This is the third edition y’all! I’m in college writing this up and I’m in
a hurry because I want to go to the Library and read the new GQ. So don’t blame
me if it seems a little screwed up, not my fault. And if you’ll excuse me, I’ll
be drifting off to heaven… mmmm…
Phrase number one:
“Quoi
c'est ton nom?”
[What is his name?]
Extremely useful. You don’t want to brag
about this guy to your friends only to wonder what his name is. Believe me, it
happens to me all the time.
Pronounced: Koo-a say ton non?
Phrase number two:
“Qui c’est ca?”
[Who is that?]
Again, extremely useful.
Pronounced: Kee say sa?
Phrase number three:
“C’est vrai ça?”
[Is that true?]
To express curiosity about a guy’s…ahem.
Pronounced: Say vray sa?
Phrase number four:
“A
quelle heure?”
[At what time?]
Need to know this. You don’t want to wait
forever for your date, do you?
Pronounced: A kel ur?
Phrase
number five:
“Maintenant”
[Now.]
Heh heh. Naughty naughty.
Phrase number six:
“Vous desirez?”
[need anything?]
Woo.
Pronounced: voo dehzEEray?
Phrase number seven:
“Qu'est-ce que vous faites
comme amusement?”
[What do you do for fun?]
Woo.
Pronounced: kuhskuh voo fAYt cOm
ahmoosemAh'?
Phrase number eight:
“De l'air”
[Back off.]
Pronounced: DUH lair.
Phrase number nine:
“Je vous arrache les yeux.”
[I will scratch out your eyes]
Pronounced: Shuh vooz ah-RASH laze
yuh
Phrase number ten:
“Fichez-nous la paix.”
[Leave us alone]
Did I mention this is very
threatening?
Pronounced: FEE-shay NOO lah pay.
Phrase number eleven:
“Pourquoi ne cherchez-vous
pas un vrai boulot?”
[Why don’t you get a real job?]
Nag, nag, nag.
Pronounced: poor -KWAH nuh share-shay-voo PAH
uhn BRAY boo-loh?
Phrase number twelve:
“Sans vous je ne suis qu'un ver de terre.”
[I am only a worm without you.]
I don’t know if that’s sweet or pathetic.
Pronounced: Sahn VOO shuh nuh swee kuhn VAIR duh
tair.
Phrase number thirteen:
“On se reverra en enfer!”
[I’ll see you in hell!]
Pronounced: On suh ruh vair-AH on
non-fair!
Phrase number fourteen:
"Pardonnez-moi, mais avez-vous un porc-epic coince
entre les fesses?”
[Excuse me, but do you have a porcupine stuck up
your rear end?]
Pronounced: PAR-don-ay-mwah, may-ah-vay-voo uhn
PORK-ay-pick kwan-say on-truh lay FESS?
Phrase number fifteen:
“Elle est un roulure sans gratitude.”
[She is an ungrateful bitch.]
Pronounced: El ay toon too-LOOR sohn grah-tee-TOOD.
Of course there are the standard
Cajun dialect. Do you want that?
Yes? Okay then, I’ll add some.
“Anyways” – used to mean “and then” or “and so”.
Wow, I be talking dat der Cajun Talk for years den.
“Lagniappe” – something extra. Pronounced: Lahn
yop.
Wow. Anyways, we done wit’ de Cajun talk.
Readers: Cheater!
Too bad, mes amis. Too bad.
Oh all right. Just a couple more.
“Pauve ti bete” – [poor little thing] Pronounced:
Pove tee bet.
“Allons” – let’s go
“Canille” – [mischievous, shrewd, tricky, like
yours truly] Pronounced: ka nie.
And of course:
“S’il vous plaît.” I think you know what that
means.
Man, am I tired. Shoot, it’s already 12:15. Time
for lunch!
Heh heh, au revoire suckers!
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