elmo, the cute, the red, the famous monster right? wrong....elmo's story is a dreadfully painful one to listen to....well not exactly...it all started in the year 1996 when elmo...rich and famous from embezzling rosie o' something's fortune and his success with tickle me elmos he bought it all....a giant mansion....exotic cars...even rumors of jim henson production studio....it seemed he was destined to go down as the most rich person in history....then one night...neighbors heard horrible high pitched noises however...since high pitch noises from elmo were always present especially when he would yell "hook da elmo up!!!" on his fake telephone repeatedly for hours on end...no one noticed...but they remember something about "no! elmo won't let you clone elmo!! never!"....the next day police found a ransom note stained with blood and covered in ice....
if you ever want to see your precious elmo again you will....many times!!!!!!!!! muahahahaha...ahem....
the penguin...
the penguin saw how successful elmo had become...seeing how much children and adults adored his crazy antics and the way he talked in third person every chance he got....he knew he was a deranged necessity to include to his army....taking elmo back to his lab things had dawned apon him....evil experiments to drain his life....to tranform him into an evil slave....william scott began experimenting testing his edges and his vulnerabilities....during one...something went wrong....while testing with the penguin's blood elmo's mind began to twist into an evil being of hellbent fury....soon he became the penguin's slave but his mind couldn't take as much and turned to croyola crayons..in his fury he began to run across walls shattering deadly chemicals to the floor finally he lost his grip and fell into a cloning vat...it began spitting out mini elmos...thousands covering the floors blood red all laughing hysterically...the most hideous of all things created by man...the penguin had an idea...the perfect way to infiltrate every home...tickle him elmos....he failed to remember that it should be "tickle elmo elmos" because of his maniac view on third person speech....but they still were hugely popular and his plot went perfectly in hand...elmo's name was forever changed to elmp....elmo loves master penguin...elmp's mind was twisted but his high pitch voice and speech were exactly the same stating "elmp hate fried rice" repeatedly....soon he adjusted but didn't grow any smarter...william scott created hundreds of mini elmps soon after he began to regain his composure into evil elmp they were still diseased...and stupid...but it created elmp...the master of muppets...the diseased clones were perfect however, giving whoever they bit rabies...now the rare never released last press interview with elmp by spun magazine only here...at acc...
spun: with your recent success with tickle him elmos opposed to the popular....tickle...me....how did you release both and still have the great result with both of them?
elmo: elmp successful because elmp is master of muppets!
spun: well being the best out of the muppet characters does have that kind of effect on you...how are you dealing with all the fame and fortune?
elmo: elmp deal with fame by being penguin's slave and fortune by buying spun magazine
spun: that's great to hear...moving...wait did you say buying spun magazine?
elmo: elmp pwns you!!! penguin pwns me!! penguin pwns you!!!!!!!!!!
spun: why do you keep using p for os elmo?
elmo: elmp not elmo!! the evil penguin will rule!!!
spun: heh..alright....so who's this penguin you've been talking about? is he your new manager?
elmo: elmp love master penguin!!!! penguin made me!!!
spun: haha..that's very comical...so how are you taking these rumors of you being "evil" and "twisted"?
elmo: rumors elmps behind!!!!!! elmp twisted! elmp evil!! elmp fire you!!! elmp eat your head!!!!
soon after the "accident" as it was reported elmp disappeared only seen in his cloned toys soon a new breed came to be "my personal elmp" parents could clearly see that it was elmo but they all figured it was a mistake in the boxing and bought it anyways...it was again a brand new hit....no one ever read the surgeons general warning....which is seen here....
here's a cow...an inprisoned cow...to report from his solitude in prison...
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anInprisonedCow: mind answering a few questions for a current conspiracy?
ruffryder007X: who dis
anInprisonedCow: um imma cow coming straight to u from acc hq
ruffryder007X: aight
anInprisonedCow: so do you mind answering a few questions?
ruffryder007X: nah
anInprisonedCow: alright what do you think about the famed "elmo"
ruffryder007X: that thing from sesame street
anInprisonedCow: yep the red thing that looks like it's on fire
ruffryder007X: lol
ruffryder007X: i think hes gay
anInprisonedCow: you know if he did catch on fire and started screaming
people would think that's normal because he's always screaming
ruffryder007X: lol
anInprisonedCow: elmo recently changed his name to elmp why do you think this
may be?
ruffryder007X: i dont know
anInprisonedCow: well this truly means "elmo loves master penguin" do you
think this might have anything to do with the rumored "firedance" that elmo
does on top of his house? what are your opinions on this namechange?
ruffryder007X: i think that he should stay wit da name elmo
ruffryder007X: r u a boy or a girl
anInprisonedCow: yes well some say "elmo" means "eloping lakes move over" and
some even go to say that his last name is truly thehills
anInprisonedCow: i'm a cow what do you expect
ruffryder007X: a boy or girl cow
anInprisonedCow: well what do you expect me to be an alien
ruffryder007X: no i expect u 2 be a boy cow or a girl cow
anInprisonedCow: i am a boy or a girl cow yeah...didn't even haveta flip a
coin there
anInprisonedCow: "heads" op too late you already knew
ruffryder007X: which one r u
anInprisonedCow: so back to elmo how many sitcoms has elmo actually played in
besides the rosie o something show....
anInprisonedCow: and do you think rosie has that many "tickle me elmo" dolls?
ruffryder007X: like 6 and probably more
anInprisonedCow: i know elmo is somewhat of a pyromaniac if he wanted to be
tickled he would probly just light himself on fire maybe they should make
"flaming elmo" sales would go through the roof you know
ruffryder007X: lol
anInprisonedCow: what is with rosie's obsession with koosh balls? isn't that
kind of strange i mean...they're a bunch of rubber bands...with a face
anInprisonedCow: what's your opinion on them?
ruffryder007X: i dont care 4 dem
anInprisonedCow: do you think they have anything to do with rosie's
miraculous muscles...or is this just...what some call...
anInprisonedCow: fat
ruffryder007X: lol
anInprisonedCow: well i guess you could say elmo changed his name because
he's in the witness protection program but all in all elmo is under the
penguin's control and obeying his every command this's an inprisoned
cow....signing off
thanks an inprisoned cow now we go to neo in the feild....the feild...of dreams...ok not that feild..but whatever...where neo is interviewing a innocent bystander.....well could have commited a couple of crimes but...we'll forgive em....
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omg its neo: hey mind answering a few questions for a current
conspiracy?
fallenoptimist: shoot
fallenoptimist: yes i believe midgets are assembling a communist army
with a headquarters based in eastern Idaho.
omg its neo: no way! u believe it too!
omg its neo: lol j/k
fallenoptimist: whats up?
omg its neo: anyways, what do you believe about the relationship between
the penguin and elmo?
fallenoptimist: batman penguin?
fallenoptimist: and henson elmo?
omg its neo: no the evil penguin, and use that elmo
fallenoptimist: evil penguin was from batman, right?
omg its neo: not that penguin, this penguin is a smart evil demented
penguin trying to ice the world with his iceray and help from his evil
minions, pokemon, boy bands, ricky martin, those gay ppl and giant ants
fallenoptimist: was i supposed to know about this penguin already?
omg its neo: well yea, lol well no your briefed
fallenoptimist: ok..
fallenoptimist: well, where is this penguin from?
omg its neo: unknown, but rumored in scattered islands of canada
fallenoptimist: eastern canada, or Yukon territory?
omg its neo: above yukon, below greenland
fallenoptimist: hmm
fallenoptimist: defintily evil then.
fallenoptimist: no doubt..
fallenoptimist: probably has some napoleonic complex
omg its neo: i agree but about elmo
fallenoptimist: hmm
omg its neo: recently changed his name to elmp
omg its neo: "elmo loves master penguin"
fallenoptimist: i think elmo is the protagonist in this riveting world
domination scheme
omg its neo: what do you believe may be the reason?
fallenoptimist: the penguin stole elmo's cottage cheese recipe book.
omg its neo: cottage cheese, does elmp love cheese?
fallenoptimist: of the cottage variety, it is rumored
omg its neo: really thx for infoming acc www.acurrentconspiracy.com
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as you see..america knows...or maybe it doesn't know...and you don't see..but elmp is a demented mindless servant of the penguin possessing evil powers and doing the penguin's will as a pawn in the penguin's game of supremacy. now elmp, the once famous, has now become a servant of the penguin.....
-roo and ne0eskim0
orginal concept by william
