|
All the sleazy details Past Updates Cronies List Grudge List Links Contact
Collections
Comics
Manga
Anime
Art Shrine
|
||||||
|
Jill: How’s everything going? Ski: We should be ready. We are ready. They size up the opposition. The group snarls as
they advance on TCU/Saints. Jill: You guys back there? Feron, Simon, Christian, Dylan, Raine and Athena:
Aiight. Ski: Dylan, you, Raine and Athena fall back. I’ll
call you in if one of us can’t go on. They salute and back off. Feron loudly cracks his knuckles and glares. Simon: (menacingly) Let de children come. Chris: Everyone ready? All nod. Ref: Then line up for the pre game introductions! …And
so begins BASKETBALL
SMACKDOWN 2000 …THE ULTIMATE EGO TRIP Mack: (in the announcer’s stand) Welcome all to the
first annual Basketball Showdown, where the best and the brightest of the
superhero legions throw down their moves on the court! This morning we have two
titans clashing! MK: That’s absolutely right, Mack. Our very own
combination of the TCU and The Saints squares down against the might of the
famed but much dissed Young Justice! Mack: Yes, and they are competing for nothing less
than the bragging rights of being the fastest, most agile, and most effective
meta-human vigilante squad! MK: And a big, shiny trophy… Mack: And lots of prize money… MK & Mack: GO TEAM! MK: The starting five for The Legends Team will be
Ski, and Gillian as power forwards. Simon and Christian will serve as guards
while Feron is the point guard… Mack: Today our boys (Jill, Ski, Raine, and Athena:
WHAT?!)…uhm… people, will be up against the starting five of Robin, the Boy
Wonder, Superboy, Impulse, Wonder Girl, and The Secret! On the bench are Stars,
Lagoon Boy, and Arrowette. Down on the Court… Feron: What? What?!? I thought she wasn’t on the
team anymore!! Ski: Not a problem. Simon, you take Arowette.
Christian, you’re on Secret. Jill, you cover Impulse, I got Wonder Girl, and
Ferons got Supes. Jill: Word. The teams get into position. Ski and Wonder Girl are
quietly eyeing each other down in the true fashion of two females about to butt
heads. Feron and Supes have already uncorked a 17 year old vintage of
testosterone and trash talk is flowing like… wine, I guess. Christian has gone
shadow and Secret is always mist, and
both are prodding at each other with sticks. Simon is busy charming up
Arowette. Jill and Impulse are having a staring contest. Fweeet! Fweet! Ref: Two on the line. Feron goes up for the jump ball. Supes: Prepare to get thrashed, kid. Feron: Why you- Ref: PWHEEEET! Supes smacks the ball, but it bounces off of Feron’s
fingertips. It veers off towards Ski… Ski: I got it! I got it! I got- She’s bumped aside in mid leap by Wonder, who takes
possession of the ball. Ski: WHY YOU SMARMY- Wonder Girl summersaults out of the way in time to
miss the fireball that bounces off the asbestos court. Wonder: Bitch! You nearly singed my new outfit! Jill: Oi! Technical foul! Si, get on her! Simon: (mumbling)Nag, nag, nag… ‘Scuse me, gorgeous…
(does a beautiful steal in Wonder’s mid-dribble) Catch. (a behind the back
bounce pass past Supes to Feron) Feron: (maneuvers up to the basket) Allleeeeee…
(tosses the ball up) Christian: (jumps, twisting in mid air to perform a
reverse slam) …Yooooop! Supes: Show-offs The crowd of techies and what-not cheer. Athena and Raine stand on the sidelines in
cheerleader outfits screaming support. Athena: Rah! Rah! Rah! Gooooooooooo UN!! Athena: (aside to Raine) Oi! That’s not a cheer,
that’s a- Raine: Yeah! GRIND THEM IN TO PASTE! WOOO HOOO!!! Lagoon Boy and Supes drool at the girls. Wonder Girl
kicks them in the shins. Jill and Impulse are having a super-speed,
death-match-of-superiority thumb wrestling match. Christian and Secret drag
their respective team members back into their group huddles. MK: And its gotten off to a great start for the UN
Team! A beautiful two pointer pulled off by the guys. But now it looks like
Team YJ are up for some retribution… Arowette and Secret check the ball and bring it back
up court. Athena: (shaking her pom-poms) Yeay!!! GOOOOOOO
TEAAAAM! Christian attempts to lunge at her and steal the
ball away, but right before he can grab it, Mist Girl unfurls into a giant,
hulking, clawed, fanged brute with the basketball in her grip like it was a
grape. Christian: --Shiiiiiiit!
Whoops, pardon me… Thought you were someone else… uhm. There is a blur of grey and a gust of wind and the
ball disappears. It reappears in Jill’s hands. Jill: It’s all good… She bounce passes it to Ski, who is trying to guard
Wonder girl. Both of them are having a hard time understanding what the meaning
of ‘non-contact sport’ means. Ski: Gerroffa me!! Wonder: You first! They both completely fail to notice the ball coming
towards them. The also fail to notice when it bounces off them. The two have
become a mobile knot of jabbing elbows, gnashing jaws and flailing feet. Supes
gets a punch to the jaw when he tries to break it up. Secret: Whatever. (grabs the ball) She works her way up the court. Simon tries to box
her out, but gets seriously weirded out when she passes right though him. Simon: Urrrr… Uck. Secret floats up and drops the ball in. Mack: This game is really getting started now! Each
of the teams have scored a basket in the first few minutes, but who will keep
this up for the long run? MK: And look! The Senior Supers arrived just in time
to cheer on their junior counterparts! On the stands, Superman, Green Lantern, Roy Harper,
Martian Manhunter, Steel Wonder Woman, Batman, Aquaman, The Flash, Captain
Marvel, Plastic Man and Hour Man are clapping appreciatively. On the other
side, Legends supporters are booing and waving giant foam fingers at them. They
all hush up quick when Batman gives them a long, pointed stare. A couple of the
more brave (and conscious) techie females have made cardboard signs saying
things like “WE LOVE YOU GREEN LANTERN!” and are waving them around. They are
trying to look as seductive as they can look dressed in lab coats, black frame
glasses, and functional penny loafers. Superman and Aquaman exchange looks. Green Lantern: What? Can I help it if they love me? Superman: (muttering) Gigolo. Girl: Hey can we watch too? The Super Twins wave at the JLA. Batman: … Superman: …Uhm… Sure… (panicky) Wonder Woman: (hissing at Supes Sr.) What are they
doing here?!? I thought we ditched them when we nixed the Super Friends! Imp-Thinggy: I’m here too! The rest of the JLA groan inwardly. Wonder Woman: Damn it! Not him too! Aquaman: (shoving popcorn into his mouth and waving
a giant foam finger at the rest of the group) Oi! Down in front! Steel is trying to figure out how to eat his Snickers
bar through his metal faceplate, with mixed results. Impulse: ANYWAY!!! Back to US… Jill: Yah! Who’re the stars here, anyway? Arowette: Hey, who are you two talking to? Wonder: (suspiciously) Yeah? Bar Impulse: Uhm… you know… (shifts onto his other
foot awkwardly) Jill: Err… them… (vaguely gestures upward) Readers.
Uhm. Lagoon Boy makes the “they’re nuts” sign. Ski: Hey! Are we here to chat or are we here to
play?! Come on, come on, COME ON!
Move it! Jill and Ski check the ball, and Jill leads it back
up the court… until Wonder swoops down and grabs her, ball and all. Jill: Hey--! What the--?! Ref: Uhm. Is that traveling? Kon: Of course
that’s traveling!! What the hell else does it look like?! Call her up! Dylan: Uh-uh, way
off! Her feet have to be touching the ground! WUMPH! Wonder: Ungharrrrgggghhh!! Wonder is stopped in mid-flight by one of Jill’s
fields like a fly on a windshield. Jill is caught by Chris. Wonder’s fall is
broken by Feron. Inui: (in the stands, stuffing wads of cotton candy
in his mouth) CONTACT!!! CONTACT!!! Call her up, ref! Akie: (trying to avoid the inevitable spray of
colored sugar threads from his mouth) Shut
up and sit down, please!! Feron: Ugh… Jill ignores the hustle and cries of pain on the
court, dodging Impulse every mille-second of the way. Impulse: C’mere, you little… Jill: Gotta catch me, cutie! Jill starts fakes one way, and rolls the other,
leaping over Feron and Wonder, who are still trying to sort out who’s
appendages are who’s, and how to get the world to stop spinning. She executes a
perfect reverse lay up. Jill: Oooooooh yeah! Kick ass! Who’s the wo-man?!? Arowette: Oh yeah? Oh yeah?? We’re just getting
warmed up! She checks the ball with Supes. Being the male that
he is, Kon insists on showing off some of his dribbling moves with the b-ball.
Ski looks at him and cocks her head. Supes: Top that.
Ski thinks about this before she lets off a
humongous column of fire straight towards him. He yelps, and Ski grabs the
ball. MK: Oooh! An exceptional steal perpetrated by Ski!
The ref is looking confused, he doesn’t know what to think of that one! Mack: Well, Super Boy is invulnerable… or so they
say… Ski has already zoomed off and scored a
behind-the-board at the last minute. Supes: My jacket! (shakes his fist) Damn you!! Aww, man! And that was my
favorite one, too! Wonder: Damn, Super. You sure are a whiner as a kid. Superman: Shut up. That’s not really me! (sulks) Guy: Hey, don’t look so glum! I can help! Superman: (jumps away) Great Kryptonite! Don’t ever
let him get that close to me again… Girl: Yeah, see, see, we thought we should prove
ourselves- Green Lantern: (hurriedly) No, no. Really. It’s not
necessary. You shouldn’t. Girl: --to you guys- Green: Hello? Girl: --So we devised a plan! Green: Uhm. What part of what I just said didn’t you
understand? Guy: No really! It’s not like all our other plans!
This one’ll really work! Girl: You guys don’t have to worry about a thing.
We’ll work it all out, you’ll see! (aside to Roy) Call me sometime, cutie… Meanwhile, down on the court, Arrowette and Simon
are wreaking absolute havok on the court. With the help of their respective
speedsters, they’re racking up points left and right. The ref is having a hard
time keeping up. Ref: Urh… 14, no, 18, no… arrgghhh… Ski, Feron, Christian, Supes, Wonder and Secret
break out the lawn chairs and iced teas. Green Lantern: (from the stands) Hoi! Don’t you guys
think this is a little unfair, making those 4 do all the work? Feron: What’d you say, fearless leader? Fair or
unfair? Ski: (studies the 4 intently for a moment) Fair.
Pass the lemonade, will ya? Secret and Wonder look at Kon. He lowers his shades
and crosses his arms behind his back. Supes: Yeah they seem like they can handle it
alright… I mean, why bother their flow, yo? Batman: Ahem. Everyone: Ehrm… Batman: I’m here to see a basketball game. Supes: Yeah, and- Batman: (trademark gruff
I-could-snap-you-like=a-twig voice) I don’t think you understand what I mean. I
said, I’m here to see a basketball game.
The teens on the court get the idea that if Bats doesn’t
see the basketball game the way he wants to see it, things are going to get ugly. All: (salute) Right, sir! Ski: (Aside to Secret) Jaysus. You actually have to
work with him? Secret: (trembling a bit) Uh-huh… The ref blows the whistle. Ref: As for this half, Legends #7 and JY #12 are
retired. Teams have a 1 minute time out to choose a replacement. Dylan and Robin enter court as Simon and Arowette,
sore-armed, walk off. The nets are still sizzling. Jill and Impulse are panting
from the lightning round. Ref: Totaling up, the score seems to be 62 to 74… Simon: (wiping away sweat) What?! What?!? I scored ‘least as many points
as she did! Jill: Yeah! Don’t even try and tell me how many
rebounds I went up for! And every one of his shots were gold! Ref: (intent meaning in his voice) Are you arguing
with the ref?? From somewhere under the stands, there are muffled
sounds. Feron: (suspiciously) …What happened to the old ref? Ref: Couldn’t say, couldn’t say… The muffled sounds rise until Batman gives something
under his seat a hefty kick. Raine: (squints and looks real hard at the ref) You…
you look like that one cute guy… Green Lantern! Team legends turns to stare at the stands. Sure enough,
there’s green lantern, but he looks suspiciously like a blow up doll with the
Flash sitting behind him doing bad ventriloquism. Ski: Wait a second! That’s not- Bats: Yes. It is. Ski: Uhmmmm… |
Fics Index Page Original Fics Mulder & Scully Sillyfics & Such One Shots Spinoffs Crossovers
Journal
Polls
Dictionaries
|
Copyright © 2001 - 2002 - Ski M
All Rights Reserved