capital letters…english teachers all around the world tell of the horrors of what would happen if we didn’t have capital letters…have you ever noticed the bias we here at acc have against capital letters? notice how we actually go so far as to turn capital letters into bold letters? never using capitals in any instance? there’s a good reason we do these things…so we went to a spectator outside of acc hq and what did they have to say?
roo: this's roo from a current conspiracy do you mind answering a few questions?
driver8732: y?
if i told you…i’d have to kill you…well not exactly…but it wouldn’t be a pretty site!!
roo: for a current conspiracy
oh i forgot…i did tell her…hmm…what a coincidence…
driver8732: what happened
driver8732: well what happened
as you can see i’m unsure as to what exactly to say to something so strangely bizarre of a question…i mean what did happened? did my brains splatter onto the computer at the sheer thought of the question? i think that they did…i mean it’s a very deep question…like if there’s a tree...and it falls...on top of a man and crushes him into tiny bone fragments would you still hear the tree creaking years later over the bum’s body or would it not creak at all? ever…because the tree wouldn’t exist…and he really just fell and broke his leg…it’s one of those strange questions that just make you go….
roo: nothin happened i'm writin a story and i interview peoples
roo: for the story
roo: so what do ya say?
of course what do ya say sounds british at least…or maybe australian…and of course i’m not australian…and if i was i wouldn’t be this lost…
driver8732: bye
roo: thanks for your time www.acurrentconspiracy.com
driver8732: ok bye
gosh people are just rude these days…no thanks for interviewing me but i’m busy at the moment? just a “what happened” and left…i guess it did provide us with a very strange question…what did happen…hmm…makes you think…of orange sherbert...of course to answer your question on why we don’t use capital letters is…we would die if we did…horrible horrible deaths…well either that or we’d have to find another reason…but we have many anyways…so here it goes…
capital letters were birthed along with the english language, right? wrong…when english was created it didn’t contain such capital letters, only the lower case…that was english…how did we get these capital letters then you might ask? well if you’re not asking this question please go to another story cause you obviously don’t want to know…i mean really what are you supposed to do with your brain when you’re so dumb that you think that capitals don’t even exist now since when the english language was created there was only lower case…i would give the advice to use it as a football or throw it to some brain-eating zombies…although it wouldn’t be nutritious and the zombies would probly become that much dumber after eating it…they would become dumber and then they would start to complain about malnutrition because the brain was just so dumb that it just wasn’t worth their time and energy to eat…i mean when a brain isn’t worth the time and energy to eat to zombies you’ve gotta be dumb…here we go to another spectator who i hope is less rude than the previous interviewer…
roo: this's roo from a current conspiracy do you mind answering a few questions?
heartbreaker4l: uhh sure
roo: what is your opinion on capital letters?
minutes pass and i still wait for an answer…i of course consider the options…hugely rude…or she’s typing something really long…of course i chose the latter…or should i say ladder…and then i climbed it and jumped into a kiddie pool of water did i died? i think not…can you see me? maybe i’m a ghost oooo sppoooooookkyyy…
roo: you must be typin somethin reeeealllyy long =x
auto response from heartbreaker4l: i wana b da
girl who u dream
of at nite
i wana b da girl who u hold so tight
i wana b da girl whose da center of ur world
but most of all i jus wana b
*ur girl*
**not here!!!*went out
*sar*
roo: hmm i seee...
roo: maybe when u get back then...
woah even more rude…i mean i’ve spoken to some rude people but saying they will be interviewed and answer questions and then suddenly turning on their away message? never have i seen such rudeness…i even began complaining to my friends of such rudeness
heyyou8722: worked all day
heyyou8722: 10 to 6
roo: people are so rude these days
heyyou8722: yeah it sucked
good thing she thought it was her i was speaking to ::wink wink:: cause that would have been bad if she realized that i wasn’t ::wink wink:: so if you’re still not asking the question of “where in the heck did capitals come from” and you haven’t left the page…then you must be even dumber than expected…dumb dumb dumb…you’re almost like one of those dum-dum pops cause they have no brain and at least they taste like sugar…mmm…suuuugar…so like i was saying if you actually did ask the question…then you get a cookie…cause that was my plan…but now you’ll never know….
just kidding…hahaha what if you’d had left the page you would have been so dumb…capital letters began when the people of katesh created their language…obviously it’s capital letters...duh! cause it’s in the alien faction? so why don’t you just open your eyes!!!!! i just told you what their language was!! do you still not know?!? “oh what is their language?” it’s capital letters! it’s capital letters!! didn’t i just say that?!?!?! what is this world coming to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dumb…just dumb…here we go to yet another interviewer…hopefully they have more to say…and nicer things for that matter…
roo: you're name's almost like sweet and sour only not
swtnsexeeee: lol right
am i not right? am i not right? that’s right…i am right…it could be “sweet and nazi” too with a kind of xena feel but i’ll stick with sweet and sour…only sexy…or sexeeee…or something…
roo: did you mean for it to come out that way =x
swtnsexeeee: lol no
gosh my whole plan’s shot to…ah!!!!!!!!!!! look at this bee!!!!!
you have no idea! it’s mouth moves! we’re all doomed! we’re allllllllll dooooooommmmmmmeeeddddddd!!!!!
roo: omg that bee is freakin scary
swtnsexeeee: lol
swtnsexeeee: how old r u
how old!? how old!??! we need an exterminator!! i mean look at this thing!!!
what if that really wasn’t lipstick…and it was really….blood!! it’s eaten already!!! it’s waiting to wake up and eat everything in it’s site!!!!!! ahhhhhh!!!!! aaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! of course i’m polite…and i say…
roo: 19
swtnsexeeee: ok
swtnsexeeee: i am 43
roo: well the real reason why i imed u is cause i'm from a current conspiracy and i wanted to interview you anyways but people are so rude these days that no one would respond to that
and to make a new conspiracy about bees…like this one…
killer bees…of death…next on acc…
swtnsexeeee: well i am kind of busy
busy bees!
it’s just scarier than the average bee…
roo: =\
=\’s at the bee…
roo: thanks for ur time!
roo: www.acurrentconspiracy.com
swtnsexeeee: good luck
unfortunately i think seeing that bee is seven years bad luck…or is that breaking mirrors…or is it breaking mirrors with that bee…cause i mean if it takes the bee down i’m willing to do it…i would pay to do it…
ahh!!!! it opened it’s eyes!!!! it’s the bee of death!!!!!!
swtnsexeeee: ok i will check it out
roo: nah u were the last hope cause i'm uninspired lol
ahh! the beee!!!!!! it’s attacking my eyes!!!!!
swtnsexeeee: arg come back later then
roo: how much later cause i'll probly be up till the break of dawn
roo: and i'm sure you wouldn't want me iming you then lol
ahhhh!!!!!!! just look! just look!!!!!
it’s deadly sting!! it’s killing meeeeeee!!!!!!!!
swtnsexeeee: if u see me on here im me
roo: at the break of dawn? =o
swtnsexeeee: if i am on whynot
roo: alright!
what can kill this menace of a death beast!!! it's eating my kidney!!!!! this eeeeevil beeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
swtnsexeeee: lol
roo: whatever works works lol
what works!?????????
whhhhhhhaaaaaatttttttt wooooooooooorkkkkks!!!
notify aol! notify aol!!!
whew…why didn’t i notify aol before…that bee gets a little freaky….
swtnsexeeee: lol
roo: but i still say that bee gives me the creeps =o
swtnsexeeee: why
roo: cause it's like...waiting for the right moment to open it's eyes and fly outta the screen and eat everyone in sight it just has that kind of deadly evil bee with lipstick look
swtnsexeeee: lol
whew…good thing that bee’s gone…i could use some pesticide…when jaeven paine came to the unknown region and told of his language it somehow leaked to earth…the people of earth added on the language of katesh to their language creating english as we know it…the english teachers frown on those who don’t use capital letters…math professors shun those who don’t use the subset “a” instead of the subset “a”…even parents get mad about those darned capital letters…what’s so wrong with capital letters you may ask? why do we at acc have a bias against capital letters? don’t get us wrong, we don’t mean to disrespect katesh or it’s people by not using their language…that’s why we don’t use them…there is a renegade force which broke off of katesh and began terrorizing those planets which use the katesh language…there are said to be few other than katesh that actually use the katesh language, but we are obviously one of them…but as we’ve seen this alien renegade force doesn’t use “the force” like luke skywalker…cause i mean if they did they could probly just pick us all up and throw us into some swamp and no matter how hard luke skywalker tried he probly couldn’t even save one of us cause of those darned x-wing flashbacks…i mean think about it…if you couldn’t lift one little x-wing out of the mud and you’re tryin to pick up a ton of people out of some swamp you wouldn’t be able to concentrate worth crap…especially with all the horrendous screaming…but also they don’t use “force” as the movie independence day either…thusfar…we’ve found that they’ve flipped cows inside out…abducted human beings…even created crop circles telling us to stop using capital letters…i mean it’s pretty obvious… many government organizations only release a partial crop circle which makes it look like this…
we've found more evidence however...that there are actual giant ants...this proves it beyond a shadow of a doubt...
however, if the truth be told we have discovered a crop circle’s full picture that actually looks like words…as you look at these crop circles you can realize just how obvious it is…
(dramatization)
they just want their capitals back…it’s said by many abductees that they don’t remember anything except for a time lapse…could they have been abducted and then hypnotized into thinking they should never use capitals? in even others they reported horrible experiments…experiments that might look something like this…
well maybe not quite like that but something in that general direction…in what i’ve seen so far the zaryne and katesha races wouldn’t commit crimes like these…and since they began once the capitals leaked to earth it couldn’t be the zaryne…while the katesha were on katesh at the time…until we find such a race doctrine we cannot name them or we could suffer dire consequences…these capital letters have been burned into our beings but we must stop such treachery…so either we destroy those darned dirty apes or they rebuild the statue of liberty! and if they don’t!! we’ll have to blow up something!!! cause they’re not smarter than us!!!!!!!!!!!!! zooo em!!!!! zoooo em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! look at this experiment again!! just look at it!!!
daaaaaarnnnned diiiiiiirrrrrrrtyyyyyyyy aaaaaaaaapppppppeeeeeeeesssssssss!!!!!!!!! oh…wait a minute…we’re talking about aliens…ahem…sorry about that…capital letters aren’t important to us at acc…the lives of our fans and our staff are more important than an entire language which we have no right to put into our own…so next time your teacher tells you you used no capitals…tell them “and i’m darned proud of it!!!!!” either that or conform to the world yadayadayada get abducted by aliens get turned inside out hey why do i care… i mean really…it’s not me saying “who cares if i use capital letters” it’s not me saying “com’on aliens come and get me…” it’s not me saying “why don’t you aliens come down here and do horrible experiments to me!” i didn’t do it…and when you get up there make sure you say “my bad…i used capital letters so i deserve this…” cause you know better! cause acc told you better! daaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrnnnnnnnneeeeeeddddd diiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrtttyyyyyyyy appppppeeeeeesssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahem…so don’t heed to the capital letters…and run from them…cause they’ll kill you! they will! until next time…if there is a next time…this’s roo…signing off…
roo
