Apple Archives
Yum. Apple systems. Still a delicious pun. Delicious. Well, here they are. This would actually be the biggest section what with all the Crypt of Scum topics I saved a long time ago, but, too late now. To see why, go read my explanation somewhere else on the site. I forget where I wrote it, though. I guess you can look for it if you really want. It can be like a board hunt, except without clues, and not like a board hunt at all, really.

If anyone has any topics saved from the Crypt of Scum, from back when Scum was around, I'd really, really, really appreciate it if you could send them in. One topic that really stands out in my mind is the one about Scum Vs. outbreakorn, in which everybody was watching the battle from a distance, including the previously mentioned posters. That was back in late 2002, I think.
Apple II
  • Crypt of Scum - These next couple were sent in by WOWZERS. And I thought he hated me. He was a former Scum (and a mighty fine one based on identifying his posts with the account by a habit of his he told me about), so most the stuff he's sent me has to do with Scum. This "3 words story!" was made by Risky, who I just realized I haven't seen in way too long. Anyway, this topic is a fine testament to the excellent sentence-structuring skills of your average board hunter. I remember this. I think WOWZERS saved it very early in its life, because I think it got at least to two pages. I remember someone posted "partridge family bus" at one point, and then everybody kept just posting that same message over and over. Classic Crypt style.

  • Crypt of Scum - This was SouthB's "Farewell." topic. ..It's amazing how well I remember this topic, especially since I haven't read it in nearly three years now. Three years.. Damn. That night, when Scum was banned, obo made a few topics on the Crypt. This was one of them.

    ..Reading all of this now makes me feel very small..

  • Crypt of Scum - Oh, this was a classic. It's called "*disguises himself*" and it was created by that guy I didn't steal the idea for this site from. This's the only topic I've got saved from the Crypt before Scum was banned. Fun fact: I had been lurking on the Crypt since well before this was made, but my first post in this topic was only like the second post I've ever made there. Puts my collective lurkage into perspective, now doesn't it?

  • Crypt of Scum - Here's a topic LCC sent me yesterday. trickerys posted "I personally refuse to buy generic brand food." and everyone actually believed him! This topic proves why Crypt Of Scum is the best secret board of all time. I laughed so hard when I first read it that I actually had a sore throat for a few days. I guess it didn't help that I had my window open during a blizzard that night. Also, I was practicing my knife juggling act using only my tonsils.

  • Captain Goodnight - Here it is, the first topic I ever saved. Or at least the earliest one I saved that didn't get eaten by my old computer. Back when I had my first account, I saved a whole bunch of topics from the Crypt Of Scum and Captain Goodnight, but this is the only one left. I only still have this because it was on the floppy disk I used to save topics on and I hadn't transferred it to my hard drive. Too bad I lost the older ones. I had a lot of cool topics from the GameFAQs Golden Age (2001). Well, this here's the oldest topic on my site. It's the original guestbook for CG. It looks like I'd just made my second account when I saved this, judging by my rank. Oh deer, I've talked your ear off with my old man ramblings, haven't I? Oh, the topic? Ah, yes, a description and such. Well, looks like I've wasted all the space I'm alloted to talk about topics. I guess you'll just have to see for yourself.

  • Captain Goodnight - This was the oldest topic on CG for awhile. And rightfully so. Called "well, i hate to say it but..." and created by ZPO4O, this thing is just oozing with longevity. I mean, the premise of it insured it would last at least two years. See for yourself. I'm cutting off all the Captain Goodnight from here on after Scum got banned. They all lasted longer than that, but there was nothing really interesting posted after he was banned. All the posts were basically just there to keep the topic from purging (maybe I'll upload a full topic sometime to show you what I mean). There might have been some cool stuff, but, thanks to me, you'll never know. Ah, it warms my heart to ruin it for you. Kind of like heartburn.

  • Captain Goodnight - duckdu-- Er, I mean, Animal Chin created this. It's named "*You have found Animal Chin*". EEK! The Cat was also probably the third to best cartoon ever.

  • Captain Goodnight - Even if you've never been there, by reading these topics, you've probably absorbed a bit of Captain Goodnight lore and how the topics over there have their own style that you can't find anywhere else on GameFAQs. In this topic ("vote DK" - Samurai Ilama), you'll see Scum referring to Dawn as RdDragon. RdDragon was one of the older hunters. I've never posted over at obo's place, but from what I can piece together from other CG topics, Scum made an account called "RdDragon7" as a gag over there on SouthB's Outboards. He went around posting in the same manner as Dawn. Then Scum started referring to her as RdDragon on GameFAQs relentlessly. This is the result.

  • Captain Goodnight - "so there are 2 night boards?" was created by that one dude. You know the one.. that dude. Anyhow, it's only got two pages instead of the supposed six, so it's like a 2/3 off sale at your favorite store, except it's not your favorite store and instead of a price reduction you only get 1/3 of the product you want!

  • Captain Goodnight - That road hog, SlashBeastLeoX7268t5, posted "The PIE Button!" on CG. The links to any of the pages beyond the first don't work, but the link to the PIE button does. You have to click it.

  • Captain Goodnight - This topic is called "The Mega Video Game store" and its creator is called "High ride36". It's one of the more recent topics I saved, and it just purged. It's one of the few topics I actually got to after it was closed. Since it purged like all topics should (with 500 posts), there were 10 pages total, and as a special treat, you can read an entire half of the topic! Don't worry, everything after the fifth page wasn't very interesting and is even said to have caused not apples.

  • Captain Goodnight - A man of many videogames created this topic, "PennyRoyal Tea!" I believe it's about the time Kurt Cobain had an abortion or something. Anyway, there's only two pages still with us. But the ignorant may mourn the dead.

  • Captain Goodnight - This is "My topic." as Scum would say.

  • Captain Goodnight - More Scum/Dawn/Rd awesomeness on "Hi Captain Goodnight" by Yuffie Kisaragi. If you read it, you will be happy or my money back!

  • Captain Goodnight - Here we see a topic created by a very, very lonely man born of videogames. It's called "I'll give you a hug. Yes a Hug!". He tried to get people to tell him something personal about themselves to further fuel his plans for world domination. Luckily, it only worked on a few people, so we can all live in a tyrant-free world today. Now if you'll all excuse me, I'm off to grovel at the overlord's feet.

  • Captain Goodnight - Here's another one by man of videogames. It's called "Chicken Tenders dipped in Vanilla Ice Cream!" and it's pretty much the only thing I've ever seen him talk about. Only the first two pages.

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