Hey everyone! Welcome to my poetry page. There's not much recent stuff here... I have a LOT of poems I wrote for/about my last girl friend/best friend on here though. We went out for about 6 months, but she'd helped me though on a REALLY nasty ass rough time a few years ago and she meant, and still does mean a HELL of a lot to me. Ya ok.. so knock yourselves out. Tell me what ya think too eh. Email addy's at the bottom of the page. Happy readings.

You close your eyes
And try to think deeply
You pick up your guitar
Play a familiar song
And brutalize it
So you throw your guitar down
You punch the wall
You curse the strings
You forget music for now
It hurts you too much
You call to your ladies place
No answer, never a right answer
Throw the phone like the guitar
Your parents call to out to you
Worried about all the noise
You tell them to shut up
And go to your room
To wallow in self pity
The beauty of self pity
Solitude your only friend left
She'll never desert you
Never leave you alone
Sad, but so true
No words can leave your mouth
Without amazing disgust
Infiltrating them deeply
All that once you held close
Once was who you are
Now you loath
Solitude always will be your best friend

Stains Of Love Lost
Tears cover the paper
The hand of the heart
No longer can move
For your mouth is shut
So much left unsaid
Way too much heard
Meanings misconstrued
Hearts torn apart
Like they're paper dolls
No pain expected
Less felt
The feeling of the soul
Pour out in tears
The tears burn like acid
Streaks cover your face
The stains of love lost
The scars of friendship lost
Throbbing takes over the mind
God's not forgotten
But devils almost worshiped
For the devils remove the pain
The pain in your heart
The pain your soul has
From the ten or twenty words
That were as excruciating
As paper cuts
A millimeter deep
Yet more painful
Then a thousand spears
Bullets maces or swords
That penetrate your body
As much as these few words
Penetrated your soul
For though the cause is gone
Your heart is still in your body
And you'll never remove it
What a pity

Unjustly convicted
Loves once found now are lost
Where once you held tight
You have no grip at all
The meandering days pass by
One to the next no different
People change, faces change
But hearts nor thoughts have faded
Faded away at all
Promiscuity made to failure
And promises now broken
Loves vowed are the ones lost
The fates tamper with your mind
With your heart, even your soul
Just because they can
Unjustly convicted
Sentenced to a horrific death
Christ your savior nowhere to be seen
If only your tears were as such
Instead they pour from your eyes
Like the drop of rain
From a torrential hurricane
And you are left wondering
Why, why if love is pure
Love cannot bear imperfections
If love truly is love
Then why does it hurt so much
And as you lay in bed
Contemplating your death
Your lover comes to the door
Only to reveal their true love
And confine you in misery
Your whole, entire life

Juliet lies down to sleep
Gives the knife her soul to keep
Romeo sees her from afar
And in the ground he does carve
I love you know, loved you then
Never shall these feelings ever bend
Like the lightning crashing from above
To your memory I'll hold tough
The days how long, nights so deep
Never shall my heart ever sleep
The long blonde hair bright as gold
Many a man his bliss hath sold
And nothing short of a shadow's kiss
Has ever made on more remiss
Made on feel he himself hath died
Solely because of those who lied
About content, happiness, joy
Those who played us like a toy
Once that's carved he walks to the grave
Cursing now all loves slaves
Juliet's eyes now are closed
Drops of blood still on her nose
The knife still stuck in her bosom
He now thinks how he'll be so lonesome
The countless days with love amiss
The numerous nights with out that kiss
And before he knows what takes his mind
The knife from her chest in his hands he finds
And plunges it deep into his skull
To shrew the pain, make it annul
With his last words he cries for Juliet
His words were lost like the name he forgets
For 'tis not Juliet there in the grave
'Tis his Julia, for whom he himself hath slain
And as the two caskets down the street are marched
Though the fountains under the arch
Tears are shed for the senseless crime
But this crime is the crime of the time

Scent Of the Flame
You wake up from your sleep
And feel an odd heat on you
You see the forest around you afire
Smoke gushes from the dry trees
Trees fall and block all your paths
All on fire, all impossible to avoid
You are left alone in your campground
With just your tent, and your clothes
You panic but think quickly and pack your clothes
And pack up your tent
You have very little to your name
But you are determined to keep it all
You look around for a creek you bathed in
But you see trees afire block that means of escape
You look for the first path you cleared
But even though the trees are all gone
The bushes off to the sides of it have caught
And they are an impenetrable wall of flames
Hundred year oak trees fall like maples
The pines, the pines where the sun doesn't ever shine
Fall like they're just toothpicks for God
You have no way to escape unharmed
And though you don't accept it
That harsh reality is forced upon you
So you close your eyes and run headlong
Into the fiery, flaming torch of Hell on Earth
And eventually you emerge from the fire
Hair singed, skin scorched, but tent and clothes in tack
They reek of the fire, but are still yours
The few things you had are still yours
Even though they now have the scent of the flame

Lovers ripped and torn away
Tears come forth every day
The road was the last one to hold
The one in the coffin all cold
Cold in body, but warm in heart
For his love of you shall never part
Though stick and stone and gravel kill
He has left his spirit all for good will
All the pain and anguish he felt then
Is not felt now as he is in Zen
Or Heaven, or whatever the afterlife has
Where we all will someday pass
But here you remain, a crying wreck
As a grieving widow this life you shall trek
Though the pain will some day pass
Your love stop to last
For he was your life, passion, muse
Your alpha and omega, heart's woo
He was your all in all
Not a once short did he fall
But the Lord's taken him away from us
Not our choice, but his plans are a must
As much as to our disliking it is
All the better are his sights and promises
For one day not too many years from today
We'll look back on this moment and say
It was all for the best, as His plans always are
And we'll look up to Heaven so afar
And say "Soon I'll be with you once again"
"Soon I'll be with you my best of friends"

Frustrations set in
Words confused
Meanings missed
Love her still you do
But others come to view
They all fail in compairison
Through no fault of their own
Her light still shines bright
Brighter then any other you've seen
Or are your eyes not seeing right
For all have sinned
And fallen short of her glory
But you fail to see her sins it seems
For many they have been
Not as many as your own however
You play God and judge her and others
But you have not proper insight
So you judgements aren't all accurate
You condemn the righteous
Uplift the followers of Satan
Contradict yourself every statement
Make liars seem like truth tellers
The honest men hypocrits
All because you love and unlovable
Actually, she is lovable
Just unobtainable
Short sights and materialistic problems
Are all holding you apart
But it's those things which will never fade
So you must stop judging others
Start judging yourself
And find happiness
Where no one else has

The magnificent blanket of security you once had
Has been stolen from you while you were sleeping
No longer does it keep you warm
Or protect you from the cold breezes
Or keep the penetrating rains away
Instead now you are left at nature's mercy
You see ominous clouds far over head
Rains, sleets and hails may not be far away
And that concerns you, scares you a lot
You know the cold isolation is brutal
You've had it before and hated every second of it
But now it looks like it is back for a while
You see others all around you with their blankets
And you just envy them so much
You think of yourself as being better than them
You think that you alone deserve to be happy
To be protected, kept warm, comforted
Even despite the fact so many of the blankets
Are covered with holes, and many stains
But you had to find you own self pity and misery
Keeps you blind to things like the others problems
But just as you curse that which stole your blanket
You see close friends without one as well
Many in much poorer condition then you could fathom
Some never having blankets in their life times
Some having their blankets nearly suffocate them
And you look at yourself on the water of the lake
And you vow never to be without a blanket
Anywhere close to as long as the others
For though a blanket isn't a need to survive
It's the most important thing to happiness
And you will never be this sad again

Julia's Heart
You say you love me
Yet a dollar takes presidence
Even though the dollar should
It still seems cruel
You say you tell no lies
Yet how do I know the truth
Because you never show me
What you really feel
Sayings are said a million times
Kisses exchanged like looks of the eyes
More intimates things cherished
Yet lost in the sparkle and fade
Loves and lusts confused
Materialism seems attractive
Because materialism is something seen
Where as my heart never is
For all I say all I do
Is forgotten by you today
But remembered tomorrow
But too often tomorrow is too late
For other things come into our lives
And though memories never change
The values of them do
For times makes silver tarnish
And some thoughts fade away
But the dream of happiness together doesn't
It remains vivid through time
Just like the scars in the heart
The many, many scars in your heart
Innumerable, and unmistakable
Unhidable, unforeseeable, and undeniable
And now you must go on
Finding other lovers
Finding ways to carry on
But you can't and won't forget her
The ways she made you feel so great
And the ways she crashed your world
Let's just hope someone can repair it
The ravages of Julia's heart

Public Display
The slow pulses of your heart slowly disappear
Charities assumed where only desperation exists
Desperation for the joys of the heart
Desperation for all that is right in the world
Desperation for all that is held sacred in the heart
Desperation to know the love isn't in vain
Each ever slowing pulse emitts a small cry
As it passes by the ventricles for the last time
Because it knows it'll never see them again
Before the cold hand of death takes hold
All those once warm arteries and capilaries
That flowed with an amazing love
Collapse as that love has been stolen from them
And your limbs slowly turn blue
Your mind is a wreck in every way imaginable
Your most amazing memories of passionate love
Appearing to have meant nothing more
Then the most insecently momentuous flings
You have lost all sense and sensablility
You cherish none of which you did years before
All that once was intimate and secure to yourself
Now is on public display for approval
Approval by those of Satan, of those of God
And most importantly, approval of yourself
Ah the beauties of the need of self approval
Never perfect, never horrid
Always a malcontent existance with uncertain purpose

No Other Man's
You see them all there
Holding hand, kissing lips
And you think to yourself
"I've been there"
God you've been there
But that was then
And this is now
Now is the time you live
Your regrets for mistakes
You promises left unfulfilled
And your heart
Your ever so empty heart
Do not matter now
Because they belong to her
And she is no longer yours
No other man's
Nor woman's thank God
But just not yours any longer
But still you see the others
Together for years
Or just months or weeks
Yet you envy their bodies
For they have
What you only can dream of
Someone to kiss them good night
Someone to hold them close
When the troubles of life are too much
When all that's good has gone bad
And when they dreams are crushed
And their hearts shattered
Yet here you stand
Alone, deeply in solitude
For though all say
You are a one in a million catch
Only three have caste out for you
And though all threw you back
You still hold the dreams
The ideas and images of the one
The one who's heart had to listen
Not to itself, but to its future

White Smoke
Weeks go by with out a word
But fear has no grip on you
For even though you haven't forgotten
You've been too distracted
Your friends keep you focused
On your life, on your muses
You find intimate contact with others
Forgetting what real contact is
When it's with the one you love
When it's to show your love
Not just to hide yourself
Not just to help heal your heart
Not to just help you forget
All the pain that's in your heart
From the lack of true love
And contact, and knowledge
For all that was know as gospel
Now has clouds of white smoke
Keeping you guessing as to what
Is and was really there
For no word is sometimes better
Than a word that reminds you
Of how much you did love
Of how much you did really care
And how much you really still miss her
For she made you strong when weak
She alone could heal your mortal wounds
She was God's gift to you
Or so it seemed before the smoke came
And now you're left wondering
Just how God really does
Heal the broken hearted
And console the contrite spirit

First Blow
Days slip by like the tears from your cheeks
The pains still as violent as the first blow
But is now looked down on by many
As a sign of weakness and patheticness
For time has pass, time heals all wounds
They say she's forgotten
They say you should forget her as well
But you can't forget all of what
Once was your every breath
You're hers and only hers
Yet not hers at all
And she's yours and only yours
And at the same time has been ripped from you
By senseless materialistic uncertain idiocy
All for the sake of thinking better
So you stand at the dawn of another new day
That fateful restless night ages ago
And you look at yourself, who you are
You see the same face, same hand, same tongue
And you think to yourself
It's been too many nights with
Too so suddenly be without
And despite your hands face and tongue are the same
Your heart isn't and never will be
For she is yours in heart but someone else's in hand
And it's her face that's against another's
And it's now her heart, that has two men's affection

Innocent Ignorance
Where once warm hands held tight
Now cooler hearts stand alone
Time has passed like sands through the hourglass
But the feelings of the heart hold fast
Trials and tribulatiosn for us both
Some of the most challenging times of our lives
But we'd always be ok at night
When we'd return home to each other
Hold hands, and ever so softly kiss
Softly, yet deeply, and passionately
All our cares and worries would vanish
As if they never existed to begin with
We had a special, innocent pure love
Despite the fact we knew we didn't have long
Our future's destined to be different
Our ambitions always the same
Quantity was never a matter to us
For the quality was always more then amazing
And when the time to realize this happened
Amazingly deep and seemingly never ending pain came
Our worlds were flipped and we were tossed with chaos
But despite all the pain, there was no anger
As time passed the pain slowed
Duller and duller it was with each passing month
But it was still there like a constant headache
But now a year approaches and we face a challenge
Whether to celebrate our times together
Or whether to mourn the losses we assumed
Or whether we should just pretend like nothing happened
Our loves nor lives the same as before
So the fish is left to wander the stream in his westward direction
Only to hope to not be pulled down by the easterner

The day to give thanks comes and goes
You give thanks for your heart
You give thanks for your life
And you give thanks for the love of your heart
Despite no longer do you hold it
You remember how she made you feel
How complete and bright she made your life
And how she made you feel invincible
The day has passed without many adieus
The days to commemorate a love of life
The days to commemorate a life of love
And the days to remember all of our blessings
A year has passed since these last occurrences
Some you beg God never to remind you of
Others you pray for every day to be repeated
Like the day when you fell in love for the first time
That day when the world you live in
No longer remained in black, whites and grays
But became filled with the colors of the rainbow
The colors of love, the colors of life
And your contrite spirit once again had breath
For God did hear you and consoled the broken heart
But it was only to let Satan break your brain
Spill blood and muscles and heart and lungs all over
Cover the pavement with all your good sense
Rape the innocence of your mind
Fragmentize all your memories and make you doubt
All that you once held sacred, holy and just
So this thanksgiving you're left here now
With a healed body and a healed mind
But a broken heart, which may never mend

Music swirls in your head and makes you shiver
Sheer ecstacy fills your ears and hands
But as the piece comes to an end
For some odd reason the feeling doesn't change
The source which was once your music
Has changed to simply your surroundings now
Or so it seems to have for now you are left in silence
And the rest of the lonely is like a broken heart
A single solitary player of a single solitary instrument
For now you are confused as you look to your right
And you see a new set of blue eyes looking at you
There is no love, no lust, no admiration nor exhilaration
But at the same time there is no hard heart behind them
For that heart listens to the music of your voice
Not the mistakes of your hands nor your lack of charm
Impressions irrevocably riveted in place eons ago
But deeper more purging ideas planted by your music
The music of your heart, the music of your soul
For the mind knows not what the heart sees
And the mind never could comprehend what the ear hears
The pale icy cold metallic blue irises never shall lie
Just like the chords in our music never lie
If only the iris would last longer then the chords
And if only the iris was as harmless as the chords

New Start
The time to weep has not passed
The days and night not gone fast
But now you see a new one near
And it's that which you fear
The feelings aren't quite the same
But it's your heart that does claim
That times gone by aren't to stay
It is this time this very day
That hurt shall no longer rest
Where love and kindness fit the best
For in those eyes you did see
What it was that would set you free
Free from the pain and misery of your past
Free from the love that did not last
Free from the strings tied to your heart
That were there right from the start
And free from the green stars in her eyes
For it was those stars that made you cry
And now you look into another's blue iris
And it's her cheek you now kiss
Your heart still isn't all what it once was
But know you've past that feeling so remiss
Neither love nor pain now has hold of you
But a happy confusion of what is true
You know not what your heart really feels
But you recognize the absence of what was real
And now when you kiss a hand your heart doesn't ache
And when you get a hug your heart doesn't break
For now in your eyes you see not a heart
Now in her eyes you see a fresh new start

From the deepest trenches of the lake
A small bright light emerges
A tempest of blue and white all at once
Just in the one tiny photon there
Your tiny vessel of life is rocking slowly
On the harsh waves of the turbulent sea
Queasiness in your stomach takes hold
Not from the light, more in from the lack of light
In enough quantums to keep you satisfied
That light no matter how small is magnificent
Always has been, always will be
Even if it does come in different quantities
Because regardless of where the light comes from
It's always from some sort of precious hidden jewel
But it's the lights from blue diamonds
That are the light which you always shall search
Because the light like the rock itself
Can and will withstand all the world's heats
Pressures, blows, colds and sharp cuts
Its that light which will never be hidden once discovered
But to uncover all its amazing deep beauty
You must risk your life by plunging into the sea
The cold, deep, tretcherous, mischievious and dark sea
To find the rock from which it emminates
And uncover it to bring to the surface to keep as yours
Where you can polish it and keep it close at heart
So when the waves of the sea make you sick again
You can look at the jewel and find purity
And then find inner strength and peace in yourself
Only to look at the jewel again
And wonder how you survived so long with out it

Hey guys! Check this one out! It's the 150th one I've written... about 125th since this time last year. It's a special one to me so I hope ya take it to heart. As always, enjoy =- )

Dreams fill your head both night and day
Some more meaningful then others
But none the less, magnificent they are
A total evasion of reality into your own realm
Where you and you alone find happiness
Where others may find misery and pain
And where you yourself once found the same
But now times have transgressed
Times are demurred, and times regressed
All for the sake of finding purity
But you keep holding that dream
That ever so superficial yet deep dream
The dream where you find a purpose in life
The dream where your children are successes
Where your wife looks into your eyes on her death bed
And neither of you can appologize for anything
For you lived your lives best possible
One eye stuck in the other's blue iris
With the other looking deep into the future
Where hand and hand you stumbled and fell
Where hand in hand you succeeded joyously
Where hand in hand you failed miserably together
Only to find another way to make things work
And you would hear magnificent works performed
Not an ear could resist the tambour or shrill voices
That the undying confessions of your love
In an undying musical for would express
That dream is the one you lived for only to die for
Or so it would seem when you fell short of it
But how your hopes and aspirations turn to another
You can see a spark in the new blue iris
The only question is, is the iris willing
To help you know your dream

A year has passed, all's fresh and anew
Your heart though hasn't been renewed
You live your life from day to day
Go to bed each night after you pray
For a love to return to your life like once before
When Jewel's songs didn't seem like folklore
When a hearts desire and a tongue's simple wish
Were both met instantly with a single kiss
To look deep into those blue eyes
Was to uncover a look of surmise
But now again you can see a set of irises
And once again your heart tumbles like in a gyres
The heart speaks but the tongue doesn't hear
And the hands don't pull her near
For fear of rejection for lack of beauty or wit
Have been replaced by fears of being split
For lack of reason or rational
For lack of in-site for what's personal
The only difference that can be seen
Is you aren't exactly the same as you used to be
Your arms are still empty as the moon goes down
Your feet planted at home instead of on the town
Where you would find ways to forget the past
And enjoy the moments of love while they last
The deep blue of the irises that care the most
Are the ones you want to have your eyes host
And the soft speech of the sweet voice she has
Is what you want your ears to hear unabashed
Someday once again you'll love like you did before
Lets just hope that the time it lasts is ten-score

Tiger Walk
What once was white now is a dull gray
The girl that was perfect is now a purer shade
For though never innocent now is hurt
But a bastard who found curiosity in her shirt
No love, lust, just pure unadulterated evil
This coward went to a pedophile's level
Of maturity, sense, right, and good
And found himself perverted like no man should
Her breasts, beautiful breasts took to himself
Her pride and rights put on the shelf
Sense of righteousness and dignity stolen by him
But tears of the heart held within
Left alone to fend for herself
Left to look into that deep dark gulf
Maybe some day this even she'll forget
The pain and humiliation and how they all met
All I can do is be here for her
And hope that I myself don't hurt her

back home
next page of poetry
first page about Veronika
second page about Veronika
third page about Veronika
fourth page about Veronika
fifth page about Veronika
sixth page about Veronika
seventh page about Veronika
eighth and final page about Veronika
earlier poems

Email: ozzie_smith@mailexcite.com