You preferred Kerry's statements 100% of the time Voting purely on the issues you should vote Kerry Who would you vote for if you voted on the issues? Find out now!

This is actually true. I tried this four times, three times I got 100% Kerry/0% Bush, and once I got 78% Kerry/22% Bush. Of course, if I could vote, I'd vote Nader. Goooooo Nader!

Traffic Lights

I nearly got in a car accident on the way home from Carley's house tonight. Why? Because people can not use traffic lights.

If the traffic lights are out and they are blinking red and amber in opposite directions, it is not a four-way stop. The people going towards the amber light can go, the people going towards the red light stop and wait for the traffic to clear so they can go. So, in other words, it's a two-way stop. Not four-way. Learn the rules. Don't kill me. Because I'll come back.

Wow, that...sucks

Ladies and gentlemen, I am soon to become a millionaire. Allow me to quote the very professional e-mail I got about my winnings:

"We discovered an abandoned sum of US$20,000,000.00 (Twenty Million Dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family."

Now, that probably looks like just about every other one of those things you get, except for the "died along with his entire family" part. No one would make that up. I mean, ouch. Not only did they miss out on their $20 mil, but their entire family died. Seriously, that's got to suck. Really, what happened? Did the $20,000,000 have anything to do with it? Were they killed for the money? Killed by the money? Think about it. Twenty mil is probably pretty heavy. It was probably all stored up in an attic or something. Family reunion. Termitey floorboards. Crash.

But, nonetheless, looks like I'll be collecting $20 mil. All it took was the extinction of an entire side of a family tree.

October is...

During my travels to discover just how bad Blockbuster's reputation with the Better Business Bureau is, I discovered a very interesting tidbit:

Did you know that October is "Protecting Older Americans from Fraud" month at the BBB? I sure didn't. Now I do. And so do you.

Quarters

I'm sure most of you have heard the debate about the new quarters issued by Canada. You've probably got a couple right now, you just haven't noticed (I, for one, do not make it a point to study my change when I get it, although I'm sure it's a fascinating pasttime). The quarters I'm talking about are the ones with the red poppy in the middle.

Now, much of the uproar is about the fact that, if you take a knife or rub it for a sustained amount of time, the red ink on the poppy comes off. The poppy doesn't come off, the red does. The poppy is stamped into the coin, making it pretty damned permanent. Nonetheless, there has been a huge kerfuffle about how inconsiderate and incompetent the government is. I mean, really, couldn't they have found something better for the 30 million coins they put into production?

(The people who are complaining, by the way, fall into the same group of people who complained that if you froze a toonie and whacked it with a hammer, the center would pop out).

I read the Toronto Star, and, for the most part, they offer a pretty even view of both sides of an issue, but on this issue they have pretty much stayed on the "Government bad, Army good" side. Until today. There was a letter from a lady pointing out that it's not the fact that the poppy is red that makes us remember, it's the fact that the poppy is...get this...a poppy! Oh, heaven forebear! Come on, there's nearly one of these coins for every person in the country. And if you take out babies and people who only use debit, we don't even need to share. People are going to remember!

What did you want them to do? Make the poppy out of copper, so it was a different colour than the rest of the coin? Then you'd just put them in the freezer!

Better Business Bureau

I decided to head on over to the Better Business Bureau's website and see what I could find out about Blockbuster. And, in fact, I came out with some interesting information:

1) Blockbuster Canada is not a member of the Better Business Bureau. I'm not sure why, but I think it's pretty safe to say that this particular section in the BBB's membership standards is a little scary:

• V. Customer Service
• Promptly respond to any and all complaints forwarded by the Bureau, and make a good faith effort to resolve all such complaints in accordance with generally accepted good business practices.

2) The corporate office in Texas was in the BBB, but now has an unsatisfactory record with the Bureau. Why?

"Based on BBB files, this company has an unsatisfactory record with the Bureau due to one or more unanswered complaints regarding regarding billing and dissatisfaction with the company's service. Additionally, this company has an unsatisfactory record with the Bureau due to a pattern of complaints regarding billing issues and customer service issues."

Isn't that great? One country's head office isn't even in the Bureau, and the other country's office couldn't even maintain membership.

Don't get too excited

Should the Boston Red Sox win the World Series (and at the writing of this post, it looks extremely probable, seeing as its 3-0 in the bottom of the eighth), the Curse of the Bambino will be officially broken. Prepare for the Curse of the Bam-bean-o (listen, it's late, that's the best I've got).

There seems to be a belief that the Red Sox winning will be sweet justice, as they not only defeated George Steinbrenner's Evil Empire to win the World Series, but that they came back from three games down (which no team has ever done) and then swept the 100th World Series. But, really, is there any real difference between the Yankees and the Red Sox?

The teams had the first and second highest opening day payrolls in baseball, with a combined cost of just over $308 million. New York's payroll is about $57 million higher than Boston's, and Boston's is another $50 million higher than St. Louis (11th).

Both teams have all-star calibre pitching rotations, that could, at the drop of the hat, all go on the DL at any time - Mike Mussina and Kevin Brown. Pedro Martinez and Curt Schilling. Jon Lieber. Tim Wakefield.

Both teams overspent on a player that hasn't produced up to potential and spends a lot of time moping (Manny Ramirez and Derek Jeter, and don't get me started on A-Rod).

The major difference between the two teams, of course, is in the front office. Steinbrenner has no real idea what he's doing, so he just opens his wallet, and Boston owner John Henry is just trying to keep pace. New York GM Brian Cashman generally goes out and gets who The Boss wants, Boston GM Theo Epstein falls in that Beane-Ricciardi-De Podesta category of the "New GM".

*********

Well, the Red Sox just won, so now the "Impossible Dream" has come true. The team with the $125 million payroll managed to win, and the second highest paid player in baseball was named the World Series MVP. Thank God it wasn't the Yankees, they give baseball a bad name.

At least Bill Buckner can get his first good night's sleep in 18 years.

The Mob at Georgian

This is going to sound very strange, but I am seriously beginning to suspect that a student at Georgian may be part of the Russian mob. Well, I'm not entirely sure if he's Russian; he could be Ukrainian, but I'm pretty sure he's Eastern European at the very least.

My reasoning (other than a general suspicion that most people are part of the Russian mob)? On my first day, while I was sitting during my break, and this guy walked up to another student, and said, "Aren't you supposed to be breaking someone's legs?" Now, normally, I would dismiss this as a joke, you know, friendly leg-breaking conversation between friends. Except that the guy kind of stuttered and then said, "Uh...yeah." Not exactly the most jovial response.

After a few days of watching this guy (he must be a business student, we always seem to cross paths), I realized that people give him a huge berth when he passes. Seriously, it's like they kind of camouflage into their surroundings when he passes. Their skin and clothes suddenly take the shape of a photocopier and they're gone.

Now, there haven't been any disappearances on campus yet, but we have had a lot of construction...and I think we've all seen Hoffa...

In conclusion, because two pieces of evidence and a movie reference is all I need, I have determined that he must, at least, be a middle manager in the grand scheme of Russian mob things. Not quite running the joint, but when you need a set of legs broken, you better believe he'll delegate someone to do it.

I got my pay from Blockbuster!

Well, no actually, I didn't. I just wanted you to be happy so that you'd be more outraged when I tell you that I didn't get my paycheque and that it doesn't exactly look like it'll be coming any time soon.

I got an e-mail back from Scott in Human Resources, who had attached an e-mail from Phil in Payroll, illustrating where my pay had come from. It was a very pretty little spreadsheet, with all of my hours, and vacation, and money earned. Seriously, it was very well set up.

I was paid for two vacation days, as, apparently, that's all I had left. The only problem with that is that I had 10 left. 10. As in two weeks worth. Not two days.

Allow me to illustrate my reasoning for this (as no one at head office or store level seems particularly concerned with this). When it was decided that I was to drop down to a shift leader, I had 10 vacation days left. I was going to work three days a week and take two vacation days to make up my 44 hours, and at the end of two weeks, I would be paid out the remainder. I would have dropped down to a shift leader the same day as I quit, so it works out the same.

The First Week: I worked four shifts (yeah, that was fun with school) and took a stat day as my fifth day because of Labour Day.

Vacation Days Remaining: 10-0=0

The Second Week: My last week. I worked on Friday and Saturday, 13.55 hours total (oh, and an inventory as a last shift, not fun). I got 16 hours in vacation pay, to boost my hours to 29.55, which is what I was paid for.

Vacation Days Remaining: 10-2=8

And, of course, to rectify this problem, Scott has asked Elisa (who doesn't know me, and didn't know what I had worked out with Derrick) and Matt (who's not entirely of this world) to see if they can figure out what I'm missing. Oooh yeah, I can see this fixing itself up very nicely.

On a final note, I am still expecting to get my Blockbuster folding chair. I worked there for three years, damn it!

Nad, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Coffee

Nad came up from Waterloo on Saturday - the first time I've seen him for any substantial amount of time in...well...months, I guess. He came up to drop someone off at home last weekend and stopped into work, so we made plans for Saturday, which we were both, amazingly, able to stick too.

He had to work in the morning, and got up to Orangeville about 6:30. We hadn't actually gone so far as to, you know, plan on what we were actually going to do on a Saturday night, but we decided to go see The Grudge. It didn't start until 7:30, so we walked around for 45 minutes or so before we went into the theatre - filled with stupid teenage girls, by the way.

The movie pretty much oozed cheese. Seriously, all the stupid, amateurish, you've-got-to-be-kidding-me things that a good director would never do in 100 years, this movie did. Nad was on a roll, and called four separate plot points in a row - nearly down to the actual words they used. Basically, the movie was pretty bad, and not all that scary, even if Nad and I did have our seats kicked several times throughout the movie.

Afterwards, we went to the Coffee House, where we both got hot apple cider that was bloody excellent. It came with a cinammon stick in it, which made a very good makeshift straw (and yes, we both attempted to use it as a straw at different points in time). We got kicked out at 10, so we went to Second Cup, where, minutes after we arrived, the girls from the Coffee House came in.

Once we were done there, we took a drive out along Hockley Rd., and called it a night. It was definitely very fun, even if I didn't get to see Carley all day (sorry), but yes, it was very good to catch up with Nad and hear all of his plans for the future. We said we'd have to do it again soon, so that oughta mean about another six months or so.

Why Blockbuster Sucks

Nancy and Kris have both gotten letters stating that if they do not increase their availability to four days a week, they will be...well...the letter doesn't actually say anything about what will happen. But you better believe it'll be something drastic.

Or will it?

First off, the store does not have the hours available to give them each four shifts a week, plus five each for Matt, Dave, and Lisa, plus another four for DJ as he's a shift leader, too. That's 27 shifts right there. The store only uses between 35 and 40 shifts a week. So, the eight CSRs get, what, four hours a week?

Secondly, according to good ol' Jim "What do you mean benefits?" Hache, the only people who should be working that much are salaried managers. Why? Because anyone who passes a certain threshold of hours over a period of time qualifies for employee benefits. And Blockbuster doesn't want that (and that's an entirely different post). If they work four shifts a week, they will be coming extremely close to that threshold.

So, you must be available to work four shifts a week, but we can't give it to you, but if you don't, something scary and mystical will happen to you. Like you'll find a horse head in your bed.

No laughing matter

Ahahahahahahahahahaha!

Oh...I'm sorry...excuse me...to the people in New York, and the Yankee fans around the world, I truly...am...sorry...*snort*

Ahahahahahahahaha!

Stupid College Student Comment of the Day (and I Quote)

"I wonder if you'd ever walk backwards up an incline."

I'm sorry...what?

What makes Aladdin such a great movie?

Monkey...in...a fez. 'Nuff said.

Death

Now, I realize it is 2:10 AM, and I'm not a licensed doctor, but I think I'm qualified to announce that I'm dying. Seriously. Since about 9:30 p.m. tonight, I've been dying.

My symptoms:

• The inside of my face itches
• I have a cough that pretty much just started from me eating a little cookie
• A small section of the rainforest has been dedicated solely to my Kleenex needs

So, as you can see, I'm dying. I thought I had it beat for a while - if I stand up, I'm fine. I soon discovered, though, that, for some reason, as soon as I bend any part of my body, I start dying again. Apparently, I am the exact perfect height for excellent health. Assuming I don't want to do anything or go anywhere.

All I ask from you during this difficult transition is to not donate money to the rainforest. I need those trees!

Chris Turner and the Simpsons

I got (and very early, I might add) a book sent to me today from Chapters: "Planet Simpson", by Chris Turner. Thank you Jeebus.

In September 2002, Turner wrote an article for Shift Magazine (I miss you Shift...) called "The Simpson's Generation" which was, if nothing else, bloody brilliant. There really aren't enough words to describe it. Turner won a ton of awards for it (among other articles, the guy's fabulous), and you can understand why. There's an excerpt of it here.

Anyway, the book. Apparently, the Shift article spawned the book, so I fully expect it to be marvellous. I ordered it on Wednesday night, and it came in two days. Two. Chapters and Chris Turner have turned this into a very good October 15th.

So now, I have a collection of Chuck Palahniuk short stories, Le Morte d'Arthur, and now Planet Simpson on the go. That should take me a couple of years.

Thanksgiving in Bowmanville

I know, I know, it's nearly an entire week removed from when it actually happened, but I'm getting to it!

Anyhoo, Carley and I went to Bowmanville for Thanksgiving dinner with her parents on Sunday. Why Bowmanville? Why not? Actually, Carley's maternal grandparents live in Bowmanville, hence, Bowmanville. I think I've met just about all of Carley's family now, save for a few reclusive cousins (geography, after all, requires a very studious mind). They have nothing on my family.

It also turns out that the cultural divide in the world is not as wide as some would have us believe. Grandmas everywhere are the same. They are only out for one thing: To make sure you never, ever, even after you're dead, go hungry. Not like it matters, it was excellent food.

So yes, it was very good fun, I love doing the family things, as long as I'm not the centre of attention. Which, luckily, Carley's Uncle Gary and Aunt Marsha made sure I wasn't.

And, for the record, for actual Thanksgiving, my family went to Montana's after their weekend away. That was very good, too. But slightly more expensive. Grandmas are very economical.

Don't step in the leadership

First, to Scott Adams, I apologize for pilfering (heh, pilfer) the title of one of your Dilbert books. I really and truly do. It just works so well.

Carley was closing last night (beginning her string of about 10 days in a row without a break from school/work). She had loaned her store key to someone from the other store because he had to close on Tuesday. She never got it back. Around 12:30 last night, she realized this. She came and grabbed me to help her get into the store, and, once she did, she needed to find a key. So, she called around.

Kelly, Store Manager, 07376: Left message
Kris, Assistant Store Manager, 07376: Left message
Phil, Shift Supervisor, 07376: Answered, drove 30 minutes into town, locked store

Apparently, a telephone ringing at 12:30 at night did not alert Kris or Kelly that something might be afoot. This, however, was Phil's first reaction. Ah, leadership.

And, in an interesting twist, I called Ben to find out what happened to his key when he was terminated. Carley had asked Kris if he gave it back, and Kris said that he had, but never actually said where it was. Turns out, Ben gave it to Elisa (the District Manager), who probably melted it down or mounted it on her wall or something. Kinda like a hunting trophy.

Why Rob? Why, damn it, why?

My favourite writer at ESPN.com, Rob Neyer, has done the unthinkable (well, it probably wasn't him, but I don't know who to blame, so it's gotta be him.)

If you want to read one of his columns, you need to pay $39.95 a year (or just $6.95 a month) for the right. Bah! Jayson Stark is still free, for crying out sakes! And he refers to himself as "We".

Just go here and you'll see what I mean. Horrible. Just horrible.

"Springfield cops are on the take,
But what do you expect for the money we make?
Whether in a car, or on a horse,
We don't mind using excessive force.
Bad cops, bad cops.
Bad cops, bad cops."

And with that, I give you my two police moments today. Frankly, I'm surprised there were only two, usually I see tons of cops on my way to school, but today, only two. Luckily, they were gems.

First, one that I think everyone has experienced. Sitting at the lights out front of Georgian, there is a cop turning left. The filtered green comes on, but instead of just going with the traffic, he turns his lights on, everyone waits, he goes around the corner, gets into the right lane, and turns his lights off. The best part? Because everyone had to hurry all of a sudden to catch the green, there was almost an accident.

Second, I'm driving home, and am coming up Hanson, right before my house. There is a cop tailgating a car in front of me (seriously, he's maybe two feet behind her). As soon as the road split to two lanes, the cop flew past the car (which was already going 10 over, by the way). He then proceeded to make a right hand turn from the left lane. And he was still going easily 80. Had it not been for traffic, he probably wouldn't have even bothered to stop at the stop sign.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why people do not respect cops. I know it's not everyone, but there are enough stupid ones out there to give all the rest a bad name.

On second thought

Maybe that pre-age 24 brain thing isn't so crazy, after all. HA! Just kidding. It's crap.

Anyway, I'm glad Simon's alright, he always seems to be when stuff like this happens.

Stupidity

A judge just acquitted a 21-year-old of assault, citing "Teen-Brain Syndrome". In a nutshell, the defense states that since teenager's brains basically grow completely out of control from about ages 16-24, that teenager's are not responsible for their actions.

OK, now, first, does this not basically say that no one can be considered an adult until they're 24. So much for 18th birthday parties meaning anything at all (not that they mean much now. Smokes and porn!)

Secondly, it actually allows people to do just about anything and argue that, "Well, my brain was trying to escape through my right ear when I hit that schoolbus of nuns, Your Honour".

I mean, come on, really, at no point when I was ages 16-24 (well, there are three years left, so who knows?) did my brain tell me, "Hey, your girlfriend's really pretty. Better slap her in the mouth, and nearly break her friend's hand in a desk. Oh, by the way, all your friends are jumping off a bridge. They're cool."

New poems

Good sweet Mike, I actually wrote new poetry! Go here

Blockbuster Physics

Blockbuster has abandoned (like it ever got fully adopted) its latest store efficiency/effectiveness plan, "Project Store". Their new ploy/plan is simply entitled "MORE". You may have seen the ads. You know, the ones where they spent a fortune on the celebrity (William Shatner or Carmen Electra, for example) and then realized that they blew the budget and couldn't afford, you know, sets or scripts or stuff like that.

Now, what could this MORE mean? MORE focus on customers? MORE movies? MORE games? Nope. In the manager's guide (yeah, I've still got my connections), the very first line is "MORE from employees". FROM! Not for employees. Ooooooh no. From employees.

Basically, Blockbuster new theory is that, with fewer available hours, more work can be accomplished, with better results. Oh yeah, and employees would be happy to do this for no extra pay.

Now, I know Blue Light says that less is more (or, more accurately, MORE), but, guess what, in Earth-World, it doesn't work like that. I can almost see the Dilbert cartoon forming: "Work smarter, not harder."

Wait...hold on a minute...greater demand, lower supply...if not for the fact that prices aren't going up, I'd swear Blockbuster had just invaded a foreign country to get at their movies...

More reasons why Blockbuster sucks

Nancy was written up this week for having someone in the store on August 26th, 2004. The only problem with that: she did not work between August 22nd, 2004 and October 8th, 2004. Nice.

Co-Op Hour

I have to get up every Friday and get to school for a one-hour co-op class, the basic point of this being to help guide us through looking for, applying to, and getting a co-op placement come April 2005. Seems like a good idea, right? Wrong.

You know there's a problem when you're not graded in the course, instead you get a mark of attend/did not attend. Not a great sign!

Today, we practised - wait for it - shaking hands. Shaking hands! OK, now, I know most of the people in my class are 17-year-old girls (not to stereotype, but they're dumb) but come on! Monkeys can shake hands! Not even special monkeys (but really, aren't all monkeys special?). Monkeys that don't even know how to talk can shake hands!

Well, to be honest, that's not all we did. We talked about what questions we could expect when we go to the interviews, and how to act. It basically came down to - get this - you should dress formally, comb your hair, and show up on time. Really. I was just going to roll out of bed at noon, throw on a shirt, and roll in around 1ish. Thank you co-op hour.

Oh yeah, and to make matters worse, due to traffic, I came in at about 12:00:47 (honestly, I looked at the clock, it's got a second hand). She had already taken attendance. These women (we actually have two...instructors, I suppose you'd call them) are way too gung-ho to teach us the basics of not getting fired.

So, come April, when I go for my interview(s), I will be sure to arrive early, dress myself in a suit, and shake my supervisor's hand. I'm amazed I've gotten any jobs with my usual routine of wearing a suede jumpsuit, waiting by my supervisor's car after work, and then poking him in the eyes à la The Three Stooges.

New rule: Anyone with a job automatically gets an "Attend" mark for the class.

Old Person Drivers

I came to the stop sign at the intersection of Michael Dr. and Lisa Marie Dr. today on my way home. There was a car in front of me, stopped at the sign, with two people inside. For some reason, the car just wasn't going. It's only a two-way stop, but there was no traffic. So, as I'm sure many of you would do, I honked. I think the driver was asleep! As soon as I honked, she jerked, slammed on the gas, and, as a result, stalled the car in the middle of the intersection.

If you suffer from narcolepsy, driving and you do not mix.

Brave girl

Somehow, Carley has managed to stay with me for 18 wonderful months. Happy year-and-a-half-iversary, sweetie!

Blockbuster Memories...

I got my last paycheque from Blockbuster and got paid for 29.55 hours. The only problem with that: I was still a salaried manager and was entitled to 44 hours of pay. Which, looking at my paycheque amounts to about $219.69. You had better believe HR will be hearing about this in my exit interview.

Excellent Quote

Thank you to my, once again, intrepid scout Jordan Davidson. He didn't say it, but it's his MSN name:

John Kerry: "Invading Iraq in response to 9/11 is like FDR invading Mexico in response to Pearl Harbor".

Why I hate Rosie DiManno

Well, I don't really hate Rosie. I've never met her. I don't imagine we'd get along very well, but who can say that for sure. Let's just say I hate her writing.

Rosie DiManno is a columnist for the Star who, it seems, specializes in playing Devil's Advocate to really whatever the popular opinion of the day is. The only problem is, you can't really tell what her point is. Why? Rosie DiManno is the Queen of the $64,000 Word. She never met a seven-letter word she didn't like.

Consider the capsule statement from her latest column, in Friday's Star:

"Those were eyeball-riveting headlines last week, when appeal lawyers for convicted murderer Robert Baltovich unleashed their Paul Bernardo-as-real-killer evidentiary construct in the 1990 death of Elizabeth Bain."

Eyeball-riveting? Unleashed? Evidentiary construct? Come on now. I realize that with column writing, you do have some leeway, but really. Never has someone said so little while writing so much (movie critic Geoff Pevere has a similar problem, but I'm not annoyed with him today).

DiManno is clearly a very smart woman, and researches her stories very well, but she babbles so much whatever research she includes gets hidden between the "appellant factum"s and "disreputable cohort"s.

I'm getting tired of this!

It started off as a normal Friday. The roads were clogged with old people doing 105 in the middle lane of a 400-series highway, there were transport trucks everywhere, and no radio stations were playing music.

Then, I got to school and realized, once again, that they (Georgian) have closed another parking lot for an outdoor snowboarding expo. Last week it was the car show, this week it's a snowboarding expo. Georgian seems to have a big problem with everything being outdoor. Now, the snowboarding expo would be hard to do indoors, but did the car show really need to take up three of the biggest parking lots in the school?

And, as if closing the parking lots off wasn't enough (and don't even get me started on the fact that there are more parking passes than parking spots), you get assholes who part across two spaces, or, even better, park where there are no spaces! Particularly when that means that you block off an exit to a parking lot. You can't just park wherever the hell you want!

Georgian is an hour away from Toronto, and, as such, that pretty much qualifies it as a commuter school. So, as a commuter school, they have got to be a hell of a lot more vigilant about making sure people aren't parked illegally, or impeding the flow of traffic (like the people who park in the middle of a roadway for no other purpose than to eat Crunch 'n' Munch). I can understand over-selling the lots, but come on, you've got to make sure people aren't taking advantage of stuff!