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The Quest For The Lost Secret Board
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From: ravenwarrior
| Posted: 6/19/2005 12:33:28 AM | Message Detail
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You go to work... at midnight?
For some reason, I am confused; where is Church? I need Church to tell me that to think! Church can handle this... He can handle ANYTHING!
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Now that the new $20 is in, please send all of your worthless old $20's to me.
Machine Gun specialist of the SOMUNIST AC team ~ Moonside |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 6/20/2005 5:19:11 PM | Message Detail
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Where's warutrid?
*waits for next installment*
*installs*
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Doc! |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 6/20/2005 5:20:54 PM | Message Detail
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[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster] |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 6/20/2005 5:21:17 PM | Message Detail
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Wow the twists and turns continue. Great job Xim!
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DOCWEY! |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 6/21/2005 2:26:57 AM | Message Detail
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Excellent job as always, Xim. Make sure I get more lines next time.
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BUGWEY pays off in the future. BUGWEY pays off now. |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 6/21/2005 11:08:24 PM | Message Detail
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rav - Naw, the Narrator doesn't go to work at midnight. I don't think that guy even has a job, the lazy bum.
BUGWEY - war was sucked into that teleportation orb and ended up with Groovi and the others, remember? Geez, that was only like.. 2 months.. ago..
BUGWEY - Thanks! See, that was all I wanted. A little false sincerity and forcibly rendered hero worship never hurt anybody.
BUGWEY - No problem. Consider it a parting gift.
---
...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. BUGWEY
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...12/6/2004 - 6/22/2005 |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 6/22/2005 10:07:58 AM | Message Detail
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Where's Mr Agent guy?
*slips you 37 cents*
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BUGWEY! |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 6/22/2005 10:40:59 AM | Message Detail
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*glares at the above post suspiciously*
He must be around here somewhere.
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Groovi! |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 6/22/2005 11:36:29 AM | Message Detail
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He's probably in the lake again. That incline is pretty steep for the poor guy.
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BUGWEY! |
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From: Elite Gamer
| Posted: 6/22/2005 1:46:40 PM | Message Detail
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"I'm afraid this will have to be the last update.
My apologies, I know I said I wouldn't do this, but there's just not enough time in my schedule to keep this up. It's been fun, but now it's time to enjoy the final installment of Quest For The Lost Secret Board. I hope you had as much fun reading it as much as I did writing it.
..Ohoho! AGAIN! I got you AGAIN! You thought this was going to be the last update, didn't you?"
Damn you Xim! I expected to be disappointed and you failed to deliver!
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I suffer from chronic apathy, I was going to go see a Doctor about it, but I didn't really care. |
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From: tyronewiggins
| Posted: 6/23/2005 11:58:37 AM | Message Detail
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[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster] |
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From: Darkmoleman5
| Posted: 6/24/2005 12:01:57 PM | Message Detail
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will XIM ever return.
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Out of the shadows arises another generation of mole.Mole Empire/MOnty Mole-C64 |
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From: whatmustido
| Posted: 6/24/2005 6:39:37 PM | Message Detail
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Dude, it's been two days.
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Officially board hunting- Some say we are vagabonds, some say we are wanderers, some say we waste our time, but we are secret board hunters. |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 6/24/2005 7:08:31 PM | Message Detail
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Yeah, when will that Xim jerk return? I need to get his wallet.
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BUGWEY? |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 6/27/2005 7:16:49 AM | Message Detail
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Damn you Xim! I expected to be disappointed and you failed to deliver!
Yeah, sorry to jerk you guys around like that. See, I know this is a pretty serious story and all, but, it's just that, most people that write these kind of stories get to joke around once in awhile. But not me. I'm a horribly depraved monster that gets his jollies by abusing your trust in me.
Think I'll update again later today. Not really sure what about. That's why the Tower Of Doom story arc is so cool. Anything could happen. Lets me be as spontaneous as possible. Not that I've ever really thought ahead anyway mind you.
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: WingZero208
| Posted: 6/27/2005 7:23:07 AM | Message Detail
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wow i found a Xim topic, oh nice story by the way
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*blank for the time being* |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 6/27/2005 10:50:54 AM | Message Detail
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Tetsaiga!
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 6/27/2005 5:15:41 PM | Message Detail
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Give me a dollar. Or a roll.
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BUGWEY? |
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From: WingZero208
| Posted: 6/27/2005 6:51:32 PM | Message Detail
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yup its me, its been a long time hasnt it, old buddy?
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*blank for the time being* |
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From: nintendonut888
| Posted: 6/28/2005 12:54:46 AM | Message Detail
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I want to be on the secret board hunter list!
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I'm sick of hearing life is unfair, I AM! |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 6/28/2005 1:24:37 PM | Message Detail
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*points to aurora quest, and a donut*
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BUGWEY? |
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From: Second Name
| Posted: 6/29/2005 6:33:08 PM | Message Detail
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This is one of the most hilarious things I've ever read on GameFAQs. Keep up the good work, Xim!
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Second Name is the equivalent of a Hydrogen bomb explosion condensed into HTML text.
-Charrbins Apprentice -{Member of OG}- |
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From: mario man4
| Posted: 6/30/2005 2:23:13 PM | Message Detail
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Hmm...now where have I heard that before...
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|\/|ÁRÎÕ |\/|@Ñ 4 |
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From: Second Name
| Posted: 7/1/2005 12:22:29 AM | Message Detail
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Hey, I was lazy >_>.
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Second Name is the equivalent of a Hydrogen bomb explosion condensed into HTML text.
-Charrbins Apprentice -{Member of OG}- |
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From: slobr
| Posted: 7/1/2005 1:14:23 AM | Message Detail
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At least it's true. I swear, this is the most hilarious thing I've ever read here at GameFAQs. Keep up the good work, Xim!
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õ¿Ô - All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited cat turds.
¯¯¯ - §£øß® |
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From: LCC
| Posted: 7/1/2005 12:46:38 PM | Message Detail
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What would you know about truths? Do you know about my smuggling operation of truths?
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|."."|¯¯.|¯¯
|__.|__.|__ Don't believe everything you smell. |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 7/2/2005 1:19:40 PM | Message Detail
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I just never believe anything I smell.
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DUGWEY! |
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From: Second Name
| Posted: 7/2/2005 4:04:23 PM | Message Detail
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You should, its an interesting hobby.
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Second Name is the equivalent of a Hydrogen bomb explosion condensed into HTML text.
-Charrbins Apprentice -{Member of OG}- GAMESHARKPRO |
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From: nintendonut888
| Posted: 7/4/2005 1:55:00 PM | Message Detail
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No evil villain should ever wear shorts.
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I'm sick of hearing life is unfair, I AM! |
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From: mario man4
| Posted: 7/5/2005 1:30:18 AM | Message Detail
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Not even jean shorts?!?!?!
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|\/|ÁRÎÕ |\/|@Ñ 4 |
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From: Second Name
| Posted: 7/6/2005 1:30:33 AM | Message Detail
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GASP!
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Second Name is the equivalent of a Hydrogen bomb explosion condensed into HTML text.
-Charrbins Apprentice -{Member of OG}- GAMESHARKPRO |
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From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 7/6/2005 11:23:50 PM | Message Detail
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Don't try to breathe while I'm choking you. hazardous to your health, ya know.
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BUGWEY? |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/12/2005 10:31:04 PM | Message Detail
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From: Xim | Posted: 6/27/2005 8:16:49 AM | Message Detail
Think I'll update again later today.
And if you first read that today, it would be completely accurate! It's already typed, just need to post it now..
---
...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/12/2005 10:31:40 PM | Message Detail
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Since Xim is sick of writing about what Proc and mario and that other guy have been up to, we now join the forgotten hunters, better known as [a list of their names].
warutrid: Ah, it's good to be with people that appreciate me and my witty banter.
Icarus Ascending: Yes, those last twenty eight knock-knock jokes were simply "genius", but could you please just--
warutrid: Knock knock!
slobr: *sigh*
Groovilious: *groans*
Who's there?
warutrid: What?
slobr: What who?
warutrid: What are you talking about? I was knocking on the door!
slobr: Hilarious.
warutrid: No, look. There's a door right here. I wanted to see if there was anyone inside.
Groovilicious: war, we've been walking down this hallway for like twenty minutes. We've been past hundreds of doors!
slobr: Yeah, that's what started your whole "warutrid comedy hour", remember?
warutrid: It's just a pilot episode! I'm saving the big guns for when the network approves.
Groovilicious: A half-hour of knock-knock jokes. I doubt even Fox would stoop that low.
warutrid: You obviously don't remember "Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire?". If something that high quality can make it, my show will become just as popular!
Icarus Ascending: I don't doubt that statement in the slightest. Anyway, what makes you think this door is any different than the others?
warutrid: As an expert knock-knock joke comedian, my fifteen minutes of experience with said material has provided me with vast recesses of knowledge concerning all things doors.
*strikes a pose*
Note, how this door contains a mahogany green pigment, whereas the others all retain a blueish-red quality.
Groovilicious: "Mahogany green"?
warutrid: Also! Upon further investigation, I have discovered that this door knob is made of not one, not two, but one karat gold!
slobr: Such quality!
warutrid: Notice the fine cubic zirconia hinges, the plush, leather door mat, the--
Icarus Ascending: Alright already, Vanna White! What are you trying to do, sell us the door?
Groovilicious: So it's fancy. A lot of these doors look different from each other.
warutrid: Ah, but I have yet to even discuss the implications of the--
slobr: Hey, what's this?
*taps a nameplate on the door*
Groovilicious: It says "Get in here, you morons. - LCC".
warutrid: Yeah, I suppose there's that, too.
Icarus Ascending: Dammit, warutrid! Why didn't you say anything earlier?!
warutrid: Oh, shut up! You've been annoying me since we let you join us! Thinking you're so much better than everyone else!
Icarus Ascending: Whatever.
warutrid: No! I won't leave it at that! What makes you think you're any better than me, huh?
Icarus Ascending: Well, let's see.. you complain too much, you're an idiot, you're annoying, you act like a child, and you smell.
warutrid: HEY!!
Icarus Ascending: What?
warutrid: ....
*sniffs his armpit*
..Nothin'.
slobr: Are you two finished yet? Or should we start betting our lunch money on who's going to get in the most wussy shoves before the teachers break it up and send you to time out?
warutrid: *mutters*
I'll see you on the playground, Icarus. |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/12/2005 10:33:53 PM | Message Detail
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Groovilicious: Are we going to go through the door or not? I think LCC's getting impatient.
*points at the nameplate that now reads "I'm getting impatient"*
Icarus Ascending: Alright, let's go.
*opens the door*
*the hunters find themselves in a huge room, with what seems to be a gigantic hill made of earth and stone reaching up to the ceiling, many, many floors above*
warutrid: WHOA! Where are we?! It looks like we're outside!
*the walls are complete with detailed paintings of lush, forest landscape, and a very accurate rendering of a summer night sky, complete with hundreds of radiating stars*
Groovilcious: This is amazing! Even the feeling in the air reminds me of a beautiful summer night!
Icarus Ascending: What, hot and humid? The only thing this place reminds me of is how nice it felt when we weren't here.
*walks over to a tree and taps it with his hand*
But I have to admit, it all does seem realistic. This tree is definitely fake, but you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at it.
slobr: You sure? The ground feels like it's made of soil.
Groovilicious: Whatever it is, this place is truly a wonder. Hey, is that a lake?
LCC: Yes, Master Svengarlic was always a perfectionist when it came to this kind of thing.
hunters: !
slobr: LCC! What is this place?
LCC: Ah, the room you are in is indeed indoors. Everything you see before you is synthetic, rather, born of magic.
Groovilicious: Magic? You mean you can create landscapes with magic?
LCC: Magic has no limits, Groovilicious. You could create a puddle or part an ocean. It does not matter how big or small the task, magic will get the job done. The applications are boundless.
slobr: Sounds a little far-fetched.
LCC: Well.. yeah. There are few in the world that have an affinity to magic. Even Master Svengarlic probably couldn't part an ocean, and he is without a doubt among the greatest sorcerers alive. That is the theory, however. Magic has no limits, save the user's own boundaries. It is truly a miraculous gift.
Icarus Ascending: I'm sorry. Were you waiting for me to give a damn? Just hurry up and tell us what we're supposed to do here.
LCC: Oh, yeah. Of course. To progress further, you must ascend the mountain you see before you.
slobr: We have to climb that thing?! Couldn't we just walk around it or something? Ooh, better yet, how about you come down here? That one would be easier for us. By which I mean me.
LCC: Don't forget, you challenged me. Would you rather hike all the way back down to the bottom floor and leave after coming this far.
slobr: Er. Which one would take more effort?
Icarus Ascending: That reminds me. How much longer till we get to the top? This tower can't be that big.
LCC: Well, if you manage to survive the mountain, you'll be nearly to the top floor.
Groovilicious: "Survive" the mountain? What are you hiding?
LCC: Allow me to explain. No, you cannot just climb it on foot. You must reach the top by playing a little game.
Icarus Ascending: *raises eyebrows*
Game, you say?
slobr: *raises eyebrows*
No climbing, you say?
LCC: Not technically. To reach the top, you must play a game I like to call King Of The Mountain--
warutrid: Oh, I love that game!
LCC: You've heard of it?
warutrid: Yeah, I used to play it all the time back at Xim's board!
LCC: Is that so?
warutrid: *rubs his hands together deviously*
What say we raise the stakes a little? |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/12/2005 10:35:38 PM | Message Detail
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LCC: Raise the stakes?
warutrid: Yeah, if we lose, we'll become your slaves forever, and if we win--
*gets clonked on the head by three angry hunters*
Groovilicious: What do you think you're doing?!
warutrid: Hey, trust me. I know this game like the back of my head.
*the others exchange a nervous glance*
warutrid: See, the trick is to..
*looks around and motions to the others to huddle; they comply*
Psswswswswsswsw.. ok? Got it?
Groovilicious: ....
slobr: What was that supposed to mean?
Icarus Ascending: Speak English, man!
warutrid: Oh, that's right. Sorry.
Icarus Ascending: So what do we need to do?
warutrid: Three words: Leave everything to me.
slobr: *counts on his fingers*
Groovilicious: war, that's four words.
warutrid: Oh yeah? Prove it.
Icarus Ascending: Leave everything to you? But that's--
slobr: Brilliant!
Groovilicious & Icarus Ascending: What.
slobr: It's worked for us in the past, hasn't it?
Groovilicious: Well actually--
warutrid: So that's two in favor of the plan. Majority rules, we win.
Icarus Ascending: You were never very good at math, were you?
LCC: So what's this about you becoming my slaves?
slobr: Forget it! We'll just play the normal way.
LCC: Um, okay. Everyone ready?
warutrid: Sure! I call 7!
*begins to run towards the mountain*
LCC: What do you mean "I call 7"?
warutrid: *screeches to a halt*
That's how you play the game, right? You run up the mountain and yell out a number. If it matches the last number of your post time, you become King of the mountain and win, right?
LCC: What? No! Of course not. You have to attempt to throw this magic ring into the fire at the top.
*conjures up a ring at the hunters' feet*
Groovilicious: *picks up the ring*
Whoa.. it's heavier than it looks.. this is a magical ring?
LCC: Yes. To become King of the Mountain you have to cast it into the fire you see at the peak of the mountain.
warutrid: Hm.. this is a bit different than the version I usually play.
LCC: Oh? How so?
warutrid: Well, probably the fact it's not similar in the slightest.
Icarus Ascending: Good thing you called off the bet, slobr.
warutrid: What's the deal? The version I play didn't have any "magical ring" in it!
LCC: But of course. This isn't just King Of The Mountain. This is King Of The Mountain.. Of Doom!
Groovilicious: *sighs*
So how does "Doom" have anything to do with this game?
LCC: I'm glad you asked. As you try to make it up the Mountain, you will be attacked by hordes of what I like to call "orcs".
Icarus Ascending: Orcs, eh?
LCC: Yes. ..Why? Is something wrong?
warutrid: So.... basically the whole point is to throw the magical ring into the fire atop Mount Doom while fending off orcs, right?
LCC: Yes, that is correct. |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/12/2005 10:36:17 PM | Message Detail
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Groovilicious: Um.. isn't that sort of.. er..
LCC: What? What are you getting at?
slobr: Oh, come on! It's a complete ripoff of Star Wars!
LCC: Star Wars?
Groovilicious: Actually, I thought it was more of a--
slobr: Don't you remember? Luke Skywalker discovered he had to destroy the magical Ring Of Power after being bitten by a mutant spider and gaining super powers!
Groovilicious: Could it be possible that you've watched so many movies and television shows that you've muddled them all together?
slobr: That's ridiculous. As Scooby Doo always said: "I pity the foo' that is after me lucky charms!".
Icarus Ascending: Bingo.
slobr: Bingo? The host of Fear Factor? What's he have to do with this? Well, at any rate, you can't use this setup, LCC. It too closely resembles Star Wars.
LCC: Well, actually, if you look at the Fair Use Rule of the United States Copyright Act of 1976, it clearly states--
warutrid: Hey, speaking of Star Wars, I wonder how Xim and the others are doing.
Groovilicious, slobr, and Icarus Ascending: NO!!
warutrid: What?
slobr: Our first chance to be in the story in like 3 updates and you want to ruin it with a cutscene!
Icarus Ascending: Well, technically that would make us the cutscene, wouldn't it?
Groovilicious: What I want to know is, why does one year of story-writing equal about two days of hunting?
warutrid: And what's the deal with airline food? Am I right, folks?
slobr: I know! And the guy next to me -- he loves it! I'm looking for a dog to slip it to, this guy's asking for thirds!
LCC: And here I thought you four were the normal group.
warutrid: You consider the other groups more normal?
LCC: I retract my previous statement.
So, you guys ready or what?
Groovilicious: I don't really understand it myself, but the main objective is to cast this ring into the fire, right?
LCC: Yes. There are many winding paths up the mountain. You should follow the paths, as the rest of the mountainside is most likely too steep. But, your choice. You may use whatever means necessary to reach the top. Oh, and I should probably mention that orcs are generally twelve feet tall and about ten times stronger than the average human, their favorite snack.
warutrid: *gulps*
And, uh, just how many orcs live on this mountain?
LCC: Who knows? Well over twenty, I'd say. They're also quite intelligent, despite how they appear. I would suggest not trying to outsmart them.
warutrid: No problems there.
LCC: Well? Care to think it over?
slobr: Um, yeah. Give us a few minutes, okay?
LCC: Sure.
*the hunters sit in a circle to discuss their plans, just the way they learned from their kindergarten educations*
warutrid: Oh man. What are we gonna do? I don't suppose we could make some wings and FLY up there?
Icarus Ascending: Trust me. It's NOT a good idea.
Groovilicious: Any ideas, slobr?
slobr: Yes, actually. This'll be a snap. We have all we need, right here in this group.
Icarus Ascending: What do you mean?
slobr: Think about it. What are each of us good at?
warutrid: Running from pirates?
slobr: Well, yeah. But I was thinking more along the lines of abilities.
warutrid: Hey, running like a coward happens to be an art. You can't just--
Icarus Ascending: This could take awhile.. |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/12/2005 10:36:48 PM | Message Detail
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*after several whiles, the hunters stand up and face the Mountain Of Doom®*
slobr: Everyone know what to do? We have to work together on this.
Icarus Ascending: I know my job.
Groovilicious: Me too.
warutrid: I liked the part where you thought I agreed to this.
slobr: Come on, war! Your part is crucial! You're the backbone to the whole plan!
warutrid: Why do these things always happen to me?
Groovilicious: Then we all agree. Okay, LCC! We're ready to start now!
LCC: About freakin' time! Alright then. King Of The Mountain Of Doom.. BEGIN!
*immediately the hunters run up the main path of the mountain, when they reach the first fork in the road, slobr and warutrid split ways*
LCC: (Hmph. As if splitting up will give them the advantage.)
*Icarus Ascending runs off the main path and into an area covered in trees*
LCC: (The fool. He'll be dead within minutes.)
*a few minutes into the game, warutrid reaches a ledge that becomes an encircling, but extremely narrow path leading to the top of the mountain*
*in the underbrush below, he notices a group of orcs*
warutrid: Oh man, why is it always me? Okay, war. You can do this.
*pressing his back against the mountain, warutrid uses his cat-like balance and grace to shimmy up the narrow path*
*by which I mean he fell off*
warutrid: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Orc: *looks up*
Mmm, squishy.
*warutrids lands at the gigantic feet of the orcs*
warutrid: Owww~
Orc: We eat it?
Orc 2: I call dibs on head!
Orc 3: But that best part! You always so greedy, Krug!
Orc 4: I say, calm down lads! We shant get anywhere if we are to quarrel!
Orc 2: Shut face, Pierre!
Orc 4: Do not take that tone with me, Krugston! What would your parents think, hm?
Orc 3: Hey! You know Krug lost father last year! You hurt his feelings!
Orc 2: *sniff*
Orc: Pierre! You stupid!
*shoves Pierre*
Orc 4: What's this then? You dare strike me?! Do you want to fisticuffs?!
warutrid: Erm.
*begins to crawl away*
*another group of orcs approaches*
Orc 5: What go on here?
Orc 3: We find human.
Orc 6: Human? We eat it?
Orc: Yes. We eat.. huh?
Orc 7: He get away!
Orc 4: We must pursue the rapscallion if we are to catch him!
Orc 2: No! Forget rapskallyon! We have to chase puny human!
Orc 7: Krug right!
*on the other side of the mountain, warutrid's girlish shrieks of terror can be easily heard*
Icarus Ascending: At least he's good for something.. oh, what's this?
*Icarus finds himself in the midst of a couple of orcs*
Icarus Ascending: Well, well. They're uglier than I thought.
Orc A: Who you?!
Orc B: Look like dinner!
Icarus Ascending: Afraid not, handsome.
*unsheathes his crimson blade*
Orc A: What that knife? What you do, peel potatoes?
Orc B: Haw haw haw! That good one, Klev! Little man can no--
Orc A: Kerrek? What wrong?
Orc B: Uuuuhhhhhhggg..
*falls to the ground* |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/12/2005 10:37:22 PM | Message Detail
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Icarus Ascending: Geez. Now I've got Orc's blood all over my hands.
Orc A: *takes a step back*
What? What you do?!
Icarus Ascending: You didn't see? Here, let me show you again!
*the orc's bellows of pain can be heard all over the mountainside, even reaching the ears of slobr, who is currently perched atop a tree, well hidden among its many branches*
slobr: Heh. Looks like Icarus has started. Won't be long now.
*meanwhile*
warutrid: Pleaseohpleaseohpleasedon'tkillme!
Orc 3: *continues shaking warutrid*
I no get it. Ring should be here somewhere.
Orc 6: You do it wrong! You have to hold human by ankles and shake!
warutrid: Ring? You mean you're not gonna eat me?
Orc 4: Eat you? My word! Heavens, no! We merely say that to distract you. Our goal is to find that ring and prevent you from winning the game. Now where is it?
warutrid: *smirks*
Heh. I don't have it.
Orc 5: What you say !!
*suddenly an intercom hidden at the base of a nearby tree blares to life with a warm greeting by LCC*
LCC: You morons!
Orc: He not have Ring, boss!
LCC: Of course not! You think the ringbearer would just walk along the main path like that? Icarus Ascending has it! Quickly, go to the other side of the mountain, near the chief's hut! I've already sent the others there!
Orc 3: We go!
*tosses aside warutrid*
*meanwhile*
Icarus Ascending: Man, where the hell am I? This mountain isn't that big..
*suddenly a large group of orcs come crashing through the trees*
Orc: There he is!
Orc 2: Get him!
*in moments Icarus Ascending finds himself surround by nearly 30 large orcs*
Icarus Ascending: This could be tough.. not. SLOBR. NOW!!!
slobr: Showtime!
*Icarus plunges his sword into the ground and uses the hilt as a base to propel himself skyward, over the heads of the orcs, where he grabs a tree limb and clings to it*
*slobr jumps off a tree limb of the same tree and positions himself over the group of orcs*
slobr: *pulls out his mod gun*
Sucks to be you!
*slobr fires a devestating blast at the center of the orcs, creating a huge shockwave that engulfs all of them and shakes the mountain to its core*
*the blast sends slobr back into the air, and he lands next to Icarus Ascending on a tree branch*
Icarus Ascending: Wow..
*the ground buzzes with electricity as the smoke clears and the charred remains of the orcs is revealed*
Icarus Ascending: Damn, that gun is powerful. What was that?
slobr: I set it to IP Ban, so it created an area effect. Since they're all from the same source -- LCC -- it took 'em all out. That's why I had you lure them here. Problem is, that shot wasted all the juice. I won't be able to use it for awhile.
Icarus Ascending: Unreal.. wait, "IP Ban"? You're telling me that gun is--
slobr: Well, it looks like we've seen the last of them.
Icarus Ascending: ..Yeah, for sure.
(Those guns are outlawed..)
Well, looks like your plan worked, slobr.
slobr: Not yet. We're not there yet.
LCC: That's quite an understatement.
slobr and Icarus Ascending: !
*turn to face an intercom*
LCC: That was most impressive indeed. I'm not sure what happened, but I did hear you say you can't do it again. You're "out of juice", correct?
slobr: ..Yeah. But you're out of orcs, LCC.
*smiles victoriously*
LCC: Not quite.
Icarus Ascending: What are you saying?
LCC: Didn't we JUST have a discussion about magic a few minutes ago? All I need do is conjure up some more orcs, and you're toast.
slobr: Uh oh! |
|
From: Xim
| Posted: 7/12/2005 10:37:56 PM | Message Detail
|
LCC: That's right. Though I must compliment you. Using warutrid as bait so Icarus could attempt to scale the mountain with the ring unnoticed was indeed clever. Too bad it's over. I win.
slobr: Not yet. In fact..
*looks up*
I'd say we'll have won in a few seconds.
LCC: What?! You're bluffing!
Icarus Ascending: Really? Check out the summit.
*points*
LCC: What?! NO!!
*at the top of the mountain, Groovilicious has reached the fire*
Groovilicious: Guess this is it.
*tosses the ring in*
*a foghorn blares somewhere in the distance, signifying the hunters have won the game*
LCC: How did you-- You can't-- I was outsmarted by--
slobr: Heh. It's easy really. Like I said earlier, we have all we needed in our group.
LCC: Explain. Please. I. You. What.
slobr: Hehe. See, warutrid is a damn good distraction, as history has proven. So we made it out to be him the one that was carrying the ring to the top. He pretended to fall and get caught by the orcs. Naturally, you would have figured out whoever had the ring wouldn't have used the main path, so you called the bluff.
LCC: Yes I did! I sent them after Icarus!
slobr: Yeah, and that's exactly where you screwed up. See, we knew most of the orcs would be guarding the fire on the summit, and we also knew you would send ALL of them after the one you thought had the ring, being the confident guy you are. So in reality, Icarus was bait just like war. Even I was a distraction that would give Groovi the time she needed to reach the top of the mountain. Once all the orcs had gathered I would then take them out with my gun, distracting your attention from the summit. So you see, we all were needed. war to be the decoy distraction, Icarus and me to be the main distraction, and Groovi to be the unnoticed ringbearer.
LCC: ....Well. That's.. not bad.
Icarus Ascending: Genius, more like.
LCC: ....Yeah.... wow. I'm.. stunned. You're in a league of your own, slobr.
slobr: Hey, it wasn't just me. A lot of it Groovi thought of, such as the secondary distraction.
LCC: Still, even if it was a group effort, you outsmarted me. You're worthy to fight.
Icarus Ascending: Heh. Just us? What about Xim and the others? How are they doing?
LCC: Oh.. they're on Floor 1 right now.
slobr: I wish I could be surprised by that.
LCC: Hm.. though they technically haven't failed, and they've passed more trials than all of you, too. Maybe I misjudged you hunters. If it were Xim's group, they probably would have just rushed to the summit, smashing everything in their way like idiots.
Icarus Ascending: (Hmmm.. he's probably right. But I have a feeling they would have succeeded anyway. Xim Vicious.. he's not to be underestimated..)
*glances at slobr*
(Him too..)
LCC: ....Well! Ready for the next challenge?
slobr: Bring it.
Many, many animals were harmed in the making of this story. In fact, most of them died quite painfully.
But I have good news. I just saved a bunch of money by switching to shoplifting.
---
...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
|
From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 7/12/2005 10:45:53 PM | Message Detail
|
slobr: Hilarious.
---
BUGWEY? |
|
From: LCC
| Posted: 7/13/2005 9:57:33 AM | Message Detail
|
slobr: That's ridiculous. As Scooby Doo always said: "I pity the foo' that is after me lucky charms!".
---
|."."|¯¯.|¯¯
|__.|__.|__ Don't believe everything you smell. |
|
From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 7/13/2005 2:09:07 PM | Message Detail
|
Orc: Hilarious.
---
DOCWEY! |
|
From: BUGWEY
| Posted: 7/13/2005 2:11:27 PM | Message Detail
|
Since Xim is sick of writing about what Proc and mario and that other guy have been up to, we now join the forgotten hunters, better known as [a list of their names].
Hehehehehehehe... That must have been that disease I gave you for your birthday!
---
DOCWEY! |
|
From: warutrid
| Posted: 7/24/2005 7:42:58 AM | Message Detail
|
I almost died again, but at least I was in it!
---
\/\//-\** Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things. **|Z|_|
¯|¯|Z** Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. **][ |) |
|
From: ravenwarrior
| Posted: 7/24/2005 11:49:13 AM | Message Detail
|
You guys... need... M,S,N...
Everyone needs, To GET IT!!!!!!!!!!1
---
BUGWEY? |
|
From: warutrid
| Posted: 7/26/2005 7:17:20 AM | Message Detail
|
Give me one good reason. Followed by four bad ones, a strange one, another good one, and then one that makes me re-evaluate the world.
---
\/\//-\** Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things. **|Z|_|
¯|¯|Z** Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. **][ |) |
|
From: Second Name
| Posted: 7/26/2005 7:26:29 AM | Message Detail
|
Just a little bit picky, eh?
---
I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man.
TheMuzikMan is the master of pwn. |
|
From: Lord Kestrel
| Posted: 8/7/2005 4:41:28 PM | Message Detail
|
Hi all! Good to see you're all still alive!
I just thought I'd drop in and thicken the plot by saying
Dark Tower: The Legend Continues: http://kingkestrel.proboards57.com/index.cgi Coming this Fall, only on Fox™
Yeah.. so I kinda made it today.. But I'm hoping to incorporate it with my planned website.
BTW Xim, I just saw my old profile on your website. I got a HUGE laugh out of seeing "Kestrel... BANNED"
Later fellas.
---
Dark Tower: The Last Free Board on GameFAQs
http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/gentopic.php?board=29893 |
|
From: Mastah_E
| Posted: 8/10/2005 11:21:05 AM | Message Detail
|
Um... bump
---
Microsoft said: You've got problems, we've got dancing paper clips. / wat the hell is Tos?-Zeldaknowitall |
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