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Tales Of Monsterpath
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The Quest For The Lost Secret Board
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From: Xim
| Posted: 6/19/2004 2:29:45 AM | Message Detail
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GameFAQs. A website that has developed into a veritable world. A world that is checkered with its own little nations. The boards dedicated to video games are like towns, less popular games are villages. The huge social boards are known as cities. Every board contains its own residents that have become a part of a miniature society. Whether it be the bustling social boards, or the calmer game boards, every board has distinct traits that set it apart from others, just as every town is not the same as the next. Amidst the thriving communities of everyday GameFAQs life, there are certain boards that are not commonly seen by the public. In the seamy underbelly of GameFAQs, there are boards that are less formal. Where nearly anything goes. To those that heed their call, they are known as secret boards.
In the beginning, there was only one secret board. But more and more people started to discover these retreats from the chaos of the regular boards, and eventually, tales of this underworld spread, and the secret boards became infamous. This is around the time the first secret board hunters appeared. These "secret board hunters" lived the life of the Nomad. They traversed the thousands of dead boards, looking for signs of civilization. When found, some would stay and become permanent members, others would move on, continuing their hunt. Always searching, always hunting. This is the life of a secret board hunter.
It was not long before the concept of the Backwards Journey was invented. This is a pilgrimage commonly performed by the secret board hunters. It was a quest to hunt through every system in reverse alphabetical order, looking for secret boards. When completed, a secret board hunter would be declared fully-fledged, and become highly respected by other hunters. That's not to say those that do not finish the journey are not full-fledged. In fact, throughout the years of the secret boards' existence, some of the most famous hunters have never even attempted the Backwards Journey.
However, despite its main goal, the purpose of the Journey just described is a mere ruse. A falsity. The true goal of the Backwards Journey is not to hunt through every system on GameFAQs with secret boards. That is merely the secondary objective, a facade to hide the truth. In actuality, the purpose of the Journey was to find a certain Secret Board. In the dawn of this underworld's existence, there was a board that was said to have contained a Treasure that would be awarded to whoever should find it. The Secret Board inspired many enthusiastic young hunters to take up the search. What was the Treasure, and was it ever found? The answer to the latter is, no. This board was never found, and the Treasure still resides there. As for the Treasure itself, it was supposedly some kind of knowledge, rumored to even contain the meaning of life. Also, there was a lotta money $_$.
Even some of the most widely known board hunters of old came away empty-handed. Scum, NinjaMaster, Medea, none ever found it. Over the years, the true meaning of the Backwards Journey dwindled away. Fact became rumor. Rumor became myth. Myth became legend. And eventually, this "Lost Secret Board" is even said to have never really existed. The Backwards Journey's Primary goal is now to find interesting secret boards, and there are even those calling themselves hunters that don't even do this. The deeds of secret board hunters that once thrived in the dawning of the secret boards are all but forgotten, like a memory that slowly fades away into the deepest corners of the mind. And today, there are few that even know of the Legend. I, Xim Vicious, am one of those few. I swear by the honor of my predecessors, I will find the Lost Secret Board and claim the Treasure.
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 6/19/2004 2:32:02 AM | Message Detail
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dwimmerlaik: Who are you talking to, Xim?
Xim: Oh, it's just a soliloquy.
This is..
¤ The Story of the Secret Boards ¤
Note: This story was most certainly not inspired by Infinite Rebirth, and you sure can't find the first part of his story here:
https://www.angelfire.com/super2/gamefats/secretboardstory.html
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: DocProc
| Posted: 6/19/2004 7:34:27 AM | Message Detail
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*pulls up a chair and some CAEK* |
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From: ravenwarrior
| Posted: 6/19/2004 5:54:39 PM | Message Detail
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How in the hell did you get the chair on the roof?
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Now that the new $20 is in, please send all of your worthless old $20's to me.
Machine Gun specialist of the SOMUNIST AC team ~ Moonside |
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From: dark cloud
| Posted: 6/20/2004 11:39:30 AM | Message Detail
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Methinks I'll be the sane guy who you all think is crazy, much like Joe in the Arfenhouse series.. v_v
MAD COW DISEASE!
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<34> - XLord Ma ChaoX, Solid Rambo.
Too much hope is the opposite of despair, an overpowering love may consume you in the end. |
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From: dwimmerlaik
| Posted: 6/20/2004 9:50:53 PM | Message Detail
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The best part was when I did stuff.
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Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. |
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From: warutrid
| Posted: 6/23/2004 6:04:36 PM | Message Detail
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It's so obvious that I'm gonna be the one to find the Lost Secret Board.
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\/\/*3* Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things. *5*/-\
|Z*3* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. *20*|_| |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 6/24/2004 4:15:08 AM | Message Detail
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June 24, 2004. 9:43 AM. In a secluded, quiet little board known as Pub Games, Xim stands behind the bar, serving drinks and sipping mayonnaise.
*bell above door rings*
*dwimmerlaik enters*
Xim: Hey, dwimmy. What can I get you?
dwimmerlaik: No time, for that now, Xim.
*sits down and orders a drink*
dwimmerlaik: So.. heard what's been going on?
Xim: You expect me to hear things with peanut butter in my ears?
dwimmerlaik: Oh, yeah. Well, I overheard some mysterious, shadowy figures talking. I didn't get a good look at their faces, because we're not supposed to know who they are yet. Anyway, they're looking for something so they can find something else.
Xim: What's that?
dwimmerlaik: I think they said it was a Map. Whatever that is.
Xim: You mean like this?
*takes out Map*
dwimmerlaik: Hey, where'd you get that?
Drunk: Plot device, my dear platypus.
Xim: Quiet, you.
*turns to dwimmerlaik *
I've had this old map for years. It was supposedly made by the first board hunter. It shows the route of the Backwards Journey..
Drunk: Backwards what?
dwimmerlaik: Let's not get into that again.
Xim: Well, there's not much else to say. It marks specific boards, but I just assume those were factions or something. Why would anyone be looking for this? Lots of people know about the Backwards Journey already. Except for that guy.
Drunk: I love you, man.
dwimmerlaik: Get away from me. Well, I never said they were looking for that map, I just heard them mention a map. Oh, and they also said it held the key to finding the Lost Secret Board, another little-known term that doesn't need to be explained again.
Drunk: ...
Xim: Wait! What did you say?! The Lost Secret Board?!
dwimmerlaik: Yeah. What's the big deal?
Xim: I've been looking for that Board for years, ever since I became a hunter! And all this time I've had the key to finding it!
Drunk: Makes you feel kinda dumb, doesn't it?
dwimmerlaik: How do we know it's the right Map?
Xim: Didn't you hear my rantings and ravings in the last installment? It must be connected to the Backwards Journey, and there's no older map depicting it. Whoever made this must have been searching for it! It only makes sense!
dwimmerlaik: I guess so, but what about it?
Xim: I'm going to find it this time. I know it. Wanna come with?
dwimmerlaik: Nah, I think I'll just hang around here awhile.
*Xim and dwimmerlaik leave on their journey, followed by a stumbling drunk*
*the moment they're out the door, several drunkards jump over the counter and help themselves to some free booze*
Oh my. Quite the development. But what of these shadowy figures that were talking about the map? Who could know about the Secret Board? Who will manage the Pub in Xim's absence? Why does dwimmerlaik always end up doing the opposite of what he says he'll do? Will this story even go anywhere? Will the alcoholics survive their massive hangovers? Just how tasty was that mayonnaise? Does anyone really care? Find out next time. Same bat time, same bat channel.
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: ravenwarrior
| Posted: 6/24/2004 8:01:27 AM | Message Detail
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That was almost the exact same as the preview.
But I don't care. I've realized how hard it is to make a story. Speaking of which...
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Now that the new $20 is in, please send all of your worthless old $20's to me.
Machine Gun specialist of the SOMUNIST AC team ~ Moonside |
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From: Smudge
| Posted: 6/24/2004 2:50:34 PM | Message Detail
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It's all a facade. |
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From: warutrid
| Posted: 6/26/2004 5:22:10 PM | Message Detail
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Who will manage the Pub in Xim's absence?
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\/\/*3* Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things. *5*/-\
|Z*3* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. *20*|_| |
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From: slobr
| Posted: 7/4/2004 9:08:42 AM | Message Detail
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We'll probably never know.
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õ¿Ô - All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited cat turds.
¯¯¯ - §£øß® |
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From: Smudge
| Posted: 7/12/2004 7:09:25 AM | Message Detail
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I already know. >_>
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*Black Mist*
It's like a party in here, and no one is invited! - Nuclear hobo |
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From: Elite Gamer
| Posted: 7/19/2004 2:54:22 PM | Message Detail
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[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster] |
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From: Elite Gamer
| Posted: 7/19/2004 2:54:32 PM | Message Detail
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That Xirn guy probably....
I still think Does anyone really care? is the most important question though.....
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There are thousands of different ways to die, but millions of ways to live |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/19/2004 4:57:11 PM | Message Detail
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Suddenly, one month later..
dwimmerlaik: Man, that walk from the pub to the road keeps getting longer and longer.
Xim: Yeah, well if you hadn't stopped to order that hot dog, we would've cut at least three weeks from our journey!
*knocks hot dog out of dwimmerlaik's hand and steps on it*
Drunk: That hot dog was my only friend.. ó_ò
dwimmerlaik: Hey, what are we doing out here again?
Xim: Oh, no you don't! We're far too early on in the story to have a recap!
Drunk: Hey, quit picking at that fourth wall!
dwimmerlaik: Yeah, the self-awareness routine is getting old.
Xim: Fine, fine. So, what does the Map say we should do first, Drunk?
Drunk: Hmm.. there's no real starting point. Well, it is the Backwards Journey, right? Let's just do what we always do, start at WonderSwan Color.
dwimmerlaik: Hey, why does he get to have the Map?
Xim: Because he obviously is more competent than you, Mr. Ilovehotdogssomuchthatiwillspendthreeandonehalfweeksorderingone!
dwimmerlaik: Hey! Don't you pry into my sex life!
Xim: Come to think of it, you haven't done anything commendable throughout our entire walking through the parking lot! In fact, just out of spite, I'm promoting the Drunk. You're now our group's official ravenwarrior!
ravenwarrior: Sounds integral! What are the perks?
Xim: Well, you're a raven, and you're a warrior. Ravens tend to have feathers, and warriors fight.. so I guess you're our meatshield if we run into trouble.
ravenwarrior: Bad logic aside, that doesn't sound much better than Drunk..
Xim: Yeah, but the pay is lower, so it's worth it.
ravenwarrior: What?! You never paid me to begin with.
Xim: Exactly, now you have to pay to work for me.
ravenwarrior: What?! I quit!
Xim: You can't quit, it's not in your job description.
dwimmerlaik: Hey, as much as I always enjoy listening to Xim's contrived company policies, shouldn't we be trying to move the plot along?
Xim: What do you mean? We've already arrived at WonderSwan Color's entrance!
ravenwarrior: Ah, the old "talking and walking" routine.
Xim: Yeah.. that's it. Well, this is it! Lost Secret Board, here we come! The time is now! I shall finally fulfil my true destiny as a board hunter! I'll be.. hey, wait! Where are you going?!
*Xim hurries to catch up to dwimmy and rav*
*as the three young hunters venture off into the land of the WonderSwan Color boards, a dark figure lurks in the shadows.. watching.. waiting..*
Most Likely Silhouetted Figure: Heh heh heh.. that's right. Lead me to the Lost Secret Board, fools. Once you've found it, that treasure will be mine!
..I really must stop talking to myself..
And there you have it. The journey begins! What strange perils await our heroes? By which I mean the protagonists. Because technically, they're not heroes, see. It's an important distinction to make. Fine, don't care. But at least I know who that shadowy figure is and you won't find out for a long time!
*Does the I Know And You Don't breakdance*
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/19/2004 5:33:52 PM | Message Detail
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Hey, you know what? I just realized that in my second post, I called this story "¤ The Story of the Secret Boards ¤". I meant "¤ The Quest For The Lost Secret Board ¤". I guess I got so caught up in ripping off Infinite Rebirth's idea, I stole the name of his story too. Oh, well.
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: Elite Gamer
| Posted: 7/19/2004 5:51:58 PM | Message Detail
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Seeing as he died I don't think he'll mind, unless his story was just one gigantic lie of course.
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There are thousands of different ways to die, but millions of ways to live |
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From: warutrid
| Posted: 7/19/2004 10:35:23 PM | Message Detail
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IR can't die.
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\/\/*3* Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things. *5*/-\
|Z*3* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. *20*|_| |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/19/2004 10:53:25 PM | Message Detail
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Yeah, didn't you read his story?
Hey, wait a minute! I thought this topic was supposed to be about me! I want attention! Gimme!
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: warutrid
| Posted: 7/20/2004 12:15:25 AM | Message Detail
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Have I already found the Lost Secret Board at this point?
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\/\/*3* Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things. *5*/-\
|Z*3* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. *20*|_| |
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From: ravenwarrior
| Posted: 7/20/2004 10:28:06 AM | Message Detail
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I'm in the story!
*does the, "I'm in the story" dance*
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Now that the new $20 is in, please send all of your worthless old $20's to me.
Machine Gun specialist of the SOMUNIST AC team ~ Moonside |
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From: DocProc
| Posted: 7/20/2004 2:02:45 PM | Message Detail
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*starts a dance war with ravenwarrior*
Take that!
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Doctor by day, board hunter by night... |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/20/2004 2:26:31 PM | Message Detail
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war- With me as your rival, I wouldn't expect much trouble in finding it. As your rival, that is. That might change soon. (Hint at future character)
rav- Nice dance, yet oddly familiar.
note to all- Another installment later tonight or tomorrow.
Elite Gamer- Give me a dollar.
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/20/2004 2:27:03 PM | Message Detail
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DocProc- Didn't notice your post.
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: Elite Gamer
| Posted: 7/20/2004 3:07:32 PM | Message Detail
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Well I'm not a firm believe in charity so how about you give me something in return, like two dollars.
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I suffer from chronic apathy, I was going to go see a Doctor about it, but I didn't really care. |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/20/2004 3:39:08 PM | Message Detail
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Throw in an extra three dollars and you've got yourself a deal.
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: Elite Gamer
| Posted: 7/20/2004 3:44:03 PM | Message Detail
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Done.
Heh,... sucker...
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I suffer from chronic apathy, I was going to go see a Doctor about it, but I didn't really care. |
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From: ravenwarrior
| Posted: 7/21/2004 11:51:12 AM | Message Detail
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Buy one get one free if you promised to pay for a third at twice the price!
*toothy grin*
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Now that the new $20 is in, please send all of your worthless old $20's to me.
Machine Gun specialist of the SOMUNIST AC team ~ Moonside |
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From: Elite Gamer
| Posted: 7/21/2004 2:01:23 PM | Message Detail
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What do you take me for? A fool?
You and your molar assisted scams better beat it, sharpish.
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I suffer from chronic apathy, I was going to go see a Doctor about it, but I didn't really care. |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/21/2004 7:31:03 PM | Message Detail
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When we last left our.. protagonists.. they had just arrived at WonderSwan Color. Some other stuff happened before that, but apples if you think I'm going to talk about all of it. Go read the last installment. You could easily find out first-hand, if you want.
Xim: Emphasis on your if clause.
Quiet, you.
Xim: Say, rav, how much further till the first Board of Destiny?
ravenwarrior: First what?
Xim: You know, the marked boards on the Map. I figured they needed a name.
dwimmerlaik: That's horrible. We should name them the dwimmerlaik-is-better-than-Xim Boards.
Xim: Or, how about the.. Ximhitsdwimmerlaikwithachristmasham!
*does just that*
ravenwarrior: Do we really have to name the boards? From what dwim's heard, there are other people out there looking for the Map and the Secret Board, so we should probably focus more on finding it.
Xim: Speaking of which, maybe we should name the Map.
dwimmerlaik: *rubs sore forehead*
I vote Mappy.
Xim: Good idea, dwimmy! Too bad this isn't a democracy, or your vote might have actually amounted to something!
ravenwarrior: Hey, heads up. There's some people in the clearing up ahead.
Generic Guard # 1: Halt! You have entered Yakusoku no Chi: Riviera. None are allowed to pass!
Xim: And you thought Boards of Destiny was a bad name. I mean, really, "Yakusoku no Chi: Riviera"? Why, in the time it took me to say that, I could've done all kinds of things.. like paint a picture.. of a guy with a big knife.
Generic Guard # 2: Halt! State your business!
dwimmerlaik: We are here by order of his majesty!
Generic Guard # 2: Halt! His majesty, you say? Fine, you may pass.
Generic Guard # 1: What are you talking about, # 1? There hasn't been a King in these parts since the days of old!
Generic Guard # 2: What about that one big ape, King Kong, from the late show last night?
Generic Guard # 1: That was your mother.
Generic Guard # 2: Halt! That does it!
*tackles Generic Guard # 1*
*the two roll around on the ground as the group slowly walks past*
Generic Guard # 2: Halt! They're getting away!
*strangles Generic Guard # 1*
Generic Guard # 1: Halt! Somebody stop them!
*punch*
Xim: *stops*
Hey, wait a minute, those guys seemed familiar.
*goes back and unmasks the guards*
ravenwarrior: Hey, they're not guards at all! Why, it's DocProc and slobr, our fellow board hunters!</introduction>
DocProc: Yeah, and we would've gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for.. well, you know the rest.
Xim: What are you two doing out here? And why are you dressed as guards? And where's that money you owe me?
slobr: We've been looking for a Map to the Lost Secret Board. We decided this would be a great place to shake down people, since so many quests start here.
dwimmerlaik: I bet you just wanted to beat up people and take their lunch money.
DocProc: ..Nonsense.
---
...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/21/2004 7:31:10 PM | Message Detail
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ravenwarrior: Wait a minute. How do you know about the Lost Secret Board? I thought Xim said hardly anyone knew about the legend..?
slobr: Oh, we just read the first installment.
Xim: Makes sense to me. Well, we just so happen to have the Map. Wanna come with us? There's enough treasure for all! Unfortunately, that's only enough for me.
DocProc: Sure, why not? We don't even want the treasure. Truth be told, we're just kinda bored.
ravenwarrior: Well, let's get moving towards that first board.
*looks at map*
Hmm.. there are some notes by whoever wrote this.. "Board #1: After several days of travel, I came upon the first challenge. The bird was cunning, but I managed to defeat it using the Blade."
Xim: ..What the hell does that mean?
"What the hell?" indeed. This whole installment deserves a "What the hell?". I'd wager even less was accomplished than last time. Oh, well. Stay tuned for the next installment, when we might get a little more answers, and a little less half-assed story-telling by a sleep-deprived Xim with a fetish for hyphenated words.
---
...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: warutrid
| Posted: 7/22/2004 8:15:35 AM | Message Detail
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I'm in it now!
*rereads*
Oh, that's a hyphen...
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\/\/*3* Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things. *5*/-\
|Z*3* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. *20*|_| |
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From: DocProc
| Posted: 7/22/2004 2:29:26 PM | Message Detail
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I'm really enjoying this story!
*sits around Xim, having a tantrum until next installment*
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Doctor by day, board hunter by night... |
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From: slobr
| Posted: 7/22/2004 2:48:38 PM | Message Detail
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I wanted some treasure...
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õ¿Ô - All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited cat turds.
¯¯¯ - §£øß® |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/22/2004 4:25:27 PM | Message Detail
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Yeah, I know. Proc always refers to himself in the plural form. And if you're talking about what I said about the treasure, you need to learn to take me less seriously.
Even though it wasn't really a plothole, it's good to know I can always BS my way out of any future situations.
---
...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: dark cloud
| Posted: 7/23/2004 10:13:09 AM | Message Detail
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*Observes.*
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<34> Solid Rambo/XLord Ma ChaoX - Maybe I'm a Lion.
Board 19669 - Underground - |
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From: ravenwarrior
| Posted: 7/23/2004 11:22:48 AM | Message Detail
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. *-, . *-,…)¯………… … ¯¯¯¯*******¯¯… / … ……………… '*--,,_…………… *-,…………/……\…
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………………………¯¯¯¯*****~~~***¯¯'|……………………………… … *-,…………\……/……… |
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……………………………………………|……………………………………… |*……,,--*…/… ……,*…
……………………………………………|……………………………………… |_,,~**… ,-*…… … /…
………Mr. Peabody ……………………'\………………………………………|… …,,~*………… /……
………By: slobr……………………… … *,……………………………………'L,,-~*……………,-*……
………22/7/04 … ………………………… *-,………………………… … … /………… … ,,~*………
……………………………………………… …*~,,_………………………,,~**~--,,__,,,---*'*……………
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………………………………………'*~---~*' …………………………… *~, ………… *,………………
………………………………………………………………………………… *~,…………)………………
………………………………………………………………………………… … ¯*~-----~*………………
---
Now that the new $20 is in, please send all of your worthless old $20's to me.
Machine Gun specialist of the SOMUNIST AC team ~ Moonside |
|
From: warutrid
| Posted: 7/23/2004 12:09:08 PM | Message Detail
|
slobr did that?
['o_O' removed for Xim's sake]
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\/\/*3* Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things. *5*/-\
|Z*3* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. *20*|_| |
|
From: slobr
| Posted: 7/23/2004 2:28:41 PM | Message Detail
|
>_< This is no place for ASCII!
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õ¿Ô - All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited cat turds.
¯¯¯ - §£øß® |
|
From: ravenwarrior
| Posted: 7/25/2004 12:12:45 PM | Message Detail
|
I suppose you'll steve me for good ASCII?
---
Now that the new $20 is in, please send all of your worthless old $20's to me.
Machine Gun specialist of the SOMUNIST AC team ~ Moonside |
|
From: slobr
| Posted: 7/25/2004 6:47:58 PM | Message Detail
|
Actually, I was going to winston you, but now that you mention it...
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õ¿Ô - All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited cat turds.
¯¯¯ - §£øß® |
|
From: RockMFR 5
| Posted: 7/27/2004 6:34:07 PM | Message Detail
|
Hello, Mr. Peabody!
---
The Polas: He is so much better than you. o_0
Currently playing: Mega Man Battle Network 4: Blue Moon (GBA) |
|
From: Xim
| Posted: 7/30/2004 8:23:30 PM | Message Detail
|
|
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster] |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/30/2004 8:24:12 PM | Message Detail
|
Hey, listen up, punks. It's story-time. Everyone sit down in a circle and shut the hell up.
ravenwarrior: So, what do you think it means?
Xim: I'd like to direct you towards my previous query.
dwimmerlaik: I've been reading ahead on this guy's notes, and it seems they always contain some sort of clue for each board. Like since "Blade" is capitalized, maybe it has something to do with the first board? The first board is marked to be somewhere around here, so keep an eye out for any signs of a sword or the like.
ravenwarrior: He's got the Map again, Xim.
Xim: Yeah, I know. We'll trick him into trading it for a hot dog later.
slobr: So all we have to do is look out for some sort of indication of a blade. Sounds easy enough.
DocProc: Hmm.. I wonder if the name of the board has anything to do with it..
Xim: Tch, yeah right. If it were that easy, some hunter would have found the Board a long time ago.
Hey, wait a minute. Maybe the name of the board has something to do with the clue!
slobr: Genius!
dwimmerlaik: So, the first board should have the word "Blade" in it.
ravenwarrior: I'll keep an eye out. Right now, we're on Vaitz Blade. If I remember correctly, there's a board with the word "Blade" in it around here.
DocProc: Just a matter of finding it.
ravenwarror: Hey.. wait a sec..! Vaitz.. Blade?! Do you know what this means?!
Everyone: What?
ravenwarrior: The board hinted on the Map is..
*suddenly dives at dwimmerlaik and attempts to steal the Map*
*dwimmerlaik barely manages to escape, Map in hand*
Xim: That was a close one. I don't think even I could have reacted. Nice try, rav.
ravenwarrior: I'll get that Map yet.
slobr: ..Doc, I think we had a better chance of finding the Board without joining with these guys.
dwimmerlaik: You're just jealous because I get to hold the Map.
DocProc: We'll never find the Lost Secret Board at this rate..
*suddenly, without warning, the ground begins to shake violently, nearly knocking everyone off their feet*
slobr: AHHH! It's an EARTHQUAKE! And a big one! Let's get out of here!
dwimmerlaik: Sounds like the plan of a jealous person!
*the group leaps into a dark cavern beside the road, since none of them realize it's probably safer to stay in an open area, because they're dumb*
*but the rumbling and shaking just grows louder and more violent*
ravenwarrior: Whoa! It's not a quake! It's something from inside the cave! Everybody, out!
dwimmerlaik: Aha! More jealousy!
*everyone dives out of the cave, narrowly avoiding a charging, gigantic creature*
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/30/2004 8:24:38 PM | Message Detail
|
|
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster] |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/30/2004 8:25:29 PM | Message Detail
|
DocProc: Whoa! What the hell is that thing!
ravenwarrior: It's a huge.. bird! It must be what that hunter was talking about in the clue!
*dodges yet another sweep by the massive beast*
dwimmerlaik: It must be attacking us because it's jealous that I get to have the Map!
*shoves companions in front of himself*
slobr: The Blade! We need the Blade! It's the only weapon that can stop this thing!
Xim: Hey, don't look at me! All I've got is a wallopin' Ham!
*gets grazed by the charging bird*
Ow! Dammit! On to Plan B!
*Xim grabs ravenwarrior and pushes him in front of the behemoth*
Xim: You're our meat shield, right? Save us!
ravenwarrior: I demand a dental plan!
*gets ready to fight, by which I mean "*assumes the fetal position*"*
*just before everyone's ass is grass, a mysterious swordsman appears, cutting down the hulking bird with one mighty blow*
?: *stands up after the dust clears*
*turns to ravenwarrior*
You call yourself a warrior? I can't believe what I had to do just now. How disgraceful.
Xim: Hey! That must be the Blade we've been looking for!
?: Oh, this? I found it over by that altar that says "The Blade mentioned on the Map". You know, the one that's about thirty feet high and easily the most noticeable thing in the vicinity?
ravenwarrior: Oh, so that's what it was. We thought it was a hot dog stand. We're trying to avoid those as they tend to get us a little sidetracked.
Xim: Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name? We could use someone like you in our group.
?: What? You mean you don't recognize me?! It's me, ravenwarrior! You know, rav! How could you forget about me, Xim?
Everyone: !
slobr: TWO ravenwarriors?
DocProc: What is this, a soap opera?
dwimmerlaik: Hey, I get it. He must have somehow split into two people because he was so jealous!
Could dwimmerlaik be right? Could ravenwarrior have been cloned because of some side-effect of all that jealousy? A jealousy which everyone in the group has, but pretends to not have? And, if so, does that mean everyone will get cloned? Will we see two Xims running around eating mayonnaise and hitting people with glazed hams in the next update? I hope not. One Xim is already too much. Well, guess you'll just have to wait and see what's going on in the next WTF-inducing installment of <insert that long title of this story>
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: Xim
| Posted: 7/30/2004 8:34:54 PM | Message Detail
|
Well, there it is. I hope you're happy. It took me nearly five minutes to write that!
Don't mind the deleted messages. I was having a little trouble with the order of the two posts. No sir, no secret info about how the story ends hidden on them.
Yeah, so this update isn't that funny, I don't think. But I needed to somehow introduce a "new" character and I decided to add a little action. As a result, the humor factor dropped. Too bad stories can't be funny and action-packed simultaneously, despite what Kung Pow: Enter The Fist will have you believe. I learned my lesson. I should stick with the comedy. Leave the action for someone like Infinite Rebirth.
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...(¯\/¯)(¯) (¯)_(¯) ...R.I.P. Scum
...(_/\_)(_)(_/\_/\_)...4/18/2001 - 5/26/2003 |
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From: DocProc
| Posted: 7/31/2004 7:35:09 AM | Message Detail
|
Actually, I though there was a good mix with the humour and the action. The plot twist was interesting!
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Doctor by day, board hunter by night... |
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From: ravenwarrior
| Posted: 7/31/2004 11:36:44 AM | Message Detail
|
I realize why I didn't get the map: I didn't steel it.
---
Now that the new $20 is in, please send all of your worthless old $20's to me.
Machine Gun specialist of the SOMUNIST AC team ~ Moonside |
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