Today, I was at this college place, and when I was walking past the bathroom, there was a bunch of loud groaning. So I opened the door and looked inside, and this dude was in the stall. So I was like, "Hey! Are you taking a dump in there?" And then it got quiet...like someone just died quiet.
So like after a few seconds, I took a breath of foul air and said "I know you are." There was no use hiding it, I knew he was taking a dump. There had simply been too much groaning. Plus, it smelled like ass everywhere. So then I walked away towards the door and pushed it open with my two fingers and let it close. And then I waited...
I was leaning agaist the side of the wall. It was still very quiet. But I knew it would come. There was some labored breathing on the other side of the wall. And then it came. Quick and barely audible. But I knew it when I heard it. POOT!!
"Aha! I knew it!", I said as ran up to the stall door. "I hear you in there! I know what your doing!" Then I slammed my fists against the door. And I was all like, "OPEN UP! DAMN YOU!", but the guy was all "LEAVE ME ALONE!"
So I was all "FINE! Poop In Your Lonesome!" And I was about to walk out of the bathroom, but then I got an idea and pressed the handle on the hand towel dispenser, like a bazillion times, and then I grabbed all of it and threw it over the stall. You know, just in case the man ran out of toilet paper.