GOOD QUESTIONS 2

My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it
over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick
it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Australia. She said,
"Knock it off!."

How much deeper would the ocean be if there were no sponges in it?

I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'Do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per
hour?'. So I said, 'Oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all
the other museums.

What's another word for Thesaurus?

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said,
"Well, what do you need?"

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

I planted some bird seed. A bird grew. Now I don't know what to feed it.

You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else
shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment?

The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a
bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to
go so fast.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll
call when I'm out."

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet
paint, and he has to touch it.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a
gun at him?

If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did Mrs. Howell have so many clothes?

Why is it called a hamburger, when it's made out of beef?

Why does sour cream have an Expiration date?

What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?

IF "Con" is the Opposite of "Pro"....then what is the opposite of progress?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead, to "cure" it?

Why do we wash bath towels-aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do we put suits in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?

What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage
situation?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be
troubled and insecure?

What's another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly that loses its wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?