h20

it's been a year since we moved into this house, pre-owned. I still love it, but as we were watching Tv last night, we heard the sound of rushing water come from our bedroom. our tub faucet had turned on by itself as it had a week before. no it's not a poltergeist phenomenon--just a faulty washer.

so here we are unbathed b/c we had to turn off the main water supply. I've been washing my hands with water in a pitcher I saved earlier.. husband has already tried to fix this and has been to and from home depot buying this and that. 3 times he went and with escalating frustration may I add. he's excellent at fixing things and I really didn't want to have him call the plumber, but if husband can't do it, I guess we have to let the plumber swindle us out of money.

so now we wait.

evaluations

my faculty evals have been good. my cardiology attending however wrote that I'm too quiet. I agree, I was. I mean there was really not much to say if it didn't concern a patient. plus, I only saw the guy for an hour a day. I am not quiet towards my upper levels, the cardiology fellow, nurses, staff, etc. I'm just not a brown noser. At least, h/w, he noted that I have a "good fund of knowledge."

are we ever content

NPR segment yesterday interviewed people who made 6 figures per year. these people thought they were middle-class and not rich. then a wife whose income was 1 million/year stated that even she considered herself middle class and that she considered people who had millions in savings rich. none of these people could express that they were content--always looking to the joneses.

the doctor who i am currently working with is an ex-family practitioner who is now in wound care and making the bucks. he loved primary care, but he wasn't making enough. the guy bought a 17 acre ranch a few years ago--that's a lifestyle change. I've met anesthesiologists who left primary care because the medicare/medicaid/ insurance reimbursements were dwindling. I guess they wanted to be making more for the time they were putting into their jobs. Or is it that more you make, the more you're going to want and the more discontent you will feel. Even Madonna mentioned in her VH-1 interview that none of her material things have made her happy and only now is she beginning to see her "soul's state."

why am I mulling over this? I'm am one year into my residency and I don't want to feel i've made the wrong career choice just because of money. But at the moment, I still don't know what it is like to be physician in the "real" world. Will I feel wronged b/c of the sacrifice of time in training and in working as do many other physicians?

well if it comes down to the money thing, i'm happy with the average primary care salary. that's enough for me. i need to pay my loans off after all. What ever happens to primary care, i'm sticking with it. I'm not going to go do another residency when i'm 40 years old, that'll give me a massive myocardial infarction for sure. I just need to remind myself to be content whatever the circumstance.

old friends

an old friend of mine from high school started writing me again. we're both happily married now and exchanged insights into high school life. Neither us bothered to go to our reunion We feigned disinterest as our culprit for not going when in fact both of us were dying to know what became of everyone--even those we hardly knew. He updated me on some people, but the one thing that bothered us, however, was that my prom date has not kept in touch with us. we both saw his name on "Classmates.com," but were too cheap to pay $20 to get his email. We even "googled" him, but only found some guy who worshipped 280ZXs--he did not match my prom date's picture.

we discussed how my prom date was as aloof as you can get. I remember when he asked me to the prom he was so non-chalant when I knew he didn't have other people lined up anyway. On the day of the prom he picked me up in a SUV and I had to haul myself up into the passenger seat. We were friends which lessened the awkwardness, but I WAS in heels, chiffon, and sweating in the Texas summer heat. come on dude, help me out here!

I wonder what became of him. I wasn't sure what career he was headed towards. Most of my friends were fairly predictable, but this one wasn't. If my curiosity gets the best of me, I just may fork over that $20 but I doubt it.

patients

since i'm on my elective rotation, I'm doing 4 half day's of clinic/week. Life is good, because clinic is what I love. I still, however, have trouble telling patients that I can only go over a few of their problems and that they'll have to wait for another appointment to address others. I just don't do it. these people are poor enough and don't have the time to keep these follow-up appointments. supposedly , in the real world, people only come to the doctor with 1or 2 problems. Unfortunately for me, i'll probably stay in indigent care for a while anyway and never know what that real world is like.

vacation

I'm on vacation again. We have 3 weeks of vacation per resident year and I was lucky enough to have mine right before CCU and right after maternity. Next, I'll be on an elective and it'll be back to maternity and wards for 8 weeks.

No hawaii this time, no money. Plus, I just need time to veg at home. We ended up doing some long awaited landscaping in our front yard. We had done so much work so fast when we bought this house a year ago, that we got really burned out. We decided we'd let the yard go until this spring.

neighbors

Working out in the yard is like a social outlet. The neighbors came out and waved while some others down the street drove over to hi. One asked us how we've liked the neighborhood and when we had mentioned the year had been great, he told us he thought we had only been there 3 months. Yeah, we haven't been out much.

While watering our shrubs, I watched the kids across the street race each other on their bicycles. They played as if they owned the street, yelling at the top of their lungs "CAR!!!" Here I am, on the other side of life. I used to be those kids playing kickball in the street or running after the ice cream truck.

reading rainbow

In between watching Saddam's statue topple over and Iraqi people rush to jump all over it, I tuned into Reading Rainbow. I love that show. I even know the lyrics to the theme song. I'm making my kids watch that show, it's great.

pilates

for about 6 months I've been fighting the urge to get the Windsor Pilates videos that Daisy Fuentes vouches for on her infomercial. I finally got them 2 weeks ago and so far I have to say they're worth it. the movements are slow but very controlled. They remind me of our workouts during dance practice when I used to dance with the philippine performing arts as a teen. those were the days when I didn't have to worry about my stomach.

What is it about getting married that just makes you gain weight? Or was it that I turned 25 that year? I don't know, but I'm thinking I have one year to have a very flat stomach right before I decide to start trying to get pregnant. I figure it'll be harder to lose weight after pregancy and I'll just have to say good-bye to my 5 year dream of having a janet jackson stomach. Yes, these are one of the many issue that pervade the mind of an aging woman.

Have I mentioned that the two residents on with me on my maternity rotation have a baby on the way? couple that with the fact that I see babies everyday and you'll know why I'm getting the baby bug!!!

retreat

we had a family practice retreat today w/c was semi- boring, but we spent some time outdoors so that made it worth it. I love the smell of spring--while driving back today, I just got that deja vu feeling of my 2nd semester senior year in high school. My GPA was frozen, my parents finally let me drive to school, and my only worry was finding a date to senior prom.