Influences

If you would look at my baby pictures, you would see me wearing a tiny shirt of Atomic Boy or some other famous cartoon character. In later years, I remember walking home, reading a manga when a dog reached over and bit me in the side. And singing the Doraemon song over and over again just because I liked to say "ah ah ah, tottemo daisuki... Dora-e-mo-n."

And Samura Hiroaki's Blade of the Immortal has more than ever bolstered that love, perhaps even framed it in the middle of my heart.

It isn't just the action or the gorgeous artwork that blows me away every single time. No, it's the very human struggles the main characters face that keeps me wanting more. And made me more aware of my own mortality.

At the very heart of the story is the young girl's fight to keep a hold on her soul as she seeks revenge against her parents' murders. Rin realizes that violence begets more violence, however, and finds herself questioning her vengeance.

Two of my own characters endure the same fight. And they both lose.

Ski is a young woman who's never been mentally stable and her life is further disrupted when she learns the truth about her birth. Her biological father, a man with a shadowy past, ran away with Ski's mother but was murdered by his colleagues. The man she thought was her father had been killed along with his wife, in what was deemed a car accident.

What spurs her to finally declare vengeance is her half-sister's ill-disguised taunts. Jana never hid her hatred of her mother's illegitimate daughter. It was only to drive Ski mad that she sent reports of the truth. To enrage Ski is not enough, Jana must have the last laugh and cause her half-sister to pay the ultimate price - her soul.

After reading Blade, I started to think about my own characters. I wondered why Ski would actually kill. Although it seemed pretty simple at first (for revenge) it never rang true. Ski's character had never killed a person before and for her to start now would be insane, not to mention abrupt. Yet Ski would be prone to violent temper flares every now and then, her reaction to the disturbing events that occured while she was younger. After a while, her behavior started to parallel another's character, Noah, which wasn't surprising because they had always been the best of friends. Noah was always the well-adjusted one. It just didn't make any sense when he finally succumbed to his demons and viviciously attacked someone in the group. With his death, Ski momentarily dropped all desire for revenge and mourned deeply.

Finally I came to the conclusion that Ski's bid for vengeance can never be ignored. The hatred and despair would just eat up in her like it poisoned Anotsu's father. Her fight is not to right past wrongs but to make sure these murderers never kill again. To save the souls of the other victims, Ski will have to shoulder the burden of becoming a killer herself. She doesn't want to be "saved". She'll do it her way.

Ski's half-sister, Jana, on the other hand, will wallow in self-pity and hatred until she can take no more. She won't be saved either. Like Ski, she's made her own choice, and she'll stick by it.

Of course, I haven't read all of the Blade novels yet... but I'd love to be surprised at the ending. Here's to the main characters not ending up like mine.

Ciao.