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Rar rar rar.

Ever say something really stupid? Me and my friends do. A lot. More than you or I or Paul McCartney or Mardi Gras or that stupid third triangle or granite could ever imagine. So, I wrote a few things down. Keep in mind, this is all stupid crazy stuff. If you're offended by ANY of this, you're probably a jackass.


Dan S: If I'm in your seat...you should probably find a new seat.

Waitress: Can I get you some more breadsticks?
Shaun: Is that a rhetorical question?

Ryan C: Cuz when Mario dies, Luigi's just like "I'm here."
Dan S: "..and significantly taller."

Dan S: There's too many Ryan's.
Ryan M: Yeah there is.
Dan S: Damn them all.

Ryan M: Why would he taste like peppermint? Peppermint is red.
Ryan C: Seriously? Aww damn.....
(1 min later)
Ryan C: ... he still tastes like peppermint.
Eric C: Why's he not red?
Ryan C: He's Italian.

Ryan C: Look, we made stars! *points to glowing ashes on ground*
Dan S: It's not as hard as you make it look, God! *shakes fist at sky*

Ryan C: Mrs. Cook, can we seize the day?
Mrs. Cook: 'Carpe diem', yes.
Ryan C: Can we seize it, though?

Ryan M: Do you know the words?
Dan S: Uh, maybe.
Ryan M: Ok, what's 'ameliorate' mean?
Dan S: Is that one of the words?
Ryan M: So no.

Ryan M: What if someone had an outtie but at the end it was an innie?
Dan S: What?
Ryan M: What if someone had an outtie but at the end it was an innie?
Dan S: Tube?
Ryan M: Like a suction cup.

Mrs. Cook: Given it's a funeral, you might present this in somber apparrel. No, not a somberero.

Mr. Hatfield: Just say 'no' to reading.

(After reading www.yellow5.com/pokey/archive/index189.html.)
Ryan M: Maybe she's Christ.

Josh G: I'll give your "rock" a "pop."
Ryan M: Worst. Pun. Ever.
Josh G: Get it? They're synonyms!
Lee S: Cinnamon!

Dan S: My soda is hiding.
Soda: I'm hiding, I'm hiding.
Dan S: Awww...
Soda: Just kidding, Dan. You can have me. *vends*
Dan S: Hooray.

Ryan M: God Bless you. Unless you're Muslim.
Dan S: Shalom!

Ryan M: Can I have my Mountain Dew cap back?
Eric C: You're an Indian Giver.
Ryan M: I'm an Indian. Can I have my cap back?
Eric C: Feathers or dots?
Ryan M: Feathers.
Eric C: Then no.

Rob B: Life is so LONG!

Rob B: Excuse me while I sharpen my wit.

Rob B: I have the coolest login ever. "Bradrob."
Rob B: That is so cool.

Rob B: You know what'd be even cooler? "Bradorb."
Rob B: Like you switch the letters around?
Rob B: That'd be even cooler.

Rob B: Geez, Albert Einstein talked a lot.

Ryan M: What if I just drove to Oregon this afternoon?
Dan S: I would cry.
Cody M: You would cry? Then I would cry too.
Ryan M: Ha, WUSS!

Matt D: I am a programming God.

Matt D: I'm gonna make Hitler babies!

(After looking at Simple Case Search - Wisconsin Circuit Court Access.)
Ryan M: I looked for Jesus Christ already.
Dan S: Did you find anything?
Ryan M: Nope, he's clean.

Ryan M: Dyspepsia! For those who think young!

Matt D: I wanna see Shaq have sex. Seriously, wouldn't he just kill anybody?

Ryan C: Ostriches are the stupidest animals ever.
Ryan C: Sure they run fast, but where are they going?

Willy J: I used to be scared of Oscar the Grouch.
Ryan M: Why? Cuz he's so grouchy?
Willy J: No. His can was...mysterious...

Ryan M: Remember when if I did this I could get suspended? *makes gun motions*
Dave D: Yup, those were the days.

Dan: He's like 'What's 0 x 0?' and I'm like '100, cuz there's two of them and one of me."

Ryan M: How can milk have sex?
Rob B: How can pudding wrestle?

Ryan C: Lemonade is good, lemonade is grand, and you suck.
Dan S: Concise and to the point.

Ryan M: Ok Dan, whst are some good things about me?
Dan S: Um...you got a watch...right? Am I wrong?

Ryan M: Today is not a day for work.
Ryan M: Today, I become a man.
Ryan M: Jenny, come here.

Ryan M: My life could NEVER fit on a single CD.
Ryan L: Sure it could.
Ryan L: Use Winzip.

Dan S: Make fun of deaf people all you want.
Dan S: As long as they can't hear you.

Mrs. Cook: Some of you will be thinking, "My God, could we go any slower if we tried?"
Mrs. Cook: And to you I'll answer, "We can try."

Ryan M: What do "university" and "universal" have in common besides kind of how they're spelled?
Dan S: I can put my fist in 'em.
Dan S: *puts fist in mouth*

Mrs. Cook: Ultranationalistic. Say that six times fast.
Dan S: Ultranatur-
Dan S: HALF!

Ryan M: I'm gonna have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast.
Dad: Good, that's probably better than half the cereals you eat anyway.
Ryan M: Even better than Lucky Charms?
Dad: Well, it's not "magically delicious", but-
Ryan M: YES IT IS.

Ryan M: I wanna do something destructive.
Ryan M: Lets go to Culvers and steal one of those little blue signs they give you when you order food.

Nichole S: Your site is like the Bible.
Nichole S: Only truer.

Mike B: Alpha, beta, delta, zeta?
Ryan M: Gamma.
Mike B: No, that's not right.
Ryan M: Omega.
Mike B: Yeah.
Ryan M: I'm just saying things.

Images, movies, games, quotes, and lots of other crap are being used without permission. Thanks for not suing. <3
Published 2004 MyWonderfulHomepage.