There were four blonde's sitting on the bank of a river, each with a fishing pole intently concentrating on the task at hand. A Game Warden drives by and see's the four women apparently fishing and decided to check for the proper fishing licenses and equipment. He approached the women and told them he needed to check for their fishing licenses and to his surprise, they all replied they did not have one. However, before the Warden could speak, one of the women spoke up and said, "Mr. Warden, sir, we are not fishing for you normal catch. We are environmentalist ridding the waters of garbage and other debris. "We are not fishing for "fish." "We have poles, yes, but on the end of our lines we have magnets. The magnets are gathering up metallic debris from the bottom of this river and therefore, were are cleaning the environment." Stunned, the Game Warden thought for a moment and then asked the women to retrieve their lines an show him the "magnets" they were using. Sure enough, one after the other, the women showed the Warden various sized and colored magnets at the end of their line. Puzzled, the Warden again thought for a moment then stated. "Well, you ladies seem to be doing a good thing here and there is no law against cleaning up a river bed with a magnet. More people should be like you four. Have a nice day." With that the Warden drove off. As soon as the the Warden was out of sight, the four women burst out in hysterical laughter. Finally, when one of them was able to speak, she said, "Stupid Fish Cop!. Doesn't he know there are STEELHEAD in this river?!!!" 

No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man. The game warden asked him how he did it. The man told the game warden that he would take him fishing the next day. Once they got to the middle of the lake the man took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the water. The man took out a net and started picking up the fish. The game warden told him that this was illegal. The man took out another stick of dynamite and lit it. He then handed it to the game warden and said " are you going to fish or talk".

Q: How fast do you need to run to get away from a crocodile?
A: The a little bit faster than your Mate.

A guy and his buddies go off for a week long fishing trip.
When he returns he is furious with his wife, he say's "you forgot to pack my underwear".
Her reply " I put it in your tackle box "

Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was. "Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away." "Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off." "But that's just what I did, mommy."

A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden! Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden. After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped. With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..."

Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing. After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop in their lines in the water. After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens of fish while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite. Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm." Jethro asks, "What did you say?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm." Jethro again asks, "What?" Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!"

One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river, as usual. It was cold and raining, and he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "What a terrible weather today, honey." he said to her. "Yes. And my idiot went fishing!"

Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones outand throw them at me, will you?" "Why do you want me to throw them at you?" "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them." "Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy." "But why?" "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight."

Two morons were in a boat fishing. They had great luck. One moron said to the other "we should mark this spot." So the other one leaned over a put a mark on the side of the boat. His buddy said "you fool that won't work". "Why" said the other. Because his buddy said "we may not get the same boat tomorrow".

How to spot the difference...FISHING and sex are both popular past-times- but that's the usually where the similarities end.

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. A Wal-Mart associate is standing there with dark shades on.

She says, ''Excuse me, sir, can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?''

He says, ''Ma'am, I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes.''

She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.

He said, ''That's a 6' graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all-around rod and reel and it's $20.00.''

She says, ''That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it.''

He walks behind the counter to the register. Just then, the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her—being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

He rings up the sale and says, ''That will be $25.50.''

She says, ''But didn't you say it was $20.00?''

He says, ''Yes, ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50.''

One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather.  One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river, as usual.  It was cold and raining, and for the first time ever he decided to return back to his house.  He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife.

"What terrible weather today, honey." he said to her.

"Yes.  And my idiot husband went fishing!"