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Jill: Hello??
Hello?? (snaps fingers a couple times infront of Ski) Anyone home? Ski:
Muhnamuhnamuhnamuhna… Feron: (rolls eyes)
Oi! You! (Nightwing nods) Yeah you. You mind taking your pheromones some where
else? Nightwing: Wha- Feron: (verge of
manly jealousy) Yeah. We’re trying to
play a game here? Nightwing: But I-
(See’s Ski and Stars gawping) Errr… Jill: Go on. Shoo.
(Nightwing walks away bemused)(Jill grins at Roy) But you can stay, sweetie. Dylan: (firmly) NO. Jill: (kicked puppy
look) But he- Roy: But I- Dylan: (Hollers)
GROUP TO ATTEEEEENNNN-SHUN! In a wink, the
legends team are standing stock still in
a straight line. Ski: Oi. (reviving
from her daze) That wasn’t very nice. Raine: Soooo, guys,
whatta we gonna do about…them? Jill: Good Lord. Feron: So? They’re
old. Raine: Hooo yeah!
(punches the air) We can take ‘em! Dylan: So it’s
settled. Lets go out there and whip tail! It’s me, Feron, Raine, Ski and Jill- Ski: Y-yeah… but
they’ve got… B-bbb-bats… Everyone goes
silent. Jill: (snorts) Yeah.
And? Jill: I don’t read
his- Feron clamps his
hand around her mouth. Feron: Okay, but don’t
say that so loud. Jill: THAT’S IT! I’ve
HAD IT! (Storms off) Back in the stands… Mr. So-called-Bats
is having trouble with the utility belt. ‘Bats’: Darned
fushuggada thing keeps slipping… ‘Steel’: (who looks
like steel, only mistier and with a really girly voice) Uhm. Flash, don’t you think you should calm
down… just a bit? ‘Flash’: I can’t
help it… (zips around happily) ‘Bats’: Aww… lookit
the little fella go. He’s so happy… ‘Steel’” (-_-;) … Lagoon Boy: Yep. I
could really get used to this super hero shtich. (slurps up his ice tea and
stretches) Aquaman: (pulls the
little paper umbrella outta his cocktail) This isn’t everything about
super-heroing. Lagoon Boy: (raises
an eyebrow) Oh yeah? Lagoon boy: Cool… Flash stops running
amok. ‘Flash’: Hey…
anybody know where Supes and Wondy went? Everyone goes
silent. Bats bites his lip:
Errr… I don’t like to say really. ‘Flash’: Cos if they
went to the hotdog stand, I’ll thrash ‘em! I told them not to go without
getting me something! ‘Steel’: (happy
voice) Oh they probably did, don’t worry about it. Supes had lots of money, so
he must have! Bats: Guys, I don’t
think- Flash: Really? Cool!
Hey, how did you know he had so much money? Bats: Uh… (goes red
in the face) Uh… Steel? I, uh… don’t think that was a wallet- Flash: (not
listening) Good! I hope they get popcorn! But then… Lagoon boy spews his
ice tea: WHAT is going ON?! He points out onto
the court. Raine: Some one stop
her! But she’s out of
hearing… Gillian: OI, ROBIN!! (“Rob” turns and glares icily at
her.) YEAH, YOU! Roy and Nightwing,
formerly banished out of female sight, come running back to the sound of…
absolute terrified silence. Nightwing: What?!
What’s going on?? ‘Bats’: Th-that
girl… she… she… Steel: (Girly
shriek) She’s yelling at Robin! Roy: Ro… no, you don’t
mean… Steel: (Another
girly whimper) Yeah! She’s gonna be, like, toasted! Flash: We gotta help
her! I’ll save her! Roy: I saw her
first! Flash: You DID NOT!
Anyway, you’re too old! Roy: Sez who, Kid Flash?!? Flash: Why I
ougtta.. Reader: … Two Super
heroes fighting over Jill… -_- Writer: Yeah, what
about it?? Reader: … Jill is storming up
to ‘Rob’. The rest of the
people on the court move away. No-one’s ever backtalked bat--, er, Robin, but
they’re all pretty sure what happens when you do. Rob: (growls)Hhnn. Jill: (sarcastic)
And don’t try that desperate-cry-for-a-lozeng grunt on me, buddy. And that was
a nice effect you did with Secret. (The man underneath the bedsheet tries to
shuffle away) Rob: I have no idea
what you are talking about. Jill: Oh yeah? Oh yeah?? You wanna mess with us like that,
then FINE, buddy. BRING IT! Ski: Oh my God, did
she just tell Bats to ‘bring it’?? Stars: She is soooo
gonna die… Simon drags
Nightwing over: Isn’t there something you can DO?!? Roy: You have to
admit, the girl has cojones. Raine: BECAUSE SHE
DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE’S DOING!!! MK: Holy Mother! Did
you see that?!? Did you see THAT?!?
Jill just prodded the uber-Robin in the chest! Twice! Mack: And that’s not
all, sports fans! Now she’s glaring at him and yelling!! Oh, this is a game to
remember… Nightwing: On no… he’s
giving her the look… Ski: What?? What?! Nightwing:
(ominously) You know… THE Look. Simon: (yelling) NO!
It’s NOT FAIR! She’s TOO YOUNG t’ DIE! Back on the court… Everything is hushed
besides Jill’s angry rant. Jill: And I’ll tell
you something else, bu-yeep! She is now hanging
about two feet off the ground, nose to nose with Robin. Jill: Uh-oh… ‘Rob’: (growls)
What, pray, is that? Jill suddenly grins
evilly: Wanna see a trick I learnt from a new friend? Rob: Wha-(looks down
and notices that she holds the edge of his cape, the rest of which is threaded
between his legs.) Rob:
ARRRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Nightwing: I don’t
belive this… she floored… him! Roy: …she… she…more’n
that… Ski: She just
g-gave… ‘Steel’: (girly
shriek) She just gave Rob a CAPE
WEDGIE! ‘Flash’: (grins)
Hey! HEY! I TAUGH HER THAT TRICK! HA! (hollers)Good JOB, JILL! Raine: (fist pumps
in the air) YEAH! THAT’S SHOWING HIM! GOOOOOOOO JILL!! (jumping up and down). Jill(drops back to
the ground as Bat’s balls up in agony): Any one else wanna keep the charade
up?! ANYONE?? Everyone backs away.
But she stalks up to ‘Secret’ anyway. Jill: And take off
that silly ass bed sheet! (yanks it off to reveal the real Steel, blushing
through his armor) The Ref watches all
this absolutely amazed. Never quite seen a game like this before… He feels someone
tapping on his shoulder. Ref: Huh? Dylan: Go on, man.
Chalk it up. Dylan:(grabs him by
the collar) FIND some. Ref: uhh… (eye
rolling madly) Mack: CAN you
BELIEVE that??? There goes the Dark Knight, off the court on a stretcher! MK: Busted inna fork
by one of our very own! GO LEGENDS! Mack: And now after
a bit of cossy changing, the game can FINALLY get back to go… Impulse: You… you
stretched it! Ugh! And it’s all warm! Wally: (adjusting
the Flash-cossy) Shut up and play. Impulse: Hey, man. I
took care of your costume… I…
I..(sniffles) respected it! Wally: (rolls eyes)
Yeah whatever, kid. Superboy and Wondy
hurry back from… errr… behind the bleachers, slightly flushed and out of
breath. Impulse: Hey you two
are back! Did you get it?! Huh?! Huh?! Robin: (adjusting
the Wonder suit) Uh… Imp, I don’t think that’s such a- Superboy: Hooo yeah,
Wondy got it all right… Wondy: Kon!
(blushes) Secret: You did?!
Where is it? Lets have it! Wondy:
(Shocked)Suzie, what?! Secret: ‘s not fair,
you keeping it all to yourself!! I want some! Kon: Well geez, Suz…
(devilish grin) All ya had to do was ask. Impulse: Yeah!! I
want some too! Wondy: WHAT?! Kon: (confused) ‘the
hell?! Superboy and Wondy:
… Ref: Can we please
play now?? Please?? Raine, already hyped
up, is sending electrical energy cackling across the court. Feron and Lagoon
Boy line up for the jumper. Ref: Ready… Feron: Ohmigod! Look
over there! Pamela Lee! Kon: Play that game
with one of my boys, eh? I’ll just use my tactile telekinesis to liven things
up… Feron: Here I
co-URP! I can’t move! Secret: Thanks.
(blushes and gives him a shy wave before taking off with the ball) She steps into his
shadow, and immediately he falls ungracefully to the ground. Kon: Whaa…? Athena blows him a
kiss. Wondy: (grows) Oooh
you just try that again, missy. Ski and Jill stop
flirting on the sidelines long enough to yell: HEY! WATCH THE BALL! Secret passes it off
to Wondy, but it’s intercepted by Simon. He grins sweetly at the girls. Simon: T’anks a
bunch, ladies. Their faces crumple
into happy little dreamy smiles. Superman: OI! Not
fair! Wonderwoman: Shut
up, Kal. (staring at the guys down on the court) Mmmm. The rest of the male
JLA glare at Simon, Feron and Dylan. Meanwhile, an over
heard conversation… Supertwin guy: You
ready sis? Supertwin guy:
(encouragingly) Maybe it was your feminine wiles? Girl: Okay. Get in
the cooler. Mack: After a few
minor hiccups, the game is progressing into the start of the second half
nicely… Both teams are showing tenac- MK: (standing up so
fast his chair falls over) WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! Three burly
cheerleaders have come forward on the sidelines. Each one of them are shuffling
around like this was the last place they want to be. They’re dressed in a red
white and blue skirts and shirts and pom poms… over their JLA cossies. Green Lantern: I told you I thought she was following us. I TOLD
YOU! But noooooo… you just
had to get your damn pretzels. Flash: Look, I’m sorry, okay?? Oh god… Steel: These tights itch. Flash: But…You’re wearing them over your
metal body suit! Steel: Yeah… but I feel as if they should
itch. Green Lantern: And
wigs! Bloody wigs, too! (scratches at his blonde curly goldilocks wig) Steel: I know… These
damn pig tails keep getting in my way. Flash: But it really
does look good on you. Steel: Really? (give
the pigtails an experimental swish) Ya really think so? Flash: Oh yeah. Red
hair suits you. Green: Are we
supposed to be doing something? Green: Sucks to
that. Back to the court. As Feron and Kon
fight for the ball… Feron: Uhm… aren’t
those your mentors over there dressed as cheerleaders? Feron: No seriously…
nevermind. Raine, some help? She rams in to them,
grabbing the ball. Kon attempts to grab her, but gets a hand full of shock
instead. Kon: YEOW!!! BACK ON THE LEGENDS
SIDE… Jill: Awww. She
looks like such a sweetheart! Roy: Yep. That’s my
little angel. Jill: (slyly) So,
you got room for any other women in your life? They grin at each
other. Roy raises his eyebrows mischievously. Ski: You know, I
really respect you as a Titan… Nightwing: Heh.
Thanks. Ski: …And as it’s
cutest member… (cat grin) Ski whispers something
in his ear. Nightwing looks on
the verge of blushing, before he stands up: You’re on. The two couples try
to exit the sideline area but before they can… Kimmy: Ahem. Ski and Jill:
Eeiiiii! Kimmy: Where do you
think you guys are going? Roy: That is… uh… to
say… Nighwing: Uhm… just
for a second… Ski: … be back soon… The four try to edge
away from Kimmy, but it’s not happening. Kimmy: That’s it.
You two. Back to the stands. (Nightwing and Arsenal look dejected as they
trudge away.) And you two… Jill and Ski: Errrr… BACK TO THE GAME… Robin, through the
help of Wondy, has just scored a 2 point dunk. Robin: See? See?
This is what happens when we use teamwork! His team rolls his
eyes at him. Wondy mocks a yawn. Robin: What?? What
did I say? Ref: Phweeet! Time
out!! Raine: Uh… was it
me, or did the Ref just say ‘phweet’? They look
questioningly at the already miffed Referee. Ref: What? What?! So
the cheerleaders stole my whistle, whattamigonna do about it? Much to the
amusement of the crowds, and the total embarrassment of the rest of the JLA,
GL, Flash and Steel are trying to choreograph some pretty crappy cheers.
Apparently the word synchronized exists nowhere in their vocabulary, and the
falsetto voices aren’t helping. Steel: 2, 4, 6, 8!
Errrr…*mumble, mumble, mumble, mumble* Kyle: Gimmie a Y!
Gimmie an O! Gimmie a… a… (spells out on fingers) U! Gimmie an N! Flash: Rubber
duckie, you’re the one! You make bathtime lotsa- Steel nudges him in
the ribs while still trying to look perky and female: (whispers to Flash)You
dork, that’s not a cheer! Kyle:…Gimmie a G!
Gimmie a J! Gimmie a U! Gimmie an S! Flash: (waves his
pom poms around in a manner that can only be described as desperate) How about ‘This
old man’? Steel: Dude, that’s
not a cheer either! (louder) RAH, RAH, RAH!! SIS BOOM BAH! Kyle: (panting) Now…
(huff) What does that (puff) spell? (collapses from hyperventilation) Steel: (trying not
to notice the man down) Uh.. Rah! Flash: (singing,
jumping, flailing) Queeee sera, sera!! Female techies of
the Legends side…: OH MIGOD!!! LOOK!! FT2: We have to SAVE
him!! Steel: OH DAMN! Steel and Flash flee
screaming as an avalanche of female hormones comes crashing down on Kyle. Wonder woman hides
her eyes. Wonder: Oh God, Kal,
make it stop! Flash and Steel come
puffing up, their cheerleading outfits torn to shreds. Steel: I… I’m so
sorry… but there was nothing we could do… Flash: (solemnly)
The vicious barracudas were on him in seconds. J’onn: Poor Green
Lantern… He’s most likely to be smothered. Plas: Whoooo dawgie,
but what a way to go, huh? Aquaman: Damn right!
(Cups hands and hollers down at Kyle) WAY T’ GET ‘EM, TIGER! Feron and Kon stand
on the court, surrounded by their team. Feron: Uhh… So. ‘s
this happen often where you guys come from? Kon: (adjusts his
shades over his bewildered eyes) Really can’t say. On his own, the Ref
has balled up into a fetal position, and started weeping. Raine prods him. He
whimpers. Wondy: (sitting on
the ground, hugging her knees) Wow. He’s like, totally ballistic. Suzie: Uhm… Scuzeme,
sir… Ref: (sucking thumb)
GO AWAY! ST Girl: Ready? ST Girl: Good work.
(Hauls him on the Legends team water table) Now remember, get back to me when
you hear their game plan! MK: Sports fans this
is easily the weirdest basketball game in the history of… er… history! MK: No that was just
disturbing. And we still can’t get the janitors to get the auger bits out of
the walls. Mack: Yeah… and I
think we’re still searching for some techies, too. MK: They shall be
sorely missed. Anyway, I see that someone has managed to revive the ref… (Athena, and Wondy
watch on as Secret cages the ref, and Raine blasts him with a garden hose.
Every once in a while, she sticks her finger in the spray, and the resultant
static charge blasts, the poor, shaken, man.) MK: …and Kimmy and
the remaining Titans have helped to usher the…uh… obstructions… off the court… The line formed by
the female half of the audience lining up to give Kyle the kiss of life was
weaving its way across the b-ball court, until the they were shooed away. Aresenal:
(whispering to Nightwing) Good Lord, she’s like the captain of the make out
police! Nightwing:
(muttering) SHUT UP, she might hear you… Grant: This isn’t
working! Jesse: We can’t quit
now! I can almost see Green Lantern! And he’s still breathing! Kimmy: Hmmm… (eyes
Arsenal and Nightwing) A few minutes later:
Arsenal: Sweet holy
MOTHER! (takes off) Come on, Wingster, get moving! Arsenal: (glowers) Back at the JLA
Stands. ST Girl: Taa Daaa! Wonder Woman:
(muttering) Great Hera, she’s still here?? ST Girl: Our plan is
all in place! You don’t have to thank me! (sidles up to Wally) But you could
show your gratitude in some small way… (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) Kal: AHHH!!! (grabs
Plastic man and offers him up as a sacrificial substitute) Plas: Errgh!! Steel: Nice hat! Back with the teams… The teams are
sitting around. Athena, Secret, Wondy, and Raine are giggling and gossiping
about cute guys. Simon has conned the guys into a game of poker, and is
cleaning house. Lagoon boy: So…
parched… must… have… WATER!! (gasps) Lagoon boy: Ahh.
That’s bett… that’s… urghh… Secret: (concerned)
LB? Are you okay? Athena: Alright,
fess up. Someone spiked the water, again, didn’t they?! Lagoon Boy: Urgh.. I
don’t… feel so good… (hiccups) ST Girl comes
running up: WHAT DID YOU *DO* TO HIM?! Kon: Whoa. Chill,
super freak. We didn’t do anything to him… LB’s probably just a little- STG: NOT HIM!!
(looks into empty cooler) Oh damn. MK: Hmmm… It looks
like a guard from the YJ team is being pulled off… he’s looking really under
the weather… (sounds of Hurking
in the background, a pause, the violent wretching gag, and a watery splat. There
is a pause, then sounds of LB, moaning and someone saying “You bloody DRANK ME!”) Mack: Now that ALL
THAT’S cleared up… (glares) We can finally get down to the damn game! |
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