william scott.... the mad scientist of the penguin.... i guess you could call him the penguin's left hand man...or left...wing! bawk bawk chicken chicken bawk bawk chicken wing ahahhaa, anyways, deep in the mad man's lair, screams and screeches are heard, where the giant ants are feasting on the beings that were madly thrown into their evil lair... the maddened rambling and laughter from william scott can be heard over this sound of death....or maybe that's just the sound of juicy crunchy kfc... those giant ants sure do know how to eat! but when giant ants are involved it's probly not kfc... i mean look at them... they're huge... it's just not something you see everyday....

woah what doya know??! now that's some huge kfc!! you'd think they'd name it hkfc cause it's so huge!! who was right?!! who was right!??! that's right... bambi was right... bambi was right to run away! run away bambi! run away! don't let the hunters get you!!!!!!!!!!! whew that was a close one bambi....but this conspiracy isn't about bambi...it's about william scott...

the esa (experimental scientology association) conducted an experiment dealing with schizophrenics…they created a drawing to find the perfect schizophrenics for their tests…patients who entered into the "schizophrenia drawing" were judged by their actions and studied for weeks... surviving extensive testing to prove if they really indeed were schizophrenics... they noted that there was one man that freaked out the first day and began begging not to be "voted off"....whatever that means... of course he didn't stay long...along with another one that changed his mood every 3 seconds but psh anyone could do that.... soon they finally found a man who could go from a strange, deranged mental case back into an irish leprechaun and then in the next second he was dennis miller! so finally...they chose the perfect test subject... david tony.... it's kinda ironic how his first *and* last name are first names..... hmm....strange days we live in...... they bought mr. tony a house, quite a nice one actually, although david had to quit his job, they took good care of him and his family, providing them with whatever they needed..... here we have stolen.... i mean....borrowed...the notes of the 5 extensive science buffs...or whatever they are...

week 1: we found our test subject, david tony, from rhode island. we made him quit his job, although we'll take care of him and move his family here in europe with us... we bought them a house to live in. when we first introduced him to the house he became paranoid and jumped off the top of the roof... he's fine now but...it was strange... here's the tape....video footage...... david tony stood out from everyone because of his unquieness. it seems like mr. tony's personalities are limited to about 10, which is a lot for people with mpd. we've set-up video cameras in every room, phone taps, and we have put liza as the maid, to stay with him and study him closer, we'll see how things work out...

the person writing this is named will…his 4 other esa members are ian, the genetic engineer…his wiry hair and twisted look go along with his attitude…he's known to set fires in random places…another is liza, the veterinarian…she went undercover as the maid here and can be seen in the next few videos…a rather strange addition to the esa is scarface…he was scarred during an operation gone wrong…he's a surgeon…the final member is otto, the old doctor. no one really knows why otto was part of the esa…he never really does anything…weird…let's go to our researcher for an in depth question about our conspiracy…



roo: this's roo from a current conspiracy goin straight to our researcher - is it possible for 5 people to go into one body?
hi my names rich: no
hi my names rich: well
hi my names rich: they can go into one robot body
roo: really? how's that possible?
hi my names rich: just as the transformers joined to make one big robot
hi my names rich: you just need four people, and one really smart person
roo: wow why the really smart person?
hi my names rich: optimus prime then comes through the smart person's brain onto a paper plate, where he conducts the ritual. somehow, the body parts join together to make one "super" human, which optimus can control for the new twenty0six minutes.
roo: paper plates are expensive these days how can optimus prime afford such luxuries?
hi my names rich: he's a robot, he can do anything
roo: is there anything robots...can't do?
hi my names rich: crochet
hi my names rich: they simply can't do it
roo: what if they had amazing fingers?
roo: human-like...fingers...
hi my names rich: doesn't work
hi my names rich: ask any android to crochet you something nice
hi my names rich: they can't do it
hi my names rich: they can knit like a dream, though
roo: how can they knit and not crochet? is it something to do with their ai?
hi my names rich: the world may never know

ok so it's not even close to about our onspiracy…but hey…who said it would be….oh…that's right…i did…ok fine here….

roo: this's roo from a current conspiracy going straight to our researcher....how can you explain what happened from the first week's footage of david tony?
https://www.angelfire.com/rpg/ACC/wsweek1.swf
hi my names rich: people think he is running from something
hi my names rich: he is only running from himself
hi my names rich: the pain that this boy's mother caused him is enough to make you do it
hi my names rich: for....when he was younger.....his mother....well
hi my names rich: she stuck waffles in his socks
hi my names rich: he went nuts
hi my names rich: it stuck for so long
hi my names rich: both the waffle, and his nuts
hi my names rich: and that is that
roo: wow that's a very emotional tale....

week 2: we studied david's activities again today... he shows signs of a highly toned schizophrenia... one minute he will be combing his hair...the next minute he's a raving lunatic... we of course have the footage... we've discovered signs of hostility after he gained consciousness from ramming his head into the ground... we've come to find that he did it because he hated his hair enough to do something like this... he explained that he was combing his "lovely and beautiful" hair and then didn't remember anything after that...yet two seconds later he said he remembered picking up a chair to go..."watch the sunset"...and then after a few minutes he finally said "i hate my hair.. i hate it with a passion..." and began ramming his head repeatedly against the wall... it's going to be a long week...

after interrogating david tony they knew for sure he had mpd…the strange self mutilation was unlike most mpds and they knew something was wrong here…they kept on testing…and then we tested…and asked our researcher just what he thought about week 2….

week 3: in continued study of william scott, we've discovered his personalities to be many... at one moment he even thinks he used to be in the cia...in danger..even that he's being monitored by "them", phones tapped... of course this, we discovered, is why he was paranoid and jumped off the roof... he shows no sign of knowing any of the others exist when he is in a certain personality... another was an old man that owned a barber shop...this explains his love of his hair...at times...his voice changed dramatically…it was almost like he was an actor, but no actor could stay in character like this david tony.... it's miraculously strange....yet we continue to study...continue to try and help... we're still trying to get to the bottom of the hostility... he became a granny one instance and then immediately turned into a child, acting as if nothing had happened...footage…he's becoming increasingly violent and we're hoping to subdue him until we can give him the medication we have been working on... we should be done with it soon... let us hope it's good enough...

the violence began to increase in david tony as his level of schizophrenia increased…it was only a matter of time before they finished the medicine…the researcher wasn't available to view week 3 or week 4 so we subbed in someone random!

week 4: today we are going to inject him with some new medicine we've designed…it should cure his schizophrenia…the problem is we don't know which form he will end up being…after these weeks we know he is a schizophrenic…finally we will succeed and get credit for our accomplishments...

the esa actually designed the schizophrenic medicine…finally, all schizophrenia can be cured with one small dosage…they weren't sure if it would work but they had it completed…unfortunately, it was a disaster…when they arrived to cure him, he broke free and began destroying the house…he ran outside and stole their van, ramming it into the house itself…footage...david tony died in the driver's seat as he drove the van into the building…the only other injury was will…he began having seizures…when the esa got there they took him to the hospital, but he collapsed into a coma…

will was transferred to the sunny daze hospital in europe on may 14th…he stayed there for a while…slowly getting better…everything was the same until one day…one strange and demented day…the alarm bells rang…are ya listenin?... sorry….it *is* close to christmas right? unless you read it in july…but who would be so crazy!??!… soon he began to hear slams onto his door…relentlessly tormenting his tortured brain…again and again….until finally he felt a chill down his spine as he saw the door turn to ice and shatter…there stood the evil penguin…

they escaped sunny daze that day, but soon came across a pack of ants…william scott(the name he began calling himself shortly after this incident)'s now twisted mind began thinking of experiments the esa could use to build an army of death now that william scott had so much knowledge spawning from his coma…he began picking up ants, not having a jar to carry them they began to sting and bite his hands and arms…they crawled up his legs…into his hair…into his shoes…he began to laugh maniacally…as they walked away, william scott still laughing, they made their way back to america…we then went to the same random person…wow! what a randomosity!

yes, the video footage sure does have good graphics…ahem…hijacking a boat from a group of european divers, they sailed across the ocean back to america…they had to find a place to hide…the european government and the fbi were after them, not to mention the random associations which would kill to get the penguin into a tv dinner and name it "penguin 'n' fries"….so they went to the only place that they wouldn't expect penguins….arizona…

he began looking for the perfect area…but after a few sewers and a nuclear bombing site, he realized that he wasn't very good at finding underground lairs…they began walking through the desert, searching for a bunker, or maybe a giant rock to plot under…they walked until their eyes began to burn from the relentless sand and their tongues turned to dust... well…probly sand…until suddenly they stepped one step too far…the ground collapsed under them and they ended up in an underground cavern…this…was their lair…

as they continued to explore the new cave they stumbled upon... they realized it was the perfect place.... soon, william scott had begun development on the giant ants... william scott found his chamber....it was massive....room to do anything.... yes...anything...as in make the ants giants..... they might be giants!! lol nm... when tim jenkins discovered the cave, he also found a journal of william scott... yeah.... i know what your're thinking....a mad man's journal.... it's prolly all made up just for a laugh, however there is evidence to suggest what was said, he really did... yes, the giant ants were obvious.... well let's just goto his journal

wekk 1: we just arrived here in the new lab…i have small bites from what appears to be ants…i brought them back from the european coast…i've begun testing them and realize my colleagues have grown in their knowledge to become superior minds…i think we've grown from finalizing the schizophrenic medicine…there is much yet to come…

wekk 2: i have cloned the giant ants…it will only be a matter of time before the growth has set in…these giant ants will be perfect for our plans…deadly, yet massive…we have no memory of the cycle of creation, yet we have designed the perfect growth setting…it's amazing what the human mind can do…beautiful…yet so ugly….

wekk 3: we have created our first giant ant…they will soon become a massive army …i feel a surge of power running through my blood…the power of nations…the giant ants will make the perfect army…

wekk 4: we have created the perfect army…an army big enough to conquer nations…somehow we've come into a small problem however, we cannot control such massive creatures with our sheer muscle…we must develop a kind of control device…the death of a nation brings subordination…to whom i have yet to decide…

wekk 5: we have found a conductor…it acts as a medium, sending our will into it by disabling their mental capacity…their antennae pick up the disarming signals and receives our will…soon they are incapacitated and realize they can't resist what we have planned…it is finished…

wekk 6: we are abandoning this project, it has come to our attention that the ants have developed a human side which is weakening their minds…we must restart our operation at another location…most will be left behind but the few i have trained will be redesigned and rebuilt into the perfect giant ants…humanity and it's extinction are inevitable…

and now to the wintery snowy land of canada...yes.... the evil duo, along with their giant ants went to the land of canada.... where they stumbled upon their present day lair.... which we have satellite imagesthis is a guess of where we would think the penguins lair is....certain activities in the area suggests that something is up...and it isn't the canadian government...ahahha...anyways... canada, man...why canada? anyways, they did goto canada alright! (in the background "screw canada!") arrow here...

williamscott, being the magnificent genius he is....invented something so powerful...it could change matter....dunno what to write here

when william scott got the alwave down with a knack.... he read of einstein and the pillow that was transformed.... william scott went out to make an evil pillow...

as william scott progressed.... there were many failures to make an evil pillow.... one actually came out and started puking all over the floor asking to be killed.... it's sad.... first animal cruelty.... now this... it's sick..... we have a few examples here, but for the rest, check out acc labs later on..... well roo, what do you think the weirdest failure is?

well the weirdest failure that sticks out in my mind is the one that came out to be an omish pillow...it was dressed up in an omish outfit... who would have guessed this strange outcome for a pillow? i know i couldn't of...unless i had aloooott of nuclear fallout... it's insanity... the pillow began to express it's opinions on oppression and the evils of electricity just before william scott threw it into the "insane omish pillow" pile... otherwise known as... the shredder....

haha, that was a funny one...but the most unusual thing happen in the process.... actually, we have no idea how this happened....but when william scott exposed the alwave to a pillow....out came something of what you would call a human, yet he was what william scott describe 'a pale unusual color and walked somewhat with his arms as well as legs' it was also said that he, or it, had a very annoying personality.... so ultimately it was named chester....and we will investigate this phenom later on....and i say phenom because it was extremely improbable that such a complex being came about from a simple pillow.... the ability of the alwave is now front and center.....

william scott finally succeeded one cold, dark night... it began after his failure with chester.... he banished the little guy forever, and soon he began working again...but tonight was different... he twisted the beam in the utter opposite format...before his eyes, it created a genuine evil pillow.... genuine because of it's insane appearance to a pillow...and evil..because....well it had glowing red eyes and razor sharp teeth... go figure... the evil pillow was now the next step into his creation of an army... an army of the evil penguin...

where do we get all this info you may ask? ebay...no duh! all insane scientists sell their life stories on ebay... it's just a matter of stating the right search options..."life story evil scientist" just doesn't cut it.... why, let's see just what happens when we put that in the search engine... 0 items found for life story evil scientist... exactly! see?! so when you search for evil scientist's life stories you must be very specific.... after neo's return from getting winamp3, we continue our conspiracy and end my mindless rambling...

after william scott created the evil pillow he went to work on yet another vile and insane experiment... he began designing the perfect drink... yes, the greatest drink ever made... he figured he would use this as a marketing scheme and gain a mass amount of money to fund his next evil experiment... he mixed and matched...hoped and boiled...drained and added... soon he came to the conclusion... the evil taste of.... pepsicoke... he targeted those who were against acc...calling it "the official drink of acc badguys" and even using acc as it's tool for commuting his mass soft drink to the insane, world-destroying beings who detest acc... of course, acc stopped pepsicoke dead in it's tracks with the insane taste of nuclear fallout, derived from mortimer, the virus planted inside of bordan's massive ai...

after the many enemies of acc, including some of the acc cameramen, bought pepsicoke... they easily had the money to buy a genetic lab... william scott began taking different beings, creating a collection of insane insects... in few attempts he genetically engineered the perfect enemy... he sent them to william's house, and as william arrived there, accidently slamming the acc van into his house, the gnatsees were there to greet him... he escaped somewhat strangely, (see gnatsee conspiracy) but it was the beginning of a new kind of enemy... their fast speed was unmatched, but nickel crosses seemed to be their only weakness... nickel crosses being incredibly rare, we decided to create our own to defeat these enemies... they were, and still are, formidable opponents... their assassin-like speed creates an intelligent bullet of death and their switchblade arms top off these killer beings....

even though the penguins army was becoming economically strong, it simply wasn't strong enough.... even though it was bringing in millions a month, the penguin was in need of it more...for what? hmm.....the answer to his problem was found in a little red creature...ahaha no, not the cute funny creature called elmo.... wait…ohh yeah, it was, my bad, the answer was elmo..... elmo's success was brilliant but so simple, elmo was a money making machine.... the penguin set his squad out... the original ups to kidnap elmo and leave a ransom note... even though the ransom note was the key to the penguin success in this mission.... something unexpected happen...... when william scott injected elmo with the penguin's blood he became a mindless pawn of the penguin...he was no longer cute elmo, he was crazzzzy elmo, he was running frantically everywhere saying random phrases "does kik-kik want some moo-moo!?!?!" who knows.... the crazy mind of elmo was now elmp...becoming a slave to the penguin... when elmp tripped and fell into william scott's cloning vat , it started to mass producing minielmp's..... minielmp's everywhere on the floor and still coming out one right after the other....laughing hysterically at absolutely nothing.....and thats where the penguin devised a plan on how to get rid of them....and make money.....packing them in a box and calling it 'tickle him elmo'

william scott, though the criminal mind of him and his colleagues amount to much of the penguins army, is still a criminal mastermind... though he may seem like a mad scientist, his cold and calculating mind has done more than just create "an army of deadly minielmps" or "little gnats with baby blade arms", he's created a monster....a moooooonnnnnnnnsssttttteeeeerrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his name...is simon.... when the second ups united, they brought with them a cat, william scott designed the perfect formula.... it was only supposed to create superior claws, which it easily did... it also slipped his mind into insanity.... he began talking.... though he has a stutter, and is nearly undetectable, he's ups's demolitions team and has expertly disintegrated many of the enemies of the penguin.... yet he's simply a housecat..

william scott...the best thing that ever happen to the penguin... even though he won't admit it...he's talented... he's brilliant.... he's got money...... ohh yeah, he's a madman... ahhahaha.... what a combination... from the giantness of the ants to the evilness of the pillows...even to the disturbing creation of the elmps.....the future of william scott looks bright for the penguin...you know, neo...the evil penguin probly has to wear shades...with william scott sided with the penguin, who can stop him?... well neo...probly no one...except for us... i mean you know... we are acc...uhh... that wasn't your line roo... it said we were supposedta end this two segments ago.... we have cue cards? freakin gnatsees! uh... this's roo....and neo.... signing off... kik-kik want some moo-moo!?...heh..... william, stop being like elmp, it disturbs me…