OC quotes .:seth cohen's humor:.

the proposal

Marissa: Besides, I'm not the only one crying.
Seth: What? I'm not crying. It's allergies. Besides, there's a lot of pollen in here.

Or...

Seth: I'm sorry? What? I'm allergic, okay? And there’s so much pollen in here right now, it's ridiculous. Hey, tomorrow we're watchin football, okay?

Sandy: I like to anticipate the worst at all times. It's a Cohen family trait.

Marissa: I don’t know. Because the guy I lost my virginity to had sex with my mom?!

Summer: How can you live like this? Your t-shirts are touching your sweaters.

Summer: They say you're external life, influences your internal life.
Seth: Yeah? Who says that?
Summer: I read it in Elle Decor.
Seth: Did you?
Summer: Yeah, you're favorite magazine.
Seth: You read?

Seth: I did it. Look.
Summer: Wow, you hit a nail. Bob Vila's your bitch, Cohen.

Seth: Yeah so do you really think a little Feng Shui would make her forget her mom slept with her ex-boyfriend?

Summer: You cry during chick flicks, you don't want to go to the hardware store. What's next? You walk in on Ryan changing?
Seth: C’mon that's crazy. Hey, let's go to the hardware store.

Summer: You have to find the stud. Go get the stud-finder.
Seth: The stud? Oh Summer I think you've found him. You're the stud-finder!

Summer: You were in the comic book club?
Seth: Yeah. President and only member.

Summer: Do you see this hammer in my hand?
Seth : Yeah, let me find that stud ... finder. What's it look like?
Summer: And a level.
Seth: What is a level?
Summer: Don't you know what a level is?
Seth: Yeah, it's something you advance to in a video game.
Summer: That's funny ... yeah. The tool doesn't know about tools.

Seth: I did it. Look.
Summer: Wow, you hit a nail. Bob Vila's your bitch, Cohen.

Kirsten: My dad is marrying Julie Cooper. Julie Cooper ... is my step-mom.
Sandy: Maybe we'll get you another bottle.
Jimmy: Yeah, drink up.
Kirsten: This is an unholy alliance. This is two storm fronts colliding. This is the apocalypse for us all.

Caleb: Marissa, your mother is a wonderful woman.
Marissa: She is?

Seth: Hey, oh ... sorry. I'm surprised that hasn't happened before. Not saying I'm disappointed it hasn't happened before just saying the mathematical probability of ...
Ryan: Yeah, crying during chick flicks, walking in on me getting dressed ...
Seth: Yeah, what's your point? K, I'm not seeing what you're getting at? Do you work out?
Ryan: Not really.
Seth: Cool, me neither. I'm gonna go watch some hockey.
Ryan: Hockey season's over.
Seth: Damnit.

Seth: Where you going?
Ryan: Gonna go find Luke. Beat the crap out of him.
Seth: Oh, where shall this can of whoop-ass be opened?

Marissa: So what do you want for lunch? I can do mac and cheese or mac and cheese.

Kirsten: No, there is nothing good about what's happened here. I mean, this marriage is an asteroid that has hit the earth. Now we just have to wait to see what species survives.

Seth: I'm gonna go pee. Ok. So if anyone asks, that's where I am. For a while.
Ryan: Right.
Marissa: He's getting weirder.
Ryan: I didn't think that was possible.

Seth: Summer did the all the building, and the heavy lifting, and the wiring of the electronics. But I did the painting. I know you're a Paris fan.

Seth: [surveys room] If you did put a mirror against that opposing wall, it would help the energy flow. I see where you’re going with this

Summer: Was I really mean to you?
Seth: No, Summer ... to be mean you would have had to speak to me.

Seth: Excellent. I'm extremely stealth. 1996 All-School hide and seek champion. I do believe Joel Gordon is still looking for me, the fool.

Luke: Welcome to Portland, bitch.

Seth: So she'll watch after you with her Care Bear Stare?
Ryan: How do you know about the Care Bear Stare?