Death

Now, I realize it is 2:10 AM, and I'm not a licensed doctor, but I think I'm qualified to announce that I'm dying. Seriously. Since about 9:30 p.m. tonight, I've been dying.

My symptoms:

• The inside of my face itches
• I have a cough that pretty much just started from me eating a little cookie
• A small section of the rainforest has been dedicated solely to my Kleenex needs

So, as you can see, I'm dying. I thought I had it beat for a while - if I stand up, I'm fine. I soon discovered, though, that, for some reason, as soon as I bend any part of my body, I start dying again. Apparently, I am the exact perfect height for excellent health. Assuming I don't want to do anything or go anywhere.

All I ask from you during this difficult transition is to not donate money to the rainforest. I need those trees!