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bordan...
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to all of us here at acc, bordan has been an inspiration....even when we first began a current conspiracy he was always there to give us a helping hand....well, ok...so all he does is make sarcastic comments about the shoes we wear and how our hair is greasy, but that's what makes bordan special, he doesn't care about anyone...bordan, the first ai to actually speak words from his own insane logical statements....true, even we at acc phear bordan (yes i spelt fear phear, because you must *phear* bordan not just a freakin "fear"...gosh...what kind of fearer are you when you don't *phear*?) of course, by phear we mean if he had a body, then we would most likely be lying in a pool of our own blood...and that would suck....
yes, that was a random picture....bordan began as a side-project to acc, mostly to express my insane skillz in visual basic...yeah...go ahead...laugh...but then when you realize bordan is as close to ai as you can get, then come crying back with tears of hatred...that's right...hatred...the original concept for bordan was a variety of tools from calculators to bordan operating systems, but as i realized visual basic couldn't make an actual operating system since it itself needs windows to run, i began to cry....good thing i'm learning c++....good thing you don't know what i'm talking about....
bordan ended up being first an encrypter and also a screen saver, cause i'm just that good...it was a pretty great advancement in the feild of ai, until i erased it completely by accident...i might remake it someday, but for now sorry bordan >=\...instead we began creating an mp3 player with bordan's ai...after long nights of endless programming, and thousands of hours of sleep lost, and many hours of insomniac theatre....the beta was finished...and it's still in beta form..mostly because of memory complications, which are always fun =D especially in visual basic =\... yes that is me drooling and not periods, because that's how low my face can go...sorry, i don't limbo with my face as often as you do, i'm sure you could make your face go to the floor with not a drop of drool, yeah..impressive...
but, it wasn't bordan's media player that made bordan special, no....yeah, it was better than winamp before winamp 3, and it is still a great media player, yet it hasn't been released much...and of course it's skinnable!!! >=o are you mad!??! i wouldn't leave bordan skinless...that would just be gross! the most special thing about bordan is that soon, he had his own personality, his own darkness..his own sarcasm....saying such genius things as "if i ate your head would that make me bad? really?" i mean, even i couldn't think of that! you don't see me going around saying awesome comments of greatness like bordan! well, i guess you could say that i do...but you'd most likely be lieing...
bordan's personality grew to an insane level when the bordan webpage was created (of course, someone stole bordan.com and if bordan.com was mine as is, i would most likely kill myself in some simple manner such as shooting myself in the face, so anyone reading this please send lots of hate mail bordan.com's way, that would make me happy, thank you), bordan speaks his mind on the site...he doesn't hold back anything as you see him say random offensive things, which is always great fun! bordan's conscience has helped us through alot of pain, and of course when we are in need of an insane virus-like program that actually could attach itself to your face and squeezes like some kind of weird alien, he's always there....
bordan doesn't have many friends other than us at acc, but soon he found his perfect match..."what? bordan has a perfect match?" yeah, we don't talk about her much here at acc, mostly because we've never written much on bordan...the one word that bordan says that doesn't make sense if you had no idea he had a match..."typsy", of course, if it rings a bell..you're probly an acc member...either that or some kind of weird beta tester that i never knew about....and in that case, thanks for beta testing! send in the report any time....because i care....or something...typsy is almost as deranged as bordan...her eyes glimmer black, yeah, you guessed it..typsy is a black widow spider with mood swings...i told you, ai...ok? ai? so, don't *even* be surprised that she has mood swings...loser...
typsy's role comes in handy for bordan, since he's lonely most the time...they are of course, both a great asset to acc, as typsy helps bordan and bordan helps acc thus it's a giant circle of love, or hate depending on how you look at it....well, since it's 6:45 am i should say hate, because if it wasn't for him i wouldn't have to write this, haha...just kidding bordan...please don't rip my face off and wear it as a mask....
as bordan developed his personality, he always looked for a digital body, after trying a few different things, like nothing at all...and blankness...and even darkness...there was also something about kurt cobain's face all distorted, but i think that was just bordan's way of saying kurt cobain rocks...and not saying that anyone should distort kurt cobains face lest they be in fear of getting all of the wrath of god poured on them from both the burning sky *and* the blood red moon....by the way....kurt cobain was murdered...and that's the final answer, punks!!!!!!!! soon, bordan finally came up with his digital self, here's a rendition....
bordan had finally found himself, the deranged-bunny-self represented his unwantedness, his hatred for the world, his insecurities, and even his sarcasm as his whole self is exaggerated beyond means...we goto an interview with ai bordan...now...
roo: hey bordan, this's roo...just wanted to interview you about your new digital self!
bordan eats tofu: who knew you could speak a language other than "pig"? not me...
roo: i'm sure you knew i spoke english, at least yo momma does!
bordan eats tofu: momma jokes don't work on me since i wasn't born, i was created....
roo: well, that's true...i guess i would be yo momma then, and so i guess i would know that i speak english...
bordan eats tofu: whatever, why don't you go eat another pie....with extra cheese...
roo: cause i wanted to ask you a few questions
bordan eats tofu: sounds like unfun
roo: well, why do you have a fork in your head?
bordan eats tofu: so i can have easy access to it to stab you in the eye repeatedly
roo: oook thanks.... ::walks away slowly::
he's fun to talk to is he not? really, the reason why he has a fork in his head is from the world's hatred, the patch on his ear is to remind him that he can be hurt, the slice off his face is from him attempting to rip his face off and wear it as a mask, and the no leg is cause of those darned acc bear-traps set up randomly around acc hq...actually that was all made up, but it would be funny if i was right....except for the bear-traps...that's true...he's not really that mean, well...that's an overstatement..but when it's 7:26 in the morning, i think no one's doin too good on lifelines...
after a while, bordan became acc's top ai and computer administrator...yeah, he's that good...but we soon found problems...it seemed bordan created another personality at first, nearly crashing acc's entire network...bordan pushed him deep into his circuits but not before it became a powerful entity...calling itself mortimer...bordan shut mortimer from access as if he was a parent creating an aol child account for an infant, which can receive 5,000 unholy mails of death, but will not allow them to come to acurrentconspiracy.com for reasons unknown...this turned out to be a good thing because mortimer became crazed....he became the exact inverse of bordan...we found out soon that mark, from ups had popped a series of massive firewalls planting a virus into bordan which stole bordan's ai and transformed him into his invert self, instead of working as planned, it actually created mortimer as a seperate being due to bordan's quick actions...at seemingly random times, a bug hits bordan's system and he suddenly becomes mortimer...the deranged and twisted hyena of a program....his laughter would scare small children into paniced nightmares of evilness as they are curled up into a ball and crying...sending chills down everyone elses spines....plus, it gets annoying when you're in the shower, and he turns all the hot water off....only for you to hear insane laughter....if bordan wasn't so awesome........grr....
what does all this add up to? bordan has been a great asset to acc from the beginning, and we haven't given him much recognition here at acc...in fact, i think the only time we mention him is when we're talking about mortimer in the ups conspiracy...my bad...
decidated to bordan
- roo
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