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Simpson Quotes
Homer Quotes
- "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel."
- "Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems."
- "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? "
- "Whoooa, that's hot. There isn't a man alive who wouldn't get turned on by that. Well, goodbye!"
- " Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat! "
- "If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, its that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling foxy boxy and such and such... "
- "Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. "
- "This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit."
- "Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close."
- "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. "
- "I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"
- "Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. "
- "My baloney has a first name, its h-o-m-e-r, My baloney has a second name, its h-o-m-e-r... "
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Bart Quotes
Marge Quotes
Lisa Quotes
Random Quotes
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