JESS: You didn’t answer me.
Rory: About what?
JESS: Did you call me at all?
Rory: No.
JESS: Did you send me a letter?
Rory: No.
JESS: Postcard?
Rory: No.
JESS: Smoke signal?
Rory: Stop.
JESS: A nice fruit basket?
Rory: Enough!
JESS: Are you still with Dean? Come on, Rory, yes or no – are you still with Dean?
Rory: Yes, I’m still with Dean, yes!

LUKE: Do they let kids drink coffee before school?
Rory: Why, do you think it might lead to harder stuff? Lattes, cappucinos. . .

DARREN: Stars Hollow is charming. The last time we drove through there, there was a pumpkin patch.
LORELAI: Sounds like us.
DARREN: In March.
LORELAI: Oh, that would be the year the pumpkins arrived late.

LORELAI: I don’t know that one. I do know Istanbul is Constantinople, so if you’ve got a date in Constantinople, she’ll be waiting in Istanbul.

RORY: I’ve dreamt of going to Harvard since I was a little girl.
CAROL: Yeah, a lot of four year olds dream of that. It comes right after meeting Harry Potter.

RORY: So, what are you doing Saturday?
DEAN: Just my usual chores.
RORY: Your usual chores, John-boy?
DEAN: Well, what else do you call house jobs?
RORY: I call them the stuff you avoid until the Environmental Protection Agency steps in.

RORY: Mom, you’re freaking out!
LORELAI: Yes, I’m freaking out!
RORY: Well, you can’t freak out, I’m freaking out!

LORELAI: Hey, maybe instead of going to college, you should drop out and I could quit my job and we can form an all-girl band with Lane, you know, like Bananarama. We could call it Tangerinarama or Banana-fana-fo-fana-rama. . .or something.

DAVE: Because we’re supposed to be a one-for-all band like the Clash or U2 – it’s a democracy.
LANE: Democracies are overrated. Now get in there and kick some butt.

LANE: So I have to figure out a way to rehearse in Hartford two or three nights a week.
DAVE: Yeah, that’s not so tough.
LANE: No, it’s not so tough. And maybe at the same time I’ll attempt to master quantum physics, and throw Sanskrit in there, too.

DAVE: There’s no way you’re gonna become our Pete Best. There’s no way.

LANE: Stop it, don’t run, just walk in there and tell her what you want. After all, she’s your mother and she wants you to be happy . . .on some level, I think. Maybe not. What are you doing? Do not back off. Just move. Come on, move. Move your foot, move your foot, one foot. Lane, move your foot, right.

RORY: Out of twenty-three schools, there wasn’t one that you might want to go to?
LANE: It depends on what I’m looking for. Of course, all the great Seventh Day Adventist schools were represented, with their ban on dancing, gum chewing and bowling. Quaker College was a delightful surprise, with its special appeal to Richard Nixon, who’s dead but still deeply involved in campus recruiting. Oh, and the piece de resistance! She found an Amish school in Nicaragua. Nicaragua! A big shout out to Mama Kim on that one!

LUKE: The whole point of this stupid class talk was for us to talk about our work and our success. This flannel shirt is my most successful outfit. I’ve closed many a deal in this outfit. It’s my power outfit.

LUKE: Jess, you don’t shove a girl in a closet.
JESS: I did not shove her in the closet. She got in voluntarily.

LORELAI: You ruined my joke.
RORY: Um, no, the punchline ruined your joke.

LUKE: When did that become acceptable? In the old days, a woman would never consider doing that in public. They’d go find a barn or a cave or something. I mean, it’s indecent. This is a diner not a peep show!

LUKE: You go make her stop.
LORELAI: I’m not going over there.
LUKE: Why not? You’re a woman.
LORELAI: So what?
LUKE: So you have the same parts.
LORELAI: What?
LUKE: You shouldn’t be scared of it.
LORELAI: Scared of it? You know, you’re gonna be a bachelor for a really long time.

LORELAI: Independence inn.
EMILY: You really should identify yourself when you answer the phone at work.
LORELAI: Sorry. Independence Inn, major disappointment speaking. Better?

MICHEL: And you must always be extremely careful of your paddle movements.
LORELAI: Well, that certainly calls for a "Dirty!"
RORY: Agh, my shoes!
LORELAI: You don’t need shoes! In my day, we walked twenty miles in the snow just to get to our shoes!

LORELAI: The red skirt is not working.
RORY: Try the blue.
LORELAI: Blue let me down ten minutes ago, I think it’s conspiring with the red.

TAYLOR: The bottom line is that too many birds are landing atop the street lights and relieving themselves on helpless passersby. And I dare say that some of these birds seem to be doing it on purpose.
BABETTE: You get dumped on, Taylor? TAYLOR: It’s not just me. . .
LUKE: Hey, if anybody has a picture of Taylor getting dumped on, I’ll pay top dollar.
KIRK: I’ll check the internet.

ANDREW: I’d rather have bird crap fall on my head.
LORELAI: There it is – our new town slogan.

LORELAI: But he’s our Boo Radley, and we don’t have a Boo Radley, unless you count the troubadour or Pete the pizza guy or the guy who talks to mailboxes. RORY: Well, I think the point is that every town needs as many Boo Radleys as they can get.

LUKE: We got nothing of substance done in this meeting.
LORELAI: And the tradition stands.
LORELAI: Hey, what do you know about this town loner guy?
LUKE: Same as everyone. Just kind of skulks around with that backpack, never smiles.
LORELAI: Does he also make cheeseburgers and secretly harbor a desire to wear a backwards baseball cap?

LORELAI: A half hour before I had Rory, I was eating a pepper sandwich and watching TV. [to Rory] You were almost named Quincy.

LORELAI: It is, ‘cause she’s copying me there, too. Rory, G.G. Rory, G.G. They’re identical.
RORY: They are not identical.
LORELAI: Two syllables, repeating consonants. Rory. . . .G.G.
RORY: Oprah, Uma.
TAYLOR: Yes. I mean, these people have to try and stay up for twenty-four hours. What better to help you stay up than a cup of nice strong cup of coffee, huh? What do you say? LUKE: Sure.
TAYLOR: Really?
LUKE: For a buck a cup.

TAYLOR: You would kick Tiny Tim’s crutch out from under him, wouldn’t you?
LUKE: If he asks for a free cup of coffee, gimpy’s going down.

RORY: Well, there’s this big event that’s happening in my town. . .
PARIS: Pig race?
RORY: Dance marathon.
PARIS: I was close.

RORY: I can’t even open my eyes.
LORELAI: That’s okay, there’s nothing to see. Kirk’s in a Speedo, Taylor’s in a skirt, Al’s in assless chaps.
RORY: Oh my God, stop. I’m never gonna be able to close my eyes again.

LORELAI: Let me flip you.
RORY: No way.
LORELAI: Come on!
RORY: You are not flipping me.
LORELAI: Fine.
RORY: Fine.
LORELAI: You flip me.
RORY: No need, you’ve already flipped.
LORELAI: One cartwheel.
RORY: Silence.

TAYLOR: Round and round they go, but when the song stops, nobody knows! But the last five couples that finish behind the red line are automatically out, so hold onto your partner and move, move, move!
MISS PATTY: You’re getting too much pleasure out of this, Taylor.

RORY: The sandwiches are for the dancers.
JESS: I’m dancing on the inside.

JESS: I’m just trying to support my town.
RORY: Good, then go back to New York.
JESS: Ooh. Zing. I’ve been snapped.

LORELAI: Hey, my shoe broke.
LUKE: What?
LORELAI: I need you to fix it.
LUKE: Do I look like a cobbler to you?
LORELAI: If I say yes, will you fix my shoe?

RORY: I feel jet-lagged.
LORELAI: You’ve been up twenty-four hours straight.
RORY: Yes, why did I do that?
LORELAI: Because I asked you to.
RORY: And that worked?
LORELAI: At the time. I don’t expect it to again.
RORY: A realist, I like that.

go foward

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