Yeow

Showering when you've got a wicked bad sunburn is not a good idea.

In less than a week, I will be in Ottawa for Canada Day with Carley. We've been together for two Canada Day's thus far, but this should be by far the best. Why?

Canada Day, 2004 - Carley had to work. I went to the fireworks, where I attempted to take pictures. 3-for-24.

Canada Day, 2003 - Fireworks were very good, although someone did get hit about halfway through, but the pre-firework entertainment was not exactly Grammy worthy. "Have you ever been so angry?/Have you ever been so furious?"

So, Canada Day 2005 should be excellent. Not furious by any stretch of the imagination.

To the basketball fans, part 2

I'll admit, unless you're a real fan, baseball is bloody boring. So's football. Hockey can be pretty damn boring, too. But nothing beats basketball for sheer coma-inducing boredom when you're listening to it on the radio. Even when the Spurs won and everyone was celebrating, the commentators managed to suck any sort of insight and excitement out of it.

Again - and this one's actually verbatum, not just me trying to be clever - here is an interview with Manu after the Spurs won, conducted by Dr. Jack (I don't actually know what his last name is, everyone just calls him "Dr. Jack").

Dr. Jack: Manu, your mom just came over and gave you a hug, and you said to me, 'That's my mom'. Then your dad came over and gave you a hug, and you said to me, 'That's my dad'.

Holy crap. It was a seven game series for Christ's sake, you had nearly two weeks to come up with something to say, and you lead with that?

To the basketball fans, part 1

Larry Brown is so leaving Detroit for Cleveland next year. If anybody watched any of the post-game interviews in this year's NBA Finals, here is, verbatum, a Larry Brown interview:

Interviewer: So, Larry, how important is it to shut down Manu Ginobili?
Larry: Uh...yeah...Manu...pretty important...he's good.
Interviewer: How big a part of your team is Ben Wallace?
Larry: Uh...yeah...Ben...pretty big...he's good.
Interviewer: How true are the rumours that you'll be headed to Cleveland?
Larry: Absolutely false, not a word of it is true. I'm happy right here in Detroit, nowhere could make me happier. GO PISTONS!
Interviewer: How will you combat Bruce Bowen's defence?
Larry: Uh...yeah...Bruce...he's good.

Could he be any less interested?

Weather can't tell time!

I'll admit something right now - if there happened to be a tornado right now, knocking at my bedroom door, firing various basement roughage at me from out of its infernal vortex, I'd probably close the door and maybe run a SpyBot scan on my computer (I do it when I'm bored for some reason).

Ever since May 31st - the 20-year anniversary of the big ass tornado that ripped through Southern Ontario - there have been tornado warnings pretty much every other day. Granted, there have been rather a large number of thunderstorms recently, but there really hasn't been a real reason to fear that we should be hit by another "killer" tornado. No, instead, the resounding theory behind the armageddon of tornadoes to come is that we haven't had one in a while. Plus, the anniversary of the last big one just passed, so really, the time is now.

OK, I'm no scientician, but maybe it's our historical lack of huge tornadoes that's resulting in our recent lack of huge tornadoes. That, and Mother Nature's lack of sensitivity when it comes to important anniversaries. She's spent a lot of nights sleeping on the couch. And that'll put a real crick in your tornado nerve.

My two-and-a-half hours as a potential juror

Today I got to experience the joys of civil service! A month ago, I got a summons to appear in a jury panel, to which I thought, "Oh, now I die happy. That's the last thing on my life's to do list. Right after 'Put salt in the water softener.'"

But anyway, I wasn't completely sure what to expect. My dad was in a jury panel in Brampton, and it took them five days to decide that he would not be selected as a potential juror. I had only booked off today, so I was really hoping that the whole thing wouldn't stretch to long. In fact, we spent more time on breaks than actually in the courtroom.

Everything started at about 9:45, when we were told what would happen and how long the trial should go for. Then we were sent for a 45 minute break while the judge had to figure out how many juries they would actually need (they knew they needed at least three, but there were three other trials being worked on that might require juries.

After we got back from break, the jury was selected (six jurors plus two alternates), including two people who were challenged. We then went on a half-hour lunch break, while the judge tried to find out if a criminal case that just came up would need a jury. We got back from that break, only to find out that there wouldn't be more than one jury required, but two of the jurors had informed the judge that they would be unable to serve. So, now we had to find two more jurors:

First selection - Challenged
Second selection - Accepted
Third selection - Excused
Fourth selection - Excused
Fifth selection - Challenged
Sixth selection - Excused
Seventh selection - Excused
Eighth selection - Excused
Ninth selection - Accepted

When the final juror was finally accepted, the place erupted. I was just waiting for the standing ovation.

So that was my two-plus hours of jury service. I got my fair share of walking in during the breaks, and got to see an interesting cross-section of Orangeville - 100 (give or take) people, half men, half women, all but one white (the one non-white person was an Asian guy that I knew from Blockbuster who was challenged in the first selection), many wearing trucker caps.

Karmic Realignment

Today, on slightly under one day's notice and inside of four hours, I tracked down four microphones and a podium, covered the 10,000 square foot gym floor in mats, set up 64 tables and 384 chairs, and set up a sound system for a a group of about 200 nuns. Nuns!! Trust me, in the next life, Curtis, Ashley, Will, and I had sure as hell come back as something good!