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Men-Women Jokes



Nude Beach

One day, a kid's mom and dad took him to a nude beach. The kid went to play in the water and came back a little while later and told his mom "I just saw a woman who had bigger things than you do mom”. His mom replied, "The bigger the woman's boobs the dumber the woman”.

So, the boy went out to play again, and came back a little while later and said to his mom "Mom, I just saw a man who has a bigger thing than Dad”. His mom replied "The bigger the thing, the dumber the guy."

So the kid went out to play again, then came back and told his mom "Daddy was talking to a woman, and he kept getting dumber and dumber”.

This joke was submitted by John S.




Supper

"Honey," a man said to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."




Depressed Newlywed

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."

Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4 letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please mama!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset.... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"

This joke was submitted by Brian A.




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