OC quotes .:seth cohen's humor:.

The Escape

Seth: I know denial is a very powerful coping mechanism, but I just think, that it's time that we paid lip service to our lip service.

Summer: I am positive that I'm leaving this place with a rash.
Seth: So, you're planning on making some extra money tonight?

Seth : We have my mom's ranger, we have a perfect alibi as i go to this comic book convention every year and we also have my entire life never doing anything wrong. Which completely allows my parents to give a false sense of trust.
Ryan : And you want to give that all away for Summer in a wet t-shirt doing body shots.
Seth : (pause) Sorry, i thought that was a rhetorical question. Yes, Ryan, yes. On the last weekend before school, one goes to Tijuana, it is tradition, it is a right of passage, and you know what else? What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.
Ryan: What happens in Mexico?
Seth: I don't know because it stays there! That's why we must go.

[on the way to TJ]
Summer: 80 is the new 70.
Seth: What? Who talks like that?
Summer: Who gets passed by a van full of nuns? Oh, wait.. Cohen does.
Seth: Well, they have God on their side, Summer. I'm not gonna beat Jesus.

Sandy : Remember all the numbers?
seth : Yes, dad, i remember our phone number.
Sandy : Did you get any water? Huh? Extra batteries? Did you get some air in the tires? Did you put gas in the tank?
Seth : [exasperated] It's amazing I turned out so normal.

Ryan : Why can't we just go to Comic-con?
Seth : Okay, Comic-gon is just a bunch of pathetic virgins ogling some porn star dressed as Cat Woman.
Ryan : I thought you went every year.

Summer : It is just too hot to save anyone. Speaking of hot, I can't believe you and Luke. That you guys did it! You have to tell me everything, i've been waiting for this forever.
Marissa : You have?
Summer : you've seen it before
Marissa : C'mon
Summer : touched it?
Marissa : Summer! It's a secret act between two people,
Summer : It was a letdown, right? Kinda hurt? totally awkward?

Marissa : Well, it's not like I had anything to compare it to.
Summer : So? do it again, it is way better the second time.

Sandy : So, how soon until you two are leaving on your trip ?
Seth : I don't know. (looks at Ryan) How soon?
Ryan : Tomorrow.
Seth : Don't you mean El manana?

Sandy : Hey, Summer. Sandy Cohen, I'm Seth's dad. [shakes her hand] I had no idea you were into comic books.
Summer : Comic books? Ew.
Seth : She goes for the anime.

Summer: You're Jewish?
Seth: Yes. That's why I feel so comfortable in this desert heat.

Summer : It's like one guitar and a whole lot of complaining.
Seth : This reminds me of someone else who's doing a whole lot of complaining, Summer. YOU. Listen to me, I am driving this vehicle, and i will drive at the speed i feel comfortable, okay? It's my music, it's my snacks-
Summer : Kudos and goldfish? what are you, 8?
Seth : Ryan, Marissa, say goodbye to Summer.

[enter motel room]
Summer : Ew.
Seth : It's not exactly the honeymoon suite.
Marissa : Well, it's only for one night. Until the axel's fixed.
Summer : That's nothing to brag about. Sweet, do we have to pay extra for the pubes ? This is so gross, i can not stay here.
Ryan : well, unless you feel like hitchhiking again.
Summer : No thank you. I've had enough time in a truck full of chickens.

Marissa : Hey guys can we try to be positive, here?
Seth : Yeah, okay, i am positive that this is Summer's fault.

Summer : Get off the bed. The sooner i go to sleep, the sooner it'll be morning and the sooner this nightmare will be over. ... I'm not sleeping on that couch. It's stained and smells foul. You sleep there.
Seth : After you made it sound so appealing, yeah, right, okay, good night.
Summer : C'mon get off the bed!
Seth : Nope.
Summer : Be like, a gentleman?
Seth : Chivalry's dead, sugar.
[Summer reluctantly gets into bed]
Summer : [glares at Seth] You make a move, I rip out your jugular.
Seth : Hey, pillow talk.

[seth and summer having breakfast reading newspaper. They trade newspaper in unison. Seth pushes his toast to summer, while Summer takes a bite of it. S&S both pick up their tea/coffee in unison, freezing when they realize what they just did, they both put down their newspapers]
Seth: So...Tijuana.
Summer: Yea.
Seth: You think we should've woken up Ryan and Marissa?
Summer: no, they looked so cute together. Vomit.
Seth : Hey it's a real sentimental streak you got there, summer.
Summer : Trouser it, Cohen. It's too early for your so called comedy.
Seth : You enjoy my comedy.[Summer gives him a look]
Seth : You know what else I think you enjoy? Me.
Summer : Well, that's because you're mentally unstable.
Seth : Be that as it may, I think that facts speak for themselves. May i remind you of a little something I'd like to call, the time you kissed me by the pool at my grandfather's birthday party.
Summer : What're you talking about?
Seth : okay, i know that denial is a very powerful coping mechanism. But i just think Summer, that it's time that we paid lip service to our lip service.
Summer : Two words: no tongue.
Seth : Well, you did agree to take this little trip down to mexico.
Summer : I needed a ride.
Seth : We shared the same bed.
Summer : I wasn't going to sleep on the couch, it smelled like these eggs
Seth : You ate my toast, Summer.
Summer : I like crusts, Seth.
Seth : Face it, our chemistry is undeniable.
Summer : You know what else is undeniable?
Seth : What?
Summer : the pain this fork is going to cause when i jam it into your EYE!!

Summer : [apologetic smile] I suffer from rage blackouts.
Seth : i'm just, uh, check. [waves the waiter]

Summer : Where's Coop?
Ryan : Taking a shower.
Summer : I hope she's wearing shower shoes

Seth: I still don't understand why we needed to get two rooms. I'm gonna leave you my key, just in case you get lonely.
Summer: Or, in case, I wanna smother you with your pillow while you're sleeping.
Seth: Whatever turns you on.

Ryan : So, i have to pick wisely, ding dongs and cheese sticks?
Marissa : I don't know, pick whatever.
Ryan : I don't care either, so...
Marissa : So i, guess we'll all just starve.
Ryan : Are you ever going to stop being mad at me?
Marissa : I'm not mad at you.
Ryan : Right.
Marissa : Well, why would i be mad at you?
Ryan : Because you walked in on me with another girl?
Marissa : Actually, i think she was a woman. But why would i care about that?
Ryan : I don't know. shouldn't be a problem
Marissa : There's no problem.
Ryan : Cept' ding dongs or cheese sticks.
Marissa: I don't care, Ryan. I don't care about cheese sticks, i don't care about ding dongs and i really don't care that i walked in on you with some girl, or woman, whatever.
Ryan: The only reason i was with her was because you were clearly back with Luke.
Marissa: I was not back with Luke.
Ryan: But you are now right?
Marissa : right.
Ryan: good
Marissa : great, so we'll just go to mexico split up so we don't have to talk to each other over again.
Ryan Sounds like a plan. By the way, you could've knocked first.
Marissa: Did you ever wonder why i went to the pool house to find you?
Ryan: Everyday. Here's your chance. Clear the air. Tell me.
Marissa: Cheese sticks, i hate ding dongs.

Summer : Baby, I'm so sorry. Whatever you want to do, Coop. But if i may, speaking as a child of divorce, you do not want to be home right now. And this is our last chance for freedom, we get back to Newport and it's all just school and reality. Let's go to TJ, have fun. Life will suck soon enough.
Ryan : She might.. actually be right.
Seth : there's got to be a first time for everything.
[everyone in the room looks at him]
Seth : Rage black outs, got it. I'll be in the car.

[Summer starts to run and kick Holly's ass but Seth pulls her back]
Summer : Her parents are getting divorced, you stupid slut!
Seth : She suffers from rage blackouts.