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Seinfeld Quotes Jerry Quotes "Produce section. Very provocative area. A lot of melons and shapes. Everyone's squeezing and smelling..." "Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise." "Knowing you is like going into the jungle, I don't know what I'll find next, and I'm real scared." "Hello, Newman." "I'm not sure and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I see a nipple." "I'm lactose intolerant. I have no patience for lactose and I won't stand for it." "In fact, I hate anyone that ever had a pony when they were growing up." "Not that there's anything wrong with that" "Don't you see? No boxers, No Jockeys. The only thing between him and us is a thin layer of Gaberdeen." "Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason." "Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year's gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it's not to be. That for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably. Happy birthday? No such thing." "I can't be with someone like me. i hate myself!" "I see a very cheap man holding a sweater trying to get away with something. That's my overview." Kramer Quotes "Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious!" "Oh, yeah? So what am I supposed to do, be more like you? All sealed up in here, emotionally unavailable, paying scrub women for sexual favors! No! Jerry, I won't be like you! Never! I'll never be like you!" "Look at you! Look at what you've sunk to! Look at what you've become! Look in the mirror, cause you need help, Jerry. You need help, because I can't stand by and do it anymore. It's turning my stomach! I can't stand around here watching you destroy yourself. It's eating me up inside!" "These pretzels are making me thirsty!" "I'm out there Jerry, and I'm lovin every minute of it!" "Giddy-up!" "I'm out! Yeah, I'm out of the contest." "I'm Cosmo Kramer, the assman." "Yo yo ma." "Cat fight!" "Boxers! How do you wear these things? Look, theyre baggin' up, they're ridin' in here! And there's nothin' holdin' me in place, i'm flippin im floppin!" George Quotes "Shhh! I gotta focus. I'm shifting into soup mode." "My name is George. I am unemployed and I live with my parents." "This woman hates me so much. I'm starting to like her." "I'm a great quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. I was raised to give up." "It's not a lie, if you believe." "Everything I've ever done or said is the complete opposite of what I've wanted." "I can't carry a pen, I'm afraid it'll puncture my scrotum." "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!" "Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy." "I think it moved!" "A George divided against itself can not stand." "Let's face it, I was always handicapped. I'm just now getting credit for it." Elaine Quotes "Get out!" "He's not idiotic! He's the Wiz. Nobody beats him! Nobody!" "I don't have a square to spare." "Stella!!" "Well, I'd watch the third base coach if I were you cause I don't think he's waving you in." "He took it out." Random Quotes "Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way!" - Frank Costanza "No soup for you!" - Soup Nazi "You got a question, you ask the 8-ball." - Puddy "Work? It's raining. I called in sick. I don't work in the rain." - Newman "When you control the mail, you control information!" - Newman "You stole my Jesus fish." - Puddy "I'll handle this Violet. Why don't you take your 3 hour break?" - Newman Got a quote we dont have? Think its funny enough for this page? Then send it on over and you will receive full credit! jokersjokes9@gmail.com

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