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survival...
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above all the most important trait about these evils of the "night" are their weaknesses... when the alwave changed the signatures of these deadly nutcases...i mean...psycho cases....ahmen...pillow cases... they gained new and unheard of abilities...however, the price placed upon them was a price to be defeated...their weaknesses were implanted such as a gene is encoded into any one of us...we all have eyes as you see...or don't otherwise...all pillows have weaknesses...
all 3 types of pillows have a common weakness....you've probly thought about "slobber" being a weakness.....but it has no effect on them what so ever.....that was the most obvisous place to start finding their weaknesses, but as much as william slobbers, its apparent that they are not weak to it......sunlight, yes, these demented creatures, much like vampires, are limited to night....we threw a pillow out in the parking lot of the acc test labs at 2 p.m. on a hot and sunny afternoon.........the pillow turned marshmallow like and starting "boiling on inside"
when we studied the einstein book we realized that einstein wasn't a powerful man but he used just a pair of scissors to defeat the pillow he accidently conjured up...we realized that this was no ordinary pair of scissors and thought that maybe if sunlight could kill these deadly war machines, maybe they had more weaknesses....we first tried this experimental object of scissors against a body pillow..we sent in a captured reporter from channel eight hundred and 2 eye witness channel news channel named shooba dooba to do the job..he jabbed at the pillow and it sure did go in but the pillow didn't seem to budge as the book so falsely implied...suddenly the giant body pillow ran through a 10 foot enforced steel wall and started shooting spikes at random birds and trees...but suddenly the giant pillowcase of dumbness looked up into the sun and realized that he was burning up...so much for him...shooba dooba ran to his escape...utter failure we thought as we went on to test it against the others...we weren't about to create a devestating "melt" everything since you're so hot and tempting couch pillow...we went into test room b since there was a hole in the freaking wall in the first room and tested a normal pillow...at first we thought it was utterly hopeless as skalto dueled with an invisible sword drawn by the pillow ::yeah right:: but when he finally did stab this evil "bum" of a pillow it turned into ashes...it was a strange sight to see but it actually worked! einstein wasn't crazy after all...now all we had to do is find the others...
we knew we had a problem when it came to finding the weakness to the giant body pillow we took him down to the deepest basement of acc just in case he felt like busting through walls and making us start over with a new body pillow...we knew he was a sucker for food so we gave him a buffet...maybe if he ate too much he would explode something like a auto defense against himself taking over the world...he just kept eating though...not gaining a pound...what a freak...when we ran out of food we figured he might be afraid of something in liquid form...we started giving him coctail drinks and booze...even some nuclear fallout but nothing worked on this "insaneo"...he stood up his full form had we "fueled" a beast? he still had the "i'm a big fat idiot" look in his eyes...but was there more to this "pillow" than just dumbness? suddenly the marshmallow in a pillow case of "butter" ran through a wall screaming "hungee, hungee" we then realized that it had no extra brain cells...we started throwing random things hoping it would somehow turn him into ashes but he kept going and growing stronger with every step he took...or maybe that's because we were out of shape...however it may be he broke through another wall into the parking garage...there were many many acc camera vans parked crookedly, blocking paths, crashed into poles...it's just how a current conspiracy works..we park badly....the "bod" pillow ran past all these vans and went straight to a car and ripped off the door eating it in one giant gulp...suddenly william started crying and fell to his knees...."awww what the crap, why me?!???!?! why my car??!?!" his voice echoed out as the car exploded and the body pillow emerged in a flaming heap...he stepped a few feet and then looked down in horror as he started melting from the feet up...."me melting..me melting..." he said as he disentegrated into nothing...great...we found the weakness...something that's liquid...in a car...woopee...it took us a while to find out what it was exactly...but we finally realized that gasoline is the acid we needed to put out a massive body pillow...now...for the last and final...pillow of death...the "couch" pillow 2000...i mean...uh..."couch"..pillow....and that's all....
the couch pillow was apparently the most interesting.....able to maintain a vapor/liquid form.....we knew we had something very special here......skalto was observing the couch pillow through the bullet proof glass panel among other pillows, giant ants, and super rare pokèmon....the couch pillow was walking around when alla sudden it splattered everywhere, pieces of it were all over the walls, ceiling and floor....skalto just sat there staring at the mess, wondering how and why it happened...the pieces of the pillow slowly started moving to the center of the cell and formed back into pillow form.....skalto stared in amazement and realized it could regenerate its being, even after being splattered everywhere.....he ran to the a current conspiracy lobby where the rest of us were playing poker.....i mean searching the acc files for anything about the couch pillow in einstein's record...when he reached us he was talking so fast we couldn't understand what he was saying...he ran back to the test labs and as we followed he told us all about it.....after hearing his story we didn't exactly believe this tale of wonder...however, when we checked the test lab's security camera to see what exactly happened when something caught neo's eye.....the body pillow, slow and fat, stood up and looked down at his belly as to say "man i'm a lardo" when outta nowhere a spike shot out of his stomach and hit the couch pillow right smack in the chest...causing it to splatter everywhere as the body pillow jumped around clapping its hands...we were astonished at the video...
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