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I almost killed myself today. I was like cutting the grass on the road so cars wouldn't wreck and because I had to do 80 hours of community service on account of me cutting up the swingset at the park with a welder. Well anyway, I was walking down the road and then all of a sudden some stupid dog tried to bite me in the ass and I was like "DAMN STUPID ASS DOG! I'll KILL YOU AND EAT YOUR HEAD!" and then the dog was like O_O and then a big ass icecream truck ran it over. IT WAS SO COOL! The dog went "Arrf?" and when it turned around it got hit into the air and split in half and blood and juice went everywhere. It kicked ass. The guy in the truck was like "HOLY CRAP!" and then he was like "Here Kid!" and he gave me like 13 popsicles and some frozen BBQ Chicken and told me that if I told anyone he would kill my parents and run me over inside my house or something. Then I was like "POPSICLES!" and ran away with them and left the lawnmower in the street. But before I left I stuck an orange popsicle in the dog's butt. I hope it feels better now.
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