Dear Friends,
Where do rumors come from? I know there are some people who are convinced the world is out to get them. I call it the “martyr complex.” Any time their name is misspelled or someone else’s car is in their parking space, they’re convinced it’s a plot to ruin them. I guess there might be people who have nothing better to do than plot dastardly plans of espionage and character assassination, although if you ask me that sounds kind of far fetched.
The fact is that most rumors probably originated in some form of truth, but the stories just get accidentally twisted further and further from reality as they are passed from person to person. That doesn’t mean it’s on purpose, it’s just the communication break down that occurs naturally. Every time the story is told and then retold, each new narrator adds his or her own twist to it. After a while you end up with a story that hardly resembles the original.
Case in point: In a recent conversation with a friend, he mentioned his girlfriend had met a girl who said she went to high school with me. As a child actor I did not go to conventional schools and was also on an accelerated learning program. I never went to high school; I graduated college at the age of 15. That doesn’t mean that some random person was going around lying about a high school friendship though. It turned out the girl had said she met me when she was in high school, not that we went to high school together. No big conspiracy theory, just a simple case of crossed wires.
In most cases the deviation from the truth that stories take over time can be harmless. Sometimes the resulting fiction can be comical when compared to the simple truth. I was amused to read in the press a few years back that I was retiring from acting to become a professional wrestler. Now I will admit that one of my guilty pleasures is watching wrestling and I’ve had the chance to work out with a few of the guys, but that’s a far cry from getting in the ring.
Then again, there are times that the twisted truths aren’t so funny. Some rumors are so distorted that they can be truly unsettling to hear, painful even. Drug addiction, alcoholism, adultery, criminal behavior, and even death – those are all topics of terribly misinformed rumors I’ve heard about dear friends and relatives. And, the terribly sad part is that once a rumor is born it will never fully disappear. There will always be those who the truth never reaches, or those who have heard so many conflicting accounts that they wouldn’t trust the truth if it came with the blessing of the Pope. I’ve seen rumors hurt good people. Rumors rarely hurt careers – if anything scandal can often help careers. But, rumors do hurt people. Even though the stories being told about them are false, the tears I’ve seen people cry have been real.
I don’t think the world is filled with vindictive, hateful people. Yes there are some people that get giddy with glee in spreading rumors and slander about others, but they are in the minority. Most rumors are the result of casual attention to detail when telling stories, and that’s not likely to change. Nobody is going to employ a fact checker in day-to-day conversation. But communication is a responsibility. We need to be aware of our attention to detail in how we listen to the stories others tell us, and in turn in how we retell those same stories to others.
As always, I am your fan for you make my career possible. I thank you for your love and support.
Peace Love Trust
rikki lee travolta
Review other RLT commentary
It's All Relative
Stand Against Racism
Writing About Life
Crazy Pants Travolta
Gregory Hines
Everwood
Book Excerpt: Bus Fare
Learning to Stand
A Time of War
Country Charm
Talking Frankly About Family (& Christmas)
My Fractured Life
Forever Love
Good and Evil
Man Behind the Wheel
The Little Engine that Could: A Memorial
Perceptions of Perfection
Personal Decisions
Responsibility in Communication
You Done Good
Duality of Man
Evolution of a Hero
Reason to Quit - Stop Smoking
Beware of Stalkers
Dare to Dream
Do The Right Thing
Dealing with Abuse
Mother's Day
Right to Choose
Support the Cause
Just Try
Virtue of One
Martin Luther King Jr
Free Form Jazz
Creating the News
Great Expectations
Story of a Life
Acting 101
Why I Cried
Personal Values vs. Monetary Value
Broken Hearts
Dignity over Jealousy
Community Responsibility
Life, Honesty, and Integrity
Drug Withdrawal
Christmas Spirit
Rikki Lee Travolta's debut album!
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