OC quotes .:seth cohen's humor:.

The Girlfriend

Kirsten: Maybe you guys can make peace this weekend?
Sandy: Okay. Oh. Oh no wait we can’t.
Kirsten: Why?
Sandy: I’m still Jewish . . . Just getting it out of my system, I promise.

Kirsten: Wonder what his new girlfriend is like.
Sandy: I’m sure she is very well paid . . . I am on fire.

Ryan: So your grandpa, he basically owns Newport, right?
Seth: Yes. And much like yourself he comes from a humble beginning. You guys will probably hit it off.
Ryan: I burned down one of his homes.
Seth: Yeah, but it was an accident. He has like a million of them, it’s probably not even on his radar.

Gabrielle: And this birthday party for Caleb, it’s kind of like a who’s who in Newport. Should be wild, huh? . . . I’m being sarcastic.
Seth: Ah, yes. We don’t get a lot of that around here.

Gabrielle: Can I join you guys?
Ryan: Yeah
Seth: Yeah
Ryan: No
Seth: Come on in
Gabrielle: Oooh, it’s warm. So what’s up?
Ryan: We were ah…
Seth: We…
Ryan: Talking about the…
Seth: You were…
Ryan: He was telling me about the…
Seth: Telling about the thing…
Ryan: The thing.

Gabrielle: So who are you guys bringing?
Seth: I would say no one, really.
Ryan: Yeah, same.
Gabrielle: You’re kidding, right? There are no girls you want to bring? Two you hot guys like yourselves?
Seth: Are you still being sarcastic?

Seth: And they’ve been going out since like the fifth grade.
Gabrielle: Fifth grade!? Okay, she needs to change it up. She’s known that guy since he’s been eating paste.
Seth: I think he still does.

Seth: Is it twisted to find my potential grandma really hot?
Ryan: Not when she looks like that.

Sandy: Are we worried your dad won’t love us if we don’t feed him enough?
Kirsten: Alright, starting now no more digs at my dad.
Sandy: Oh honey, that wasn’t a dig. Seth?
Seth: No. When you called him a heartless bastard, that was a dig.
Sandy: You sold me out.

Seth: See they’re like puppets and I’m puppet-master.
Ryan: World domination to follow.

Caleb: You're still smoking the weed, aren't you?

Seth: Ryan, you've been playing the pirate game? That's a little bit minty.

Seth: Okay, he got shot in the arm, not the head.

Sandy: There's no place Kirsten feels more comfortable than the kitchen.
Seth: What are you talking about? Mom can't even make cereal!
Kirsten: Thanks, Seth.
Seth: I love you, Mom.

Caleb: Seth!
Seth: Hey!
Caleb: Hey, how you doing? You’re still not a football player.
Seth: Ah, yes. No, but thank you.

Summer: Is this to slutty to wear to an old guy's birthday party? I don't want the dude to have a coronary?

Summer: Hey, don't you wanna introduce me to more people?
Seth: No. Because I know the only reason you came as my date is so I can introduce you to guys who just stare at your chest.
Summer: Who was staring at my chest?
Seth: And they don't know anything about you, they don't know that in third grade, everyday you shared your lunch with this little squirrel, who's lunch kept getting stolen by a fat squirrel.
Summer: I hated that fat squirrel.
Seth: And they don't know about how your hand shook when you had to read that poem aloud in class.
Summer: What poem?
Seth: 'I Want To Be A Mermaid'
Summer: That was like, in sixth grade, I barely remember that.
Seth: ‘I want to be a mermaid, to swim along the sea, and I want all the fish…’
(Summer kisses him on the lips.)
Seth (stunned): ...to come and play with me.