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Blonde Jokes
Short Blonde Joke
How do you kill a dumb blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.
Submitted by Miguel
Painter
A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells on the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter.
"I'm here for the paint job," she said.
"Alright," said the man. "Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house."
The blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coating.
After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, "I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn't a porsche out back. It's a new BMW.
Submitted by Don
Short Blonde Joke
How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
There's white-out on the screen.
Short Blonde Joke
How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
There's writing on the white-out.
Short Blonde Joke
Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
Toes go in first.
Short Blonde Joke
What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted.
Short Blonde Joke
What does a blonde say when she gives birth?
Gee, Are you sure it's mine?
Contractor
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.
In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!"
In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.
In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
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