update of my life

At least 2 times a month--and this per my medical assistant--I say I am going to quit my job. I come into the clinic flustered because 2 hours spent prior to coming to the clinic I have worked on refills or lab review OR I have done the same until 1-2 in the morning and am sleep deprived.

I'm tired!

I get home and I spend time with the kids, try to cook if my mom hasn't done so already, put them to sleep and then at 10pm I'm back to reviewing labs, med refills, or answering some very mundane questions from patients.

I'm tired!

It is Saturday and everything I didn't get to during the week I am trying to do this morning. I'm wondering if life is any better outside of the under-served public health sector. There are many patients I like and many who are grateful. But I'm exhausted--I think they are too needy not just financially, but in everything else like life direction. And I'm tired of being a social worker.

Please, United Way, stop asking me for direct access to my paycheck! I go through all your red tape and give money straight to the people who need it . . .the patients. How many people have needed a $1 for the bus or $20 for their meds. Some have no shame, some don't want to ask, but I feel for them.

One patient comes to me all the time with the same story . . . she has run out of money for her meds. She has medicare but hasn't signed up for medicare part d. I have documented every visit of how I have gone out of my way to get her medicare part d and she takes no active role to pursue it. I have 3 of her bank statements so I know she doesn't make much at all and qualifieds for help but she does NOTHING about it--well, except come to me and the ER. So now I have to do it again. This takes more than the 10 min alotted to see a patient.

And people ask me why I don't want to pick up another extra shift on Saturdays!

The thing that keeps me sane is that I do have a living God who on top of everyone else and this blog that I don't really keep, LISTENS. and family, and friends . . . and uh facebook.