Dear Friends,
A dear member of my family has recently been the targeted victim of a stalker. In researching our rights and how to protect ourselves from this criminal, the statistics that we found are frightening. According to the United States Justice Department, one million women and four hundred thousand men are stalked each year.
Stalking is generally classified as the willful, malicious and repeated following and harassing of another person. This can be done via telephone, in person, over the Internet, by fax, or via mail. Stalking does not necessarily need to include threats of violence, as that the harassment itself can be enough to instill a perception of malicious intent. Stalking not only applies to a stated or implied threat to the victim, but also in cases where the pursuit creates a reasonable fear of injury or death to a third party, such as the loved one of the targeted victim.
Stalkers feel the need to possess power over their victims. According to the Justice Department 80% of female victims are being pursued by someone from a prior relationship such as an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband who wants to force the victim to continue or rekindle an ended relationship. The Centers for Disease Control report that in such cases, most stalkers already emotionally, physically or sexually abused their victim during the failed relationship.
Surprisingly, despite having been previously abused by the stalker, many victims are under the misconception that because their stalker is known to them, he will be nonviolent. To the contrary, stalkers have been known to shoot, stab, slash and otherwise attack their victims or the victims’ loved ones. Even if the pursuer never resorts to violence, the unwanted attention can cause traumatic psychological damage to the victim.
Author Linden Gross is one of the nation’s leading authorities on stalkers, recognizing danger signs, and means of protection. In Gross’s book, To Have Or To Harm, she details that stalkers are actually seeking a positive reaction from their victim – such as an agreement to rekindle a failed romance. However, when they do not get the positive response they desire, they settle for a negative one such as fear or contempt. It is a twisted obsession, wherein the stalker often doesn’t hear what is said, but instead hear what they want to hear. A victim can repeatedly tell a stalker they want nothing to do with them, to not call, to not write, to never contact them again – and due to obsession, the stalker doesn’t hear a word of it. To the contrary, in their twisted mind they see the victim’s efforts of telling them to go away as encouragement to continue pursuing because the victim is at least talking to them.
So, what’s the answer? According to experts, the most important thing is to be proactive and direct. As soon as you see that someone is being overly persistent, you need to take the matter seriously. Whether you’re dealing with a former lover, colleague, or a stranger, you need to play it safe and protect yourself, your family, your home, and your work place. Don’t offer anything that could remotely be misconstrued as encouragement of their actions. Removing yourself from the stalker’s reach should be your top priority. Cut off all communication with the stalker: if they don’t know where you live, keep it that way; use an answering machine and/or caller ID to screen all calls. Most e-mail providers allow you to customize your settings to block specific e-mail addresses or allow only known addresses to correspond with you, take advantage of these features. Carry pepper spray and other self-protection devices.
Most importantly, keep local law enforcement informed of any potential stalkers. While laws vary from state to state, generally anti-stalking laws can be classified into three different categories related to penalties: 1) Those that make stalking a misdemeanor; 2) Those that make a first offense of stalking a misdemeanor and subsequent offenses felonies; and 3) Those that make stalking a felony.
As always, I am your fan and you are my family. It is unfortunate that there are sick and manipulative people in this world who commit these kinds of crimes, praying on the emotions of those who once trusted them. By being aware that stalking is a crime – even by someone you know, you can watch for the warning signs and protect yourself and your loved ones. It’s your life, value it and demand that others value it as well.
Peace Love Trust
rikki lee travolta
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