In the Spirit of the Season

Please...please salt my road. I like Christmas, I enjoy the season, but I would enjoy it a lot more with fully functioning arms and legs.

Glove slap ba-aaaby

I was bloghopping a few weeks ago, and came across a blog that actually makes me want to slap my computer nearly every time I read it.

To understand my logic on the computer slappage front, just read his December 15, 2004 post entitled "Moving Along". That is only the most recent example, but there are plenty. Close your eyes, hit Page Down a few times and you'll come across one.

Or read his About Me section on the left of the page.

I'm sure people have some fairly strong opinions on my blog, but I've never chronicled my seemingly tireless activities. Therefore, I win.

My Ode To Aaron Hayward

A young man named Aaron Hayward passed away on December 7. I didn't know him, and even though I probably saw him a couple of times at Blockbuster, I'm not going to pretend I knew him. I feel very sorry for his family and close friends, but I don't intend to rearrange my life due to his passing.

What this post is about, however, is the people who have this urge to milk the sympathies of others by jumping on a person's death. I read a lot of blogs of people who "knew" Aaron, and it's really painful to see them basically begging to be felt sorry for. All the posts and memoriams are filled with comments about how so and so will never forget that time they did the thing at the place. And they'll never forget it. They all remember now what classes they had together, even if they never actually, you know, talked or looked at one another, or even knew one another's names.

One blog in particular nicely sums up the point of this. Not only does the quote "There's not enough time to feel sorry for oneself" pop up, but she quotes Sartre - not really the person you want to quote when talking about living a full and rich life. The entire thing drips of hypocrisy, and it just makes me feel worse for his family. Nowhere in it does it say whether he had brothers, or sisters, or a mum or a dad or what.

The same thing happened a year ago when a young man named Robbie was murdered by other three teens. Everyone had stories of how much he meant, and the wonderful life that he left far too soon. Oh yeah, he was killed during a drug deal. Other than that, great guy.

I'm sure this sounds cold and cynical, but I suppose my point here is that no one ever feels bad for the people who actually meant something to the deceased, they feel bad for themselves. Our world has become so melodramatic that even if people can't relate to the emotions of the situation, they can at least pretend to empathize.

Like I said before, I feel bad for Aaron's family and friends (close friends, that is), but I refuse to feel sorry for the people who sat next to him in art class. Or those who played soccer with him eight years ago. Or served him at Blockbuster. Oh, the pain.

The First Annual (Assuming I Get Around To It Next Year) Mike Statement Radio Awards

It started out as a simple annoyance, then turned to a hobby, then a topic of conversation, then back to an annoyance and it's pretty much bounced around that level since October.

Carley and I both drive an hour to school, and, as such, we are now well versed in the many annoyances of radio. Probably me more than her, because she actually has the common sense to put on a CD when there's nothing on the radio. I, alas, do not.

Anyhoo, this goes far beyond the radio's problem with commercials (I've figured it out, 24 minutes per hour, compared to 16 on TV, and you bitch about commercials in the middle of your show, eh?).

It goes far beyond the fact that those 24 minutes are packed into eight-minute chunks played every twenty minutes.

It even goes far beyond the fact that the DJs are raving lunatics, who fill the time in between commercials talking about the songs they plan on playing if they would ever shut up (case in point, Josie Dye on the Edge this morning, "That song is like a classic rock 'n' roll song, even though it's only a few months old!")

So, to combat the sheer craptitude that the radio is turning into, I have come up with (drumroll please):

The First Annual (Assuming I Get Around To It Next Year) Mike Statement Radio Awards

Now, my categories will of course be fairly biased, because, even though I do complain about it to no end, I listen to the Edge primarily. With that caveat, I give you my preliminary categories, which, hopefully (yeah right) I will get some suggestions for nominees from the plethora (plethora means not many, right?) who read my blog. Here goes:

Whiniest Song
Most Overplayed Song
Most Overplayed Band (not necessarily the same as MOS, but I'm sure it'll be close)
Most Overplayed Band That Hasn't Done Anything Recently
Most Underplayed Song
Most Underplayed Band
Worst Cover Song That The Radio Refuses To Admit Can't Hold A Candle To The Original
Worst Radio Personality
Worst Commercials
Sports Show Hosted By Myself And The Urban Zombie That You'd Like To See Back On The Air

That's all I've got for now. I had more this morning, but listening to the radio has completely sapped my cognitive abilities. So, any suggestions of different categories, or nominations for the current ones can be e-mailed to me.

And, if you don't, I'll simply nominate everyone myself, and do the awards show in my room and become a huge mega-star à la Ben Mulroney (come on, how the hell do you think Canadian Idol started?) and then I'll buy all the radio stations and run them all myself. Mwahahahahaha! But then...what will I listen to on the way to school?

*spoink*

Ow...I just got a brain hernia. Damn it.

Not much has changed

I'm glad to see not much has changed since my first run at post-secondary education (or, for that matter, from high school).

At the moment, we're having elections here at good ol' Georgian. So far as I can tell, the only post that's up for election is VP of Activities. Based on the signs around the school, it's between two people (who's names I don't remember, so they probably want to rethink their marketing strategies).

Now, the "not much has changed" part comes in here:

Both candidates have two types posters. Both say their names. Both have the position they're running for. Both have pictures of them holding their mouths open reeeeeally wide in a sort of scream-yawn (scrawn? yeam?). This was the same at Humber, and, for what I remember, the same at OD. There's no note of issues, who they are, what year they're in, what program they're in, but they apparently have the jaws of a rattlesnake.

Damn you Georgian College

Okay, I've found something that Humber has on Georgian - they actually promote the things that they're doing in the school!

A few weeks ago, Gwynne Dyer was at Georgian doing a presentation (primarily, I would assume, on the war in Iraq). I was very interested in this, but could I find information about it anywhere? Oh no. The only place I saw the announcement was on the billboard that you can only really read as you drive past Georgian on the 400. Which doesn't really help me, as I generally tend to drive to Georgian on the 400, and really have no reason to go any farther north.

But today, I thought I was saved! There was a poster tacked to an announcement board (which, other than the poster, was plastered with student election posters - more on that later) saying that he would be at Georgian again! Hurray!

Then I read closer. "Orillia campus". Crap. Well...maybe, if I don't have anything to do on the day of, I can go there if I want.

Again, I read closer. "Friday, December 3, at 10 a.m. " I read this on Friday, December 3, at 1 p.m. Good promotion guys.

At Humber, we knew people were coming weeks in advance, and had to sign up to even get the chance to buy tickets. At Georgian, apparently you find out a few hours before the event.

Marketing and the Art of Writing Crap

There is a certain art to writing crap in a very short time and managing to pull off a good mark. Some people have it, some people don't. I'm not saying it's a good thing - after all, how will people learn to study hard and get things done in plenty of time? How, I ask?

The truth is, we don't learn, we still leave it until the last minute, and still somehow manage to pull off passing marks.

Some people, however, are not blessed with the so-called "Procrastination Gene". These are the people who get 0.5 out of 55 on their assignments. 0.5 out of 55. Imagine that. That is less than 1%. That is basically writing your name on a scrap of paper, losing it under your couch, dropping a piece of pepperoni on it during Saturday's party, and then handing it in a week late to the wrong teacher (really, you just wanted to get it out of the house).