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Family Guy Quotes



  • Quagmire: "Here's to the Drunken Clam, where they don't ask for proof of ID and neither do I."



  • Peter: "Everybody I've got bad news. We've been cancelled."

    Lois: "Oh no Peter! How could they do that?"

    Peter: "Well unfortuantely Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80's Show, Wonder Falls, Fast Lane, Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Skin, Girl's Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda At Large, Costello, The Lone Gunman, A Minute with Stan Hooper, Normal Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddy, The Street, American Embassy, Cedric The Entertainer, The Tick, Louie, And Greg The Bunny"

    Lois: "Is there no hope?"

    Peter: "Well I suppose if ALL those shows go down the tubes we might have a shot."



  • Meg: "I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts." (Lois and Peter stare in silence)

    Meg: "I'm allergic to peanuts." (Peter and Lois keep staring)

    Meg: "You dont know anything about me."(runs upstairs)

    Peter: "Who was that guy?"



  • Lois: "I care about the size of your penis as much as you care about the size of my breasts."

    Peter: "Oh my God!" (runs off crying)



  • Quagmire: "Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time."






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