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Cherry Trees
The ever few minutes pass so slowly
Our hands intertwined and hearts the same
Hours upon hours drift away like minutes though
We look back at the time spent
And we don't see what happened quite right
We remember all, yet have nothing
Regional prosperities vanquish in loving clouds
We've formulated idealistic uncertainties
Yet we tend to find ourselves fulfilling them
Despite all of our original despair and doubt
Climaxing one minute, followed by default the next
Unburdened urges once, terrified mistakes the next
Despite all of them though, you forgive me
For though anger entrenches you
The angelic sovereign being you are has ultimate control
You befriend the disconsolate and make them cheery
You befoul the egotistical arrogants
You make all right in the world of senselessness
Then you come back home to me at night
You take my hand yet again as the nights before
And you say a little prayer, unspoken, yet not unheard
Initially ungranted, but never unfulfilled in the end
Those deeply embedded hopes and desires of yours
They flourish in times like these
And like the blossoms on the cherry tres we gaze at
I see you in all your inner and outer beauty
And I repeat a prayer I had said many times before
To have one to hold my heart
Even though it had long since been fulfilled
And I kiss you softly and fall asleep in your arms

Kingston's Beach
The full moon set, sun starts to rise
Slowly the frightful night dissipates
We are still quivering from being ever so cold
Our bodies soaking wet from the torrents of rain
Hair in tangles from the accompanying winds
The lake before us is still and calm
A dramatic contrast to what was there hours before
The robins start to sing, doves start to fly
The harmony and intimate ways of nature astound us
I hold your hand tighter and think back to earlier
I remember how joyously we came to rest here
How we had no fears of this sandy beach
How we cuddled up lovingly together
Then I remember falling asleep ever so contently in your arms
Sweet dreams of our marriage and love filled my unconscious
Then slowly were replaced by horrific nightmares
Delusions of death and martyrs, revival of the wicked
And I remember waking up crying at the same time you did
We dismissed these as fallacies as pure stupidity
Meanwhile the storm ventured forth unnoticed
The pure chaos and insurrection poured on us
The sky was darker then a raven's wing
The waves larger then those of a tsunami's
Ravenous winds blew mounds of sand into our eyes
Lightning bolts lit the sky like the sun itself
But only for precious few moments at a time
The cascade of unrelenting evil totally encompassed us
Eventually I got myself over you to try to protect you
The winds continued amongst the rains for hours on end
But even as the worst of the tempest enthralled us mercilessly
I just kept holing your hand and uttered words of encouragement
For by putting you at ease and resting your troubled soul
I was making my own inner spirit rejoice and keep me warm
For though death could have captured us at any moment
My life's purpose was being carried on at that moment
And it was as I was keeping you calm and relaxed
That I myself fell asleep though the storm still blew
So it now that I finally let go of your hand
And it's now that I realize that no matter how selfless I seem
I only do good for you, because it's God's will for me

Tonic Chording
The overtones leave you powerless
What once brought joy
Now brings agonizing practice
But not defeat, not yet at least
Tonic chording is nuisance
But is not unconquerable
The promenades now disgraces
Alterations intended to help
Have less then no avail
Needs now just wishes
Desires less practical than dreams
Friends now enemies
Loved ones now hated
Hated with the most passionate disgust
Then adored and embraced
The sky ever so omnivorous and inconsistent
Head aches like a knife is penetrating through it
Lips sound like they contain nothing but poison
Putrid rotten malicious hatred emerges
Alters of other depressed freaks are appealing
The pull me with an ironically odd alluring sensation
Yet as appalling as the sensation is
The variances are even more so
So I run into my morbid forsaken underworld
And I ride the train of depression even deeper
Deeper into that eternal hole of darkness
Or so I think at least
That is until your light finally reaches me
The light hurts, eyes aren't used to such purity
Eventually your light totally encompasses me
It yanks me out of that deep dark hole
It brings me to complete bliss
And you leave me out in the bright light like you are
But what will happen if the darkness returns?

Summits
The high sun shines down brutally on my back
Slowly I dismount Natalie and grab my pack
Canteen, blankets and other things I'll need in there
Slowly I take my first step onto that steep slope
My first step onto that massive mountain
That dark, frightening, massive block of dust and snow
I know what lies on top though, so I venture forth
I stumble my way up to a small cliff and sit down to rest
I take out my wallet and look at your picture
Long sighs come from my lungs and tears from my eyes
But I kiss your picture and put it back away and carry on
I despise myself for leaving you, but you are my motivation here
Reaching the summit will not be my only reward
So slowly I pick away at the huge obstacle in front of me
It seems like every other move I take makes me fall though
My body isn't nearly as gashed as my heart though
So I continue to climb away, just for you
Often I look down behind me and ridicule myself
I'm dumbfounded as to why I'm risking all I have climbing here
When there must be a million other objects like the summit has
Yet I keep going despite my confused pessimisms
I just clench my teeth and bare this long lasting ordeal
Days come and go as I climb almost unnoticed by me
One day merges into the next
But my eyes never leave the goal, my purpose, the summit
I keep climbing away and slowly I approach the top
But for some reason I'm afraid of going up all the way
I wonder what will be left for me once I arrive there
I worry about what if the thing the summit is said to contain
Isn't actually there and is a mere fictional idiocy
I stop climbing at the last cliff before the final voyage to the summit
Once again I take out your picture and think of you
And I decide that I must do it, I must go to the top
So slowly I ascend to the upper most point of the world
I have reached the top of that massive mountain
I have done the unthinkable, the impractical and implausible
And I rejoice and yell and take your picture out again
I kiss it with all the passion I could ever muster
And I look back down at the Earth from the top of the mountain
And realize that there really wasn't another thing that could compare
For although there is no materialistic item up here I've found
I've proven my love to you
And I've proven my love for you to myself
For there is now nothing in the world that could keep me from you
And I turn around and kiss you ever so softly
And ask for your hand in marriage
For I've now conquered the most perilous and frightening obstacle
The mountain of true love

The Rain
The sky has the pitch of pure evil
Blacker then the deepest of pits it is
Small cool drops of rain welcome us
They fall from heaven so carelessly
More carelessly then how you fell
But not anywhere close to as hard
Nor as quick, nor as freely as I did
Their impact not nearly as substantial
Their effects will hardly last a second
Where as my fall will a lifetime
Bright bolts fly across the dark sky
Thunderous crashes like that of a cymbal
Make us quiver together like lost puppies
That ever so cold rain still falls steadily
You pick up my hand and kiss it softly
Those warm, moist, soft quivering lips excite me
I can feel my heart itself quivering in pure joy
The pure, unadulterated, magnificent spirit of love flowing
The couragous untamed love of yours conquores me
Slowly I pull you closer and hold you tight
I wrap my arms around you snuggly
You rest your head on my shoulder ever so relaxed
We both sigh contently and close our eyes
And as the lightning crashes ever so vividly
As does our love for each other
We fall asleep in the intense yet calm storm

A Seem
Your torn heart slowly mends itself
The painful flow of love regains it strength
Now all that's left is a seam
A small, but protruding seam
A seam that has no meaning now
But once was all of what saved your heart
You can't see that seem any longer
For new valises now have a holding on your heart
But that seam will always be a part of you
Some days not remembered, but never forgotten
You hold my hand and kiss it softly
You then hold it over your beating heart
Once again, you feel a seam in there, as do I
For I know that a seam like that is important to you
In our times apart you can feel that seam greater
Yet it feels no different in all reality
You bless a seam like that in many ways
And for as many ways as you bless it, you curse it
When you kiss me I can feel that seam
I don't love that seam, but I myself am grateful for it
For though I have never touched that seam like you have
I can always feel a seam in you, and it touches my heart
And in as many ways as that seam has touched you in whole
I can only dream of touching you in good ways
But I know that if you let me, my dream will come true

Blue Dress
The soft short dress of yours falls to the floor
You hold hands ever so intimately
The hand of the forbidden one in the forbidden place
The fallacies of love embrace your heart
What once took years now takes only a second
That beautiful blue garment gathers around your ankles
Your ever so sexy body lunges forward
Your lips meet and you can feel the love emerging
Yet you know not the difference between love and amour
Those ever so erotic French words fly from that mouth
You sway your head and your long hair flies
Careless apprehensions now a must for life
The metronome of your heart silenced by the pull of love
The tonic chordings of real past loves forgotten
The meaning of the most simple and casual actions
Have been replaced by sheer anxiety and stress
Your bountiful bosom bounds with new found joys
Yet your heart mourns the loss of true love
Your legs quiver yet obey your desires, the desires of your body
But not of your soul, not even of your spirit nor mind
Your being is all but disregarded as you body is tortured
Rather, sensuously pleased and mentally and deeply dismissed
As the hands start to wander though you think back
You think back to how his hands wandered in similar ways
Yet he was never so bold as to make unforeseen demands of you
Your love, comfort, purity and satisfaction always proceeded his own
For his emasculate loving nature wanted only to please you
For he found himself not worthy for even your presence
Let alone your loving desires which were so highly held as sacred
So even as your blue dress falls to the floor
You look into their eyes, and you find not love, rather greed
And though you moved past that other man long ago
You long for him back and you refuse to give this one anymore of you
And it's only then that he found his true love and desire in life
The challenge, the challenge of converting and contorting your views
And as he rapes you, you love that other ever so much more

Security Blanket
That deep ever so sharp knife is twisted
Again, and again, and again
Yet I don't bleed, you do
Even though the knife is in my heart
Intruders help the processes even more
Securities now blankets of demonization
Thunder and lightning won't change us
Yet one single drop of rain dissolves you
A million miles couldn't separate us
Yet now less then an inch does so
One minute our hands inseparable
Yet without a word nor action experienced
The next second in penetrateable
Misconstrued feeling taken out of context
Others just plain missed
Legibility never changes, just your sight
Fear dominates both of us amazingly well
We seem to long for that knife to be twisted
Shoved in a little deeper
Shoved in a little more often
Sadomasochistic bondage bound outcasts are we
Yet for one glimmering moment at a time
We see how we make each other feel good
But even for the years of misery
For all the years with the knife plunging on ahead
One kiss seems to erase them all
One hug makes us forgive like God himself
But not forget....
Maybe one day we'll learn that like God

Here I Wait
Intruders come and then leave again
But still here I wait
Loves crossed, confused and conquered
But still here I wait
Your melodies travel off a far
But still here I wait
Your every hope, dream and desire found
But still here I wait
Your every wish, want and need satisfied
But still here I wait
You find other hands to hold, other lips to kiss
But still here I wait
You speak unspeakable words, do inappropriate things
But still here I wait
You find console in the most awkward places
But still here I wait
You find joyous relieves in the arms of other
But still here I wait
You find a purpose for life in other's dreams
But still here I wait
I find no one and nothing else to fill my wants
But still here I wait
I find nothing else to fill my heart
But still here I wait
I find nothing to find relaxation or comfort in
But still here I wait
I know who my heart will always belong to
But still here I wait
I know not if that person will ever see my heart
But still here I wait
I dream the dreams that you long to know
But still here I wait
I will never live those dreams like you shall
But still here I wait
Your friendship is most valuable to me
But still here I wait
I know there may be others like you out there
But still here I wait
I have desires to know others like you
But still here I wait
For I know that you are the only one that will ever love me
So that's why here I still wait

Lakes
The sun slowly starts to set
Our long blissful day is ending now
We still hold hands tightly though
We can see the fish swimming in the lake
The water is dark but very clear
Shallow and cold at the forefront
But the deepest unfound depths are so warm
Many men have ventured into this lake
And all have returned, few truly satisfied though
For they could not find what they were looking for
But in spite of the experiances of other
We bravely, yet cautiously wade into those waters
The soft sands fade away and become small pebbles
Those pebbles soon become larger rocks
They're still smooth, but present a challenge for comfort
But it's here we come to the same problem others had
The calm water is starting to become turbulent
And the once bearably cool water is frigid
We are up to our shoulder in that unpleasant water
Yet we just hug each other and feed of the other's warmth
And we hold hands and venture forward into the great unknown
For although we are terrified of the massively uncharted waters
We feel a need to search and make the void our home
So we take our next step, and another one after that
Though these steps aren't easy we keep going for each other
For we only want to make each other happier
Because we do not feel as if we deserve each other
Yet in all actuality, we are the only ones worthy of the other
One being a deep sentimental fool
The other a un-materialistic gorgeous and mature lover
Our opposing forces pull us towards our common feats
And so we keep venturing forward fearful, yet fearless
Suddenly we notice the water is warm, and floor made of sand
We were so focused on each other instead of our destination
That we went past the worst and most feared part of the exploration
And we find ourselves in the deepest yet most warm part of the lake
For though the lakes of love are trying and omnivorous looking
When you reach the core as we have, all's worth while

Happiness of the Heart
Days come and go usually unnoticed
But this day has been joyously noted
The disappearance of the night by the sun
In the morning seemed to be more substantial then usual
Yet the events which normally astound me
Are either missed or forgotten completely
For this when I awoke
I saw you first thing, and my eyes were happy
The sight of your long flowing hair so carelessly kept
Thrilled my imaginations when I'd think of you as my lover
And when your beautiful blue eyes opened
Instead of feeling judged and scorned as by most
I felt uplifted, loved and appreciated as only you can do
As we walked along the beach by the great massive lake
You held my hand gently, but firmly with your heart
And just as my eyes were, my hands were happy
We wandered to and fro in the fields of hay
Rested and laid down in the apple orchard
We watched the beautiful butterflies fly above us
And the majestic and dominate eagles above them
We climbed up into huge, tall oak trees
And we yelled and screamed joyously feeling like the eagles
Eventually we retreated back to the ground for safety
And just then, you kissed me, and my lips were happy
But now as the sun is setting , I look into those blue eyes
I hold your hand again and kiss you
And as much as I love all of that, for once I feel empty
For though my hands, eyes, and lips are happy
My soul hasn't been satisfied nor my heart filled
So as the sun is almost completely set I let go of your hand
But I look deeper into those beautiful eyes
For they are the key to your inside
And your inside is the only thing that will fill mine

Self Repugnance
Mysterious shadows fall and cover you
The sun still is high in the sky
But some unknown obstacle blocks it now
Its ominous ever, present being deludes you
Sentimental events mistaken for loved ones
Detested ones for those of misguided faith
You look into the water of the lake in front of you
And what once you saw was beautiful
Is now a pitiful and heinous aberration
The disguise seemly been removed and inner discovered
Hateful mourning depression sets in
You feel your heart break into tiny pieces
You remember the broken vows, unkempt promises
The confusion sets in before you can close your mind
You can see all the placentas, all the lies and bad intents
You see that face in the water and wish you had acid
Or a shotgun or one of another million thing to destroy it
To completely annihilate it, shatter its existence
Regret fills your heart and you spew unkind words
You think of all the other things you could have done
You then think of how this mistake is like all the others were
You dismiss this event as just immature idiocy
But for some reason, this time you cry
The tears fly from your eyes like never before
The death of that person you see would be a joyous occasion
And you think again about how you could disembowel them
Your fury reaches a climax and you get up and leave the lake
You come up with the most impractical and unreal ways to kill them
Your utter disgust, repugnance and hatred grow by the minute
You curse their name for their villainous insurrections
You curse yourself for being fool hearty enough to fall for them
But you keep walking towards your car
You fumble around inside looking for where your shotgun is
But after less then a minute you give up and get out of the car
You lay down and stare up at the sky so longingly
But that object that blocks the sun's light is still there
You calm down a bit and realize it really wouldn't have been right
The person you were going to kill didn't deserve it
For although you are a worthless piece of shit
And even though you repeatedly make the same mistakes
It isn't worth ending your life
You know you will find someone out there to rid you of your idiocy
And someone to reduce your abundant over ambitions
And most certainly to make you realize you aren't always right
After all you're never right, it's always someone else

Pure Hearted Simpleton
Vengeance and hostility slow come to an end
The fires of hate have worn down
The putrid rot of flesh is replaced by that of roses
But dozens of roses won't calm your soul
It still holds a trifle of regret
Not regret from your own actions
Rather a regret for your lack of wisdom
The young impressionable and immature mind of yours
You are wise for your years
But your years cannot or lack there of are no excuse
You did what you did, you do what you do
For no other reason then it appeared to be good
Not just good for you, but for everything and everyone
You were gravely mistaken however
And for that you paid dearly
The most passionate and personal items almost were lost
The most precious friendships were tormented
Your thoughtless words tore hearts
Your unthinkable actions swayed allegiances
Only for a brief moment that is
But any minute of insecurity can lead to a downfall
Just as the rats play when the cat is away
Your mind wanders when not lead by your heart
And your heart rules mercilessly when the brain is ignored
You learned many lessons from your actions
Yet you aren't changed at heart
You are still a reckless, reactionary, thoughtless dolt
But even though you are a simpleton
You are a pure hearted simpleton that cares for her
And it's that reason and only that reason she forgives you
Her love is not perfect for no one is perfect in any way
But if angles are the closest thing to perfect on Earth
Then you are be even brighter then Lucifer was before the fall
Only I know you will never fall
For that radiance is so great evil could never approach it
And as you hug me now I feel my heart cleansed
And I start to walk with you once again being worthy of you

Stars
This dark night seems darker then most
But this night is no different than any other
The sun is a million miles away
As is the incredible pain for once
But the ache deep inside still remains
For the night is cold, beyond freezing cold
No stars are in the sky tonight though
And that's one positive thing about this night
For the stars are glimmers of hope
Hope that the sun's bright light will return soon
But hope is just a futile thing
It's hope that drives you crazy, not loneliness
The moon shines bright though
But for some reason it's different
It's closer then any star could ever be
It's more tangible and close
Yet it seems so far away at times
Even now in it's fullness it seems empty
You know not really weather the stars are still there
For even though they glow, no one has been to one
The moon on the other hand has been visited many times
And because of that there is no dream left to it
No mystery, no absurd intrigue still remains
You know you could have the moon if you wanted
But the stars are what you really desire
Many years away they are even at the speed of light
But if you knew you could have them
Then you would risk all you had for just one
You just can not conceive reaching them any way you know of
But you keep searching
Even if you don't reach them in the near future
You'll keep trying and searching with what you have and know
And maybe, just maybe, some day your dreams will come true
But until then I hold you closer trying to keep warm
And I look into your eyes and it's there I see the stars now

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