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the penguin
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the penguin, a menacing evil being which looms over us and counters our every move....or is that the vacuum...i can never tell...nevertheless, the penguin is the worst of the penguin faction...hence the name...the *penguin* faction...what, did you think it was some kind of codename for william scott?!? yeah, that's what i thought...back down...u don't know who ya messin with...ahem...even though the penguin might seem like a creature which lives in alaska with easy-going lives and love for icy waters, this penguin's a little stranger than most....we don't know all of the penguin's origins, but we've traced him back to a time long long ago....
the penguin began as a small penguin...he enjoyed the icy water and playing on the glaciers...and did have a simple life at one time...his happy home in alaska consisted of his family, and a few of his friends...these were all the things he loved...you see...the penguin had no material possessions like most penguins...i mean..you don't see penguins ice skating do you!? with ice skates?! no! and you don't see them reading books right?! are you insane?!!? but this penguin cherished life...the only force which love had flourished in...then...things took a horrible turn for the worse...
the tiny penguin feet of the...penguin...began to feel slight vibrations within the ground...he almost made a dive into the water to hide from such a strange feel, but suddenly began to see the water turn dark...confused he began looking around, for his family...his friends...until he saw them...they struggled in the water, something killing them...the blackness...confused, he didn't know what to do...he saw his mother dive in to save his brother, but she, too became captured by the blackness...the penguin had no idea what was going on...he called out for help...called for his mother to swim back...but it was too late...after the disaster, everything he loved...everything he lived for, was destroyed.....the penguin had no where to run...
as the penguin stood, crying...calling for his mother to swim back...suddenly he felt a sensation throughout his body....his mind began to twist...slowly he started blaming the world...began realizing what kind of world it actually was...his life flashed before his eyes as a part of him died...the part which cared...the part which loved...he became...the evil penguin...the penguin began laughing maniacally, when suddenly a flash came before his eyes...he pulled his wing up, slowly growing claws....his teeth grew longer...his nails sharper...suddenly he had powers beyond imagination...ice was at his mercy, and he would never let it go...
the penguin, laughing maniacally, suddenly looked above to see two beings fighting...he looked at his icy claws and suddenly they slashed out and an evil grin came over his face...he felt a thud behind him...sensed a being...he whipped around to face him...they faced eachother now...blood red gleaming from the penguin's eyes...stone solid look from the cow which stood before him...the penguin began to hear strange sounds coming from the cow....moos...suddenly his body was convulsing and he felt his brain melting...the cow had him in his clutches...the penguin fell to his face, since he has no knees...and with one swift move with his final push of energy he jumped to his feet and put his clawed wing before him, casting phrostbyte! his deadliest and most painful moove...the cow stood still...he began moving his feet...but they were frozen...his whole body had been frozen...as the penguin looked up with almost no pity in his eye, he tried to use a final move to destroy the cow...but his powers had been drained...suddenly he felt sleepy...and he fell flat on his face again...passing out...
when he awoke, he realized the cow had put him under...he looked around unaware of his surroundings...and vowed there and then, revenge on this cow...he would someday be strong enough to take him....he would someday be strong enough to...destroy...him....as he picked up a small piece of paper...he walked along the alaskan ground....not grieving his family anymore...not caring about his life...death was all he knew...pain was all he'd give....the evil penguin seeking his new army...to destroy the world....
the penguin was now ready to begin collecting all sorts of data, personal files, corporate records, even files containing information of people living around the world...the penguin was about to start building his faction....he went through countless files of people and came across a select few of freelancers that did work around the world for whoever for whatever.....hank, the demolition man; fox, the sniper; ken, the reconnaissance man; chuck, the wheel man; and james, their leader....they were one of the most elite groups in the world and internationaly reknown in the underground of the world....the penguin convinced the group to join his evil scheme, promising each of them a supplement of 20$ million dollars and the region of the midway islands, phillipines, and japan....once the world had been ruled by the penguin.....the group accepted....who wouldn't...i mean c'mon, one of the best resorts in the world....anyyways.....
the penguin called his little 'group' ups...universial penguin services....doing jobs throughout the world, stealing, killing, taking over, everything, for more information check out the ups site and look at the orginal ups...the penguin was about to gather everything he needed when something he had no idea existed, would become his most vaulable assett...the mad man, william scott.....while ups and the evil penguin were in the storage facility stealing supplies, a few doctors came in shocked at their presense...the evil penguin easily turned them to ice with his deadly "phrostbyte"...the move which made the evil penguin famous with the ladies...they took the supplies, and were almost caught again...but they slipped into a patients room and grabbed some coats and get the man up out of the bed, dressed him in it also, and wrapped up the penguin to escape undetected...the man was saying how thankful he was for his collegaues to come see him....rambling about completing a project of mass proportions...they took him with them...his mind would be of use to the penguin...suddenly....we interviewed a random person...
aninprisonedcow: would you mind answering a few questions for acc?
angi747386onedcow: roo from a current conspiracy
aninprisonedcow: would you mind?
angi747386: buh~bye
aninprisonedcow: omg its neo also said unblock him
angi747386: wha?
aninprisonedcow: don't ask me that's just what he said
angi747386: bye
aninprisonedcow: hey, he said it not me
aninprisonedcow: don't blame me for something he said you know
auto response from angi747386: *-hey peoples~! im away from my computer right now but if ya hold a for a lil bit i might be back!!! but if ya really gots ta talk to me then call me on my cell~!
aninprisonedcow: how come u be hating on me when it's neo who said unblock him!?
angi747386: i ain' even worried bout you bye!
aninprisonedcow: =o i can't believe you just called me that!
aninprisonedcow: how could u call me the...the b word....
aninprisonedcow: all i'm sayin is i'm not the one who said unblock me!
aninprisonedcow: so you don't gotta be callin me a bye and getting all up in my face like that
aninprisonedcow: you know what i'm sayin?
aninprisonedcow: cause i didn't say *anything*
aninprisonedcow: and then all of a sudden you're killin the messanger!
neo steps in to help with the brigade......
ne0eskim0: alright thats it, first you won't unblock me, the u shut down my homie? nu uh girl ::snaps across face:: i know you did not
auto response from angi747386: *-hey peoples~! im away from my computer right now but if ya hold a for a lil bit i might be back!!! but if ya really gots ta talk to me then call me on my cell~!
roo comes into the action after aninprisonedcow was blocked....
stoptheants: all i'm saying is it's just not fair for you to be mad at me when it's neo who said it
stoptheants: i mean you know..it's just not my problem for you to be callin me a bye and for you to be hating me...we can work this out you know...
roo switches screen names...cause she's block crazy...
ieatcraons: i mean you know..it's just not my problem for you to be callin me a bye and for you to be hating me...we can work this out you know...
ieatcraons: it's just not fair...why don't you just relax?? i mean it's not like i said it
ieatcraons: it's just that i really care...and you're just throwin it in my face! throwing it like dirt into my face!
ieatcraons: i can't believe you sometimes you're just so stubborn
ieatcraons: why do you do this to me?!
ieatcraons: whhhhyyyyyyyyy
ieatcraons: thank you for your time...
an evil pillow comes into the scene....this is where things get dirty in the world of cops..bad boys bad boys whatcha gooooooowna do...
anevilpillow: i'm an evil pillow..
anevilpillow: boo....
anevilpillow: aaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhh!!!!!!!
anevilpillow: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh hhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anevilpillow: i'm eating your eeeeeyyyyyyyeeeeessssss!!!!!!!!!!
welp...she's dead...shoulda listened to acc...with no home base yet...the faction was on the run everywhere....now they were headed out of the uk to escape the police.....when they landed in spain...william scott was perfectly fine and had already decided to join with the penguin along.......one day ken was showing the group a neat trick he learned from his great uncle brian....he put tin foil around his head and got down to an ant out in the field where they were staying....he did the impossible...he mind controlled an ant....william scott was amazed at this awesome technique of mind controlling....he told all of his peers...and they started to study it more....while one day they followed a trail of ants back to their home base to see what the number of ants he could control with a single thought.....the whole colony of ants looked up at william scott....as william scott continued to study the ants...about 7 months went by...while ups and the penguin were out gathering items and such...william scott and co. discovered something unreal...a super colony of ants...from spain to france into the uk..even a link to egypt and italy....this would be the largest colony of ants ever discovered in modern history....when the penguin returned he informed william scott that they had to leave soon to avoid getting caught....william scott told the penguin about the colony and told william scott (yes, he told himself...) to take some ants with him, since this type of ant could not be found anywhere else in the world because of the exact genetics of the ants were all alike.....they soon went to the only place they wouldn't look for penguins...
when the faction arrived in arizona....the faction had been bitten and stung by the ants...everyone blamed william scott......they came across their lair in arizona....in the deep caves under the desert of arizona, william scott started to clone many ants into bigger ants and finally came upon the giant ants clone...the penguin ordered william scott to mass produce these giant form of ants to strengthen his army....william scott did so and they soon needed a new base, which was already found by ups...while doing research on canada with geological data for weaknesses, they came across something huge under the icy upper world of canada....the exact location is unknown...but they left very very quickly....so fast they forgot some stuff..hehehe......here's neo....with a spectator...
theprincess245: naw
theprincess245: what' do u wanna ask me??
omg its neo: why do you think the evil penguin chose canada for the place for his lair?
theprincess245: i have no idea what so ever
omg its neo: if you were the evil penguin, why would u choose it?
theprincess245: why would i chose canada
theprincess245: well the one time i went to Canada it was awesome and there were tons of hot Canadian guys
omg its neo: lol thanks
there you have it...hot canadian guys...but of course that's not why the penguin went...and now let's ask someone the exact same question...hmm...what was neo thhiiiiiinking?!
omg its neo: hey, this is neo,check this www.acurrentconspiracy.com, can i ax u a few questions?
lorine06: sure, proceed with the questions, captain neo
omg its neo: why do you think the evil penguin would chose the icy world of upper canada for his lair?
lorine06: becausem, icy=cold=evil, and since it's a well known fact that penguins are pure evil, it all makes perfect sense!
lorine06: plus, everyone knows candaians are dumb, so the penguins done't have to worry about them figureing out their plans for world domination
omg its neo: well madam, in this case, this penguin became evil a long long long time ago, ups, the penguins elite group of minions, like the navy seals, do you think they pose the biggest threat over the giant ant colony, gnatsees with switchblades, or even the evil pillows....that you sleep on...=-O?
lorine06: well, i would have to say the giant ant colony, bcuz it is also a well known fact, even though penguins are very high on the dumbest creatures on earth list, ants are about the only thing higher than them (aside from canadians) plus anything with a switch blade will be able to ward off penguins, and the evil pillows will just mess with the evil, but stupid, penguin mind
omg its neo: yes, many agree with you that the giant ant colony are deadly, however, the evil penguin is the leader of them all.....i thought u knew what u were talking about?? control, get her outta here....
::lorine dragged off...:: well, she's definately dissin on that evil penguin! but what we know now is far worse than we thought...the penguin had more than just a faction...he had an army, ready to attack the world in many different ways....the gnatsee, flying through the air at lightning speed...switchblade hands...assassin-like accuracy, these little insects can slash through most kevlar and some are even known to smash through bullet proof glass, soon dieing after their sacrifice...the ground trooper giant ant is truely a massive warrior...though slow in speed, their mandables can crush a car as we've personally seen at acc...the recon and night group, the evil pillows lie in wait...and are actually the pillows you use to sleep on modified by the alwave...their glowing red eyes and sharp fangs make them the top of the food chain for random beings sleeping on them....yes...even your doggie....muahahahahaha!!!!!....ahem...nigil, the penguin's knight, with his timeshifting ability, could destroy nations with ease...he carries the excalibur and often fights double team with himself because of his lightning speed....elmp controls minielmps and actually has the penguin's blood inside of him...he is the master of muppets...and they will bite your shins like *nothing*!!!! and finally, william scott which mass produces many of these things...along with ups, the penguin is nearly unstoppable...
unstoppable...if you think thats unstoppable...he's got something else...the ice beam....the ice beam...or should i say ice beam...i mean..ice beams...are stragically throughout the world hidden from prying eyes....only some of the beams are known...we pin-pointed about twenty on the surface waters of the oceans....but who knows if they are underwater as well....some other known are in the heart of dallas...easily disguised as night clubs....ahhahaahahaaaahahahaaaahahaahahahaha that so makes me wanna lmboahctbagtwtsbawagtftpctitaoyiwsoujwvcrbtjwsfimmlshisotffme!!!!!!!...ahem...once the ice beam commences, it accelerates the clouds to take all the water from the ground...it then releases this mass amount of water, as ice and snow in one giant avalanche...the world would be covered in this icy death-hole if it were to launch...let's just hope acc gets to it before it is...the penguin will stop at nothing to rule the world....
the penguin's phrostbyte is a deadly and accurate weapon...acc might not even be able to defeat his massive assault against the world...no weakness...no mercy...oderless...well...maybe not oderless...he actually smells like "sheer"....ultra dry......but why would the penguin wear deoderent you ask? to be...oderless...of course, phrostbyte annialates most foes with a single touch of his hand...as we see from nigil's conspiracy...he only had to touch him to flash him into the wall, freezing him to the core, even with his massive time-teleporting ability...the penguin's wings actually create small ice blades...with these he could most likely slice through most glass, and even somemoo types of quebic zarconia...so what if it's not diamond!! he can still do it! well he can!!! the penguin also uses his icy breathe to freeze enemies from afar...he is one massive amount of penguin meat...he also occasionally takes walks on the beach...to kill!!!!!!! so if you see a penguin walkin along the beach on a nice warm day...you might want to go over there and give him a big hug...if you wanna die!!!!!!!!! otherwise...whew...i'd run....
though the evil penguin is a formidable opponent, and his minions are unmatched by other factions, acc fights with the same strength we've always had...each day passes, yet another archive is added to the collection of information....soon the penguin will topple...but not without the help of acc's fans...ebay...lots of nuclear fallout...tons of blue rush...a seeing eye midget....just for kicks...a cow that can talk....and a massively intelligent ai named bordan...not to mention the acc cameramen...who's life expectancy is...3 conspiracies...at best....well...that's all for now...until next time...this's roo...and neo...signing off...
-roo and ne0eskim0
orginal concept by william
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