like?
RORY: Tall.

LORELAI: Don't say cool like that. It's gonna be very pleasant.
RORY: I thought you said you were gonna go talk to Taylor.

LORELAI: Remember in The Godfather, Michael telling Sonny how he was gonna kill Tattaglia and Captain McCluskey in that Italian restaurant? He lays out the whole thing very calmly, very unemotionally, 'cause that's what you do in business.
RORY: Yeah, but then he went and shot two guys in the head.

SOOKIE: He says the guy next to him has unforgivable B.O.
LORELAI: Michel, you're French. How can you even tell?

SOOKIE: Scrubbing shower grout with a toothbrush.
LORELAI: Sure, sure. Flossing with that really, really fine floss that cuts between your teeth like a razor.
SOOKIE: Uh-huh, uh-huh. Staring into the sun.
LORELAI: 'Til you're blind.
SOOKIE: Absolutely.
[Michel walks over]
MICHEL: I feel very ugly this morning.
LORELAI: Join the crowd.
MICHEL: That unpleasant man and his cohorts in there?
LORELAI: And have been for about thirty frickin' minutes.
SOOKIE: Watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
LORELAI: Getting brain freeze from eating ice cream.
MICHEL: What are you doing?
LORELAI: We're listing all the things we'd rather be doing than this.

RORY: What are you doing?
LORELAI: Well, I'm gardening.
RORY: What are you doing?
LORELAI: I'm gardening.
RORY: What are you doing?
LORELAI: Why don't you come over here and see, honey, since you seem so confused?
RORY: Oh, my God. You are gardening.
LORELAI: Yeah. Hello. I am gardening.

PARIS: You know, she talks to herself when she stretches. "Come on, Janet. Push it, Janet. Love the pain, Janet." It's pornographic.

LORELAI: I do respect the rules of your diner. It's that baseball cap I have issues with.

RORY: Okay. Oh, yesterday Janet woke up to find that Paris had chaired her in her room.
LORELAI: Oh, nice.
RORY: And then, later, when Janet had climbed out the window, she retaliated by gluing shut the opening of Paris' glue gun.
LORELAI: Wow, she went for the crafts.

RORY: I don't know. He. . .he carries a bottle of water around with him all the time. That's just weird.
LORELAI: Right. Hydration. Very creepy.

RORY: I'm gonna go wash my clothes now.
LORELAI: Wait. Was that it? Is this conversation over? Sorry, did I win?

LORELAI: Oh, I can't believe you finally picked a name. It makes it real.
SOOKIE: Yes, because the stomach and massive ankles were too ambiguous.
LORELAI: Does Jackson like it?
SOOKIE: Uh, well, he's okay with the stomach, but the massive ankles freak him out.

RORY: Well, I switched over to the other side of the table. Then he started to feel the same draft and came over to my side.
LORELAI: But we made up the draft.
EMILY: Flying, thumping balls all over the place.
LORELAI: Flying, thumping what all over the place?
EMILY: Balls.
[Lorelai giggles]
EMILY: You are four.
LORELAI: And balls are funny.

RORY: I can hear the TV through the wall.
TANNA: Okay.
RORY: It's distracting.
TANNA: Are you telling me to turn it off?
RORY: I'm not telling -
TANNA: You can, you know, because your grandma paid for the TV.
RORY: I'm not telling you to turn the TV off.
TANNA: Because you can.
RORY: The TV belongs to all of us.
TANNA: If it's a matter of volume, I could press my ear to the speaker and then I could turn it really low.
RORY: Never mind.
TANNA: The problem there is that the speakers for the TV are mounted up in the corner of the ceiling, but perhaps if I got a ladder.
RORY: Never mind, Tanna.
TANNA: Are you sure you don't want me to turn it off?


[1--- 2--- 3--- 4--- 5--- 6--- 7--- 8--- 9--- 10]
[11--- 12--- 13--- 14--- 15--- 16--- 17--- 18--- 19--- 20]
quote queen