Funny Jokes
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YO MOMMA
YOUR HOROSCOPE
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Unusual Facts
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in
first class: $40,000.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4.
Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 2.
City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong.
Coca-cola was originally green.
Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous
spider?
Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. (thankfully)
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the
energy of an atomic bomb.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy
to heat one cup of coffee.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including
their eyebrows and eyelashes.
In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (DON'T try this @ home!)
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.
Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los
Angeles de Porciuncula" - and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: "L.A."
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American
flag.
On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1"
encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Polar bears are left handed.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2) poodle; 3) golden retriever. Dumbest dog: Afghan.
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
Starfishes haven't got brains.
State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.
Stewardesses is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls
over on its right side when intoxicated.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having
the most taste buds.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the
taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life."
The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that is like a human jumping the length of a
football field.
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
BR>The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female
initiates sex by ripping the males head off.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar
melted in his pocket.
The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked
at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz."
The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.
The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.
The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous,
horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
Tigers have stripped skin, not just stripped fur.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes
the state's third largest city.
Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Paul Reiser himself.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
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