If I thought making it through the first
long holiday without Cees was difficult, yesterday was even more
difficult… I woke early Friday morning, September 8th, it
had rained hard all through the night… It was hard enough
knowing that when I got up it would be a day of memories of the last
eight weeks flooding over me, but having to face it with black clouds
hanging overhead was almost impossible to bear.
I made coffee, turned on the computer and waited for my email to
download while I poured a cup I looked at the angry clouds and said to
myself…”Please, not today of all days”
It wasn’t more than a few minutes and those same clouds
parted, the sun came out from behind and threw a shock of light through
the crystal heart that hangs on my east window and with it formed two
perfect tiny rainbows on my family room ceiling….what else
could I say except, “I love you Cees!”
“Thank you for being here for me today!”
The family all met at my house…we caravaned to Tahoma
National Cemetery.. It is a beautiful place with Mount Rainier
anchoring the southeast corner of the view…I will try to
post pictures my mother took in the near future….the weather
continued to improve the whole while we were driving out there and by
the time we arrived the nippy September wind had blown the dark clouds
East and the larger white billowy ones had appeared again. I had been
looking for a rainbow all the way out there, but none was to be found.
The guard at the info center lined up all of our cars with mine in
front and our pastor following behind mine, along with the rest of the
family and friends…to say it was an awesome feeling to be
driving down the long memorial drive right up to the largest flag pole
and American flag I had seen in a while would be an
understatement…as we rounded the curve to the committal
shelter I had begun to realize this was truly for real and not just my
imagination playing tricks on me. We got out of the car and walked
toward the shelter. The lead guardsman took my arm and escorted me to
my chair…Cees’ Mother was on my left. The color
guard stood at attention as we entered the shelter, on my right stood
the color guard and up on the hill behind them stood the lone bugler
ready for his cue to sound off his haunting notes… It seemed
as if my mind was saying…I think I’ve seen this in
a movie once…but no, this is real, it’s really
real. It was as though I was standing in the back watching
all of this happening but could not put me as the person in the
picture…I so wanted it to be someone or somewhere else. It
was so very hard to be there.
Our friend and pastor, Steve Hill, started the service with a prayer
and then offered a beautiful oration…we will
always be so grateful to the Lord for bringing Steve and his wife,
Diane, into our lives. When pastor finished his sermon the lead
guardsman began his delivery of the most beautiful, fitting
commemoration for a veteran and the most wonderful person
I’ve had the privilege of spending the past 28 years of my
life with. When he finished speaking four riflemen pulled three rallies
of shots and the lonely notes of Taps began to play. For being so
close, he sounded so far away…It’s one thing to
see all of this on TV or at the movies, but to be front and center in
the midst of it is indescribable.
When Taps completed the lead guardsman presented the flag to me and
then a second guardsman presented three of the casings each one
representing the three rallies shot in Cees’ honor.. They
then presented me with silk Poppies in remembrance of our fallen
veterans from all our foreign wars. Pastor Steve closed with a
benediction, Cees' ashes were removed from the Memory Box I carried him
in to be placed in his final resting place and we were
dismissed. I have kept the Memory Box to place those small
mementos in hoping one day we'll be able to look through it and
remember him with smiles instead of tears and help the grandchildren
that never met him to try to get to know who he was....there will be so
many stories circulating about him for years to come...I have no doubt
that they will get to know their Grampa C.C., they have no choice!
We then were invited to one of our closest friend’s home for
refreshments and we had the opportunity to watch the video my
Niece’s fiancé made, a celebration of life video
of Cees. It gets a little easier to watch each time, but there will
never be a time I think that I’ll be able to watch it without
a few tears… He just filled my life up so much…he
had a wonderful saying. He used to say,
“I’ll grow you up and you can keep me
young”. Even as sick as he was he not only grew me
up…he even made me younger trying to keep up with
him…
After most folks left we decided to go to Chang’s Mongolian
Grill. It was his most favorite place to go. It just felt fitting that
we should go and remember him at a place we could all envision him at,
sitting there with his plate heaping full of his favorite pan fried
noodles, laughing, talking and making you feel so very special, that he
really enjoyed being there with you. We left a chair open at the table
for him, after all, he was the guest of honor…!
While we were driving to Chang’s it had begun to sprinkle and
my Grandson, Curt, said to me…”Gramma,
it’s starting to rain”. And I said to him,
“No, that’s just Grampa crying ‘cause he
can’t go to Chang’s with us”. I had no
sooner said that and had pulled into the parking lot, than my new
daughter-in-law was banging on my car window before I hardly had it in
park… She was hollering, “Quick, get out of the
car”. I had thought someone had been hit or something but she
pointed to the sky to the east and said,
“LOOK!” “Dad’s
painted a rainbow for us and what better place than over his favorite
place to go with all of those that he loved best!” Lo and
behold, folks, I have to tell you…it truly amazed me but
there in front of us from the North to the South over our heads was a
beautiful rainbow to commemorate a perfect end to a bittersweet but
special day…. Each time I see that rainbow it’s
like he’s saying…”The view is nice up
here, and I’m doing just fine..”
We had a lovely dinner, we ambled on home to our respective
homes…hopefully to reflect on the day and what it
and this wonderful man had meant to us…. I continue to have
difficulty with each day being separated from him…but I hold
fast to the promise that the Lord has given to me…that one
day, and in His time…we will be all reunited
again…never to have to be separated from each other or Him
again…..
So everyone…this has been kind of
a rendition of a diary that one would write if one were
keeping it secret…but I wish to share what I did yesterday,
hoping that those of you that couldn’t be there would in a
way experience what we did. As hard as it was, I was so pleased to be
able to honor Cees in the way he was entitled to be honored. He loved
his family and friends, he loved his country and most of
all….He loved the Lord! What more could one ask for in a
loving husband? He deserved to be given the place of honor that he
received today….
