As Bart and Milhouse wonder aloud if anything truly interesting ever happens to anyone in Springfield, a series of interconnected vignettes focus on the events in the lives of parents, lovers, friends, relatives, businessmen, and children.

At the Kwik-E-Mart, Sanjay convinces Apu to close the store for five minutes of wild merriment. Marge tries to remove a wad of bubblegum from Lisa's hair. A bee sting sends Smithers to the hospital. Moe is elated when barney pays $2,000 on his tab--until Snake comes in and steals the money.

Meanwhile Principal Skinner invites Superintendant Chalmers to his home for dinner, substituting Krusty Burgers when his roast burns, and sets the kitchen on fire. Homer accidentally locks Maggie in a newspaper box. Chief Wiggum and Lou discuss the differences between Krustyburger and McDonald's. Bumblebee Man's real life dilemmas his rival in his sitcom skits. Reverend Lovejoy's dog soils Flander's lawn as Marge experiments on gum-removal techniques on Lisa's hair.

The stories continue. Milhouse traps his father inside a Pulp Fiction-like nightmare in Herman's military antique store. Slack-jawed yokel Cletus rescues a pair of boots from a power line to give to his woman, Brandine. Wiggum, Snake, and Mr. Van Houten are taken hostage by antique store owner Herman. A barber gives Lisa a trendy hairdo. A tall man takes revenge on Nelson, forcing the bully to march down the street with his pants around his ankles.